Responsibilities when we bring newcomers into BDSM?

[Mr Blonde]

Edit: Deleted due to the forum's lack of interest in real topics.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think if memory serves me correctly I have only ever attempted to find a Dom in a vanilla partner once. It was primarily because I could see good qualities in him to be Dom, and we had been in a relationship for some time, and basically what he wanted was to be a Dom but just wasn't ready to accept the role because of his inner conflicts which came from a lifetime of conditioning in vanilla terms.

I did explain to him what it was I needed, what his role would be and how I already saw a lot of those qualities in him, and we experimented a little, talked about safety etc. It didn't work mostly because he could not get past his conditioning, and he as in other aspects of the relationship had this feeling he needed to switch because if I found being submissive so great perhaps he might miss something if he didn't get to enjoy it as well.

I wasn't into being a switch myself and wasn't willing to put in years of work to wait and see if he could get past those things which held him back, so I decided it was time to end it and move toward seeking that which I really wanted and needed and leave vanilla behind forever.

Catalina