Santa you two timing FUCK!!!

[Mrs Claus]

I can't believe this! I leave you alone for one day and you're already searching for pussy on the net!

You know I put up with a LOT. I never get to spend Christmas with you, you're in that stupid work shop 24/7 or off having a circle jerk with those God damned elves!

I forgave you after I caught you with that slut Blitzen last summer but this is the last straw!

 

[His_kitty]

He also said you were frigid.

 

[Santa Claus]

Shit. Wasn't me. Hermie got his hands on my user id again.

HO HO HO!!

 

[Mrs Claus]

So that wasn't you sliding your pole down that sunslut's chimney huh?

I've had it with you! You think that just because you have a huge cock you get to stick it where ever you want and I'll just wait patiently till you feel like comming home?

You know I've had other offers. The Easter Bunny may not be hung like a reindeer but at least he lasts longer than it takes to say Ho Ho Ho!

 

[Guest]

 

[sunstruck]

So that wasn't you sliding your pole down that sunslut's chimney huh?

I'm sorry WHAT did you call me???

 

[Santa Claus]

The Easter Bunny? THE EASTER BUNNY?? Give me a break. You know he can't even get it up these days without a double shot of Viagra. Don't think this shit doesn't come up at the gym.

You know, it's not easy giving out gifts to 6 billion people in one night. I think I deserve just a little slack here. You certainly don't help me relax.

Maybe if you spent less time riding that fucked up mechanical bull the Elves made for you I wouldn't have to go off screwing every slut on the internet.

 

[kotori]

The Easter Bunny may not be hung like a reindeer but at least he lasts longer than it takes to say Ho Ho Ho!

Aww, Mrs. C, I'm blushing. Thanks, sweetie.

 

[Mrs Claus]

I'm sorry WHAT did you call me???

Hmmm, yup! Pretty sure I called you a SLUT!


And for YOU Santa! You work one count 'em ONE night a year. I have you and 600 fucking elves to feed. When do I get 364 days off huh?

And at least the bull gives me more than two thrusts.


Hey Kotori. Love your antlers. Wanna take me for a ride?

 

[His_kitty]

I'm sorry WHAT did you call me???

lmao

Sunset doesn't look too bad now does it?

 

[Santa Claus]

Hey Kotori. Love your antlers. Wanna take me for a ride?

You know, this night is tough enough without you fucking all the reindeer and sapping their strength before the trip. You could at least wait till tomorrow.

You might want to think about a makeover, too. You're looking kind of old.

 

[sunstruck]

lmao

Sunset doesn't look too bad now does it?

LOL No it doesn't.

Look Santa's bitch, it's not my problem you can't keep a man. Maybe if you tried laying off the nog and "riding the reindeer" he might stay home a Christmas or two.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I understand Mrs. Claus is a Ho-Ho-Ho.

 

[Lasher]

Am I the only one who sees the irony in Santa getting his jollies with Sunslut.. er, sunstruck?

 

[sunstruck]

Am I the only one who sees the irony in Santa getting his jollies with Sunslut.. er, sunstruck?

Very funny kitten. So I have a think for jolly men with beards!

 

[Mrs Claus]

I understand Mrs. Claus is a Ho-Ho-Ho.

Depends on who's asking. Do you ever get it up north Mr. Lee?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Yeah. But I came ice cubes. Ouch.

 

[Purrde Flower]

Yeah. But I came ice cubes. Ouch.

haha.

 

[Mrs Claus]

Yeah. But I came ice cubes. Ouch.

I can melt your frozen middle pretty boy. Let me sit on your lap and I'll make all your Christmas wishes cum true.

 

[Santa Claus]

I can melt your frozen middle pretty boy. Let me sit on your lap and I'll make all your Christmas wishes cum true.

Your butt's going to end up in a snow drift if you keep this up.

 

[Liontamr]

Woah..

I think I just walked into the Jerry Springer Christmas special.

 

[Lancecastor]

Your butt's going to end up in a snow drift if you keep this up.

Speaking of butts, could you drop Beyonce down my chimney this eve?

Thanks.

 

[Bob Peale]

...You think that just because you have a huge cock you get to stick it where ever you want and I'll just wait patiently till you feel like comming home?

Somebody changed the rules again?

 

[cuz cracker]

um, Mrs. Claus... you don't happen to use cheap ass redneck spices do you?

 

[Bill_Clinton]

Santa that was one great blow job you gave.

Did you enjoy but fucking me.