Road Rage

[CandiCame]

Yhall got any good stories?

I almost got rear-ended today by what I can only assume was a glitch in the matrix.

So I work in the middle of nowhere for reasons that would make sense if you knew what I did, and I have this routine. Every day I go out to my car to smoke- I don't think I'm really supposed to, but the boss is cool with it. So I look in my bag and I take out the pack and I've got one (1) cig left and I'm like, "Well that's cool, I keep a carton in the trunk". So I go to get my trunk cigs, and I realize that I'm out. I'm dry. I thought I had another pack, but I don't. So then I think, "...ok, if I drive like a bat outta hell, I can get into town, go to the smoke shop, and come back. I'm fine. This is fine."

So I get in the car, and I get started on this brilliant plan. The road into town is down a hill, and the area is pretty deserted, so I'm not paying attention really- look, full disclosure, I'm a bad driver. But I'm trying to find a lighter, and I do, but when I look up, I see that I'm careening like 60 in a 35 toward the stoplight at the bottom of the hill that leads into town. But again, the road is deserted- but the road the other way, near town, is NOT. There's lunch-hour traffic there.

So I'm all, "FUUUUUUUUUCK," and I slam on the breaks.

This BIG ASS red truck that was apparently right on my ass, that I have no idea where it came from, because it wasn't anybody I work with, LAYS on the horn and just jerks around me and goes into the middle of this 4-way, up onto the little concrete thing in the middle that I don't know what they're called or why they exist because they seem to just be there to hit if you fuck up your turn.

Now, granted, I went from 60 to 0 in like 1 second. So I get how he could be pissed. But also...

Here's the thing. Even if I had run it... he doesn't get to run it. That's not how driving works. Like he would still have to stop. If that wasn't the case, one dumbass would destroy our entire agreed-upon driving system. So like... why is he pissed at ME!?

So this guy is now stuck there because the traffic is going, but he rolls his window down and starts screaming at me, about how he was gonna hit me and he is now trapped, and I'm a dumbass and an asshole for my actions, and he's gonna come over and kick my ass. And I'm over there, lit lighter in one hand, cigarette in my mouth, window down, staring at him as he just goes the fuck off, thinking, "Ok but YOU WOULD HAVE STILL HAD TO STOP. IT WAS RED. RED IS STOP NOW COLOR."

So I let go of the lighter, threw it into the seat, and I said, "Hey have you got a light?"

And AS SOON as I said that, I thought, "Oh I just fucked right up. I just fucked right up. I should have pretended to have a British accent and said, 'Do you have a fag?' You done FUCKED UP, Candi, that would have been HILARIOUS to you, in particular. Why the fuck did you think of that RIGHT after it would no longer be cool to say?"

Then the light turned green and he left. It's not much of a story but dude was PISSED. I thought for a hot second he was gonna kick my ass. I have no idea why he didn't. It blew my mind, because he was leaning out the window, he was about to open the door, and then he just... didn't. Like when I leaned out the window to ask him for a light, he changed his mind. And this was a BIG guy- topless redneck in a pickup, nothing but muscle. Like there should be no doubt in his mind that he could kick my ass. And he said he was going to.

So I was telling some folks about this when I got back- and they came up with a theory that I thought was funny, which is the reason I'm recounting it now.

The socially acceptable attire for my job is "business", so you're supposed to wear button-ups, dress pants, dress shoes, etc. Well, emo kids grow up to be corporate goth, so that's what I wear, BUT... so during this exchange I was wearing a Victorian-inspired dress shirt- ruffles, cravat, high collar, all of that- which is really all he would have seen. I had my nails painted black, had my hair pulled back into a low pony, had- not a full face of make-up but nobody has said shit to me, so I do wear some when I feel like it, so I had like a matt foundation and eyeliner. Had little gold hoops in my ears. My hair is naturally jet black. It had been raining and was super overcast. Now, yes, most of this does just scream, "Grown alterna-teen".

But it also screams "vampire".

So my coworkers were like, "When you snapped back at him, dude thought he pissed off a vampire."

And it was pretty funny.

Legit no idea why he didn't kick my ass though. I was ready for it. I mean, I was ready to get my ass beat, not that I was ready to fight.

But, I want to reiterate that I feel he didn't have a reason to be pissed AT ME. He, by all rights, should have stopped whether I did or not. Like this ain't between you and me, it's between you and the concept of stoplights.

Anyway, I was thinking about that and thought other people might have funny/scary/interesting road rage stories.

 

[IG_88]

I try to be chill when driving. Not using turn signals bugs me but I don't get all ragey about it.

 

[thehaircutgirl]

Yhall got any good stories?

I almost got rear-ended today by what I can only assume was a glitch in the matrix.

So I work in the middle of nowhere for reasons that would make sense if you knew what I did, and I have this routine. Every day I go out to my car to smoke- I don't think I'm really supposed to, but the boss is cool with it. So I look in my bag and I take out the pack and I've got one (1) cig left and I'm like, "Well that's cool, I keep a carton in the trunk". So I go to get my trunk cigs, and I realize that I'm out. I'm dry. I thought I had another pack, but I don't. So then I think, "...ok, if I drive like a bat outta hell, I can get into town, go to the smoke shop, and come back. I'm fine. This is fine."

So I get in the car, and I get started on this brilliant plan. The road into town is down a hill, and the area is pretty deserted, so I'm not paying attention really- look, full disclosure, I'm a bad driver. But I'm trying to find a lighter, and I do, but when I look up, I see that I'm careening like 60 in a 35 toward the stoplight at the bottom of the hill that leads into town. But again, the road is deserted- but the road the other way, near town, is NOT. There's lunch-hour traffic there.

So I'm all, "FUUUUUUUUUCK," and I slam on the breaks.

This BIG ASS red truck that was apparently right on my ass, that I have no idea where it came from, because it wasn't anybody I work with, LAYS on the horn and just jerks around me and goes into the middle of this 4-way, up onto the little concrete thing in the middle that I don't know what they're called or why they exist because they seem to just be there to hit if you fuck up your turn.

Now, granted, I went from 60 to 0 in like 1 second. So I get how he could be pissed. But also...

Here's the thing. Even if I had run it... he doesn't get to run it. That's not how driving works. Like he would still have to stop. If that wasn't the case, one dumbass would destroy our entire agreed-upon driving system. So like... why is he pissed at ME!?

So this guy is now stuck there because the traffic is going, but he rolls his window down and starts screaming at me, about how he was gonna hit me and he is now trapped, and I'm a dumbass and an asshole for my actions, and he's gonna come over and kick my ass. And I'm over there, lit lighter in one hand, cigarette in my mouth, window down, staring at him as he just goes the fuck off, thinking, "Ok but YOU WOULD HAVE STILL HAD TO STOP. IT WAS RED. RED IS STOP NOW COLOR."

So I let go of the lighter, threw it into the seat, and I said, "Hey have you got a light?"

And AS SOON as I said that, I thought, "Oh I just fucked right up. I just fucked right up. I should have pretended to have a British accent and said, 'Do you have a fag?' You done FUCKED UP, Candi, that would have been HILARIOUS to you, in particular. Why the fuck did you think of that RIGHT after it would no longer be cool to say?"

Then the light turned green and he left. It's not much of a story but dude was PISSED. I thought for a hot second he was gonna kick my ass. I have no idea why he didn't. It blew my mind, because he was leaning out the window, he was about to open the door, and then he just... didn't. Like when I leaned out the window to ask him for a light, he changed his mind. And this was a BIG guy- topless redneck in a pickup, nothing but muscle. Like there should be no doubt in his mind that he could kick my ass. And he said he was going to.

So I was telling some folks about this when I got back- and they came up with a theory that I thought was funny, which is the reason I'm recounting it now.

The socially acceptable attire for my job is "business", so you're supposed to wear button-ups, dress pants, dress shoes, etc. Well, emo kids grow up to be corporate goth, so that's what I wear, BUT... so during this exchange I was wearing a Victorian-inspired dress shirt- ruffles, cravat, high collar, all of that- which is really all he would have seen. I had my nails painted black, had my hair pulled back into a low pony, had- not a full face of make-up but nobody has said shit to me, so I do wear some when I feel like it, so I had like a matt foundation and eyeliner. Had little gold hoops in my ears. My hair is naturally jet black. It had been raining and was super overcast. Now, yes, most of this does just scream, "Grown alterna-teen".

But it also screams "vampire".

So my coworkers were like, "When you snapped back at him, dude thought he pissed off a vampire."

And it was pretty funny.

Legit no idea why he didn't kick my ass though. I was ready for it. I mean, I was ready to get my ass beat, not that I was ready to fight.

But, I want to reiterate that I feel he didn't have a reason to be pissed AT ME. He, by all rights, should have stopped whether I did or not. Like this ain't between you and me, it's between you and the concept of stoplights.

Anyway, I was thinking about that and thought other people might have funny/scary/interesting road rage stories.

i see que has a new challenger is the most wordy bore category

 

[CandiCame]

i see que has a new challenger is the most wordy bore category

Then don't... read it? Like... I didn't twist your arm?

Edit: Also, if you did read the whole thing, AND left feedback, even though you didn't enjoy it at all, thanks. This wasn't really an additional story like I asked for it was just feedback on a post I had written, out of the goodness of your heart, for no reason.

 

[thehaircutgirl]

Then don't... read it? Like... I didn't twist your arm?

why are you asking me if you twisted my arm? wouldn't you know if you did? go back into hiding.

 

[CandiCame]

why are you asking me if you twisted my arm? wouldn't you know if you did? go back into hiding.

I probably will, eventually.

 

[Que]

I drive a lot so I am frequently involved in this or that minor altercation. Probably less than most because I maintain pretty good following distances so I rarely have to brake hard.

I have noticed that fairly consistently when you get some buddy Road raging they are almost always in the wrong but believe that they are in the right.

As much as I drive from time to time I actually am the a****** I did do something stupid or I mean that right turn lane in a state where you can turn right on red when the light turns red and I'm clogging up that lane for people who could have turned right.

Most of the time I will offer the my bad wave when I know I'm in the wrong. On the other hand, if you tailgate me, you are going to be quite late getting to wherever it is that you are in such a rush to get to.

 

[Que]

i see que has a new challenger is the most wordy bore category

You know... if you are intent of on continuing to fume at me about whatever perceived slight, it would probably be smarter to continue that feud under the same login.

 

[thehaircutgirl]

You know... if you are intent of on continuing to fume at me about whatever perceived slight, it would probably be smarter to continue that feud under the same login.

there's no feud and this my only login. i know that just doesn't resonate with your paranoia and desperate pleas for attention but it's the truth.

 

[Comshaw]

Road rage happens infrequently to me. The reason is simple. As a motorcycle rider I try not to piss off people. In a contest between a motorcycle and a car, the bike will loose, badly. People fail to realize what would be a fender bender for a car can be fatal on a bike. I try to not be a dick when riding. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try it doesn't work and people get all spun up over nothing.

A few days ago on my way back home from getting my bike's firmwear upgraded I was following a line of cars on the two lane highway to my town. There was enough traffic going in the opposite direction I never had a chance to pass. There is one short passing lane and I thought I'd be able to get by the slow vehicles ahead of me. When we finally got there the car ahead of me pulled into the left lane to pass the car ahead of him. The problem was he accelerated at a very slow rate and was going to take the whole length of the passing lane to do it leaving me behind the a slowest car.

As soon as he was far enough ahead of the slow car on the right I accelerated around him, passed him on the right and pulled into the left lane just as the right lane ended. I left him plenty of room and didn't cut him off. Non the less he was pissed. He kept flashing his head lights and pulling up within feet of me. Had anything happened, like the guy ahead of me braking hard, as Mr. Miyagi would say, "Squish, just like grape". He endangered me just because I had the audacity to pass him.

That being said, I have a concealed carry permit and do carry at times, rarely actually. I would never ever use it as intimidation though. It's not smart to do for one thing and illegal in this state to do for the other. My daddy taught me many, many years ago, never pull a gun unless you have no other choice. And if you do be ready to use it. A gun is and always will be a last resort.

Recently I've begun to carry pepper gel spray ( police grade) and a Tazer flashlight. I figure as an old man I'm entitled to some protection and a nonlethal type is much better then a gun.


Comshaw

 

[BotanyBoy]

Car crash tube and fury road on youtube.... I love road drama channels.

Dash cam video from all over, they got DUI collections, pepper spray compilations, road rage editions...all sorts of 5-20 min videos of road drama.

 

[Que]

Car crash tube and fury road on youtube.... I love road drama channels.

Dash cam video from all over, they got DUI collections, pepper spray compilations, road rage editions...all sorts of 5-20 min videos of road drama.

Recon?

According to the law of averages at some point someone is going to decide he needs to have a physical conversation with you about your driving.

"I pity da fool!" - Mr. T as B.A. Barabas in The A-Team

 

[dolf]

Get Candi, in his new role as "Mr almost responsible adult"! How's the spawn?

I've never had any road rage incidents while I'm driving. I don't even get beeped, I just get the occasion eye roll.

There was one time my Ape was driving, and some crazy pulled up alongside at the lights, screaming at him that if he wanted a fight he'd kick his arse at the next petrol station. I think that was coke rage though.

 

[dolf]

Also, I feel I can explain your lack of bruises from this encounter. Unless you've moved house, that is.
He saw you had all your teeth. Beyond the age of 20. He was terrified because he knew that this must be some kind of witchcraft.

 

[BotanyBoy]

Recon?

Road drama vids?

Nah...just reality TV.

According to the law of averages at some point someone is going to decide he needs to have a physical conversation with you about your driving.

"I pity da fool!" - Mr. T as B.A. Barabas in The A-Team

I've seen some fights over driving/races. Sometimes between competitors but I've seen easily 4x as many fights between team mates/crews.

I even saw a dude get shot once over a 5,000$ race....just couldn't accept his loss to a rice burnin' shit box.... he tried to shoot the other driver and hit his buddy instead.

Stupid fuck went from loosing a race and a lil cash to attempted murder with a deadly weapon in the blink of a derp.

Ahh good ol' street racing drama back in the day......I don't do that shit anymore.

 

[CandiCame]

Also, I feel I can explain your lack of bruises from this encounter. Unless you've moved house, that is.
He saw you had all your teeth. Beyond the age of 20. He was terrified because he knew that this must be some kind of witchcraft.

Bold of you to assume I have all my teeth.

 

[CandiCame]

Road rage happens infrequently to me. The reason is simple. As a motorcycle rider I try not to piss off people. In a contest between a motorcycle and a car, the bike will loose, badly. People fail to realize what would be a fender bender for a car can be fatal on a bike. I try to not be a dick when riding. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try it doesn't work and people get all spun up over nothing.

A few days ago on my way back home from getting my bike's firmwear upgraded I was following a line of cars on the two lane highway to my town. There was enough traffic going in the opposite direction I never had a chance to pass. There is one short passing lane and I thought I'd be able to get by the slow vehicles ahead of me. When we finally got there the car ahead of me pulled into the left lane to pass the car ahead of him. The problem was he accelerated at a very slow rate and was going to take the whole length of the passing lane to do it leaving me behind the a slowest car.

As soon as he was far enough ahead of the slow car on the right I accelerated around him, passed him on the right and pulled into the left lane just as the right lane ended. I left him plenty of room and didn't cut him off. Non the less he was pissed. He kept flashing his head lights and pulling up within feet of me. Had anything happened, like the guy ahead of me braking hard, as Mr. Miyagi would say, "Squish, just like grape". He endangered me just because I had the audacity to pass him.

That being said, I have a concealed carry permit and do carry at times, rarely actually. I would never ever use it as intimidation though. It's not smart to do for one thing and illegal in this state to do for the other. My daddy taught me many, many years ago, never pull a gun unless you have no other choice. And if you do be ready to use it. A gun is and always will be a last resort.

Recently I've begun to carry pepper gel spray ( police grade) and a Tazer flashlight. I figure as an old man I'm entitled to some protection and a nonlethal type is much better then a gun.


Comshaw

I don't get why people are CONSISTENTLY dicks to cyclists. I've heard a LOT of shit like this. Like... you can legit kill somebody with that shit.

 

[CandiCame]

Get Candi, in his new role as "Mr almost responsible adult"! How's the spawn?

I've never had any road rage incidents while I'm driving. I don't even get beeped, I just get the occasion eye roll.

There was one time my Ape was driving, and some crazy pulled up alongside at the lights, screaming at him that if he wanted a fight he'd kick his arse at the next petrol station. I think that was coke rage though.

She's alright. Today she asked me if my skeleton was wet. I was like, "...Jesus Christ Bitesize, I got shit to do today and now this is the only thing I'm gonna be able to think about."

To be fair, a LOT of it might be coke rage.

 

[dolf]

Bold of you to assume I have all my teeth.

Whilst I imagine you living off taffi until the age of 20, I'm fairly sure you're too vain not too brush.

She's alright. Today she asked me if my skeleton was wet. I was like, "...Jesus Christ Bitesize, I got shit to do today and now this is the only thing I'm gonna be able to think about."

To be fair, a LOT of it might be coke rage.

Your kid is awesome. And this is the easy stuff, before you become the most stupid person ever to spawn, before her hormones take over.

 

[CandiCame]

Whilst I imagine you living off taffi until the age of 20, I'm fairly sure you're too vain not too brush.

Your kid is awesome. And this is the easy stuff, before you become the most stupid person ever to spawn, before her hormones take over.

I'm missing like 6 teeth if you count those shitty wisdom teeth that do no one any good. They're all in the back, though, so that logic might stand.

Thing is, it's not wet. I love living in the google age, because she said that to me as I was walking out here to smoke, and I brought my phone, and I googled it, so here in a second I'm gonna walk back in like, "GUESS WHAT BITCH, IT'S NOT WET! IT'S COVERED IN A MEMBRANE THAT KEEPS IT DRY!" I feel like back in the day you'd just have to walk around like, "She's right. She's absolutely right. 'Dry Bones' is a shitty name for a Mario enemy. Makes no goddamn sense."

Then she's gonna give my my daily hour long lecture about the dangers of smoking. So I'm pretty sure she already thinks I'm stupid.

 

[dolf]

It's not really dry though. You ever slice up a body? The bones are moist.

 

[CandiCame]

It's not really dry though. You ever slice up a body? The bones are moist.

Let me have this. I've got like 3 years left where I can be right about anything.