Romance vs. Raunch

[dpod]

Guys sometimes feel we have to act like perfect gentlemen or women will dump us. Some people were raised to believe it you have a dirty mind then you can be a caring person. The best way around this is when things get interesting in a relationship say you like raunch. Be nice and slow if she wants. But don't stop being romantice. That way you can have both.

And just what is it you have to choose from? If you mean having to choose between us being romantic or raunchy, well then that goes both ways. With both genders, there are actually people out there that are romantic AND raunchy and also some that are one or the other. From what I see is that more often than not, the ones that know how to be both end up with someone that only knows how to be one or the other.

But when 2 come together that do know how to be both, then you get fireworks. Unfortunately, I think this is very rare.

 

[va_angel2u]

i agree with you bashful....but around here romance is never heard of..*sigh* guess i miss out

Owlie, we must live in twin cities. lol. Around here a guys idea of a date is going to a bar, getting "shit-faced drunk", puking on the date and then trying to get in bed (since her pants are already off from having to clean up, afterall). Yeah, I know, I need another location. hehe.

Add being a rather independant woman to the mix and the guys run the other direction. (sigh).

my morning vent, sorry guys.

VA

 

[sirhugs]

Owlie, we must live in twin cities. lol. Around here a guys idea of a date is going to a bar, getting "shit-faced drunk", puking on the date and then trying to get in bed (since her pants are already off from having to clean up, afterall). Yeah, I know, I need another location. hehe.

Add being a rather independant woman to the mix and the guys run the other direction. (sigh).

my morning vent, sorry guys.

VA

sorry to hear about your pants.

 

[va_angel2u]

sorry to hear about your pants.

thank you m'lord. (curtseys)

 

[sirhugs]

And just what is it you have to choose from? If you mean having to choose between us being romantic or raunchy, well then that goes both ways. With both genders, there are actually people out there that are romantic AND raunchy and also some that are one or the other. From what I see is that more often than not, the ones that know how to be both end up with someone that only knows how to be one or the other.

But when 2 come together that do know how to be both, then you get fireworks. Unfortunately, I think this is very rare.

"chose" was a poor choice of words. " settle" might be better. after all, ours is a female selection culture. Perhaps the poor guys that try are confused because women do seem to want "it all".

 

[sirhugs]

p.s.

I didn't post here to be a female basher, or defend males- I actually though this thread just deserved a bump.

I aghree most guys are assholes when it comes to women, and that's what gives us all a bad rap. I'm amazed women don't just store up enough sperm to guarantee genic diversity, then take us all out and shot us.

 

[Curious_Fem]

"chose" was a poor choice of words. " settle" might be better. after all, ours is a female selection culture. Perhaps the poor guys that try are confused because women do seem to want "it all".

I am in no way shape or form a male basher either, but this goes both ways. Women often times have to settle as well because there are virtually little to no men out there (at least from what I've seen) that know what the word romance means, let alone what actions would be considered romantic.

I'm not trying to get into a debate with you, I just wanted to give you my female perspective. Could it possibly be that you and I are both romantics that can't find a partner that is the same way?

 

[Batch]

Is it possible for a man to be both a gentleman and the "bad boy" that women want him to be? Can there coexist romance and ruanch?

I don't want any more bad boys.
Have that with my husband and the bad boy was/still is directed at me, not a good place to be in.
I want romance, but as with most of us here, that involves taking a risk.
I think it is like a balancing act, for the possiblilities, between raunch and romance. I used to be attracted( still am to some extent to the bad boys) but damn, they are not nice people!
I want ( think I am close to one) a grown up MAN, not a boy. Boys are immature, selfush , thoughtless, cruel, unseasoned. I want a man who has grown-up. When they have aged a lot, then the know the value of balancing raunchiness, and romance. Give me more romance, more respect, tenderness, thoughtfulness, consideration, grown-up behaviour. That cam be sexy in a deeper fashion. It is amazing how people flower, open up when they receive the proper care.
Men can be a lot of one over the other. Please more romance where it matters, balance it with the naughtiness at appropriate times. Being aware or attuned to when to do be which with your special someone is a learned thing. In all things moderation.

I think it is damn sexy when he is so gentlemanly and then in another breathe he risks being a bit naughty, takes my breath away.

 

[1sexylady]

But of course.... You can be a romantic bad boy...

 

[~OWLIE~]

Me, really I prefer to be romantic...but I have never had the opportunity to be treated with romance..I think that sometimes you have to do something different, change of pace. Nothing wrong with being raunchy...could get very exciting sometimes.

 

[Batch]

But of course.... You can be a romantic bad boy...

but not too bad....but not too bad.....

 

[SecretScribe]

Is it possible for a man to be both a gentleman and the "bad boy" that women want him to be? Can there coexist romance and ruanch?

I believe so. JMO

 

[RomanHans]

Me, really I prefer to be romantic...but I have never had the opportunity to be treated with romance..I think that sometimes you have to do something different, change of pace. Nothing wrong with being raunchy...could get very exciting sometimes.

So, assuming you can somehow morph between romance and raunch, which should come first in a relationship? Seems to me that raunch is only appealing after you've gotten to know someone and (one hopes) has a sense that there's more to their personality than the raunchy side.

I think that the issue is alignment--two people in the mood to be raunchy can get along at least temporarily (hence the continuing presence of meat market bars and pick-up joints, especially when last call approaches). But if one party expects romance when the other offers raunch (and vice versa), ferget it (is this too obvious a statement?). Also, romance interspersed with the occasional raunch seems preferable to a life of raunch with the occasional romance.

Roman

 

[bashfull]

Impressive

I never thought that this thread would generate this much interst. I decided long ago that romance and raunch shall coexist within me (though they may not within my parnter).

Roman~congratulations on hitting 100! You mentioned morphing between the two. I believe that they can coexist. Gentleman demeanor but "cowboy" on the inside. Adds extra flavor if you share this knowledge with your "lady". Both are courtly and secretly thinking and "naughty" thoughts. Example: Attend a black tie affair. I am the guest speaker and wearing a tuxedo. My lady is gorgeous in a black gown that that leaves the imagination naked but the skin clothed. There is a long slit running up her lucious leg. Just a few minutes before I must stand and speak, she leans over and whispers "I am not wearing underwear". She then continues her conversation with the other guests. Granted, this is more of an example of the "a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom" scenario, but is what I long for in life.

 

[Batch]

Re: Impressive

I never thought that this thread would generate this much interst. I decided long ago that romance and raunch shall coexist within me (though they may not within my parnter).

Roman~congratulations on hitting 100! You mentioned morphing between the two. I believe that they can coexist. Gentleman demeanor but "cowboy" on the inside. Adds extra flavor if you share this knowledge with your "lady". Both are courtly and secretly thinking and "naughty" thoughts. Example: Attend a black tie affair. I am the guest speaker and wearing a tuxedo. My lady is gorgeous in a black gown that that leaves the imagination naked but the skin clothed. There is a long slit running up her lucious leg. Just a few minutes before I must stand and speak, she leans over and whispers "I am not wearing underwear". She then continues her conversation with the other guests. Granted, this is more of an example of the "a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom" scenario, but is what I long for in life.

Aren't most of us secretly longing for that soul- mate
???
playmate lover friend
companion

 

[bashfull]

I am in no way shape or form a male basher either, but this goes both ways. Women often times have to settle as well because there are virtually little to no men out there (at least from what I've seen) that know what the word romance means, let alone what actions would be considered romantic.

I'm not trying to get into a debate with you, I just wanted to give you my female perspective. Could it possibly be that you and I are both romantics that can't find a partner that is the same way?

I would argue that men can be romantic, but women have killed romance. And what actions are considered romantic? I believe in treating all ladies as ladies. Is that romantic? Or is that manners? For a rare few (two on Lit to be exact), I have progressed beyond the mere flirting and became truly interested and sought more than flirting. Is that romance or bonding? Is incorporating sex into the conversations romance or merely libido? (I really have no idea here as I have very little experience with sex talk. There are only two with whom I have even considered this, so please give feedback, ya'll.)

I like to stand at the top of a mountain and watch a sunset with my arms wrapped around a woman and a slight breeze dancing in our hair. Is that romance or weakness?

I like to place the person I am romantic with upon a pedastal so that she may know she is special. Is that romance or insincerity?

The point is that romance is often treated by women as being insincere. Or it is seen as a weakness to be exploited. If what we believe to be romance is not so, then educate us as to what is.

 

[Batch]

I would argue that men can be romantic, but women have killed romance. And what actions are considered romantic? I believe in treating all ladies as ladies. Is that romantic? Or is that manners? For a rare few (two on Lit to be exact), I have progressed beyond the mere flirting and became truly interested and sought more than flirting. Is that romance or bonding? Is incorporating sex into the conversations romance or merely libido? (I really have no idea here as I have very little experience with sex talk. There are only two with whom I have even considered this, so please give feedback, ya'll.)

I like to stand at the top of a mountain and watch a sunset with my arms wrapped around a woman and a slight breeze dancing in our hair. Is that romance or weakness?

I like to place the person I am romantic with upon a pedastal so that she may know she is special. Is that romance or insincerity?

The point is that romance is often treated by women as being insincere. Or it is seen as a weakness to be exploited. If what we believe to be romance is not so, then educate us as to what is.

Speaking for myself, as woman, I love romance and I deeply appreciate it.
All romance should be based on mutul trust. Trust is an earned commodity. When that base ahs been built maigc may happen.
Not all women are romance killers.
Not all women are here to suck men dry.
Not all women are insincere.
Not all women like a man who is romantic weak.
You found to bad apples. But that, sir, does not mean that the whole barrel is rotten. With that broad brush of yours you paint all women in an unforgiving and cold light.

 

[va_angel2u]

Re: p.s.

I didn't post here to be a female basher, or defend males- I actually though this thread just deserved a bump.

I aghree most guys are assholes when it comes to women, and that's what gives us all a bad rap. I'm amazed women don't just store up enough sperm to guarantee genic diversity, then take us all out and shot us.

seems to be a matter of perspective. wmn see men as being unromantic,or insensitive and men see wmn as killing the romantic sides of the men, or being unappreciative of the romantic actions.

what could be some suggestions on how to correct these varying perspectives?

 

[Curious_Fem]

Speaking for myself, as woman, I love romance and I deeply appreciate it.
All romance should be based on mutul trust. Trust is an earned commodity. When that base ahs been built maigc may happen.
Not all women are romance killers.
Not all women are here to suck men dry.
Not all women are insincere.
Not all women like a man who is romantic weak.
You found to bad apples. But that, sir, does not mean that the whole barrel is rotten. With that broad brush of yours you paint all women in an unforgiving and cold light.

Bravo Batch! Thank you, I could never have said it that well.

 

[LUV2WATCH2]

whew....

Speaking for myself, as woman, I love romance and I deeply appreciate it.
All romance should be based on mutul trust. Trust is an earned commodity. When that base ahs been built maigc may happen.
Not all women are romance killers.
Not all women are here to suck men dry.
Not all women are insincere.
Not all women like a man who is romantic weak.
You found to bad apples. But that, sir, does not mean that the whole barrel is rotten. With that broad brush of yours you paint all women in an unforgiving and cold light.

yikes...

 

[DreamOfSun]

Is it possible for a man to be both a gentleman and the "bad boy" that women want him to be? Can there coexist romance and ruanch?

God... I sure hope so!

 

[bashfull]

Speaking for myself, as woman, I love romance and I deeply appreciate it.
All romance should be based on mutul trust. Trust is an earned commodity. When that base ahs been built maigc may happen.
Not all women are romance killers.
Not all women are here to suck men dry.
Not all women are insincere.
Not all women like a man who is romantic weak.
You found to bad apples. But that, sir, does not mean that the whole barrel is rotten. With that broad brush of yours you paint all women in an unforgiving and cold light.

Batch, I do love conversing with you. I did not claim to find two bad apples, merely one. And that one may be merely miscommunication (dare I seek an answer?) And not everyone seeks the same goals. However, those that claim to seek romance often ridicule and scorn in the discovery. Perhaps my brush is not too broad but, rather, the canvas we men of romance are given is too narrow.

 

[Batch]

Bravo Batch! Thank you, I could never have said it that well.

if only I had spelled more words correctly.

(((((((((((CF)))))))))))))

 

[Batch]

Batch, I do love conversing with you. I did not claim to find two bad apples, merely one. And that one may be merely miscommunication (dare I seek an answer?) And not everyone seeks the same goals. However, those that claim to seek romance often ridicule and scorn in the discovery. Perhaps my brush is not too broad but, rather, the canvas we men of romance are given is too narrow.

Yeah, you better seek an answer..

And you just need a more compatible woman that is all. The chickies you have found thus far are perhaps not worthy of you?

Just an idea.
Go and find another woman to paint..lolo....it is late..sorry......

 

[~Dream~]

Batch, I do love conversing with you. I did not claim to find two bad apples, merely one. And that one may be merely miscommunication (dare I seek an answer?) And not everyone seeks the same goals. However, those that claim to seek romance often ridicule and scorn in the discovery. Perhaps my brush is not too broad but, rather, the canvas we men of romance are given is too narrow.

___________________


i agree with what bash said altho online love sometime is the hardest to maintain , taking it to real life really helped for me