Safe Sex in Erotica and Porn

[daughter]

A member recently said that an unsafe sex element in a story of mine distracted her momentarily. Didn't kill her enjoyment for the story, but in this climate of safe sex advocacy, she did note it.

Personally, I enjoy gang bang scenes. I don't expect safe sex practices being factored into these scenarios. A bunch of guys responsibly putting on condoms in the midst of being wild and nasty is almost funny to me. I enjoy pornography in various formats. While I have enjoyed some videos where the actors wore gloves and condoms, I can't say the practices added any value to my enjoyment. They're inclusion was almost inconsequential.

In fantasy, I suspend the practical, safe, and responsible. Slightly embarrassed to say that I'm not interested in safe sex porn, but not embarrassed enough to ask how others feel about the topic.

What are your views? Do you want erotic writers to acknowledge that characters get tested before getting freaky? Are you turned off by a guy switching orfices without slipping on a condom or washing his dick before entering another hole?

Peace,

daughter

 

[SimplySouthern]

IMO, in your fantasy life, safe sex is unnecessary. When you fantasize, is it about men who are overweight and don't know "all the right moves"? For the men, is it about women who are slightly overweight, small breasted and lacking some of the experience you would like?

Of course not, when we dream/fantasize, everything is perfect. I've been going down on Angelina jolie for WEEKS now, and she has loved every minute of it.

Did I stop to ask her if she and Billy Bob have been tested and if they are monogamous to one another? Well, let's just say I don't talk with my mouth full.

 

[lobito]

personally, I've only read very few stories that involved safe sex, but I can't say that I think all the time either of whether or not the participants are being safe.

It's fantasy, nothing more, nothing less. The only exception of course may be if it's a true story about being promiscuious, and not caring if they were spreading disease or not.

Porn as in movies, are a different subject. If they use protection, then good for them, if they don't, then it's their lives they're messing with, not mine.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

I have never thought of that ...

I guess when your reading or even watching you don't expect the sex to be safe because its all fantasy...

But in RL it demand the safety of all... So I guess for some people to be safe goes into their writeing and there porn..

 

[ksmybuttons]

Safe Sex?

It really depends on how I am reading the story. I enjoy reading gangbang but do not picture myself in the scenario. If a story pulls me into it and I am one of the characters, I don't demand a condom, but I certainly don't want someone going from my bottom to any of my other body openings. It distracts me. I certainly don't want to be distracted in the middle of a good story!

 

[morninggirl5]

I'll notice a condom and if it's written as part of the story or if the author had an "OMG, I gotta add the safe sex stuff" moment.

 

[WickedEve]

Are you turned off by a guy switching orfices without slipping on a condom or washing his dick before entering another hole?

I have to admit that when I read about a guy moving from the ass to the vagina, without washing, it does kind of make me cringe a tiny bit. Of course, you probably don't want him doing that in the middle of the story.

"Oh god! Yes! Yes, harder! Make this ass yours! Ohhhh... now the pussy! Do my pussy!"
"Hold on, babe. I'll be right back."
"Where ya going?"
"I've got to wash Mr. Winkie, first. If I don't you may get an infection, sweetheart. Just think about where he's been. If I don't wash him, then that's just gross, baby!"

I don't know... sigh. It kind of kills the mood. Though, I'm sure it can be handled properly in a story. In R/L it would have to be washed! But that's a different story.

I did once have an underage male (I'm guessing 16 or 17) email me about adult stories. First, as a mom, I freaked out. But he did ask why adults write these stories without the characters using protection. I told him that using protection was, of course, the responsible thing to do. Then I told him that erotic stories are intended for adults, and that, hopefully, the adults reading erotica were mature enough to realize that the stories are for entertainment. In most of these stories, the characters can have sex all night long with strangers and never once have to worry about aids or pregnancy.

I personally like that many erotic stories are entertaining. It's nice to occasionally become immersed in a world that doesn't have all the scary consequences to face the morning after.

 

[tigerjen]

In fantasies....whether it be books, movies, whatever....
anything goes. However, I have read a couple of stories
in the past (in Playgirl's Fantasy Forum) where the guy
does put on a condom before intercourse.

In real life.......taking percautions is necessary in these
times......I know I keep condoms handy cuz one never
knows, and its always good to "be prepared"

 

[cymbidia]

FYI, daughter, there have been a number of very interesting threads on this subject in the Author's Hangout forum in the last seven or nine months.

Since i *only* write stories that involve a bonded pair, a Dom and sub, any penile penetration is almost anticlimatic to the passion they share via the BDSM play. Safe sex is unnecessary for me to include.

I do, however, like to see safe sex done well. I don't want it to be painfully obvious or artlessly contrived, but i do want it included when one character cares about another character - especially when they are new to each other.

I like my sexual fantasy to include healthy doses of reality. (I think i may well be in a minority on that one, though.)

 

[Laurel]

Occasionally, I'll get a letter from some woman who will express bewilderment at the idea that I - another woman - would host a site featuring non-consentual sex fantasies. What kind of example are you setting? they'll demand. You can't be a woman - you must be a man. (Because, of course, all women think just like her.)

I rarely argue with them anymore because it's a waste of time, but the plain answer is: none. You don't learn to drive by watching Dukes of Hazzard reruns, you don't learn how to be a police officer by watching the Lethal Weapon series, and you shouldn't get your sexual mores from erotica/porn. it's fantasy. It's not meant to be didactic. It's meant to be cathartic.

People in general - and some women in particular - have a tough time understanding the concept of "fantasy" when it comes to sex. They can watch movies containing car crashes and murders all day long without feeling the urge to crash their car and murder someone, yet they are convinced that the mere reading of a rape story will turn the reader into a psychopathic rapist or a simpering victim. The idea that well-adjusted, healthy men and women have "perverse" fantasies involving "deviant" behaviors such as rape and incest is completely unacceptable to them (even though they themselves have no trouble vicariously enjoying action/adventure and even horror movies). They find these things disgusting; therefore, even thinking about them is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I think everyone should practice safe sex with every encounter. I think rape is morally reprehensible. I think incest is generally a bad idea - family reunions are rough as it is! But that does not mean that I think women who enjoy fantasies involving messy, unsafe gangbangs or a non-consenting tryst with their father are evil or immoral. Fantasy is NOT reality. Despite assertions to the contrary - usually put forward by intolerant, ignorant morons trying to justify the censorship of something THEY personally find offensive - people are not mindless automatons. Human beings have the capacity to think critically.

Some people are bothered by the presence/non-presence of condoms in a story. That's their right - we all have our tastes. But I don't think that authors of erotica - or any other fiction, really - have a duty to uphold a certain morality or reality.

 

[Azwed]

Anyone else think Laurel should run for congress.

I really think she should. We could all donate a little money to start off her warchest.

I mean I think she could win in the right district. Like maybe somewhere in San Fran

 

[Rubyfruit]

Safe sex practices play no part in my fantasies.

In my fantasies, I am swallowing semen. I am getting it deep in my womb, or in my ass, often from several men. In my fantasies, cum is never deposited in a sanitary condom and discarded in the bathroom wastebasket.

In my fantasies I am not licking a woman's sex through a dental dam. I am tasting her, smelling her and feeling her silky softness directly with my tongue.

I don't need erotica to teach me safe sex practices. I have to use them in my real life and that's enough for me.

 

[Laurel]

Anyone else think Laurel should run for congress.

I really think she should. We could all donate a little money to start off her warchest.

I mean I think she could win in the right district. Like maybe somewhere in San Fran

Yep, I could just see myself in DC - filibustering on the joys of sex stories, writing bills mandating a "Sex Day" for couples... My campaign slogan will be "A Vibrator In Every Drawer!"

 

[Weird Harold]

What are your views? Do you want erotic writers to acknowledge that characters get tested before getting freaky? Are you turned off by a guy switching orfices without slipping on a condom or washing his dick before entering another hole?

It may sound like a cop-out, but it depends on the context and the story.

If a husband sets up a gang-bang for his wife, it wouldn't dertract from the story for him to stand by and install condoms on each man before they take his wife.

On the other hand, a woman who goes into a seedy bar, gets drunk before taking on the whole bar and everyone they can call in to help shouldn't be surprised if there aren't enough condoms to go around. It would detract from the story for me if there were enough condoms although it wouldn't bother me one way or the other if there were a few used.

If you're writing a story that focuses on the wild and risky side of sexualaity, then safe sex should NOT be high on your list of erotic things to include. Write about a tender first time with a nervous virgin, and worries about pregnancy and disease would fit right into the context seamlessly.

Another point to consider is whether you're detailing every twitch and touch. If you're writing every little detail then safe sex and the details of opening and installing a condom would be appropriate. If you write descriptions with broad stokes, then stopping to add niggling details like safe sex practices destroys the mood you want to create.

I may sound like a cop-out, but it's really the only possible answer -- If safe sex fits the needs of the story, then it should be there. Otherwise, it should be glossed over.

 

[daughter]

Thanks, Cymbidia

Not surprised the topic has been discussed in Author's Hangout. It seems that cossover isn't big here so I posted the question here where folks might be readers but not writers.

Again, I've enjoyed the replies. I'm with Weird Harold. If including the safe sex fits, I enjoy it. Also see Laurel's view. I enjoy perverse, deviant behavior in fanstasy. That's a great part of the enjoyment--it's fantasy. In real life, I'm an ardent monogamist. Bet your buns I'm into safe sex. I wouldn't ever participate in a gangbang. And I certainly wouldn't like being forced in real life. But, my libidio does respond to that kind of stimulation when it's fantasy.

Thanks for participating, folks.

Peace,

daughter

p.s. Cymbidia, I really appreciate you providing links and fyi's. I'm slow to research, but I love knowing there are references I can check out when I want to know more. I happen to read things like reference books for entertainment.

 

[GuyJD]

I, for one, have gotten quite a bit of complaints about my latest story, "Pink Slip", because the woman insisted using a condom during the sex but later gave in without. The truth is, in real life, we should always practice safe sex. But fantasy is just that, fantasy.

The story that inspired me to write erotica was "The Obsession" by V. Vidal. To my surprise, the sequel to the story depicts several sex acts. At one point, the guy stops foreplay to place a condom on but then have sex again without one. I thought that the temporary safe sex was useless in the story.