Scientists or medical professionals...

[going_long]

I have the shits.

Not a common-or-garden watery stool but a full-on rectal niagra.

Normally I'm in one-a-day man with a steady 2 or 3 on the Bristol Stool Scale but this is most definitely a 7 and if there was an 8, 9 and 10 I'd probably take those as well.

This is where you come in. I'm not after a cure (although any suggestions are welcome) but I want to know where all this fluid comes from? I understand what makes up a solid poop but this is outside my range of experience. There is gallons of the stuff.

I've probably shat a small bucket full so far today (I haven't been collecting it from the start) and I haven't eaten or drunk anything like that amount.

So to paraphrase the question: Where does all the water in a watery poo come from and where have all the bits that usually make up a solid poo gone?

This board is heaving with intelligentsia, somebody must have an answer.

 

[Fata Morgana]

Weirdo.

 

[going_long]

Weirdo.

It's a bottom doctor I need today, not a psychiatrist, although I'll take your considered opinion on-board. Thank you.

 

[oggbashan]

1. A large percentage of your body is made of water. Some of that is coming out, therefore you will be becoming dehydrated which can be dangerous, so,

2. Take a rehydrator such as Diolyte to replenish your body fluids, and,

3. Consult a professional medic, not a porn board.

 

[blobfish]

Eat some watermelon.

 

[islandman]

3. Consult a professional medic, not a porn board.

I think he meant to post this on the fetish board. Most sane people would have skipped the internet altogether for the nearest Urgent Care.

 

[going_long]

1. A large percentage of your body is made of water. Some of that is coming out, therefore you will be becoming dehydrated which can be dangerous, so,

2. Take a rehydrator such as Diolyte to replenish your body fluids, and,

3. Consult a professional medic, not a porn board.

Thanks for your concern. I'm certainly going to take steps to fix the problem. As for seeing a medic, do you know how hard it is to get to see a doctor. I was working on the premise that there was probably more doctors looking at porn than work in my local surgery so in a way I'm just jumping the queue.

 

[KingOrfeo]

I'm no doctor, but I recall from high-school bio that one of the functions of your colon is to extract water from your feces, reducing them to something semi-solid. If for whatever reason it's not doing that job today, watery discharge is the natural result.

 

[mustang200]

Thanks for your concern. I'm certainly going to take steps to fix the problem. As for seeing a medic, do you know how hard it is to get to see a doctor. I was working on the premise that there was probably more doctors looking at porn than work in my local surgery so in a way I'm just jumping the queue.

Ahhh, the joys of socialized medicine. This is what we have to look forward to.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Have you tried a butt-plug? I'm not sure of the proper use, but the name alone indicates it could solve your problem.

 

[CHNOPS]

 

[thør]

About 10 heaping tablespoons of Quik-Gel bentonite pellets should do the trick. Choke it down dry and then drink 4 glasses of water. Guaranteed to plug you up. In fact, you may never have to use the toilet again.

Remember, I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV.

 

[KyleW]

Stop eating beans on toast.