Rules

G

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Rules Men Wish Women Knew
1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don't make us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
8. Dogs are better than cats.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
15. Your brother is an idiot.
16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
18. Share the bathroom
19. Share the closet.
20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
29. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
30. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
35. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. Don't make 50 rules when 36 will do.
 
Rules Women Wish Men Knew

1. The Female always makes The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)

7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)

8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
 
Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

ProofreadManx said:
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

17a. If she is post-menstrual, all The Rules are null and void.

17b. If she is menstrual, all The Rules are null and void.

Basically, you've got 2 days where they're applicable. Use them wisely.
 
Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

Nora said:


17a. If she is post-menstrual, all The Rules are null and void.

17b. If she is menstrual, all The Rules are null and void.

Basically, you've got 2 days where they're applicable. Use them wisely.
________





Yes ma'am.
 
Re: Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

ProofreadManx said:
Yes ma'am.

Good boy *smiles*

(I am old, so it doesn't bother me)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

Nora said:


Good boy *smiles*

(I am old, so it doesn't bother me)
_________


*Sigh*

Nora, I like that 'boy' talk...
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

ProofreadManx said:

_________


*Sigh*

Nora, I like that 'boy' talk...

Oh yeah? *grin* As in, "Boy, fetch me that pitcher?"
 
Purrde Flower said:
Not really. It shows respect for womankind if a man who is flirting with you says it :D
_________

That's what I was taught...







in 1st Grade.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

Nora said:

(I am old, so it doesn't bother me)
80 is old.
60 is middle aged.
40 isn't either of those, no matter what a baby of 21 thinks.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

LukkyKnight said:
80 is old.
60 is middle aged.
40 isn't either of those, no matter what a baby of 21 thinks.

What's 32?
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules Women Wish Men Knew

Nora said:


Oh yeah? *grin* As in, "Boy, fetch me that pitcher?"
_______

I was thinking more along the lines of,

"Boy, lick this clit!"

or

"Boy, fuck me."
 
Jeez, how come the guys get so many more rules than the ladies?



Good evening, Manxy:rose:
 
weed said:
Jeez, how come the guys get so many more rules than the ladies?



Good evening, Manxy:rose:
______

Hello Weed... :heart:

Nice to see you hon.


Pssst..

Guys need twice as many rules as women.

That's the rule (New #37).
 
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