Sarcasm

[Countess DeWinter]

...doesn't come across well in type, unless you flag it as such.
I'm a very sarcastic person generally. Well, I was. I lost an internet friend by being sarcastic without thinking and without flagging it. So now, I'm much more careful when I'm typing to just say what I mean rather than being sarcastic or obtuse.
You know what, now, in RL, I'm not nearly as sarcastic as I used to be.

Anyone else have a similar story? Or do you just not care if people "get it" or not?

 

[DriveSouth]

Countess

I too am a normally sarcastic person ... try to avoid such things here - as you said, sarcasm rarely works in type. Sure I have chased more than a few from my contact list.

 

[CW]

I am usually a sacastic old fart in RL with folks that I know well,,, But at least in RL they can see the grin that accompanies my flippancy,,,

I try to lay off of it here though,,, too few friends to chance losing any thru a smart-assed flippant reply and the possible resultant misunderstandings

 

[Madame Pandora]

Personally...

If someone can't understand or tolerate the sarcasm I use to express myself, there isn't a good chance of our becoming friends in the first place. If they don't have the sense of humor and benefit of the doubt for it, that's usually an indication of something else about their personalities that will clash with mine. I have many business acquaintances who I "tone down" for out of courtesy when we are forced together in a setting such as a business meeting, but generally I am just myself and they are free to be in my company or not be in my company accordingly.

I have never been a person to give much concern to how others view me (joke ‘em if they can’t take a fuck is a common quip among my clan), so I am the same with my sarcasm here as I am IRL. That is not to say I won't at least make an attempt to clarify things or explain something which has been misconstrued by another. I would rather apologize when the need arises than alter myself for whomever wafts into my life. I find that most people will respect you for being who you are, even if you offend them in the beginning. Only someone endlessly tedious will have the nerve to CONTINUALLY dictate the behavior of others. But I also respect someone who will tell me where they stand. Gives me a chance to converse with them about it. Not to defend ourselves, mind you, but to see if there is a common ground to stand upon. But, I have also met and befriended MANY people on the basis of debating such an issue. A few of the people dearest to me are quiet, reserved, and patient. They’d have to be, right?

If it costs me a "friend" well, then my view would have to be that they weren't much of a friend in the first place...and they were probably just jealous that they didn't get the jokes or have anything witty to say themselves ;-) I am willing to endure the loss.

The problem with online is that it changes the nature of sarcasm. Most sarcastic remarks IRL as spoken amid a few people, somewhat hushed and apart from anyone who might be offended. It is not a person standing in the middle of the room being confrontational to an audience. There’s a term for that and it’s called stand up.

Rather than ask people to alter their behavior, I wish that people would just accept the medium. It’s all just words. If some of them truly upset you, ask for clarification. If you have smartass, opinionated friends IRL, odds are you won’t have much trouble lending the people online the same benefit of the doubt.

Everyone finds different things distasteful. In my case, the length of my posts and the sharpness of some of the words I use don’t sit will with everyone. That’s life. In turn, I find the method of making multiple personal conversation posts to be off putting. I am the same in real life, though. It is like having a group discussion where one or two people are constantly interrupting and vying for the attention of the whole. But then, there are others who seem to enjoy that sort of thing…so, different strokes for different folks. I’m sure in real life there are just as many people who consider me smug and long-winded, just like those individuals who do so here. The bottom line is that we endure what we don’t like if the rest of the company is worth it.

My friends are mostly sarcastic smartasses, or people who just like a good laugh. They are also the most inspiring, caring, wonderful people I have ever had the privilege to know. I figure if I cast out my nets and come up with a catch like that, I can't be doing it all wrong ;-)

I don’t think ANYONE should change their behavior just because it is online. I think everyone should just provide a little more benefit of the doubt and be willing to spend a little more time explaining if need be. If you change yourself for the written word, then you’re just going to have to change right back again when it all goes voice and beyond ten years down the line. ;-)

Just MHO

MP

[Edited by Madame Pandora on 01-31-2001 at 09:30 AM]

 

[TonyG]

Madame Pandora

You, long winded? Never boring though.

Countess
I find myself being less sarcastic on-line because I do not want to upset the apple cart (so to speak). I do not know anyone here at Lit IRL, therefore the only personality of them I know is what I take from the GB. Madame Pandora stated that on-line we should provide a little more 'benefit of the doubt'. I try to do just that by assuming someone WILL NOT understand my sarcasm at first. IRL I like to use sarcasm to take the edge off of things at certain times. People can view my facial features when I do this and tell I am not trying to hurt. I find it hard to 'express by typing' a facial feature on-line.

I think some gentle sarcasm in one's every day life is a good thing.

 

[Siren]

Most of what I post here is sarcastic or has some sarcasm in it....

 

[naudiz]

Both online and RL, people take me too damned seriously, and that's probably why I don't have a lot of friends, but the friends I do have are good as gold. I just take it as a given no one is going to 'get' me, so when they actually do, it's a pleasant surprise.

And sometimes I do the emoticon overkill just to impress upon people that I'm -kidding-. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.

 

[Ezzy]

Nope it doesn't...

And sometimes I do the emoticon overkill just to impress upon people that I'm -kidding-. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.

EZ http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/sleep.gif http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/cwm2.gif http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/cwm29.gif

 

[naudiz]

Re: Nope it doesn't...

Aw, Ezzy. Don't you know I'm only kidding? <-- see, it's starting to become a reflex!

Your little blue guys are getting more adorable by the day. I'm mean the ones after his name, perverts.

 

[Ezzy]

<Winking one of my blue eyes even though he looks yellow>

LMAO.

Holding my sides to stop them splitting.

Sawwy naudiz, I was just being sarcastic http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/net4/popworm.gif





EZ http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[naudiz]

Ezzy

Aw, your worm is kind of cute, too.

If you're holding your sides to stop them from splitting, do I even want to know what you're typing with?

Who am I kidding? Of course I want to know.