Searching for the right person

[PlainVanilla]

I have not been an active member on this site, but I have read stories from time to time. Lately I have been intrigued by the dom/sub lifestyle. I am looking for my dom who is caring, compassionate as well protective and dominant.

 

[CutieMouse]

Welcome to Lit's BDSM forum; BDSM Personals is down the hall and to the right.

However, a bit of unsolicited advice, would be to not necessarily hop straight into a Dom/sub arrangement. Explore. Ask questions. Start threads. Consider bottoming, for starters (Go to a local event or two (a "munch" is a kink friendly gathering at a local restaurant/etc to socialize, without any pressure). Figure out what attracts you to "Dom/sub" - there are many many variations of the theme. If you don't have one already, develop a good BS detector... lots of people claim X, without any ability to back it up.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have not been an active member on this site, but I have read stories from time to time. Lately I have been intrigued by the dom/sub lifestyle. I am looking for my dom who is caring, compassionate as well protective and dominant.

Of course you are! You're looking for the same Prince Charming that everyone wants to find, and why not, after all?

But men who consider themselves dominant are not always what women consider compassionate-- or protective, for that matter. To make a sweeping and indefensible generalisation, there is a huge cultural disconnect between what women think of and what men think of when they think of BDSM. And the stories you love are usually written by women-- without much input from men.

But who knows? You may very possibly find what you are looking for

 

[Primalex]

To make a sweeping and indefensible generalisation, there is a huge cultural disconnect between what women think of and what men think of when they think of BDSM.

Ha.

You know that you can replace BDSM with basically any word out there?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ha.

You know that you can replace BDSM with basically any word out there?

It is to be hoped that somewhere, somehow, the two halves of human beings will approach accord on something.

 

[blulilacgrl]

I have not been an active member on this site, but I have read stories from time to time. Lately I have been intrigued by the dom/sub lifestyle. I am looking for my dom who is caring, compassionate as well protective and dominant.

I second the notion of looking around and would like to add that you need to be careful. Depending on the Dom... well his show of caring and protection might be quite different from the "norm". There is an adjustment to be made from the Prince Charming notion of protection and compassion and caring.

Some Doms can at some times be ruthless and will push you and prod you to see you break. And at other times they can be a safe haven for you to hide in. And sometimes that shift can make your head spin.

Please take your time and be knowledgeable about what you are really searching for. Is this something you only want in the bedroom? Or is this a lifestyle you want to live 24/7? What are your hard limits and what exactly do you want to explore?

And keep in mind, you need to know who you are before you give yourself to someone else.

 

[PlainVanilla]

Thank you for the replies and I am taking my time and exploring the possibilities. I don't take this lightly and am looking for that special one that makes the connection that I am seeking.

 

[Que]

I would probably add some optional mix-ins to the plain vanilla for a start.