Romance

[HottieMama]

I travelled to see my Sir on Monday. I was fine when I left the house. I spent 3 and a half hours on trains and an hour crossing London on the tube in between. By the time I got to him (dragging my case in heeled boots, stockings, suspenders and a short skirt no less) I had a sore throat. We went for a meal in one of out favourite restaurants and had a wonderful night together.

Then I woke up with the mother of all sore throats, a blocked nose and a screaming headache.

I did not leave his bed tuesday or wednesday except to use the bathroom (which he cleaned for me beforehand cause he's not much of a homemaker and it was a little gross. 3 guys sharing 1 bathroom He cooked for us and made me hot drinks and generally fussed around me while I lay in bed surrounded with paracetamol and tissues. Not the way I was planning to spend my time with him. I got lots of hugs and kisses even though I was a snotty mess. Then, this morning, just when I'm feeling a little better and he's starting to feel like shit with the same thing, I have to travel home, as planned. I feel so bad that I can't fuss over him too. You know what he said?

"I look forward to every second I spend with you and if I can be there to take care of you, fine. I don't care if you're snotty and sick or not. You're always gorgeous to me."

Isn't he just fucking wonderful?

*swoons*

That's wonderful... you've got a good one.

 

[Netzach]

All of the men in my life are much better at those thoughtful little things. Doors held and chairs pulled and coffee fetched are mandatory - I think my identity as a Domme is partly a recognition that those things are *no brainers* whether PC and current or not, and I want them out of life and out of my relationships.

When with girls, I like to be the butch, usually. Femme on the streets, butch in the sheets is me. I like to walk near the cars and open the door and pay for the date and whatnot.

 

[shy slave]

very good thread and has made me think..lol. Master does Open doors for me when we are going in somewhere, but not so much when i'm getting out of my car, which i'm glad for because i find it annoying..LOL i'm a big girl, i can open my own car door, and i HATE waiting to get out of the car.

Thank you. I agree with you on the car door thing. I hate that, makes me think I am the Queen or something

Hmmm, I think it depends on the people and relationship most times. Sometimes it can be the traditional type things like chocolate, flowers, opening doors, othjer times it might be doing something houseworky or errand like when you know your partner is totally pooped and can't muster the energy or motivation to do it themselves.

This seems to be a common theme in this thread.

LOL, I am biased I guess, but I have always found Latin men, dare I say Spanish men, to be the ultimate in romance.

LOL
I should have guessed this would be your answer lol.

It's romantic if it makes her girlfriends say: "Ohhh, that's sooooo sweeeet!" and makes some of your guy friends roll their eyes in mock or genuine disgust.

It's romantic if it takes effort, reflects familiarity with the recipient as an individual, involves an accurate understanding of the recipient's personal preferences, and demonstrates genuine affection, love, or interest in developing the same.

It's *not* romantic if it is expected, requested, or something commonly done.


That's my answer to your question, Shy. How the heck have you been?

A rare JM sighting

Plus the romance of puppies and teddy bears lol.

I agree with your 'not romantic' comment. Thats why he and I do not 'do' valentines day stuff. Neither of us want to feel we have to act in a particular way just because the dates decrees it.

As to how I have been, I have been fantastic
Denmark was wonderful and he made me feel special in many small ways. Not a flower or a box of chocolates in sight either lol.

How is life with you? Fun, I hope

wow- this is great, I think its that building up of tension... desire..., "the romancing", so it may be different in each moment, in fact its better if it grows and changes with the relationship... it can be a word... or touch or a picture or...

This explains it wonderfully well.
That tension is romantic and erotic all rolled into one.

When we first met and talked on the phone, he would have pauses inbetween words. This sounded so erotic on the phone, as if I was hanging on his every word (which I was) waiting for him to say the next amazing thing. I thought it was deliberate to make it more romantic and erotic. Later I discovered he was mentally searching for the right word in english.

How to define romance...
It's the way he looks at me across the breakfast table. It's his willingness to experiment and to push my limits, to make me try new things.
And, of course, the way he holds me down, the way he looks tied up, and how amazingly good he is in bed!

Hmm I agree, but how do I explain that concept of romance to a very vanilla friend??

Minx and Liberatedslave, It shows it is in the small things.
Any man willing to cope when you are sick is worth a great deal. LS, crossing London when you are sick just to be with him, is equally romantic and shows how much you want to be with him. London travel is hell.

All of the men in my life are much better at those thoughtful little things. Doors held and chairs pulled and coffee fetched are mandatory - I think my identity as a Domme is partly a recognition that those things are *no brainers* whether PC and current or not, and I want them out of life and out of my relationships.

When with girls, I like to be the butch, usually. Femme on the streets, butch in the sheets is me. I like to walk near the cars and open the door and pay for the date and whatnot.

I like that you can choose on what romantic gesture suits which partner. The best of both worlds plus the ability to choose when and who

This is my favourite line of the whole thread

Femme on the streets, butch in the sheets

Finally (for now) Callinectes, Andante saw your post and now thinks he is the most romantic man ever *sigh*
I had to point out we were talking about romance according to a vanilla friend I have,
Not romantic according to Lit. It makes no difference, I can tell that he won't let me forget this
*more sighs*

 

[satindesire]

When with girls, I like to be the butch, usually. Femme on the streets, butch in the sheets is me. I like to walk near the cars and open the door and pay for the date and whatnot.

Hermosa, you can open my car door for me anytime.

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

Despite what you see in my pic thread, I'm actually a very manly-man. Think... rugged, long-haired, tattooed, biker, born-a-150 years-too-late, blue collar guy. That said, I still consider myself a bit of a romantic. Sure, I'm often a typical man (well maybe not so typical ), and can be a pain in the ass but I do like to be romantic sometimes too.

We've been married 18+ years now and I can remember waaaaay back when we hadn't been married all that long and times were really tough for us. Valentine's was coming and we were barely making it let alone able to afford something nice for her. So, I bought a couple big packs of colored construction paper, you know like you used in grade school, and a roll each of white, red, and pink yarn.

She was at work and it was my day off. I came home and tore out all white, pink, and red sheets of paper from the packs and set about cutting out a zillion hearts of all sizes and shapes. I mean tons of them. Then I ran around and hung them from the ceiling with varying lengths of the yarn so that the whole trailer was raining hearts.

Then I made a game where she got a note with a message and an instruction or request or whatever and then move to another part of the trailer or another seat or whatever to get the next message and do what it said. I made us dinner and shared a piece of our favorite and "special" candy (it's how we met).

It remains to this day one of my fondest memories. Simple times. I've done other things like that since but that Valentine's day really stands out for me.

I also will pick up a rose for her for no reason, I ALWAYS tell her I love her, etc.

Now, if you ask her what I have done that is romantic, she would probably say ride my Harley down to her corporate headquarters on a cold winter's day and have lunch with her in the corporate deli in front of all the khaki wearing yuppie mucki-mucks who were probably wondering if I was going to steal their wallets and rape their women. She digs that stuff.

But in the end, I think romance is about thoughtfullness for no reason. Many good examples in this thread.

 

[godizpunishingme]

its the little things that count

kisses after spankings...
a pat on the ass after i get him a beer.....

sweet stuff like that

 

[WriterDom]

Doors held

No self-respecting southerner would allow a lady to open her own door.

 

[JMohegan]

A rare JM sighting

You know I love your threads, Shy.

As to how I have been, I have been fantastic
Denmark was wonderful and he made me feel special in many small ways

This makes me grin. My regards, and two thumbs up, to the Viking.

Not a flower or a box of chocolates in sight either lol.

Some cute new workout clothes, perhaps?

How is life with you? Fun, I hope

Fun indeed. Progress has been made, no doubt.

 

[Brandii]

A romantic gesture is inviting a special male friend to a home cooked dinner. You burn the first course but he eats it anyway...and then discover that as he cuts the caramel slice you made for dessert, he has to flick it to dislodge it from the knife blade... all this without quip or comment... and then, as he is leaving kisses you and tells you, "dinner was delicious."

 

[callinectes]

Finally (for now) Callinectes, Andante saw your post and now thinks he is the most romantic man ever *sigh*
I had to point out we were talking about romance according to a vanilla friend I have,
Not romantic according to Lit. It makes no difference, I can tell that he won't let me forget this
*more sighs*

So glad I could help.

 

[callinectes]

Fun indeed. Progress has been made, no doubt.

Not asking for details..but does mean you have a new love interest? If so, yay for you! If I'm off base I sure hope my Jedi mind powers will erase this post from your memory.

 

[the captians wench]

humm...romance eh

unexpected notes, ims, and text really do it for me. When I come home and see and offline message from my love I get all giddy.

I'm all for holding doors open for me, and add that hand in the small of my back leading me thru it and I'm puddy. Pulling my chair out, and again guiding me ever so gently into it. *purr* (okay maybe those things just seem more vanilla than they are in my own mind. )

I'm all about surprizes, doesn't matter if it's a peck on the cheek or flowers or dinner, if it's a surprize I'm in love. *giggles*

 

[Netzach]

No self-respecting southerner would allow a lady to open her own door.

Indeed, and no guy I would be willing to spit on, either. There's a minimum amount of effort to even appear on my radar

But yeah, it's not the flashiness. It's often free. When my stud calls me "kid" like Bogart without it sounding cheese (to me anyhow) that's very romantic.

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

Spit on? Did someone say spit on? Now that is romantic.

Woops, sorry my kink radar went off. I'll slink back into my twisted corner again.

 

[Netzach]

Spit on? Did someone say spit on? Now that is romantic.

Woops, sorry my kink radar went off. I'll slink back into my twisted corner again.

There's a guy who shares my rather inverted sense of honey I love you too.

 

[Recidiva]

I think romance and passion for me are linked. Passionate people tend to find interesting ways to be romantic, to express what they feel in unique ways.

Cardboard cutout romance to me is no fun.

I think what your friend was describing was "Courtly" but not romantic.

Wildly romantic things are deeply passionate. Opening a door is a courtesy that could be provided to anyone. Romance is specific.

Someone who knows me, knows that some of the regular "romantic" symbols might not work for me.

Romance is an interest in expressing an emotion for a specific person. So a box of chocolates...maybe not as romantic to me as...say...rocks and leaves. No, really. See a beautiful rock and say "this made me think of you" and I get all fluttery. (comparison to rock aside) It's specific and it means the person knows I like bits of nature and I surround myself with stones, pine cones...leaves. However, bring me anything gold plated and I go cold. I hate gold. Silver and amethyst on the other hand...

Anyway, the more specific and heartfelt, the better.

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

There's a guy who shares my rather inverted sense of honey I love you too.

Oh indeed. There is nothing like a quick slap on my face to say "I love you honey."

 

[graceanne]

No self-respecting southerner would allow a lady to open her own door.

Pooh. They hold the doors for everyone but their wives.