Religious issues

[fifty5]

ding ding ding ding ding....

When I get like this I can't even come. I can screw, but it's... boring. We'll, it's nice to be able to give my wife pleasure, which gives me the warm fuzzies, but I can't get over the erotic barrier.

Concentrate on your wife's POV. At the first level, you are giving her a thrill. Good, no? Now apply that to yourself: if this basically physical stimulation is good for her, why shouldn't the same apply to you too? Maybe there are 'agony aunt' considerations about reciprocity - after you've satisfied her, she's allowed to satisfy you (and it might well involve some fucking hard work - effort in some way - on both sides).

It might need her to dress as a schoolgirl, or some tablets, or a psychotherapist, but you have just as much 'right' to come as she (or anyone else for that matter) does.

This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with theology, except inside your own mind - which is amenable to change in many, many ways.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

ARW, not to minimize in the slightest the spiritual aspects of what you're struggling with, but I've got a niggling suspicion that you're significantly (i.e., clinically) depressed.

If you think that might be correct (and there are any number of reasonably good depression checklists online, so I won't bother you with a symptom list), I'd suggest you see someone professionally first. It's nearly impossible, in my experience, to resolve religious, spiritual, or existential crises if the brain chemistry is out of balance.

And, if I'm wrong and you wind up with a clean bill of health, that's one less thing to concern you.

Currently in counseling. I have been depressed since i was 8 and my cat died. But I also have horrible anxiety and panic issues, so it becomes a question of what to treat. Right now i'm trying to treat my anxiety.

I go to work every day fearing that i'm about to be summarily fired. that all my friends are going to abandon me. heck, i went along with this Christianity thing for so long because i was afraid of my friends abandoning me if i didn't.

Anyway... i am seeing someone and trying to get help.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

It might need her to dress as a schoolgirl, or some tablets, or a psychotherapist, but you have just as much 'right' to come as she (or anyone else for that matter) does.

My most powerful sexual fantasy involves me or her of both of us shrinking to the size of dolls... not sure how to accomplish that

 

[Stella_Omega]

Currently in counseling. I have been depressed since i was 8 and my cat died. But I also have horrible anxiety and panic issues, so it becomes a question of what to treat. Right now i'm trying to treat my anxiety.

I go to work every day fearing that i'm about to be summarily fired. that all my friends are going to abandon me. heck, i went along with this Christianity thing for so long because i was afraid of my friends abandoning me if i didn't.

Anyway... i am seeing someone and trying to get help.

Talk to your psychiatrist about the herb Kava-Kava, or, if you aren't on any meds, go track the stuff down It's amazingly effective against panic, and allows you a full range of emotions-- lets you work things out in your mind with a bit more equanimity.

My most powerful sexual fantasy involves me or her of both of us shrinking to the size of dolls... not sure how to accomplish that

That's why we write!

 

[Guest]

Currently in counseling. I have been depressed since i was 8 and my cat died. But I also have horrible anxiety and panic issues, so it becomes a question of what to treat. Right now i'm trying to treat my anxiety.

I go to work every day fearing that i'm about to be summarily fired. that all my friends are going to abandon me. heck, i went along with this Christianity thing for so long because i was afraid of my friends abandoning me if i didn't.

Anyway... i am seeing someone and trying to get help.

Then you're obviously a very strong person. Most people couldn't deal with that degree of emotional distress day in and day out and still remain functional.

Obviously, you already know there's no magic bullet or phrase that will miraculously make things perfect for you; I wish I could help on that score. I'd second the suggestion that you find something in which to believe and to have faith in while you're sorting out those other things.

Luck, and take care.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

That's why we write!

Shrinking fantasies seem to be a very... niche fetish. Would there be an audience here?

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

Then you're obviously a very strong person. Most people couldn't deal with that degree of emotional distress day in and day out and still remain functional.

There's functional and there functional. I've pushed a lot of friends away with my histrionics.

The times that really fuck you over is when they just stop returning phone calls and cut you out of their life without so much as an explanation.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

two things:

Religion is not necessary to have social conventions that place certain types of sexual behavior beyond the pale. Atheists can think certain behaviors are verboten.

Increasingly today, no sexual acts between consenting adults are considered beyond the pale. Curiously, the removal of the "naughtiness" factor, the near-extinction of the species once called "forbidden fruit," means the loss of one important source of porn's appeal for many people. I'm sure this is part of why incest is so popular here - it's the only cat that's still about forbidden fruit.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Shrinking fantasies seem to be a very... niche fetish. Would there be an audience here?

Well, I imagine that if one person per city, maybe wants to read that, that's tens of thousands of potential readers, right?

And someone here was talking about rebirthing fantasies, which might have a similar audience.

And you yourself would enjoy elaborating on your favorite theme, wouldn't you?

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

Increasingly today, no sexual acts between consenting adults are considered beyond the pale. Curiously, the removal of the "naughtiness" factor, the near-extinction of the species once called "forbidden fruit," means the loss of one important source of porn's appeal for many people. I'm sure this is part of why incest is so popular here - it's the only cat that's still about forbidden fruit.

In the spirit of acceptance that is the forum, i won't say what i think of people who write incest stories.

 

[fifty5]

Who's to say that what we experience here on Earth is not Hell?

There is no order in the universe, it is a chaotic and unordered place. There are, however, some rules by which the chaos does come about. But who's to say that those rules are constant throughout the universe. Who's to say they don't change in other parts of the universe.

Most of that, as I understand it Zeb, is a matter of science rather than theology. By which I mean that it is amenable to the collection and evaluation of evidence as opposed to belief without evidence (faith).

I'm not saying that either the collection or evaluation processes are yet complete - though observations so far support the idea that physics and maths apply in an exactly constant way across the universe (subject to refinement in the same way as Einstein's description of gravity refines that of Newton).

Certainly chaos does exist, but Chaos Theory offers a way to apply a universal rationale to that, even if the individual equations can't be solved.

Physics isn't complete: we haven't yet found the unified field theory - and quantum physics is definitely an 'out of mind experience' - but nothing yet suggests to me that science is inadequate, requiring faith rather than more exploration of evidence.

ARW does have a problem, but the current lack of empirical evidence is a problem that we - humans - are working on with every indication that if enough bucks are spent and intelligence applied, the right answer will emerge.

My own agnosticism, such as it is, applies to the fact that the existence of the human race - and the whole universe - depends upon the values of about half a dozen universal constants. Why should they have the values that they do?

I want to believe that they are what they are simply because they are what they are, but a part of me could accept that they are what they are because some ineffable being so decreed.

After such decree was made, (unless they were to change in unreasonable ways) the behaviour of the universe, subject to Chaos (which allows Free Will), is immutable - so the 'power of prayer' is purely psychological: a product of the biochemistry of the brain.

That can be changed by chemical or (psycho)logical means.

 

[Stella_Omega]

two things:

Religion is not necessary to have social conventions that place certain types of sexual behavior beyond the pale. Atheists can think certain behaviors are verboten.

Increasingly today, no sexual acts between consenting adults are considered beyond the pale. Curiously, the removal of the "naughtiness" factor, the near-extinction of the species once called "forbidden fruit," means the loss of one important source of porn's appeal for many people. I'm sure this is part of why incest is so popular here - it's the only cat that's still about forbidden fruit.

I know that Ami has lamented the lack of taboos. Sex just isn't the same without them for some people.

(I was reading "cats are forbidden fruit" and thinking fuzzy, tailed, apples?)

 

[CWatson]

Shrinking fantasies seem to be a very... niche fetish. Would there be an audience here?

I think there's an audience for any fetish presented in a story that's well-written. After all, we all have to discover our fetishes, which for everybody is a process of trying something on and seeing if it fits. We never thought (feet / anal sex / shrinking to doll size) would turn us on, but hey, as it turns out!...

There's functional and there functional. I've pushed a lot of friends away with my histrionics.

The times that really fuck you over is when they just stop returning phone calls and cut you out of their life without so much as an explanation.

At the beginning of this year I met a woman who, very quickly, started calling me her best friend. I didn't mind that; she was mine too. Within four months of that, she wasn't answering my calls or e-mails. In this case I DO have an explanation--I met her boyfriend, and heard her wax rhapsodic about how happy they are together--but there it goes nonetheless. My feeling is, if they really think that little of you, you're well shut of them. =/ (The problem is losing too many friends this way.)

One thing that helps me with bouts of anxiety is thinking the situation out directly. Take the worst possible thing that could happen--let's say, you getting fired. Figure out how it could happen: figure out exactly what series of events could make it happen. Then, think about the series of events that probably will happen. Disaster may be more picturesque than the everyday mundane, but that doesn't make it more likely--or, for that matter, likely at all.

 

[fifty5]

My most powerful sexual fantasy involves me or her of both of us shrinking to the size of dolls... not sure how to accomplish that

Measurement is relative to other objects, whether that means the size of the house or the International Standard Metre. Maybe buying a HUGE bed (or similar) might address this one?

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

At the beginning of this year I met a woman who, very quickly, started calling me her best friend. I didn't mind that; she was mine too. Within four months of that, she wasn't answering my calls or e-mails.

I'm talking about a friend of 12 years. I was at his wedding, and he at mine. We'd shared living space, and many a beer and late-night conversation.

I kinda sorta shredded his religious culture to bits and pieces, but he could at least have answered the phone or returned a call or given some explanation or something. I didn't know if he was alive or dead.

Actually, i still don't.

 

[3113]

] But I also have horrible anxiety and panic issues, so it becomes a question of what to treat. Right now i'm trying to treat my anxiety.

Anxiety and panic attacks are a real medical and chemical problem that can be helped with certain drugs. I'm glad you told us about this, as it's rare that anything someone says--in print or verbally--can calm someone down from fears amplified by anxiety attacks. It'd be like trying to ease fears that you believe are making you throw up, when, in reality, you've got a stomach illness and need medicine to help you get better.

What we say about a loving god, or faith, or sex might make you feel a little better, but it's doubtful that anything we say is going to solve the problem. Drugs will.

As said, this is not meant to trivialize your worry over your agnosticism, but it seems likely that your questions about your faith may have given your anxiety/depression something to fixate on, rather than causing either. Anxiety and panic attacks latch onto anything, but they arise from a chemical--and possibly hereditary problem. You may well have real fears to discuss and deal with including questions of faith, but you can't know how damaging to your sex life your agnosticism is if you don't first get other, more likely causes out of the way. And panic attacks/anxiety/depression are very real killers of erotic feelings.

I know many people who have anxiety and panic attacks, and they've all found that certain meds have significantly helped. Most of all, such meds helped them separate real and genuine fears from less reasonable fears amplified by the attacks, and, more often than not, gave them back their sex lives.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

Measurement is relative to other objects, whether that means the size of the house or the International Standard Metre. Maybe buying a HUGE bed (or similar) might address this one?

A set of progressively larger clothes would be the first step.

http://home.att.net/~nomdreserv/Stories/nam3.html

This still makes me cover the room in a sticky layer.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I know that Ami has lamented the lack of taboos. Sex just isn't the same without them for some people.

(I was reading "cats are forbidden fruit" and thinking fuzzy, tailed, apples?)

I remember a discussion about someone not being able to write straight sex because it's so "white bread." (Which I laughingly copped-to myself, with both parites making clear that they weren't making any "value judgements." )

 

[Stella_Omega]

A set of progressively larger clothes would be the first step.

http://home.att.net/~nomdreserv/Stories/nam3.html

This still makes me cover the room in a sticky layer.

Is it yours, or someone else's? Becaise, there's obviously more than one of you out there...

I remember a discussion about someone not being able to write straight sex because it's so "white bread." (Which I laughingly copped-to myself, with both parites making clear that they weren't making any "value judgements." )

Was that me?

I do write straight sex, a little...

 

[fifty5]

In the spirit of acceptance that is the forum, i won't say what i think of people who write incest stories.

Scientifically speaking (meaning based upon evidence rather than prejudice or faith), incestuous reproduction can reinforce undesirable genetic traits such as haemophilia.

Apparently, that was noticed long before the relevant theoretical science had been developed and accordingly incest was enshrined in a religious taboo. Given adequate contraceptive technology, there is now no reason for incestuous sex - as opposed to incestuous reproduction - to be taboo at all.

Except as superstition.

My own 'incest' story is also homosexual - two sisters - so there is no reproductive risk whatsoever. My own choice of category was Group Sex, but the Powers That Be decreed the more popular one. I don't complain: it has the most views, the most votes and the highest rating of anything I've written. See below.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

I know many people who have anxiety and panic attacks, and they've all found that certain meds have significantly helped. Most of all, such meds helped them separate real and genuine fears from less reasonable fears amplified by the attacks, and, more often than not, gave them back their sex lives.

I hope I find something that works. At this point I've tried so many meds I'm a walking PDR.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

My own 'incest' story is also homosexual - two sisters - so there is no reproductive risk whatsoever. My own choice of category was Group Sex, but the Powers That Be decreed the more popular one. I don't complain: it has the most views, the most votes and the highest rating of anything I've written. See below.

For some reason homosexual incest doesn't bother me that much... I think it's the parent/child stuff that pegs the creep-o-meter, like, what horrible unresolved issues do you have?

I'm odd amongst (mostly) straight males in that lesbian love scenes don't really do much for me.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

Is it yours, or someone else's? Becaise, there's obviously more than one of you out there...

Someone else's. This is also someone else's:

http://www.process-productions.com/~catster/

Start with page 3. holy. fucking. shit.

 

[fifty5]

For some reason homosexual incest doesn't bother me that much... I think it's the parent/child stuff that pegs the creep-o-meter, like, what horrible unresolved issues do you have?

Since you ask, mine is why bother to stay alive at all - probably requiring reduction in tobacco and alcohol abuse.

I'm odd amongst (mostly) straight males in that lesbian love scenes don't really do much for me.

The odds against participative experience are high, but having bucked those odds, I've found it works in practice - at least for me.

It's still a matter of personal preference - sex happens more between the ears than between the pubes!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Someone else's. This is also someone else's:

http://www.process-productions.com/~catster/

Start with page 3. holy. fucking. shit.

Well, there's your answer-- there's a niche for you.

A friend of mine wondered why two pages of her webcomic were getting so many hits-- it turned out that some process fetish group had found them;
http://www.letterstoawildboar.com/index.php?date=2007-02-11
http://www.letterstoawildboar.com/index.php?date=2007-02-12

Not quite what your looking for, I know, but thought I'd add it to the conversation