I may be wrong but it sounds like something you want to try and are nervous about. If that is the case you need to talk to your Mistress darling and let her know what you are feeling...even if you arent sure why. Im betting after you do there will be a big difference in how you feel about it.Funinpanties said:
NCShin said:Yes, I have a double standard. If a guy sucks a dick he's gay. that's it, bottom line, don't care why he's doing it. It may (or maybe not) wrong, but there you have it.
When i said "it's either something you want or not" what I meant was, you're either gay or you're not.
Not necessarily.....sexuality is not that cut and dried.
The double standard is that I do not feel that way if two women are together.
Me thinks then perhaps you better look at why you think it is gay for one gender and not another as I would suspect the reason is homophobia which is way too outdated to be considered cool. Let's face it, if it is okay for women and not a sign they are homosexual, then it also cannot be a definite sign of gayness for men.
As for a mistress making her sub do this. I do not believe that it is right unless the submissive states that it's an interest. If he has come to her as a straight man, he is and shouldn't be forced to do otherwise.
This is not that uncommon, and something that needs to be discussed as a limit beforehand. Many male subs are looking for this type humiliation and challenge, and many Dom/mes expect it. Some are curious and find it a good way to explore without the burden of guilt.
The point of domination (at least to me) isn't to force a person to do something that they don't want to do. It's to force them to do things that they do want to do.
I respect this is your opinion, but then where is the D/s if there are never any challenges, if everything demanded is what the sub has indicated they want to do in the first place? Where is the dominance in that, or the submission? Hard limits are definatley to be respected and understoood to be non-negotiable, but for me I tend to think if someone has made something a soft limit, it may not be to their liking but is recognised as something they will do or will find challenging and growth oriented to be made in some way to move beyond for the Dominant's pleasure.
Now, as I said above, if she brought this up, you've considered it and decided to go for it, then more power to ya! If you do not wish to do it and your domme is forcing the issue then in my opinion she is wrong.
Sometimes it is a matter of a Dom/me knowing what is best for the sub and leading them there. I know for us it has often been the case, and though I do not find it easy, do not meekly submit from the first mention of the task, may need to work extensively on my headspace to meet the challenge, he does know what it is I need and does lead me through it and out the other side with strength and sensitivity. If he sees it is too much at the time in sppace he had asked for, he will retract the order until we reach a point where I can safely submit to his demands.
Catalina
catalina_francisco said:NCShin said:Yes, I have a double standard. If a guy sucks a dick he's gay. that's it, bottom line, don't care why he's doing it. It may (or maybe not) wrong, but there you have it.
When i said "it's either something you want or not" what I meant was, you're either gay or you're not.
Not necessarily.....sexuality is not that cut and dried.
The double standard is that I do not feel that way if two women are together.
Me thinks then perhaps you better look at why you think it is gay for one gender and not another as I would suspect the reason is homophobia which is way too outdated to be considered cool. Let's face it, if it is okay for women and not a sign they are homosexual, then it also cannot be a definite sign of gayness for men.
As for a mistress making her sub do this. I do not believe that it is right unless the submissive states that it's an interest. If he has come to her as a straight man, he is and shouldn't be forced to do otherwise.
This is not that uncommon, and something that needs to be discussed as a limit beforehand. Many male subs are looking for this type humiliation and challenge, and many Dom/mes expect it. Some are curious and find it a good way to explore without the burden of guilt.
The point of domination (at least to me) isn't to force a person to do something that they don't want to do. It's to force them to do things that they do want to do.
I respect this is your opinion, but then where is the D/s if there are never any challenges, if everything demanded is what the sub has indicated they want to do in the first place? Where is the dominance in that, or the submission? Hard limits are definatley to be respected and understoood to be non-negotiable, but for me I tend to think if someone has made something a soft limit, it may not be to their liking but is recognised as something they will do or will find challenging and growth oriented to be made in some way to move beyond for the Dominant's pleasure.
Now, as I said above, if she brought this up, you've considered it and decided to go for it, then more power to ya! If you do not wish to do it and your domme is forcing the issue then in my opinion she is wrong.
Sometimes it is a matter of a Dom/me knowing what is best for the sub and leading them there. I know for us it has often been the case, and though I do not find it easy, do not meekly submit from the first mention of the task, may need to work extensively on my headspace to meet the challenge, he does know what it is I need and does lead me through it and out the other side with strength and sensitivity. If he sees it is too much at the time in sppace he had asked for, he will retract the order until we reach a point where I can safely submit to his demands.
Catalina
I wanted to kinda reply to some of this...
My views on if a man is gay or not is not based on fear at all. I have no less comfort with a gay man in any given situation as a woman would in that same situation. What does that mean? If you're female and would feel uncomfortable doing a given thing in front of a straight man, then it's likely i'd feel uncomfortable doing it in front of a gay man. This would include but not be limited to, Military sleeping arangments, public showers (locker rooms) and other similar areas.
A bit more toward the topic at hand. For *ME* in *MY VIEW* making a straight submissive male have sexual interaction with another male is on the same level as things such as scat, beastiality and so on.
Just because the girl i'm with has never expressly stated that she's not interested in animals, doesn't mean that I should let one have it's way with her.
As to why i don't feel the same way about women? I really don't know. It might be because i find women attractive, and so can therefor understand why a woman might think the same thing. That isn't a good reason, but this is an admitted double standard, so why would it have a good reason?
As for making someone do things they want to vs things they don't. I think that a person can want something very badly and it still be extremely difficult to actually do.
Holy crap, NCShin. Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm just a little bit shocked by your statement. You've heard of bisexuality haven't you? But even outside of that, how does a guy obeying his Mistress's orders become gay just by sucking a guy off at her direction?NCShin said:
Netzach said:
