Researching near-death

[SweetWitch]

Some would call me ghoulish. Okay, so I’m just like that.

I always strive for realism in my characters and my stories. Extrapolations from my own experiences, those of the people closest to me and from watching people at large go a long way in attaining this goal, but there are some things that must be researched.

Near-death is one of those subjects. Many of us have come close to dying. Some have experienced it more than once. I have only my own experiences, the three times I’ve had my life flash before my eyes, to draw upon. So, I know how I feel and how I react, but I don’t know how other people with other personality types dealt with it.

Does anyone else have a take on the situation? I know what I’m asking can be deeply spiritual, painful, disheartening and exceedingly personal, but I’m very curious. I’m not looking for what was seen or heard—that tunnel of light or the powerful pull to some unknown place. What I’m looking for is the actual emotion involved.

My first brush with death was a combination of fear and anger—to the point of rage. I was horrified thinking of my body being discovered decomposed and mutilated. There was the fury over not having any control in the situation and the sadness of what my family would think when I didn’t return home.

The second one was less painful and more serene. There was a moment of acceptance and a desire to just let it happen. I wasn’t so very sad or even angry. At least not until I started coming around and physical pain returned to my body. Then I was seriously pissed.

The third time I was just too damned exhausted to give a shit. I just wanted it to be over. Again, there was anger—deep and abiding—when I realized I would survive and the pain hit me like a river of lava. But at the moment when death was considered imminent, and people were rushing around trying to keep me alive, I just wanted it to end.

Everyone’s experiences are unique to the individual. I’m curious as to how those of you who have survived such moments coped, and how you felt afterwards. This is strictly voluntary, as you know, so if you don’t feel like sharing, I fully understand.

Thanks,

Molly

 

[Handley_Page]

What a fascinating question, Molly.

Your second example reminds me of "Reach for the Sky", where Douglas Bader lies peacefully in his hospital bed and a noisy Nurse is told to quieten down; "there's a man dying in there". He was determined not to die and the pain came back with a vengeance.

A pal of mine some years ago, told me that he'd had a somewhat tricky operation following some disaster or other. He saw the light - bright and attractive, and heard friends he knew to have died calling him. He said "No; I want to see my Grandchildren grow up". When he woke up, he said, it hurt like hell!

Apparently both the surgeon and the anaesthetist expressed an interest as they feared they'd lost him.

 

[sr71plt]

First, I think it's somehow a medical phenomenon--and, if so, it's comforting to know that our systems put us in the realm I've heard it is as they shut down.

Second, my mother had a classic near-death experience when a drunk doctor hacked out something other than her appendix and then had her wheeled out to the coorridor of a country hospital to lay all night because he'd declared her dead. When the dayshift found she was still breathing in the morning, they had another go at her operation. She lived almost 70 more years.

She was a very practical, common sense woman, so when she said that the sensation was calm and there was heavenly music and of her sitting in a fog on a fence and knowing she'd have to fall to one side eventually and not really carring which side and had a voice tell her to fall back rather than forward I believe that's what happened to her.

And afterward--and consistently since then--she said the experience took away her fear of dying--that where she was was quite all right. I envy anyone who had the experience that way and then can not fear death.

 

[SweetWitch]

What a fascinating question, Molly.

Your second example reminds me of "Reach for the Sky", where Douglas Bader lies peacefully in his hospital bed and a noisy Nurse is told to quieten down; "there's a man dying in there". He was determined not to die and the pain came back with a vengeance.

A pal of mine some years ago, told me that he'd had a somewhat tricky operation following some disaster or other. He saw the light - bright and attractive, and heard friends he knew to have died calling him. He said "No; I want to see my Grandchildren grow up". When he woke up, he said, it hurt like hell!

Apparently both the surgeon and the anaesthetist expressed an interest as they feared they'd lost him.

Return of pain is a common symptom, as I've discovered. In two of my experiences, pain was the first thing I felt. In the first experience, though I knew I was likely going to die, I didn't lose consciousness. There was too much adrenalin with the whole fight-or-flight response going on. I wanted to survive and was willing to kill to do it.

 

[TE999]

I have nearly drowned on three different occasions, in a lake, a river and the ocean respectively. Each time I finally ceased to struggle and felt strangely at peace...it was like slowly drifting away into sleep. When I was rescued each time it was like being sharply jerked back into life spluttering and coughing. I wonder if it's a reliving of ones birth, coughing out the amniotic fluid and breathing air? No wonder babies cry.

I understand freezing to death elicits a similar sensation of going to sleep.

That, and other experiences in my life, have enabled me to not fear death...nor would I welcome it for no other reason than it would piss me off that I'd be missing all the fun life brings each day.

 

[SweetWitch]

I have nearly drowned on three different occasions, in a lake, a river and the ocean respectively. Each time I finally ceased to struggle and felt strangely at peace...it was like slowly drifting away into sleep. When I was rescued each time it was like being sharply jerked back into life spluttering and coughing. I wonder if it's a reliving of ones birth, coughing out the amniotic fluid and breathing air? No wonder babies cry.

I understand freezing to death elicits a similar sensation of going to sleep.

That, and other experiences in my life, have enabled me to not fear death...nor would I welcome it for no other reason than it would piss me off that I'd be missing all the fun life brings each day.

Fun like that AV you're sporting?

 

[TE999]

Fun like that AV you're sporting?

As a matter of fact, yes. It's so deliciously ghoulish. None of these namby-pamby pumpkins and sissy black cats for this dudes' Halloween.

 

[SweetWitch]

As a matter of fact, yes. It's so deliciously ghoulish. None of these namby-pamby pumpkins and sissy black cats for this dudes' Halloween.

Talk about near-death...

I need to change my AV for the season.

 

[TE999]

Talk about near-death...

I need to change my AV for the season.

Yes indeedy. You are a witch after all and this is your time to strut your stuff. Hex somebody, make a child's eyes cross, dry up a cow, dance naked with Old Scratch in the moonlight, brew a love potion, do Immelmann turns on your broom...those sort of witchy things.

 

[SweetWitch]

Yes indeedy. You are a witch after all and this is your time to strut your stuff. Hex somebody, make a child's eyes cross, dry up a cow, dance naked with Old Scratch in the moonlight, brew a love potion, do Immelmann turns on your broom...those sort of witchy things.

Or just fly around naked?

Your earlier post reminded me of another time I came close to death, when I was 15. Waterskiing on the Illinois is treacherous. I hit a snag and went down, got tangled in ropes and brush and was trapped underwater.

It's a strange sensation to look up at the surface and know you can't get to the sweet air beyond, to see the faces of people in a boat looking down at you and grinning, waiting for you to pop your head up. You can watch all this in slow motion and believe it will be the last thing you ever see on earth.

 

[TE999]

Or just fly around naked?

Your earlier post reminded me of another time I came close to death, when I was 15. Waterskiing on the Illinois is treacherous. I hit a snag and went down, got tangled in ropes and brush and was trapped underwater.

It's a strange sensation to look up at the surface and know you can't get to the sweet air beyond, to see the faces of people in a boat looking down at you and grinning, waiting for you to pop your head up. You can watch all this in slow motion and believe it will be the last thing you ever see on earth.

Slo-mo seems to be characteristic of a non-violent death...it's like you're looking at yourself dying and you're not involved.

I had a viral infection when I was around 11yo that gave me an absolutely raging fever...damn close to brain damage territory...the doc did what he could but told my Mom I'd have to ride it out...I had an out of body experience where I was looking down at myself tossing in bed half concious...I wanted to go, but then decided to stay and went back inside myself...next day the fever broke and I was back to normal.

 

[TxRad]

Slo-mo seems to be characteristic of a non-violent death...it's like you're looking at yourself dying and you're not involved.

Flipping a sprint car at over a hundred and fifty miles an hour is as far from non-violent as you can get believe me. The brain slows down what is happening around you but the brain itself is running at about a hundred and fifty percent, thought wise. A very strange feeling. You feel every bump and thump, the g-forces, the compression and decompression.

Strangely the thought of dying or being hurt never entered my mind. Only afterward did that part really hit me. The wound of, should of, could of, was worse than the actual event.

With all the stupid shit and other dangerous things I've done all my life, I've never had a near death experience. I'm thankful on the one hand and consider myself lucky on the other. That or I was just to dumb to realize I was about to die. Being crazy is sometimes a very good thing.

 

[SweetWitch]

Flipping a sprint car at over a hundred and fifty miles an hour is as far from non-violent as you can get believe me. The brain slows down what is happening around you but the brain itself is running at about a hundred and fifty percent, thought wise. A very strange feeling. You feel every bump and thump, the g-forces, the compression and decompression.

Strangely the thought of dying or being hurt never entered my mind. Only afterward did that part really hit me. The wound of, should of, could of, was worse than the actual event.

With all the stupid shit and other dangerous things I've done all my life, I've never had a near death experience. I'm thankful on the one hand and consider myself lucky on the other. That or I was just to dumb to realize I was about to die. Being crazy is sometimes a very good thing.

This is the sort of stuff I'm looking for.

 

[WRJames]

I had an experience the summer is was 18 that was not classic near death, but it was quite unusual.

I was home for the summer, working for my father. I was delivering some blueprints across town to a contractor. I should mention that at school I was living in a dorm about a block from St. Luke's hospital, so I was competely insensitive to sirens. There were ambulances and other emergency vehicles going past all the time.

So imagine my surprise when I made what should have been a routine left turn, and nearly swiped a cop on a motorcycle coming down the wrong lane. Behind him, about a hundred feet away, was an ambulance, heading at me at considerable speed.

The fact that I am telling you this story (and it is a true one) would suggest that something remarkable happened next. Some of the other posts have talked about how time seemed to slow in the face of death. For me, it literally stopped. What must have been less than a second seemed to be more like half a minute -- time for me to read the AMBULANCE spelled out in reverse on the hood of the oncoming vehicle, to see the shock on the faces of the driver and the front seat passenger. Time enough to see that there was room between two trees on the side to slide in my car and avoid a collision.

And so I am here.

 

[SweetWitch]

I had an experience the summer is was 18 that was not classic near death, but it was quite unusual.

I was home for the summer, working for my father. I was delivering some blueprints across town to a contractor. I should mention that at school I was living in a dorm about a block from St. Luke's hospital, so I was competely insensitive to sirens. There were ambulances and other emergency vehicles going past all the time.

So imagine my surprise when I made what should have been a routine left turn, and nearly swiped a cop on a motorcycle coming down the wrong lane. Behind him, about a hundred feet away, was an ambulance, heading at me at considerable speed.

The fact that I am telling you this story (and it is a true one) would suggest that something remarkable happened next. Some of the other posts have talked about how time seemed to slow in the face of death. For me, it literally stopped. What must have been less than a second seemed to be more like half a minute -- time for me to read the AMBULANCE spelled out in reverse on the hood of the oncoming vehicle, to see the shock on the faces of the driver and the front seat passenger. Time enough to see that there was room between two trees on the side to slide in my car and avoid a collision.

And so I am here.

This is great. I thank you for sharing. I've discovered that a person can live a lifetime in that split second before impact. The mind races, the heart pumps a furious crescendo. At such times there is clarity that isn't with us in normal day-to-day mundacity.