Role Playing

[PeekabooPico]

Hi...

So, my man and I have an amazing relationship. He's the first man I've ever been with who I've felt I can really be sexually open and expressive with, and this has made me want to try new things, and step out of my box a little bit.

I've always wanted to be able to incorporate more role playing in the bedroom - but I'm having a hell of a time trying to make it happen. I've suggested it to my guy on several occassions, and he always seems like he's going to be into it. He's definitely willing, and even gets excited about it, but it never turns out the way I'm hoping for.

The first problem we have is starting it up - I think the reason he's hesitant is becasue he feels embarrassed or something, he never really commits (despite the fact that I'm giving it my all).

But even in the (small) handful of times that we've gotten the ball rolling, there are still problems. For example, we'll set up a senario, and start acting like our respective characters, but then 15 minutes into it, right when things are starting to heat up, he totally abandons the whole thing! In my mind, it just totally kills the mood. He treats it as foreplay rather than role playing throughout... and I'm frustrated because I don't know if there's something I should do to keep it going? Should I try talking to him? Do I have the wrong perception of what role playing is all about? Help!!!

Any thoughts or insights or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!!

 

[SweetErika]

Maybe he's just not a roleplay type of person. Neither my husband nor I are - even a little bit feels incredibly fake, forced and humorous, and we're more likely to end up giggling at the silliness than anything else.

Have you asked him about it? And if there's any type that might feel more natural to him? Have you tried extending real scenarios, rather than more assigning characters and saying "go?" For instance, if you're interested in a teacher/student kind of thing, perhaps you could tell him you're going to teach him exactly how to please you and then proceed to give him detailed instructions on doing so (or vice versa). You'll be in a teacher role, and he'll be a student, but you'll both still have the freedom to be yourselves as well. At least maybe something like this would be a good place to start; perhaps as time goes on you'll both push yourselves to try a little more stuff you wouldn't normally try or expound on different facets of your personalities that are currently a little more hidden.

For people like me, playing a role isn't comfortable, but exploring and expanding on the darker corners of my mind is totally doable. Playing a domme feels ridiculous, but allowing myself to be a domme feels great. I'll laugh at playing a student, but actually being taught something and directed is fine because I can naturally expand on who I am and what I already know.

Does that make sense?

 

[satindesire]

You have to communicate with your boyfriend. You didn't say whether or not you've spoken to him about your concerns, so I'm assuming you haven't. Thing is honey, he can't read your mind! If he's frustrating you, you have to talk to him.

Also, if he's falling out of character, and you don't like that, say so! Don't just roll your eyes and get upset. TALK TO HIM!!

If you think it's silly, why do it? There are tons of other ways to bring excitement into the bedroom that won't make you feel self conscious.