Rick's Rooftop...an OOC lounge

[polywog]

"loved, respected, and known"

Lillie, I believe you said it all. In this perspective, both men and women are identical in what they want.

Ariosto, this topic is a can of worms on gargantuan scale.

I read this am's posts with dismay. I thot a catfight would ensue. I fear feelings were hurt, and little understanding occured.

We needn't look to gender differences (which do exist, on both nature and nurture side of the study) for reasons why attempts at 'love, respect, and knowing' fail.

I am not the first to note that our medium has limits. These make communication tools like sarcasm (poor enough in RL) practically guaranteed to cause problems where facial cues, vocal tones, body language are not available.

There ought to ba law, Ariosto, can you sponsor it's legislation?

Girls, no amount of self depracation repairs a misunderstanding.
*steps down and brutally kicks the soap box*

Mel, I said I felt grand. I did. (At the moment, I feel great sorrow, for many reasons not directly connected to this thread or lit.) I will jump into the river, after you, and cradle you, and carry you to safety.

The way I feel when I read or compose a post, reflect aims aknowledged and subconcious, which I hardly account for and cannot call others to account for. And I try to discern another's meaning and intent with even less data or objectivity. Don't we fool ourselves? THIS IS RL!

The topic of yesterdays thread ties right in. I want attention, possitive regard from women and men. When I post my character, I want to know I'm witty, funny, sexy...I want to know you think so, that you feel drawn to me. I am so desperate to hear you say it, Mel!
If, Ariosto, you respond with "wow, P, that was profound!" I will float for days.
Lilly, you can write, "Hey, P, lets start a closed thread, I want you to jam your thing in here and here...", I would look real hard at my schedule to see if I could devote enough time to make it rewarding for us.
Chele, well..I suppose I've made my point. (Are you disapointed to be left out? Huh? Are you? HUh?)

We have all indicated at some point, our respect and affection for one another and said it meant alot to hear it from one another. Maybe that's a core issue and needs great emphasis. It's hard for sincerity to get a foothold in this medium.

I have a topic, What qualities in ourselves can we telegraph into our posts that engender the rewards we really want? By extension, What defines the straightest line between my reward and yours?

 

[SexyChele]

Polywog: Do I feel disappointed at being left out of what? Huh?? *shrugs shoulders* I guess the answer to your question is.....no, I don't. But try not to take that too seriously.

Captainb: What can I say? One of two men on this board who I greatly admire for not only his writing style, but because he is a true mensch.

If people stick around here long enough, you will find that every so often there will be a "blow up" or two. It's almost inevitable. There are egos, personality conflicts, misunderstandings. It happens. Yet, after such a "blow up", you would be amazed at the friendships forged. And the best friendships are those forged in line of fire, so to speak.

I don't mean to have a "cavalier" attitude towards relationships around here, but this is only fantasy after all. And if I were to vanish without a trace tomorrow, who would really care? It would be assumed that I had left because of personal reasons or maybe because something else came up. I don't fool myself into thinking I make or break Lit. It was in existance long before I arrived, and will conintue (hopefully) to exist long after I decide to leave. Hopefully I can have some fun while I'm here.

But Lit is not the center of my universe. Some of the friendships I have found here, I hope to continue on into RL. But who really knows?

So, since this is my 4th post today, and other things require my attention at the moment, I will take my coffee to go and see all in the morning...

 

[Lady_Kit]

things on my mind...

"Barging in..."
It isn't hard to feel as if one is barging into a thread when ones' posts are not acknowledged by those driving the thread. The intent may be to provide an open thread to everyone, but it doesn't always feel that way. Jumping into a thread feels alot like going to a party alone. You find the courage to start a conversation, and then watch the person you've been talking to walk away to talk to someone they know. You feel like they were only talking to you until something better came along and once it did, you were history. Just my personal opinion.

I don't mean this to sound like "poor me" but it is easy to feel left out here at Lit, even on this thread. Conversations moving all around you, new SRP's being discussed and invitations offered, exchanges and jokes that suggest familiarity...see how it happens?

Communication between men and women?
Happens a lot like what we're seeing here. What we each say is clear when we "hear" it in our own head, but what someone else hears is based on their point of reference. Besides that, men are doers...tell a man that the neighbor looked at you funny and they want to go next door and "fix" it for you. Tell a woman the same thing, and she asks you what you think it means and if you want to talk about it. Personally, I think it's just biology.

Finally, I do enjoy Lit. I've been registered since August. Although I stop in frequently to read I haven't made my 100 posts yet...just too busy with the RL. I do have things to offer, and would love to participate. Do I need an engraved invitation to join a thread? No. But I do need to feel welcome. How does that happen? I need to meet people. How do I meet other people? Join a thread. How do I gain a welcome to a thread? Meet people. See my point?

*settling back onto my barstool I sip my afternoon cocktail and hope for company*

Kit

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, Ari, give me my 30 lashes with a wet noodle for making post #5, but this is important.

Lady Kit, if I've missed a post you made here earlier, I do apologize. I don't recall seeing your name here before, but then, I do have my flaws.

With that said, let me welcome you graciously to the Rooftop, and hope that you will stay for as long as you like. And, please, do contribute to the conversations! There is nothing in the bylaws that say only those with a certain number of posts can have anything to say. Sometimes the most profound things are said by people who have simply observed for a while.

You are correct, however. Many of us "old timers" have been through the wringer with each other over the past few months, that we do develop a comraderie that can often make "newbies" feel left out. I know. I felt just that way when I first join. And there was no "social club" to help dispel that feeling.

But this I can tell you: the more you can contribute (as time allows) the more people will come to know you and talk to you. I know that is difficult when one has a busy life, but there are many folks here at Lit who only post occasionally, yet have the respect of other people simply because they participate when they can.

And I can so hear you when you say you are "talking" to some one and they suddenly "walk away" for another person. And, yes, it is somewhat akin to being at a party, isn't it? You standing there with a drink in your hand, seemingly enjoying the conversation, and *poof* suddenly they leave you because that gorgeous blond/brunette/redhead just came into the room! Yes, it is frustrating, isn't it?

Anyway, I hope you will forgive me, Kit, but I really do need to get some lunch in my tummy or I shall faint from hunger. (well, maybe not, but I am hungry!)

Again, welcome to the Rooftop, and I'm sorry if I inadvertantly overlooked a post you had made earlier!

Okay, Ari, I'm going now - SHEESH!!!!

 

[ariosto]

Ari puts on his Bogey mask which Chele gave him for Christmas...
Chele you are a doll. Sometimes a thorny one but a doll nonetheless. Please hurry back. I'll try and squirt down all the brush fires you've left behind.




Honey, I was so happy to see you up here! We need more intra-club fraternization.

Lady-Kit, welcome. I'd like to sit by you if I may.
We have all, myself included made utterly clever posts and waited in vane to be aknowledged. Most of the time it's an oversite and unintentional...(oops Hi Poly!, Captainb, Lillie, Mel...)
See when your gone for a few hours people drift in and out..

If you would like to jump on a thread the Riverboat that Pen is about to launch could probably use another player. Maybe we can sit down and play a little poker.


Let's vote everybody!

 

[melusine]

Ready to bare her backside for the lash

since this is over the four post limit. Ari, can't you cut me some slack because I am in a drastically different time zone and always seem to eat up my four posts before the rest of the gang gets online??

Just wanted to give everyone a big hug -- Honey, Chele, Lillie, Kit -- and say that I just feel a lot better after this open discussion. Honey is very right in what she says about this being a place for relaxation and pleasure -- not things that stress us out.

Captainb, I have never met you, but your words are very wise and much appreciated.

Polywog, I am very sad to hear that you are feeling sorrowful today. If I could help you feel grand, I would.

Ariosto, I cannot vote as I am one of the entrants. And...your mailbox is full again.

 

[faith]

plain talking...

I take exception to the things being said about the cafe up here. Ari and Chele, when Ari posted he named Honey and Tibvo in his post. In my book that means he is talking to them. That also means it is up to them to respond or not. There were plenty of "people" in the cafe at the time of the post yet Ari chose to post to people not there. Then he feels left out? I have been at the cafe since the start... I was at it's predecessor so I've seen all the people come and go. Read my post, I always try to reply to anyone and everyone that wants to "talk" to me. What you will also find if you look hard enough is that posting is a two way street. How many times have I posted Directly to Ari and gotten ZERO response in return and I am talking about post that go so far as to start "Dear Ari". Basically, I quit caring long ago except when he comes in to tell us how shitty the place is for not living up to his high standard and two when anyone else tells us how shitty we are. You set a standard...example four posts only. How long will that rule last. Oops...Not doing so well on that one are you. Where will you draw the line? Same thing at the club. You both had a guiding hand in where the cafe was going. Much of the "fluff" that started in the club you helped start. Then you get angry that it's there. If you want to be included then spend time there. We have some great people there. Rarely is the club a serious place but (and this is a very big but) it is a place that gives newbies a place to cut their teeth on the boards. How many of the most prolific writers to be found on the bulletin boards began in the club. The claim is that cliques are forming. Sorry to inform you but they've always been there just look at the relationships early on at the club. People are drawn together for many different reasons and in doing so that may exclude others from the relationship. It happens to the best of us but I for one try to fight the beast. So many faces have passed through the doors of the club and in your name every one of them have been welcomed. You have been given credit for the club even when you can't make the time to be there. So I find it rather insulting that it is implied that anyone there has done anything to short change either of you.

 

[rashid]

Dearest Darling Kit

Since you already know I love you to pieces you also know you'll be welcome by me wherever I may be. Pity only that there is not enough time in every day to post and post and post some more - I've just spent nearly an hour just reading, catching up and replying to three threads (including this one) .

I know how it can be to post in a place like the cafe' and come back the next day to find your post was left unnoticed and two dozen or more followed it but that's the nature of the beast like Ari says. Even a four post limit is hard to keep up with if fifteen people post four times each in a day. Welcome darlin and be safe.

PS we already have our own riverboat - Cap't Jeremiah Turnbull at your service - Moored in N'orleans undergoing refit in preparation for a visit by Miss Valentine and her fine cohort of lovely ladies. (and you thought I forgot didn't you lover?)

My two cents worth on the tone of the conversation lately.
There seems to be lots of animosity floating around these days. Everyone here has an imagination which leads to a lot of reading between the lines and so, it seems, feelings get hurt. I learned a long time ago that the meaning of a communication is what was recieved. If what was heard was not what was intended it's up to the sender to clarify. Naturally, that can only happen if the reciever takes time to ask for clarification before beheading the sender. Nuff said.

Man woman communication - hehehehehehehe now there's an oxymoron if I ever hoid one. Do we dare to open this can of worms? If you say yes, I'll do my bestest to contribute to the mayhem

Love ya all an have a nice ( really nice) day

OOPS - while I was writing the above Faith dropped in - May I attempt to be a peacekeeper here? I stopped hanging out downstairs not because I was ever made to feel unwelcome but because I simply couldn't devote the time to playing and am not by nature all that witty anyway. I drop in from time to time to read what's going on but am honestly more comfortable with the kind of conversations taking place up here. To me it's no harm , no foul. If, on the count of three we all say "OK OK I"M SORRY" and then just get on with it, we might be happier.

If we look for motive we can usually find one even if it's totally fabricated. It might be wiser to simply state what happened and ask what might be done about it. It's also useful to keep things in an objective reference IE - when XXXX happened I felt YYYYY instead of when YOU did XXXX, it ruined my life. Know what I mean??????

PPS. Honey?????? - if you're stressed out come sit over here and let me rub your back till you feel better....

 

[faith]

stressed??????

Thanks but I am not stressed. What I am is tired of defending what I see as an being as absolutely fantastic thread that gets absolutely no respect. Not from outsiders and not by its founders.

It gets really old being told that for whatever reason that it doesn't quite measure up

 

[cgraven]

I have remained silent all day as this furious posting and venting has gone on.

I take full responsibility for it. Because it started between two writers on a thread I started "New France".

The other day in this very room I spoke about two things.

1. The importance of communications.

Some may remember on the day of the 100th page celebration at the "cafe" I was late by a page and a half for the duel with Swashbuckler. At the top of the post was a note " Computer troubles". Its' little brain was scrambled and the threads on my active list where gone. Yet not once did anyone PM me with their concerns. With one exception. The newbie who wanted me to know that she thought might have upset the writer of a major part and offered to withdraw for the sake of peace.

Please tell me so I can understand why those among with experience could not manage a PM like that?

Oh yes we discuss communications but do we follow through?

2. I spoke about people

For me it is and well always be about the people. Responding to what they wrote. Not just skimming it to get my brilliant words down, but to play to what they said. For my character to relate to theirs. It may be in a 1st effort of a newbie as in the "Mont St-Ann....." authored by Cutie Lillie or Mr. Brown in my "Door to Door" with Lady T.

For when all is said and done their is a person behind the grease paint. Be they good, bad, or ugly.

A statement was made about the club being a place of shallow one liners. My character C. G. Raven is probably the worst in that area. The following like will be just another example of the type of work of shallow one liners. For those who care I do hope you get a laugh. "I do try my best".

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=855550#post855550

My post and the one above.

 

[rashid]

silly Faith

I meant Honey B who said in an earlier post that she was stressed but if you need a back rub too I'll be happy to accomodate.

Shallow one liners indeed he said - I'm at least as shallow as anyone else here................

 

[faith]

You're absolutely right CG,

My humblest apologies. I'll try to do better in the future.
With all sincerity,
faith

 

[ariosto]

A reply to Faith

I am not sure how to reply to faiths posts.
First I apologise to her for any slight I may have given. I would never have done it intentionaly.
I never said the Café was 'shitty'(your expression). My problem has never been the social direction the Café took. It was the inability to carry on discussions about RP within the confines of the Cafe. The creation of the RoofGarden was to allow both goals to devlope. I invisioned a place for social interaction and constructive dialogue. With the two places running we can enjoy both.
I never pointed fingers at anyone about my posts being neglected downstairs. Chele noticed that no one had responded and mentioned that this morning. The fact is that asingle post gets lost so easily, which is the reason for the 4 post limit up here.
Yes I did contribute to the 'fluff' at the Café early on. It was when I thought a balance could be still maintained there between fun and dialogue.
Once again faith I apologise to you. Your posts to me were never neglected intentionaly.

One last time...

There is no antagonism no incompatibility between the Café and the RoofTop.
We are both different sides to the same coin.

PEACE PLEASE!


CG please recognize that it is nearly impossible for many of us to keep up at the Café. We do the best we can.

 

[ariosto]

I just recieved a PM from Cathay pointing out that I'd forgotten to mention Rashid's entry.
Rashid forgive me. It too was unintentional.

Strike the above...Thanks for the correction Cathay, but rashid please take my apology anyway...Someday it might be relevant.

 

[cgraven]

Ari I have nothing but the greatest respect for you. We never seem to get a chance to just sit and talk.

I truly know you love both you creations. As a proud father loves his children.

My comments where in relation to watching people I know and respect on both sides being hurt.

As I said for me it is always about the people.

I am and shall remain your humble admirer.

 

[Cathay]

I can admit to be a selective writer..

I never jump in just "because". But I read Everything, I am one
of those who basically just write when I feel I have something
to say. I rather admire those Literoticans who can just easily
gregariously have a a quick cup of coffee, say a few words than just disappear. There probably have been times when I thought
"get a chat room". But that problem lies with ME. Not with those
who "post and run". I feel a kinship with the "newbies". I am
still a rookie myself, and I just want to say...."Do it. Do what you do, apologize for nothing. Be what you are." And we are all
so deliciously different. I love that! We are all layered creatures.
One layer upon another, there is always More beneath the
skin, always more than the obvious. And I never forget that.
None of us ever should.

Now to the question: Do men and women express themselves differently? It took me YEARS to figure that out. We all do not
want the same things. Part of it is (I think) a biological imperative.
The rest is right brain - left brain thinking. I could go on for
hours regarding the difference of the sexes (and believe me, I have!). Suffice it to say......yes. Very few women can (are able)
to express themselves as a man does ... and visa versa. It is, I think... as it should be. We cannot (nor should we) solve that little mystery. The fun, the frolic, the joy and drama would just end. How utterly boring that would be!

 

[polywog]

Contest rules...is as rules does

Cathay's post is 7 words too long.
I wouldn't mention it, but I worked hard to get my entry within the limits set up by our host. Had to cut it seven or so times, restructure it,...blah blah blah

 

[ariosto]

Poly I have not counted words yet...the day has been spent in other directions.
I will tonight and will ask those who have gone over if they can trim a few.

Gee Maybe Im over 4 or even 5...
That's Ok I'm going home now.



I am truly sorry for the words that have been exchanged here today. In the midst of it all there was a wonderful discussion started by mel that sort of got lost. If we can keep a focus on it, I'd like to pick it up again tomorrow.

Sweet dreams all.

 

[Cathay]

Poly............picky picky picky!

And believe me when I say I cut some already. sigh...

hmmm, had some time on your hands there buddy? lol

 

[Honey_B]

I guess I want to thank everybody who shares a little of themselves at the Club and here, at the Rooftop. I haven't met a single person here that I couldn't get along with, despite an occasional bump here and there. I'd like to say a few words about the conflict I sense brewing. The fact is, the club and the rooftop came from the same person. My friend and mentor, Ariosto. He came up with the very first OOC club way back before most of you were born (at LIT anyway). He formed the Cafe Americain with Chele and now the next evolution, Rick's Rooftop.

Ari and I talked a great deal before he opened this forum. We talked about whether to give the OOC thread a seperate identity or to keep it connected in the virtual sense to to Club. The decision was made to go with an earlier idea, to create the Rooftop. He would not have opened it if it meant endangering the club. He was that desperate for both to succeed.

I know that he feels, as do I, that the club has merit. Can't be beat for sheer entainment value either. I will be making some comments down there, via a riding crop, about limiting back and forth dialogue between two writers. Got to find my dominatrix picture before I do. The one with the whip. hmmm...

But I digress. The club has been a wonderful place for newcomers to post. However, I never wanted it to become a crutch for them to post elsewhere. I think I might have to nudge some people out of the nest. That often takes a mentor. I'd love to help every new person. Even if I can't do it individually the club is my way of welcoming as many newcomers as I can.

Ok, that said, anyone want to give me a hug. I hate being this candid. Oh, and let's get back to the real beauty of this place which is great discussion!

 

[Pendulum]

Honey, I think you have the right idea

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And to all and everyone else that may need one

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[polywog]

Belive me Cathay,

The time was spent bringing my entry down to 99 words.

All I had to do was count yours, and of course spill the beans!

I thought my entry was much better at 120 words.

If you think I'm a stickler,.......I have my days....
If you think men and women don't want the same things, look deeper. The deepest truth shows all the rest to be simply illusion!
Know what? We're peers, I checked.

Honey, you've a warm heart.
Let me in on that hug, Pen,MMMMMM

 

[Cutie Lillie]

I'm in!!! (((HUG)))

Thoughts
Sharing
Personal
sometimes emotional

but all in all.. the process.. (HUG)

Night draws
Day dawns

New start

 

[polywog]

I don't wanna make anybody self concious...

How can somebody practically my age be so darn perky?
There's a magic talent here......
Come, come, little Lillie, tell us your secret!

I keep repeating how much I love pigtails, maryjanes, and short plaid skirts...but only on girls old enough to 'grok' the appeal!
RRahrrr, Rahrr

 

[Cutie Lillie]

LOL!

Drink lots of orange juice, Poly...

Oh and salt water taffy and walks on the beach..


Then there is always the professional perky training at Miss Blindie's on Market Street..