RJ's Place

[kitty4ever]

Others have stated my opinion more fluently than I could. We are human, and we make mistakes. We can only understand what we did wrong, learn from it, apologize and accept the consequences.

I have a nasty habit of snapping at those close to me sometimes when I am very stressed, upset, depressed, etc. It's something that I strive to control, and do something of a good job when I'm stressed. It's when I'm having a bad night, when I'm at my lowest that I find myself less able to control it. It's a horrible flaw of mine and one that I'm striving to fix, but I am only human.

I hope the ones involved are able to forgive you, but it's their choice.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Thoughts on thoughts

RJM, I've been out of town for a few days, and unable to get online much at all, so I apologize if this post is too far behind time, but I wanted to add in my thoughts.

I've responded to some of your posts before, usually - I believe - positively. In the case of your response to smoothbikini, I almost hit quote/reply immediately upon reading it, then thought again and continued reading the thread. I'm glad I did.

I agreed with Kajira Callista's "kinda rude" assessment - and still do. I felt your angry response to that assessment was out of proportion. I understand from your comments that the two of you have some history of clashing. Be that as it may, the simple "kinda rude" comment does not seem to warrant the invective you unleashed upon her, nor in your subsequent post, in which you seemed to belittle and insult her using her chosen name. KC has previously made it clear that her name does not denote a Gorean inclination, but merely the use of those words to describe herself, as so many others use words to describe themselves. I might note, in a scholarly aside, that almost all contemporary names derive from cultural origins and have meanings - and that they almost never mean that the person subscribes to or follows the traditions of the culture from which their name is derived.

I was proud of you - as any human may be when he/she sees a person rise to accomplishment, whether athletic, academic or personal - when you apologized, publicly and specifically to KC, and to the community as a whole, and said that you had looked at yourself and wanted to make some adjustments. That is growth as a human being - the most important kind of growth.

If this sounds a little paternal, perhaps it is - I'm older than most here (54), with over 30 years lifestyle, and sometimes feel that way. If it sounds patronizing, please be assured it isn't. That would be hurtful (in the not-good way - remember, I'm a sensual sadistic Dom), and I try not to be.

Secondly, quit fucking whining. Get back in the threads. You often have interesting and insightful (not inciting, usually) viewpoints. Share them with us. See ya!

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Thoughts on thoughts

.

quit fucking whining. Get back in the threads. You often have interesting and insightful (not inciting, usually) viewpoints. Share them with us. See ya!

Thanks Winston. Agree with what you said. Working my way back now.

I have been busy this weekend doing this and that, but I will be back posting this week I am sure.

Cya

 

[RJMasters]

We can only understand what we did wrong, learn from it, apologize and accept the consequences.

I have a nasty habit of snapping at those close to me sometimes when I am very stressed, upset, depressed, etc. It's something that I strive to control, and do something of a good job when I'm stressed. It's when I'm having a bad night, when I'm at my lowest that I find myself less able to control it. It's a horrible flaw of mine and one that I'm striving to fix, but I am only human.

I hope the ones involved are able to forgive you, but it's their choice.

Me too. TY for sharing that.

 

[Pure]

if the dustup occurred in the cafe, which isn't this
apparent mea culpa thread there also?

this whole analysis of 'how could I be so bad' seems very odd.

you said some rude things to KC, I gather. so you tell her you acted like, or were, an asshole, and promise to be more respectful.

that is not an instant 'cure' or 'solution', but it allows her, in time, IF she wants, to begin another conversation with you.

i don't see what a discussion of your sleep habits could add to the simple procedure i've indicated.

 

[shy slave]

Hi
I have also been away for a few days ~ (now before tongues wag NOT with Sir Winston) anyway the whole uprising has passed me by and I won't be intentionally looking for the thread.

Catalina said I cannot think of one person who has posted on this board more than a handful of times who has not at some time said something which offended another either through tone, opinion, or misunderstood intention or meaning. It is one of the difficulties of interacting in this media to some extent,

Well i have certainly done that myself on here and there are people who post who can make me cross when I read their posts.
I am equally sure people may have disagreed with me on issues even if they have not said so.

I also know people have left the forum becuase of particular comments

We are all human, sometimes its the medium of the 'net that makes it difficult to understand the tone etc, sometimes its the history you have with that person.

No-one died. KJ will either forgive you or not.

MissT said in a thread 'this is not real life'

Every time someone irratates me on here I remember that.
It sometimes works lol (if not imagine Pagens gun )

I like the idea of this thread though, its like self-flaggalation with friends

Hope your back on the threads soon, xx

 

[RJMasters]

if the dustup occurred in the cafe, which isn't this
apparent mea culpa thread there also?

this whole analysis of 'how could I be so bad' seems very odd.

you said some rude things to KC, I gather. so you tell her you acted like, or were, an asshole, and promise to be more respectful.

that is not an instant 'cure' or 'solution', but it allows her, in time, IF she wants, to begin another conversation with you.

i don't see what a discussion of your sleep habits could add to the simple procedure i've indicated.

I don't know.

The mention of my sleep habits was in regard to not posting to the boards when I have not had enough sleep. Often when I do not have enough sleep, I answer quickly and don't think as much as when I am better rested. The response I posted to smoothbikini was a rude one, and "in part" was due to lack of sleep. A simple way to avoid this element of what happened, is to simply not post to the forum when I have not had enough sleep.

Perhaps it is my way of thinking about what happened and sharing what I have decided are positive steps to prevent it from happening in the future. Maybe its my way of saying to those I was rude to or had knee-jerk reactions to, hey I know I fucked up, and here is one thing I am gonna do to try to prevent it from happening again.

Over-all, this thread was about me having a place to post, while I worked through some issues. Many in the community were clear about not wanting to hear what I had to say at that moment, and I can't blame them. So it seemed right to start a thread where I could post, that was my own.

I think it is always important to keep the lines of communications open. I think starting this thread was my way to do that with the community in addition to dealing with the guilt and rejection over what happened.

I know I have appreciated those who have posted advice and comments, and even encouragement.

Maybe that explains it better, not sure.

 

[RJMasters]

Hope your back on the threads soon, xx

Ty shy

 

[Pure]

Shy said, "Hope your back on the threads soon, xx "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



RJ said, "Ty shy"

Jeez, and I thought this *was* a thread. Just one devoted fully to RJ the person in public repentance, instead of just partially to his intemperateness.

 

[RJMasters]

Shy said, "Hope your back on the threads soon, xx "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



RJ said, "Ty shy"

Jeez, and I thought this *was* a thread. Just one devoted fully to RJ the person in public repentance, instead of just partially to his intemperateness.

1. intemperateness - consumption of alcoholic drinks
intemperance
vice - a specific form of evildoing; "vice offends the moral standards of the community"
boozing, crapulence, drink, drinking, drunkenness - the act of drinking alcoholic beverages to excess; "drink was his downfall"
2. intemperateness - immoderate indulgence of bodily appetites
self-indulgence, intemperance
spree, fling - a brief indulgence of your impulses
dissipation, licentiousness, profligacy, dissolution - dissolute indulgence in sensual pleasure
jag - a bout of drinking or drug taking
humoring, indulging, pampering, indulgence - the act of indulging or gratifying a desire




If you got a point to make or some advice, I'm listening.