Um. I'm sort of embarrassed about writing this, but I'm too scared to have sex. Everybody says it hurts at the beginning but it's okay later on, but still . . . My boyfriend of a year and a half keeps trying to get me to do it, and I don't like disappointing him, but I'm afraid that it'll hurt. Can somebody help me get over it?
scared
- Thread starter karlina
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Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
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karlina said:
I'll let the ladies of the board reassure you about the pain of defloration. I will say that it doesn't have to be a traumatic pain if your partner is aware of your fear.
My question is do you want to do this for him, or for you?
If you are having sex under duress, no matter how gentle the coercian is, YOU are not going to enjoy it. The first step is for you to decide if and why you want to have sex. Until YOU are ready, don't give in to his begging and whining. Begging and whining are NOT the best way to seduce a virgin.
I wonder if you masturbate? Are you comfortable with your body when you are alone? Have you ever had an orgasm? Do you and your boyfriend indulge in petting? Oral sex?
"Sex" isn't just intercourse. "Sex" is foreplay and preparation, followed by cuddling and afterplay. Take things a step at a time. When the right time comes, you won't even think about being afraid.
G
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GoddessTiggs77@aol.com
It looks like WH has given you some sound advice thus far. You really need to ask yourself if you're doing this for you or for him. Have you ever experienced any sexual pleasure? If not, then I'm sure you have no desire for sex. I'll tell you, before I had intercourse, I had been sexually active. By the time I lost my virginity, it did not hurt. I'm sure that through the course of my adolescence I had torn (a little if not all) my hymen. If you don't masturbate or play sexually with your boyfriend, then there's no escaping some pain during sex. He can, however, be gentle and make sure you are wet/lubed up. That can help take away some discomfort. From my understanding of it, baised on what other female friends have told me, the pain is like getting something pierced or tattooed. It hurts for maybe a minute or so and quickly leaves. Good luck to you. If you have any other questions, etc., feel free to post back or e-mail me.
~Tiggs~
[Edited by Tiggs on 12-20-2000 at 06:28 AM]
It looks like WH has given you some sound advice thus far. You really need to ask yourself if you're doing this for you or for him. Have you ever experienced any sexual pleasure? If not, then I'm sure you have no desire for sex. I'll tell you, before I had intercourse, I had been sexually active. By the time I lost my virginity, it did not hurt. I'm sure that through the course of my adolescence I had torn (a little if not all) my hymen. If you don't masturbate or play sexually with your boyfriend, then there's no escaping some pain during sex. He can, however, be gentle and make sure you are wet/lubed up. That can help take away some discomfort. From my understanding of it, baised on what other female friends have told me, the pain is like getting something pierced or tattooed. It hurts for maybe a minute or so and quickly leaves. Good luck to you. If you have any other questions, etc., feel free to post back or e-mail me.
~Tiggs~
[Edited by Tiggs on 12-20-2000 at 06:28 AM]
