Rude-ish?

[flavortang]

So, I went to an IHOP last week, around 9-9:30 in the morning. I got seated right away and a few minutes later this young waitress with dark blonde hair walks up, smiles, and says "You smell nice!".

Now, being married for five years and with my wife for eight, I don't compliment other women nor do I go out enough where I'm around young women to get complimented. I heard her say this and replied with "Yeah, I think I'll have the chicken fried steak platter." She took my order, then left, and I realized how dick-ish I probably came off. In my defense, my brain convinced there was no way she said what she said, so just to order the fucking food. I felt bad and tipped her $10 for an $8 meal. lol

Also, a few times a month at the most, I go to the bank and there's a female teller there that always greets me by my first name the second I walk in the door. She's only served me a few times and we only chit-chatted once and I don't see the other tellers greet people this way. Dealing with dozens of people everyday, I don't get how the hell she remembers my name. I feel bad that when she gives these greetings, all I muster is a "Hey, what's up?" and it's straight to business. Maybe I'm so jaded with humanity that I can't imagine people are being nice for any reason other than it's some business tactic.

Rude-ish? Clinical paranoia? Maybe both.

 

[tickledkitty]

Hmmm. Maybe a teensy bit paranoid. You could've just said thanks to the waitress and ordered your food. Sometimes people blurt out off-the-cuff remarks without thinking. She only said you smelled good. It's not like she said "nice ass" or something. Even if she was flirting a bit, you can be nice without responding in kind.

I go to my bank twice a month, and a few of the tellers know me by name, and I don't even go in. There's a teller at my husband's bank who knows me by name as well, and I rarely ever go there. Who knows why you make an impression on some people.

Lighten up, Flave!

 

[cloudy]

not "rude-ish," RUDE.

People that work in those jobs take shit from people all day, yet they manage to make the effort to smile, remember your name, take the time to compliment you, and that's the best you can do? They're not hitting on you, they don't have the time (why the hell would you think that, anyway?), they're being polite, and doing something called "good customer service."

Your social skills are lacking, to say the least.

 

[flavortang]

Hmmm. Maybe a teensy bit paranoid. You could've just said thanks to the waitress and ordered your food. Sometimes people blurt out off-the-cuff remarks without thinking. She only said you smelled good. It's not like she said "nice ass" or something. Even if she was flirting a bit, you can be nice without responding in kind.

I go to my bank twice a month, and a few of the tellers know me by name, and I don't even go in. There's a teller at my husband's bank who knows me by name as well, and I rarely ever go there. Who knows why you make an impression on some people.

Lighten up, Flave!

It's not like I told the girl to go fuck herself, lol. I guess I don't want to know the reasons why some people say the things they do. I mean, I was polite, I smiled to the waitress, said thanks a million times like I always do, I just don't take compliments well. I'm figuring that they teach the girls to do that stuff to reel in more customers.

 

[cloudy]

It's not like I told the girl to go fuck herself, lol. I guess I don't want to know the reasons why some people say the things they do. I mean, I was polite, I smiled to the waitress, said thanks a million times like I always do, I just don't take compliments well. I'm figuring that they teach the girls to do that stuff to reel in more customers.

No, they don't.

 

[tickledkitty]

It's not like I told the girl to go fuck herself, lol. I guess I don't want to know the reasons why some people say the things they do. I mean, I was polite, I smiled to the waitress, said thanks a million times like I always do, I just don't take compliments well. I'm figuring that they teach the girls to do that stuff to reel in more customers.

What?? No they don't. That's even more paranoia on your part. You don't need to know why she said it. She probably doesn't know why she said it. Who cares?

 

[flavortang]

What?? No they don't. That's even more paranoia on your part. You don't need to know why she said it. She probably doesn't know why she said it. Who cares?

Hey, I'm trying to ratchet up my useless thread count. Don't question my motives! lol

I may be suspicious of young women in the service industry because I had a crush on a girl that worked a register at a Carl's Jr when I was 18. I went in everyday for almost a month and we chatted and flirted. I found out it was her birthday one day and had flowers delivered to her work while I was there having lunch. She gave me a hug and thanked me emphatically for the flowers. She thanked me by posing the question of how she was going to hide them from her boyfriend. lol *dagger, meet heart*

Yeah, she never mentioned the guy.

 

[adventureseekr]

Your social skills are lacking, to say the least.

Leading by example ? Goodness, give the guy something to work-with !!

FT:

Being 'discourteous' is basically-rude. So .. if you feel you are offering LESS courtesy than you are given by others -- you have room to improve. If you are up-to-it ... give back MORE !!

It might just rub-off on others ......

 

[flavortang]

Leading by example ? Goodness, give the guy something to work-with !!

FT:

Being 'discourteous' is basically-rude. So .. if you feel you are offering LESS courtesy than you are given by others -- you have room to improve. If you are up-to-it ... give back MORE !!

It might just rub-off on others ......

Don't get me wrong, I'm courteous, polite and talky wherever I go, I just don't pay much attention to young women potentially being flirty, or whatever. Could be a lot of reasons: self-esteem issues on my part, not wanting to flirt back in fear something might come of it. I don't know.

I always find some reason to think I'm not being complimented.

 

[tickledkitty]

Hey, I'm trying to ratchet up my useless thread count. Don't question my motives! lol

I may be suspicious of young women in the service industry because I had a crush on a girl that worked a register at a Carl's Jr when I was 18. I went in everyday for almost a month and we chatted and flirted. I found out it was her birthday one day and had flowers delivered to her work while I was there having lunch. She gave me a hug and thanked me emphatically for the flowers. She thanked me by posing the question of how she was going to hide them from her boyfriend. lol *dagger, meet heart*

Yeah, she never mentioned the guy.

Yeah, that makes sense. Because you had a bad experience with one woman, that means they're all out to get you.

 

[flavortang]

Yeah, that makes sense. Because you had a bad experience with one woman, that means they're all out to get you.

So, you know about the conspiracy....

 

[cloudy]

Leading by example ? Goodness, give the guy something to work-with

there's a history...I know for a fact he's beyond rude, so I owe him nothing. It's unwise for you to step into a situation you know zilch about, and pronounce judgement. Just a word to the wise.

 

[adventureseekr]

I just don't pay much attention to young women potentially being flirty...

I suggest you not read 87% of the threads submitted to Lit ... by people who happen-to-be female.

Good luck.

 

[adventureseekr]

there's a history...I know for a fact he's beyond rude, so I owe him nothing. It's unwise for you to step into a situation you know zilch about, and pronounce judgement. Just a word to the wise.

I have-no history, right -- but I think I am getting the picture, thanks.

 

[flavortang]

I suggest you not read 87% of the threads submitted to Lit ... by people who happen-to-be female.

Good luck.

lol Thanks.

 

[SensualCealy]

Hey Flave,

I think you more than made up for the slip. Just make sure when you come in next time and you are seated in her section, smile and say a big thanks when she states how delicious you smell!

I almost always will comment to a guy, so long as he isn't with a lady, that he smells good. I don't think guys get honest comments as often as men hand out "hot ass", or "nice rack" to women.

Who knows, maybe a nice comment to a guy will encourage him to keep up the good work for his lady!

JMO,
C

 

[SeaCat]

LOLOLOL

Oh gods this is too rich.

This morning my wife and I dragged our asses out of bed and after showering went down to a local diner.

I'm more than a bit cranky first thing in the morning. You don't want to be near me. We walked in, waited to be seated and were guided to our place. The waitress didn't bother saying anything, she just placed a cup of coffee in front of each of us along with the menu before walking off.

When she came back she had a pot of coffee in her hands. She refilled our cups before asking what we wanted. I didn't bother trying to say anything, I just pointed. I ordered their truckers special. (Two Eggs, Three thick slices of Bacon, Corned Beef Hash, Sausage, A bisquit with Country Gravy and a bottomless cup of coffee.)

She delivered it and must have been telepathic. She also carried along a bottle of Hot Sauce. A little Salt, a little Pepper and a lot of Hot Sauce and I started in. Whenever my coffee cup dropped below half full she came by and refilled it, never saying a word.

By the time I had worked my way through the platter of food I was awake and resembled something human. When she carried over the check my wife looked at her and asked how she knew not to try to speak to me. She looked at my wife and answered quietly.

"Honey, I been married for thirty years now and I learned a long time ago not to bother trying to talk to him before he's had his fill first thing."

Well that sealed it. The check came to $15.00. I left $30.00 on the table. Any waitress that smart has earned it.

Cat

 

[flavortang]

Hey Flave,

I think you more than made up for the slip. Just make sure when you come in next time and you are seated in her section, smile and say a big thanks when she states how delicious you smell!

I almost always will comment to a guy, so long as he isn't with a lady, that he smells good. I don't think guys get honest comments as often as men hand out "hot ass", or "nice rack" to women.

Who knows, maybe a nice comment to a guy will encourage him to keep up the good work for his lady!

JMO,
C

LOL Thanks, Cealy. I've never been one to make passes at women, even when my wife isn't around. I used to be the flirtatious type and have since reeled myself in. Although, one time, I did pick up a girl I was seeing, gave her a big hug and told her that she looked so petite and cute that I wanted to give her a piggyback ride so it looked like I had a cute backpack on.

 

[DeeZire]

Just to add to your paranoia, could the 'smell nice' comment have been sarcastic? Some guys wear so much cologne, it's like walking past a chemical waste site. Same with women. What smells nice to one person can smell horrid to another, which is why having no smell whatsoever is a good way to go, especially in the workplace. (This is where the vegans chime in, explaining the odor-benefits of not eating meat.)
Personally, I like it when women smell like women, (not perfume) but that's for another thread.

 

[tickledkitty]

Just to add to your paranoia, could the 'smell nice' comment have been sarcastic? Some guys wear so much cologne, it's like walking past a chemical waste site. Same with women. What smells nice to one person can smell horrid to another, which is why having no smell whatsoever is a good way to go, especially in the workplace. (This is where the vegans chime in, explaining the odor-benefits of not eating meat.)
Personally, I like it when women smell like women, (not perfume) but that's for another thread.

Good point. A friend of my calls it "floating in clouds of testosterone."

 

[Guest]

LOLOLOL

Oh gods this is too rich.

This morning my wife and I dragged our asses out of bed and after showering went down to a local diner.

I'm more than a bit cranky first thing in the morning. You don't want to be near me. We walked in, waited to be seated and were guided to our place. The waitress didn't bother saying anything, she just placed a cup of coffee in front of each of us along with the menu before walking off.

When she came back she had a pot of coffee in her hands. She refilled our cups before asking what we wanted. I didn't bother trying to say anything, I just pointed. I ordered their truckers special. (Two Eggs, Three thick slices of Bacon, Corned Beef Hash, Sausage, A bisquit with Country Gravy and a bottomless cup of coffee.)

She delivered it and must have been telepathic. She also carried along a bottle of Hot Sauce. A little Salt, a little Pepper and a lot of Hot Sauce and I started in. Whenever my coffee cup dropped below half full she came by and refilled it, never saying a word.

By the time I had worked my way through the platter of food I was awake and resembled something human. When she carried over the check my wife looked at her and asked how she knew not to try to speak to me. She looked at my wife and answered quietly.

"Honey, I been married for thirty years now and I learned a long time ago not to bother trying to talk to him before he's had his fill first thing."

Well that sealed it. The check came to $15.00. I left $30.00 on the table. Any waitress that smart has earned it.

Cat

Where were you when I was waiting tables, Cat?

 

[Guest]

I think, flavortang, you're reading too much into everything.

As several folks have said, it isn't always about you.

Give them a break, the gals who deal with the public all day - they're just trying to be nice. Maybe they ARE nice, and this is just the manner in which they do their job.

A big tip makes up for any rudeness, of course.

 

[flavortang]

I think, flavortang, you're reading too much into everything.

As several folks have said, it isn't always about you.

Give them a break, the gals who deal with the public all day - they're just trying to be nice. Maybe they ARE nice, and this is just the manner in which they do their job.

A big tip makes up for any rudeness, of course.

Give them a break? lol I wasn't doing anything intentionally bad. My point was that I deal with people in the service industry all the time and when one does stuff uncharacteristic of the rest, I wonder why. I don't sit and ponder on it, I just wonder.

In fact, it'd be great if any compliments were actually genuine and not canned, not that I care either way. I treat all service people with respect and always tip more than I need to.

 

[Guest]

Give them a break? lol I wasn't doing anything intentionally bad. My point was that I deal with people in the service industry all the time and when one does stuff uncharacteristic of the rest, I wonder why. I don't sit and ponder on it, I just wonder.

In fact, it'd be great if any compliments were actually genuine and not canned, not that I care either way. I treat all service people with respect and always tip more than I need to.

Money always talks.

But courtesy is good, too.

Good on you, then.

 

[flavortang]

Money always talks.

But courtesy is good, too.

Good on you, then.

My tip was more than the food. lol