Sad, Sad, News

[UnderMyKilt]

I've just learned that the guy who turned me out, and turned me on, to my own bisexuality (over 30 years ago) has been arrested for allegedly molesting several of his music students. This is the man who is the main character, along with myself, in my stories.

I'm sick about it. To this day I still have feelings for this guy and hate to see that he has destroyed his life.

As a former police supervisor, I still have connections and from the reports I have read there is no doubt as to his guilt. The reports almost read like "our story" in that they reflect some of the things we used to do together when we were young teens, adolescents, and young adults. He seems to have seduced these young men in the same manner that he seduced me when we were both young. It seems that he just never grew out of his attraction for YOUNG men. Giving him the slightest benefit of the doubt, and not intending to justify his actions IN ANY WAY, I do have to say that he always seemed to have a bit of the "Peter Pan" syndrome and, in his eyes, he probably continued to see himself as just a "boy" messing around with other "boys".

I had just recently learned how to contact him and intended to go see him soon just to visit and to perhaps see if any of the old spark was there. It's a good thing I didn't as he had apprently been under suspicion, and under surveillance, for sometime. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be implicated, or connected, to this mess in any way.

He has ruined his life in that he will probably do prison time, will have to register as a sex offender, and as he made his living as as a music teacher and performer, will lose his livelihood. No parent will ever let him teach their child again and he will have a hard time finding "gigs" due to the "gay molester" stigma that has now been attached to him.

Excperpts of the news article, with personal information redacted, are attached.

Teacher charged with molestation

A popular ***** musician and private teacher will be arraigned Oct. 8 on five counts of molesting two of his students, **** police reported.
******, 48, a former long-time member of the *****Symphony Orchestra, a member of several local jazz groups, and a piano and percussion teacher posted $125,000 bail after his arrest on Sept. 23.

The charges of lewd touching are based on reports by a 13-year-old boy and a 19-year-old boy, police said.

The younger boy alleged **** improperly touched him during the summer of 2003, police said. He first reported the allegations in February to a law enforcement agency outside of **** County. No charges were filed at the time because there was no physical evidence or other substantial form of corroboration, Detective **** said. The older boy, who lives out of ****, reported his allegations in June, saying that the touching took place in 1996 and 1997 when he was about 11 or 12 years old, police said. Police would not identify the cities or counties where the boys live in order to protect their identity, **** said.

**** has denied any inappropriate touching, police said. A resume for **** on his own Web site says he has been a pianist for **** Church ****since 1991, a pianist for **** Country Club for three years and a piano accompanist for **** High School Choirs for one year.

 

[geishaGirl]

Well, this is certainly some tough information for you to deal with!

I guess that it is hard to be sure on whether you were his first "victim" all those years ago or not. He is obviously someone that you are grateful towards and therefore you sound like you have admired him and even "idolised" him (?)

All I feel comfortable saying is I hope you feel better soon...and still see that he did teach you something about yourself.

 

[Shaft]

While it's nice to know what swell times you had getting molested, it seems others didn't share your happy experience.

I wonder how many lives were ruined because you kept your 'love' a secret...

 

[UnderMyKilt]

Shaft. Your comments are way off base, out of line, insensitive, and uncalled for. You would have to know the facts before you could comment, or worse yet, presume to judge or condemn.

HOW DARE YOU !!

I was an adolescent. He was an adolescent. We both had rutting hormones and this was youthful sexual experimentation. I had already the sexual satisfaction I achieved from anal stimulation, via my own anal masturbation, long before he and I ever became intimate. There was no "molestation" back then.

 

[Regis2001]

Dude.

First, calm down.

Second, you're right, of course. Nobody even remotely reasonable would argue with you about that.

Thirdly, while the statement the guy made was undoubtedly crass and unpleasant, ranting ain't gonna do any good. Most people here understand (or at least sympathise with) your situation, and those who don't are likely to be so pig-headed that no amount of persuasion will succeed. To summarise, don't get upset. He/She/It isn't worth it.

 

[Etoile]

Shaft. Your comments are way off base, out of line, insensitive, and uncalled for. You would have to know the facts before you could comment, or worse yet, presume to judge or condemn.

HOW DARE YOU !!

Shaft is a troll, UMK. Just ignore it.

 

[UnderMyKilt]

Shaft is a troll, UMK. Just ignore it.

Thanks Etoile. After reviewing a multitude of Shaft's posts, I came to the same conclusion.

He, she, it, just seems to post little one liners, with no depth, no content, and certainly no thought.

Had I known previously, what I know now, my response might not have been so visceral (emphasis on MIGHT)

UMK

 

[John Doe]

Eh?

 

[wild175133]

I think you could say this is the dark side of the alternative life style. It is one thing for kids and young adults to experiment it is quite another for an older adult to prey on kids for his/her own sexual and emotional gratification.

As for your friend if he is found guilty he should be punished to the fullest extent of the law and the punishment should be a way public one for both justice from a societies sake in making him pay for his crimes and also to server as a deterence to keep others like him to commit the same type of crime such as his.

As for where our sympothy amd compasion as a society should lie. It should go out to his victims while his prison sentence may one day end and he may get back into society to start rebuilding his life. The emotional scars he left on his victims may never heal in that they may never be able to form a lasting and fullfilling relationship with anyone for the rest of their lives. At the extreme worst they may turn in to sexual preditors like the one who victimized them.

While shafts anger in this situation is horrindiosly misdirect at teh origiator of the string, we must realize in this matter he is justified for being as angry as he is about what happened.

Time to get off my soap box now thank you for your time and patience in this matter

 

[Mary Hall]

Anyone who abuses kids needs to die horrible ways, they don`t deserve pity or our sympathy

 

[69forever]

I've just learned that the guy who turned me out, and turned me on, to my own bisexuality (over 30 years ago) has been arrested for allegedly molesting several of his music students. This is the man who is the main character, along with myself, in my stories.

I'm sick about it. To this day I still have feelings for this guy and hate to see that he has destroyed his life.

As a former police supervisor, I still have connections and from the reports I have read there is no doubt as to his guilt. The reports almost read like "our story" in that they reflect some of the things we used to do together when we were young teens, adolescents, and young adults. He seems to have seduced these young men in the same manner that he seduced me when we were both young. It seems that he just never grew out of his attraction for YOUNG men. Giving him the slightest benefit of the doubt, and not intending to justify his actions, I do have to say that he always seemed to have a bit of the "Peter Pan" syndrome and, in his eyes, he probably continued to see himself as just a "boy" messing around with other "boys".

I had just recently learned how to contact him and intended to go see him soon just to visit and to perhaps see if any of the old spark was there. It's a good thing I didn't as he had apprently been under suspicion, and under surveillance, for sometime. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be implicated, or connected, to this mess in any way.

He has ruined his life in that he will probably do prison time, will have to register as a sex offender, and as he made his living as as a music teacher and performer, will lose his livelihood. No parent will ever let him teach their child again and he will have a hard time finding "gigs" due to the "gay molester" stigma that has now been attached to him.

I'm really conflicted in how I feel about this as, at times, I feel that I was perhaps his first "victim" some 30 years ago while, at other times, I'm grateful to him for teaching me another kind of "love."

Excperpts of the news article, with personal information redacted, are attached.

Teacher charged with molestation

A popular ***** musician and private teacher will be arraigned Oct. 8 on five counts of molesting two of his students, **** police reported.
******, 48, a former long-time member of the *****Symphony Orchestra, a member of several local jazz groups, and a piano and percussion teacher posted $125,000 bail after his arrest on Sept. 23.

The charges of lewd touching are based on reports by a 13-year-old boy and a 19-year-old boy, police said.

The younger boy alleged **** improperly touched him during the summer of 2003, police said. He first reported the allegations in February to a law enforcement agency outside of **** County. No charges were filed at the time because there was no physical evidence or other substantial form of corroboration, Detective **** said. The older boy, who lives out of ****, reported his allegations in June, saying that the touching took place in 1996 and 1997 when he was about 11 or 12 years old, police said. Police would not identify the cities or counties where the boys live in order to protect their identity, **** said.

**** has denied any inappropriate touching, police said. A resume for **** on his own Web site says he has been a pianist for **** Church ****since 1991, a pianist for **** Country Club for three years and a piano accompanist for **** High School Choirs for one year.

~sighs~ It is one thing to mutually explore your sexuality with someone within your own age range, tender as that might be.

It is completely and totally inappropriate to use a position of authority, being an elder to engage in sexual gratification with a minor. It happened to my daughter years ago....I cannot abide with such behavior.

IF the allegations are correct....he deserves at least what he gets. I'd make it more. There is no question of consent from a 13 year old.....it doesn't exist.

I am sorry he chose to ruin his life...and maybe others as well.

 

[Regis2001]

I find it interesting that the responses on this thread damning the criminal in question make a lot of the fact that is specifically child molesting. Take for example this quote:

Anyone who abuses kids needs to die in horrible ways, they don`t deserve pity or our sympathy.

First let me say that I do not condone child abuse, nor do I believe that it is a minor offence - it is a serious crime, and must be punished accordingly. However, I do wonder that it strikes a nerve in people's minds. In Britain a few years ago a newspaper published a list of alleged paedophiles as part of a campaign of 'naming and shaming', which led to mobs in the streets beseiging the houses of people who had nothing more than a vaguely similar name. While discussing law and order with a group of otherwise liberal and well-meaning friends, I was shocked when they related an apocryphal tale of grotesque tortures carried out on a child molester, and expressed their whole-hearted support for such actions. Why? Why are one group of sex offenders singled out for such vitriolic hatred, when there are many more whose crimes could be said to be just as bad. Yes, paedophiles prey on the young and vulnerable. Rapists prey on the vulnerable. There was a man who was convicted of raping an eighty year old woman within the last year or so, and there was none of the same outcry against that. If you compare the reasctions of people to a man who raped and murdered a dozen women and to a man who molested one child, the difference is exponential. Both are horrific crimes, but why is one so much worse than the other?

As far as I can tell, it seems to be a twisted form of the parenting instinct. Why twisted? Because instead of the protective instinct that leads us to defend the child, it turns into an aggressive instinct that drives us to harm the person who harmed them. Once again, such crimes must be punished, but it is inappropriate to feel anger where sympathy is most needed. Don't waste time with hatred for the criminal where love for their victim would be better used.

69forever, I applaud you for a well-measured response. But wild175133 - what was that about alternative lifestyles? And while you do plead for compassion for the victims, your pleas seem dangerously focussed on the crime rather than on the recovery. The overt pessimism of such thinking merely encourages people to divert their thinking from the recovery of the victims to revenge against the criminal.

Once again, I do not condone child abuse, and believe that paedophiles must be punished. I just don't believe that getting angry about it does anyone any good.

 

[Etoile]

Anyone who abuses kids needs to die horrible ways, they don`t deserve pity or our sympathy

Funny you should say that, today I learned about the case of Lisa Steinberg, the little girl who was beaten to death in NYC in the mid-80s. I'm reading her birth mother's book now.

 

[incubus'_sub]

That's a shocking case Etoile. Did you know that they've just let "Daddy" out of gaol (jail) ?

 

[Etoile]

That's a shocking case Etoile. Did you know that they've just let "Daddy" out of gaol (jail) ?

Oh my god, really? I was looking at the story on CrimeLibrary.com and they only had updates as recently as 2002. I will have to check news websites to see what happened. Thank you for telling me.

What a truly horrible story...that poor girl, her poor mother, her mother's poor mother, the "adoptive father" wife (he abused her too)... all in a part of NYC I visit frequently.

 

[Etoile]

Oh, now this is creepy:
http://www.newyorkblade.com/2004/10-29/locallife/main/UNDEAD.CFM

Apparently 22 people have died at 14 West 10th Street, the house where the little girl was beaten to death. That's a lot of people. Mark Twain lived there briefly in 1900 so it is referred to as the Mark Twain House. I will have to walk by the next time I am up there.

The New York Blade is a gay paper for the city, too...the house is right in the gay area of the West Village.

 

[abbey_kyle]

Etoile, check out a book by Daphne Merkin called "Dreaming of Hitler" If you are reading about the Steinberg case, you will be interested in her essay on the subject in this anthology. It is nestled in a section on BDSM with other essays I am sure will be of interest to you.

 

[incubus'_sub]

You're right, that's a lot of people, maybe there's a demon in the house ??

I'm fairly sure I read about the guy's release on the news section of crimelibrary (one of my fav sites), then went back to read the archives about the case.

Are you following the Peterson trial as well? In the interests of thread integrity, I suppose poor little Conner Peterson was an abused child too.

 

[Etoile]

Etoile, check out a book by Daphne Merkin called "Dreaming of Hitler" If you are reading about the Steinberg case, you will be interested in her essay on the subject in this anthology. It is nestled in a section on BDSM with other essays I am sure will be of interest to you.

Ah, thank you for the recommendation! I will see if my library has it. I feel vaguely morbid having an interest in this stuff. :\

 

[Etoile]

Are you following the Peterson trial as well? In the interests of thread integrity, I suppose poor little Conner Peterson was an abused child too.

I haven't been following it too much. I'm not sure if he could qualify as an abused child, though...he was still in utero. Then again, they are trying to decide if violence against pregnant women counts as one murder or two, so maybe it does count as child abuse.

 

[UnderMyKilt]

Re: Re: Sad, Sad, News

....and ruin his life he did.

An update on the case. The district attorney filed eight counts against him. Seven counts of (Calif Penal Code Sections) PC 288(A) LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS W/CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS. One count of PC 288(C)(1) LEWD & LASCIVIOUS ACT W/CHILD 14/15: DEFENDANT 10 YRS OLDER THAN VICTIM.

He pled NO CONTEST to one count of PC 288(A) and other charges were "Dismissed in the furtherance of justice." Quite a plea bargain but then it spares the victims the trauma of testifying in court. Sadly, it also reflects the fact that he is well connected in the community. Since the initial charges were filed, three more victims have come forward but there is no word as to whether or not the DA is going to file or, again, dismiss them also in the "furtherance of justice." Sentencing is set for mid-January.

Sentencing guidelines state that the defendant SHALL be sentenced to 3,6, or 8 years. He can also be fined $10,000. This could have been per count, and could have been either concurrent or consecutive, but thats all moot due to the plea bargain. He will also have to register as a sex offender no doubt with the stipulation that he no longer be allowed to teach, or even be alone in the presence of, minor children.

In any event, he shall not have an easy time of it in state prison and, as he is a rather effiminate person, of slight build, he will easily become prey for other convicts.

As I intially said, and others reinforced, he has made a mess of his life, his families life, and the lives of his victims. As a former cop, and a parent, you would think I would wish only misery upon him but, because of my history with him, and my compassion, I have to pray that he survives his incarceration and comes out changed on the other end.

On edit: Further update. He was sentenced to six years in Dec of 2004. He had served 60 days of that "pre-sentencing" and received nine days of "Good Time Credits". As is common, he served half of his time less his pre-sentencing time and good time credits, and was releasd on parole in August of 2007. At some point, and I haven't been able to find out why or how, he violated the terms of his probation and was returned to state prison to serve out the remainder of his term on 11/30/2007.

He was subsequently released in 2010 to a "halfway house" where he lived for two years with other convicted felons some of them molesters too,as well. Per the Megan's Law website, he now lives at an address that I recognize as his (deceased) parent's home. It's my belief that his siblings either gave him the home, or are allowing him to live there, since he lost everything through the course of incarceration, paying victim restitution, and in at least one lawsuit filed by a victim.

In the image on the Megan's Law website he looks like hell. We're barely a year apart in age and he looks ten years older. Six years in state prison and living in a seedy halfway house for two weren't kind to him.

 

[Etoile]

Re: Re: Re: Sad, Sad, News

PC 288(C)(1) LEWD & LASCIVIOUS ACT W/CHILD 14/15: DEFENDANT 10 YRS OLDER THAN VICTIM.
...

other charges were "Dismissed in the furtherance of justice."

Wow, the legal system works in funny ways. I didn't realize that it's okay (?) for 14 and 15 year olds to have sex with 23 year olds. And that's sure a funny word for plea bargain, though I guess I get it.

Is it worth noting that none of the charges seem to note sexuality? That is, I assume the charges are the same whether the victim and perpetrator are of the same or different genders?

 

[Slut_loves_pain]

UMK

I'm sad to hear that.
I have this year (unsuccessfully lack of evidence uh huh riiight) laid complaints about quite a long list of people who victimized me over the last 21 years. I got 2, out of 8. Both of them the police cant find tho so no action yet.
However, as someone who's been there done that, I'm glad he was caught.
But also, it made me think, if I was in your boat, if one of my previous lovers, say my first girlfriend who turned me on to women was found to have molested kids, how would I feel??
Devastated.
It must be a hard thing to have to deal with. It sounds like you trust that your memory of your relationship was good and consentual and that must be a help.
Take care of you

 

[UnderMyKilt]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Sad, Sad, News

Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete

 

[UnderMyKilt]

Re: UMK

Please delete the thread. I don't want it floating around anymore.