Salmon sperm facials

[Privates1stClass]

Saw an article that salmon sperm facials are a big thing now. https://www.nbcnews.com/select/shopping/salmon-sperm-skin-care-rcna227796 There has to be a plot bunny in there somewhere. What's so much better about salmon sperm that human sperm can't compete with?

 

[big_cane_sugar]

I am sure that many, many gentlemen have tried to persuade the ladies that human sperm facials are good for the skin.

I have also heard of boys trying to persuade girls that their boobs would get bigger if they let the boys play with them. I am unclear as to whether anyone was genuinely persuaded by that argument, but I suspect more than one young lady pretended to believe it in order to do something she wanted to do but did not want to be known to have wanted to do. (I haven't slept in 36 hours so I leave it to the charitable reader to figure out the meaning in that sentence, if there is any.)

 

[KittyOfSteele]

I don't know...

I know a doctor once prescribed me a cream for some wounds that I had, and that cream was made out of whale sperm.

Human sperm has estrogen in it AFAIK.

Salmon? I didn't think people were going for a smaller fish, but ok...

Do what you want with all this information.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

I don't know...

I know a doctor once prescribed me a cream for some wounds that I had, and that cream was made out of whale sperm.

Human sperm has estrogen in it AFAIK.

Salmon? I didn't think people were going for a smaller fish, but ok...

Do what you want with all this information.

I mean obviously I'm going swimming in the ocean

 

[KittyOfSteele]

I mean obviously I'm going swimming in the ocean

If yer lookin' for chest an' booty, beware they don't belong to Davy Jones, matey.

 

[onehitwanda]

This is why I don't read ingredient lists.

 

[TheLobster]

There has to be a plot bunny in there somewhere.

More importantly, there is a whole thread of fish puns to be made here, but I'll leave it to salmon else to start on that.

 

[onehitwanda]

More importantly, there is a whole thread of fish puns to be made here, but I'll leave it to salmon else to start on that.

This is not the plaice for that.

 

[jsmiam]

Recent news cycles include the story about toothpaste made from sheep’s wool, which (from a scan) appears to have some scientific merit. At least, it came from scientists, but info is scant at the moment.

I can’t help but feel salmon sperm facials are closer to bee-sting facials than anything resembling science though. Nonetheless, clearly only sockeye salmon sperm should count! ;-)

 

[Bramblethorn]

Saw an article that salmon sperm facials are a big thing now. https://www.nbcnews.com/select/shopping/salmon-sperm-skin-care-rcna227796 There has to be a plot bunny in there somewhere. What's so much better about salmon sperm that human sperm can't compete with?

This seems like propaganda put about by Big Fish.

I don't know...

I know a doctor once prescribed me a cream for some wounds that I had, and that cream was made out of whale sperm.

"Whale sperm" doesn't always mean semen. Some whales produce a kind of oil which looks like semen, and medieval biologists called it "whale sperm" even though it's produced at the wrong end of the whale and not involved in reproduction. This is probably what was in that cream:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermaceti

It used to be popular for making candles, resulting in this unexpected passage:

Van Helsing went about his work systematically. Holding his candle so that he could read the coffin plates, and so holding it that the sperm dropped in white patches which congealed as they touched the metal, he made assurance of Lucy’s coffin.

- Bram Stoker, "Dracula"