Relocating a sub

[iwillmindU]

As a sub, i can tell you that i know and have actually experienced relocation to be with a Dominant on numerous occasions. About 15 times or so, i can't even remember how many times that i have done it really. That is because the sub is not with her Dominant, and must be brought to them. i have arrived at unsafe situations and been forced to leave immediately for safety reasons. i have been with a Dominant on more than one occasion where i was dismissed and abandoned, left to fend for myself and thrown onto the street with nothing. Then normal relationship breakups and divorces. i have had all of these things happen in my lifetime.

A Dom/sub 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) is by any other name a real relationship. i have demanded and received a wedding proposal made on one knee by a Dominant bowing before me in humility, with a ring in her hand. i have entered into contracts and other means of chattel and legal slavery multiple times to become slut, secretary, housekeeper, fuck toy and other things. i would have to judge the terms of the relationship and the commitment before i could give an answer as to whether or not i WOULD relocate. Of course, i never pay my own relocation expenses.

i have never owned or managed my own place to live. Since age 14, my life has been lived in the home of the One who rules me; as it should be. There is not a question as to whether or not i would relocate; the question is whether or not i would become a sub to You.

Leslie

 

[Sir_Winston54]

This should probably be relocated to the Personals page.

 

[iwillmindU]

Some people can use this information. Because one Dominant does not believe it to be useful is only one person's opinion on what i have written, nothing more or less. Any Dominant who thinks that a 24/7 TPE relationship is easy, simple, or a game is just a player. Relocating a sub generally requires someone to pay the cost of the relocation. How that cost is paid is best determined by an arrangement that is mutually agreeable to the parties involved. If that is the description of a personals ad, well then, i guess i have not gone to the school that teaches such great and interesting knowledge...

 

[the captians wench]

Some people can use this information. Because one Dominant does not believe it to be useful is only one person's opinion on what i have written, nothing more or less. Any Dominant who thinks that a 24/7 TPE relationship is easy, simple, or a game is just a player. Relocating a sub generally requires someone to pay the cost of the relocation. How that cost is paid is best determined by an arrangement that is mutually agreeable to the parties involved. If that is the description of a personals ad, well then, i guess i have not gone to the school that teaches such great and interesting knowledge...

Your opening post just reads like a personal ad is all. There's no question to it, no spot to jump in and start debate. I thought you were asking for some one to contact you to relocate you myself.

I'm curious though, what is it that drives you to want to be relocated? Especially leaving so much in the hands of another, the potential to be tossed out with thursday morning trash and left with nothing but the clothes on your back. Do you have another means of taking care of yourself? Other than bouncing from one top to the next depending on them for food, shelter and everything else?

I'm not trying to mock you honestly. I'm curious as to the motivation behind these kinds of situations.

 

[HarlotMinx]

As a sub, i can tell you that i know and have actually experienced relocation to be with a Dominant on numerous occasions. About 15 times or so, i can't even remember how many times that i have done it really. That is because the sub is not with her Dominant, and must be brought to them. i have arrived at unsafe situations and been forced to leave immediately for safety reasons. i have been with a Dominant on more than one occasion where i was dismissed and abandoned, left to fend for myself and thrown onto the street with nothing. Then normal relationship breakups and divorces. i have had all of these things happen in my lifetime.

A Dom/sub 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) is by any other name a real relationship. i have demanded and received a wedding proposal made on one knee by a Dominant bowing before me in humility, with a ring in her hand. i have entered into contracts and other means of chattel and legal slavery multiple times to become slut, secretary, housekeeper, fuck toy and other things. i would have to judge the terms of the relationship and the commitment before i could give an answer as to whether or not i WOULD relocate. Of course, i never pay my own relocation expenses.

i have never owned or managed my own place to live. Since age 14, my life has been lived in the home of the One who rules me; as it should be. There is not a question as to whether or not i would relocate; the question is whether or not i would become a sub to You.

Leslie

I wonder, it sounds like you've been going into unsafe positions and even divorced multiple times.... How well are you getting to know these dominants before relocation? Also, (and don't answer this if it's too personal) do you have a college degree or consistent work experience? And you say you've never owned or managed a place to live? What do you do in the interim of going to house to house?

-poppet

 

[iwillmindU]

I wonder, it sounds like you've been going into unsafe positions and even divorced multiple times.... How well are you getting to know these dominants before relocation? Also, (and don't answer this if it's too personal) do you have a college degree or consistent work experience? And you say you've never owned or managed a place to live? What do you do in the interim of going to house to house?

-poppet

Those are reasonable things to ask me; I am an author, a researcher, a musician, an accountant, and a photographer. I have had steady employment since age 9 when I began throwing the local newspaper in my neighborhood ("newspaper, what's that?" goes the cries of the 20 somethings...). When I was between homes I worked in a manner that allowed me to travel across the country, whether it was performing or doing a job with consistent travel obligations. A lot of hotels and motels for sure. Every person that I ever subbed to I had interacted with on multiple levels for no less than at least a couple of months before I agreed to be a 24/7 sub. The relationships ranged in length from 12 years at the most to about 2 months at the least; the average length was around 18 months, really. Since age 9 I can't really remember that I did not have an income for any period longer than about two months; but I always had money to fall back on, so no big deal. No, I have never owned or managed my own space, and I don't know how it would turn out if I gave it a try. There was a time in 2001, about a month before my mother died, that I actually had the lease papers in my hand for an apartment. I held on to them and never did sign them, and then she died; I gave up the thought of my own place then.

It isn't pretty, and it isn't perfect, while at the same time it is what my life has been like.

 

[iwillmindU]

Your opening post just reads like a personal ad is all. There's no question to it, no spot to jump in and start debate. I thought you were asking for some one to contact you to relocate you myself.

I'm curious though, what is it that drives you to want to be relocated? Especially leaving so much in the hands of another, the potential to be tossed out with thursday morning trash and left with nothing but the clothes on your back. Do you have another means of taking care of yourself? Other than bouncing from one top to the next depending on them for food, shelter and everything else?

I'm not trying to mock you honestly. I'm curious as to the motivation behind these kinds of situations.

You know, I don't believe that I have the ability to decide where I should live. Maybe I do and maybe I don't. Perhaps I fear actually having to be responsible for a place of my own; you know, figuring out who to pay and when, Homeowner's associations, memberships, utilities and the like. I am good at paying the bills, just not good at organization beyond examining the needs of the One who rules me and helping them. I don't see myself as being able to accept the responsibility for myself perhaps. It just scares me too much. That's really all I can tell you honestly.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Captain, we've lost contact!

No, wait....echo niner bearing two hundred degrees!


torpedos in the water! all hands to battle stations!

 

[FurryFury]

To my way of thinking if you are constantly breaking up with people (or they, you), and unwilling to take responsibility for yourself, (which has absolutely nothing to do with D/s for me personally) you need to do some work.

This isn't an attack. This is just advice which you can use or not as you chose. I think you need to be more in touch with you and not fob your life off on another under the guise of D/s. I think if you take charge of learning about yourself you are much more likely to find a lasting and happier relationship in the future.

 

[rida]

To my way of thinking if you are constantly breaking up with people (or they, you), and unwilling to take responsibility for yourself, (which has absolutely nothing to do with D/s for me personally) you need to do some work.

This isn't an attack. This is just advice which you can use or not as you chose. I think you need to be more in touch with you and not fob your life off on another under the guise of D/s. I think if you take charge of learning about yourself you are much more likely to find a lasting and happier relationship in the future.

But than again she might be happy just like this; with relationships running their course and her moving on to the next one.

 

[satindesire]

You were -14- when you started sleeping with your Dom/me?!

You relocated yourself at 14 years old. Where were your parents?!

Wtf.

Should this story be allowed here? I thought underage sex wasn't a topic that was frowned upon on this site?

 

[Etoile]

To my way of thinking if you are constantly breaking up with people (or they, you), and unwilling to take responsibility for yourself, (which has absolutely nothing to do with D/s for me personally) you need to do some work.

This isn't an attack. This is just advice which you can use or not as you chose. I think you need to be more in touch with you and not fob your life off on another under the guise of D/s. I think if you take charge of learning about yourself you are much more likely to find a lasting and happier relationship in the future.

Seconded. Happily, the OP has requested information elsewhere about a therapist, I've pointed em in the direction of the Kink-Aware Professionals list.

 

[YourCaptor]

I'm curious though, what is it that drives you to want to be relocated? Especially leaving so much in the hands of another, the potential to be tossed out with thursday morning trash and left with nothing but the clothes on your back. Do you have another means of taking care of yourself? Other than bouncing from one top to the next depending on them for food, shelter and everything else?

That is hot...

I wish I head the means to relocate a sub/slave. Have my pick of the litter.

It is ridiculously expensive to keep a human, and I just don't know how I would do it. I got trouble feeding myself. With jobs hard to come by as they are, everything is uncertain.

Maybe when I have my degree.

 

[HarlotMinx]

That is hot...

I wish I head the means to relocate a sub/slave. Have my pick of the litter.

It is ridiculously expensive to keep a human, and I just don't know how I would do it. I got trouble feeding myself. With jobs hard to come by as they are, everything is uncertain.

Maybe when I have my degree.

Pick of the litter?

 

[YourCaptor]

Pick of the litter?

Yes, as in a choice not limited by geography. The whole population. Its an expression for getting the top choice out of something.

 

[iwillmindU]

Most subs that are in 24/7 TPE relationships share the cost of helping to maintain a household through either their own assets or by holding down a regular job, like the majority of people in the US do, each and every day. i have been a professional, degreed person (graduated summa cum laude with a 4.0 GPA) since graduating from college in 1983; fully capable of contributing to a household maintenance budget. It is humorous to see the aversion to actually having to take a financial stake in the relocation of a sub from many of the respondents to the OP. On a few occasions, it was the allure of a Domme with just so much assertiveness that i could not fight her mental pull on me, and i did the rebound thing a couple of times. On other occasions, it was a slow process of relocation for me, as i evaluated my prospects for the options available to me at that particular time.

After all of these years in the lifestyle, it is obvious that i enjoy it. That fact, in and of itself, makes me neither good nor bad, in the grand scheme of things. When it comes to getting the "pick of the litter", as it was so aptly put, the Rolling Stones would say, "You can't always get what you want". Some people have to drive Chevrolets, and some people can afford to drive Bentleys. Odds on, both parties have much greater control over the transition process if they agree to a mutually satisfactory arrangement, between them, that suits their needs. The OP never said that Dommes should pay every time that they relocate a sub. It was simply stated that i do not pay my relocation expenses; not a hard concept to grasp for even a high school graduate.

 

[Cattypuss]

I totally don't understand the point of this thread. Why was the original post made? Just attention-seeking?

 

[MisterSir]

I totally don't understand the point of this thread. Why was the original post made? Just attention-seeking?

Your guess is about as good as mine, just seems like an all-round strange thread that's hovering somewhere around the corner of wrong. Seriously, 14? Really?

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

As a sub, i can tell you that i know and have actually experienced relocation to be with a Dominant on numerous occasions. About 15 times or so, i can't even remember how many times that i have done it really. That is because the sub is not with her Dominant, and must be brought to them. i have arrived at unsafe situations and been forced to leave immediately for safety reasons. i have been with a Dominant on more than one occasion where i was dismissed and abandoned, left to fend for myself and thrown onto the street with nothing. Then normal relationship breakups and divorces. i have had all of these things happen in my lifetime.

A Dom/sub 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) is by any other name a real relationship. i have demanded and received a wedding proposal made on one knee by a Dominant bowing before me in humility, with a ring in her hand. i have entered into contracts and other means of chattel and legal slavery multiple times to become slut, secretary, housekeeper, fuck toy and other things. i would have to judge the terms of the relationship and the commitment before i could give an answer as to whether or not i WOULD relocate. Of course, i never pay my own relocation expenses.

i have never owned or managed my own place to live. Since age 14, my life has been lived in the home of the One who rules me; as it should be. There is not a question as to whether or not i would relocate; the question is whether or not i would become a sub to You.

Leslie

Those aren't serious 24/7 TPE relationships. Those are flings.

 

[iwillmindU]

Those aren't serious 24/7 TPE relationships. Those are flings.

One of my 24/7 TPE relationships was also a committed marriage, 12 years in length. That's one mighty long fling...The point is that if you are serious about being with another person in a 24/7 TPE, then there is an extremely high probability that both of you are not living on the same street, perhaps not in the same city, when you first meet. If it is to be, then someone has to move. People that simply write about D/s, without living it, wouldn't be concerned about the prospect, hence their inability to understand why a person would relocate. Of all of the respondents to the OP, have any of you actually moved to be with anyone else? My best guess is that you have. Then the question becomes: Why? The greatest gift in the world is true submission to the one you love, in totality. If you are in love with someone, then you want to be with the one you love; plain and simple. If you are a lifestyle person, as i am, then you go into your relationships with all of your person, not withholding even a dream from your partner. Living in the same space with my Domme means that i have to be there for Her to teach me those things that i don't yet comprehend or understand, which means getting there, one way or another, in the manner in which we decide together. Some people will just pay their own way to get to their Master or Mistress, and some won't. Sometimes the cost is shared to varying degrees by both Mistress and sub. A discussion of the things that go along with moving, that involve embarking on a 24/7 TPE is exceptionally important FOR THOSE WHO LIVE THE LIFE. And if it isn't important, then you have never been a Mistress, a Master, or a slave to one. And that is just the way it is.

Different viewpoints on topics of importance to the different lifestyle communities are one of the reasons that this area of Literotica exists for the membership. You got a problem with that? Go check yourself. My bringing the topic up is not the problem here. The only problem with the topic would be your desire for it not to be discussed. So, why is that, huh?

 

[iwillmindU]

Your guess is about as good as mine, just seems like an all-round strange thread that's hovering somewhere around the corner of wrong. Seriously, 14? Really?

See Post #20 please. And what, about being 14 and being a sub to an adult Domme in a leather household? It's my life, a choice that I made, and I don't regret it. Yes, really...next...

 

[CutieMouse]

See Post #20 please. And what, about being 14 and being a sub to an adult Domme in a leather household? It's my life, a choice that I made, and I don't regret it. Yes, really...next...

The point is that discussions of underage relationships are against Lit rules. Some silliness about the site owners not wanting to be sued/end up in jail/the site shut down... it would be a nice gesture if you'd remove [minor] ages from your posts, please.

 

[DarkestNyte]

Everyone has a past but there are a few rules here in Lit about things that aren't discussed. So, while you may not regret living your life the way you have I can't believe that you would be at all surprised that many people will not be comfortable, even here, discussing some what you're talking about.

I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, but if you are not expecting judgement from others you're in the wrong place, trust me. There are good people here though if you're willing to wade though waters...

good luck.

 

[Netzach]

I'm just one of those insane lunatics who believes that the fruits of slave labor are handled and yes *enjoyed* at the Owner's discretion. So the likelihood of my paying the relocation expenses of someone capable of paying their own if they're supposed to be my slave is nil. If they're incapable of paying their own, but I believe them of exceptional non material benefit to my life, then it's another matter.

I also don't want people in my house, in my stuff and in my face 24/7. None of them, so that kind of symbiosis that is often an expectation is in need of a rude wake-up in my world. A slave has its quarters, close but never too close. In the case of my slave there are blood relation obligations that must be fulfilled before up and jetting off to my city, but it's getting closer to deadline and I'm pleased with that.

I'm not interested in starry eyed love, I'm not interested in the fragile incapable of making a decision butterfly for my collection. I want someone who *needs* to serve me, tangibly to my benefit in the ways my life demands. Not according to their fantasies of what service might be like, and what their projections of me might be. Someone capable enough to be flexible, responsive, delegate-able and independent enough to maintain between directives.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm just one of those insane lunatics who believes that the fruits of slave labor are handled and yes *enjoyed* at the Owner's discretion. So the likelihood of my paying the relocation expenses of someone capable of paying their own if they're supposed to be my slave is nil. If they're incapable of paying their own, but I believe them of exceptional non material benefit to my life, then it's another matter.

I also don't want people in my house, in my stuff and in my face 24/7. None of them, so that kind of symbiosis that is often an expectation is in need of a rude wake-up in my world. A slave has its quarters, close but never too close. In the case of my slave there are blood relation obligations that must be fulfilled before up and jetting off to my city, but it's getting closer to deadline and I'm pleased with that.

I'm not interested in starry eyed love, I'm not interested in the fragile incapable of making a decision butterfly for my collection. I want someone who *needs* to serve me, tangibly to my benefit in the ways my life demands. Not according to their fantasies of what service might be like, and what their projections of me might be. Someone capable enough to be flexible, responsive, delegate-able and independent enough to maintain between directives.

I always felt like if you really had a deep passion for being with some one you wouldn't wait around for them to finance the move. I didn't. When people told me I was stupid for buying my own ticket to visit my Love, I asked them why? I always heard soemthing along the lines of "if a man really wanted me that badly he'd pay for everything". I would respond "but what if I need him just as badly?"

It's not like I wasn't getting anything out of the trip. Actually I got all I wanted and more, most importantly I got time with him face to face. So what if I spent more money on the trip or he did? Why does that even matter?

I had one guy tell me once "Why should I pay for something I can have my slave buy?"

*shrug*