Sarah Goodenough

[ROBERTDAVIDSON]

SARAH GOODENOUGH

When One Loves And The Other Doesn't

by Robert Davidson

Sarah was an erotic blonde
Rather wide-eyed and very pink -
Who presented Love in its most obese aspect
As honey-coloured her hair fell liquid gold

Not the most romantic of love-nests, she thought
As she lay exposed upon the heap of hessian in the shed
Beside a pot of maidenhair and garden tools
While outside was a desperate magpie's cry

He had always wanted the fast lane, she knew
Exciting embraces in corners
The moment of quick passion in the dark -
He, distrusting the snares of sentiment
Feared she was waiting to trap him with tender love-talk

She felt the pressure of his body against her own
Her blunt fingers touching, stroking, pleasing
While he tried out her buttocks with a callused hand.
You enjoyed her like a warm bath, he once said
The strong grip of her solid thighs

Later Sarah sat with her legs apart, plumply exposed
In the shed dusted with late afternoon light
Cold eyes burn the deepest, she sadly thought
As she felt them penetrate
Her glitter of golden vaginal hair

Declare your secret love? Not likely!
She was biting her hand against bitter tears
Knowing it was the way life got hold of you.
Outside in the garden a thrush sang sweetly. But -
No - she knew she could never speak her silent love!

Copyright 2006

 

[mojo_cat]

SARAH GOODENOUGH

Her glitter of golden vaginal hair

this poem is all right, but this line sticks out like a bad note. as written now, anyways.

if you're trying to show the dewy dampness of lady-juice collecting in her thatch, you might want to use a word other than "glitter". glitter isn't a noun in this case since you didn't mean a bunch of shiny confetti, so it would be "glittery" or perhaps it would glitter, i.e. "the lake glittered". it could be the adjective but if it were it's used in the wrong tense. also, "vaginal hair" is sort of cold and formal for this poem, and it seems out of place.

i'd try something more body-oriented, as this also leaves an image of her having sprinkled glitter on her flowing locks of crotch-mane and that's weird. the poem is formal and somewhat victorian sounding to me, and it's 10 beats, so maybe like...

"Her pot of hidden, sticky honey"?

I dunno. It's good, I just can't dig that line.