Searching for my Someone

[Jellyish]

Hi! Not sure if I’m posting in the right place/category (thread vs. post?) but seriously, are there any discrete, not married, irl Doms in PDX Oregon who aren’t young enough to be my child? 59 years young, novice sub searching for first in-person Dom. Tired of living the lifestyle in my head, lonely & hoping to try some new & kinky things within the D/s dynamic. No Trumpers, please!

 

[AnnieLit]

I am not him, but I am here to wish you luck! They are there, some are even not married, but it's a struggle to find one.

I had much better luck with FetLife as there you can filter by location.

Also, check on Fet if you have local munches going, it might be helpful to go attend it once or twice. Also, check if you have live rope classes in the area. Sometimes sex stores run those classes for free with the hope that people will buy something, or there might be people teaching this as an ongoing class.

 

[Jellyish]

Thank you! I am on Fetlife but only hear from married men half my my age…and have been to a total of one munch, lol! But it was 3/4 heavy & heavily tattooed ladies, so while it was nice, there were definitely no Dom potentials! As for other events, I’m truly terrified of going by myself, and all my gfs are either married, or not the kind I want to share my “other” lifestyle-wish with! What’s a poor wannabe sub to do?

 

[AnnieLit]

Thank you! I am on Fetlife but only hear from married men half my my age…and have been to a total of one munch, lol! But it was 3/4 heavy & heavily tattooed ladies, so while it was nice, there were definitely no Dom potentials! As for other events, I’m truly terrified of going by myself, and all my gfs are either married, or not the kind I want to share my “other” lifestyle-wish with! What’s a poor wannabe sub to do?

And if your gfs are married they are not allowed to go to a rope class? Married people (sometimes) have sex as well, and not necessarily pure vanilla type either. These classes are not like dating apps, you *might* meet someone there, but technically they are just that - classes for people to learn both about safety and the proper ways to do things.

 

[MorpheusLunar]

Thank you! I am on Fetlife but only hear from married men half my my age…and have been to a total of one munch, lol! But it was 3/4 heavy & heavily tattooed ladies, so while it was nice, there were definitely no Dom potentials! As for other events, I’m truly terrified of going by myself, and all my gfs are either married, or not the kind I want to share my “other” lifestyle-wish with! What’s a poor wannabe sub to do?

What’s o poor sub to do? Well good job - you’re doing it. Self actuating discovery. Keep reaching out, keep posting and you will find your way! I actually wore a crazy disguise to my very first meet n greet. And now look at me- a poorly adjusted male talking to uncertain female subbies. Life is good. Fear not little one.

 

[Jellyish]

And if your gfs are married they are not allowed to go to a rope class? Married people (sometimes) have sex as well, and not necessarily pure vanilla type either. These classes are not like dating apps, you *might* meet someone there, but technically they are just that - classes for people to learn both about safety and the proper ways to do things.

Ha ha, yes I get all that but apparently you missed the part where I said my gfs are not the kind I can share my kink curiosities with…

 

[AnnieLit]

Ha ha, yes I get all that but apparently you missed the part where I said my gfs are not the kind I can share my kink curiosities with…

I didn't miss it, I just thought you were talking about different sets of friends - some are married and others are not the ones you can share this with.

But generally speaking, I wouldn't go alone to a play party, but to a shibari class - why not? It's a class, no more than that. A class for people with very specific interests, sure, but still a class and people behave as adults there, not as horny teens Same with classes on impact play. On those it's actually mostly men. Some came with female partners, but I think I was the only single female there, which is perfectly fine by me. I have no idea how many of them are married, I didn't ask, but many were eager to chat after the class.

 

[Jellyish]

I’ll consider it, thank you!

 

[Jellyish]

What’s o poor sub to do? Well good job - you’re doing it. Self actuating discovery. Keep reaching out, keep posting and you will find your way! I actually wore a crazy disguise to my very first meet n greet. And now look at me- a poorly adjusted male talking to uncertain female subbies. Life is good. Fear not little one.

I’m not afraid of much, just discouraged. Nothing personal but men can be real jerks, so I’m running on fumes in the trust department. But thank you for your kind words!

 

[MorpheusLunar]

No one warned me about this trail I’m on. No wayside markers, no road under repairs. It’s forge ahead and hope you don’t fuck it up. Sorry bout my gender we are a rather selfish lot. I too am living in discouragement. But each day the sun rises in the east just like I hope for. Peace.