Religious difficulties

[Ms_Lilith]

.

 

[Lost Cause]

You feeling guilty is exactly how the Church of Rome keeps it's power. How guilty do those priests feel while preaching hellfire and damnation, while all the time molesting children in their confidence!
Live, Love, and Laugh! Your own heart will tell you what's right or not. You ask your God to provide you guidance, don't ask some religious pedophile/hypocrite, whose only objective is to guilt you into not straying!
Follow your own path. Good luck!

 

[phrodeau]

I think the problem lies in your perception that sin is something wrong. Most religions make it clear that sin is a normal aspect of being human. Guilty feelings, however, are not. Acknowledge your humanity with all of its sinful nature, and accept your sexuality as a generous gift.

 

[BooMerengue]

Vixen......Don't worry so much! You'll screw up your sex life! I too was raised in a very Catholic home but I guess I was just lucky! What does your Baltimore Catechism say about sin? It says a sin is something that hurts God, your neighbor or yourself.Are you doing any of those things? St. Paul is famous for saying better to marry than to burn, but he was actually talking about celibacy and the Priesthood. He also said sins of the spirit are far greater than sins of the flesh. This doesn't give you license to be a slut, but you we're given needs for a reason. Sex is NOT just for procreation, but is also an expression of deep feeling for another. So relax, girl.....and be free!

 

[phrodeau]

Lost Cause, I don't think that was very helpful.

 

[dreamer]

You've got mail...

Check your PMs and hang in there

 

[freescorfr]

Hi all,
I was born into a very Catholic family, and was raised Catholic, and I still believe much of the stuff that I was taught as a kid and youth, but I have troubles with some of the teachings.

... I guess my basic question is this: Has anyone else out there struggled between their religion and their sexuality? If so, please shout out, it'd be nice to know that there are people out there who understand.

Anywho, thought I'd ask for some help,
Vix

Vixenshe, As a Catholic, and you'll find plenty on Lit., I realise that the church's teaching on sexuality is totally screwed up.
As a positive suggestion, rather than my just slagging off the centuries of doctrine emanating from sexually repressed male clerics, I suggest that you renounce all the aspects of the teaching of the Catholic Church that have been or are bad for you personally.

If you do this you will find that the good things really are good, have energy and have life.

So how do you renounce? One way is to write on a big sheet of paper all the things you have been told to believe which you certainly know are not for you, e.g.

masturbation is a sin

sexual feelings for another woman are wrong


sexual expression must only take place within a marriage

etc. etc.


Then take these bits of paper and leave them inside the confessional or wherever you think appropriate since you are giving back to the church what has been bad for you.


Next you choose an object to symbolise your desire to be sexually and emotionally fulfilled. Look around, take your time, and find the object that symbolises this desire, or whatever desire you have most clearly within you with respect to your sexuality. The take care of the object - take it to mass with you. Carress it, look after it, put it in a nice place: it represents what is important to you.

These steps of self-affirmation, in the face of the massive social, institutional and religious force of the church, might well help you in your own personal and spiritual growth.

 

[sch00lteacher]

One of the nice things about the Catholic Church is there is a way to absolve your sins. You know what it is. Why feel guilty? Confess. No, I am not a Catholic, but the wife is. She felt the same way while we were dating. Confess, do your acts of contrition, and carry on. Admit your guilt, don't let it destroy you. Then it is gone. I know you will feel better.

I do not call sex a sin. I wasn't there when they (who ever they are) sat down and came up with the list of sins. Not every religion views pre-marital sex the same way.

I wish other religions had it so easy. Confess, and be absolved.

Don't denounce a whold religion for the actions of a few. We know better than that. Well we should at least.

Just because something feels good doesn't give us the right to do it under the law or under God. Do not give up your religion because you want to have a little fun. If the Christians are right, that is a sure road to hell. Follow the tenets of your religion and you will feel better. I am not telling you to give up pre-marital sex. Just admit it is wrong under your Church's beliefs. That isn't so hard. Don't throw the whold damned Church away.

freescorfr, do you have horns and a tail? Just wondering.

 

[freescorfr]

freescorfr, do you have horns and a tail? Just wondering.

It's morning here, sch00lteach. So good morning.

I always find your post enlightening since you come at things from a different angle from me.

Actually, The horny bit I don't deny, but not as horny as I was when I was younger and believed that all sexual activity, even thoughts were sinful and I had to confess every day. So I have great sympathy with vixenshe.
In fact, it was torture.

I've given up on confession in exchange for being honest with myself, and that is comfortable. But it's taken a long time. I'm really very protestant but no pope or priest or bishop is going to deny me my right to remain a Catholic.

 

[BooMerengue]

I don't think Vixen wanted to open a debate on the merits of Catholicism, and anyone who dismisses an ancient faith on the deeds of a few wayward souls doesn't really have the info Vixen needs. Vixen, girl, you already know in your heart what's right...stay with it. You'll be fine. And yes, it's true...Catholic Doctrine was/is being written by.........horrors!! MEN!!!!! Men who owned women as chattel. Thank the Goddess there are more enlightened men out there now!! TY you freescorfr. Hang in there girl, and you'll be fine. I don't think you have anything to confess, unless it's just that you doubted yourself.

 

[SweetBrat73]

I wish other religions had it so easy. Confess, and be absolved.

In the Catholic Church you don't just confess and everything is ok. That's what gets me about ppl who aren't Catholic. They think all you have to do is confess. You also have to want God to forgive you for your sin because you know you've done wrong and realize the error of your ways. You just can't go out commit murder and figure you'll just confess and everything will be ok. You have to want to be forgiven...and God knows the difference. If you don't understand the religion you shouldn't assume what things mean.


Brat

 

[christophe]

I think it is only natural for a person to feel as you do after bieng raised by any conservative religion, dosnet mean it is correct.

I always follow what i feel in my heart, it is usally easier that way!

If God will wait till the last day do judge people for their crimes, I think you can cut yourself a lil slack.

 

[sch00lteacher]

In the Catholic Church you don't just confess and everything is ok. That's what gets me about ppl who aren't Catholic. They think all you have to do is confess. You also have to want God to forgive you for your sin because you know you've done wrong and realize the error of your ways. You just can't go out commit murder and figure you'll just confess and everything will be ok. You have to want to be forgiven...and God knows the difference. If you don't understand the religion you shouldn't assume what things mean.


Brat

If you commit murder, and confess your sins, and do your acts of contrition (which would take awhile in this case), in the eyes of the Church you are absolved. Is that not the way it works? You can fix things with the Church, but not with the law. Even if you do work things out with God, you still have to deal with Caesar.

I do understand the religion, I am not making assumptions.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

I wish other religions had it so easy. Confess, and be absolved.

Actually they do its called prayer, and you don't tell your sin to man so he can get his rocks off, you talk directly with God so you can get the sin resolved

 

[freescorfr]

I wish other religions had it so easy. Confess, and be absolved.

Actually they do its called prayer, and you don't tell your sin to man so he can get his rocks off, you talk directly with God so you can get the sin resolved

Absolved, Todd. You are forgiven.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

Absolved, Todd. You are forgiven.

ummm, who died on the cross the catholic priest or God the Son Jesus?

Who do you think has more chance of absolving and forgiving your sin? A mere mortal man or God incarnate who died so that sins may be forgiven?

 

[phrodeau]

Originally posted by Todd-'o'-Vision (edited)

Who do you think has more chance of absolving and forgiving your sin? A mere mortal man or God incarnate who died so that sins may be forgiven?

Ummm, a living person?

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

Ummm, a living person?

and there is how the catholic cult holds its power from cradle to the grave and well after{purgatory and mass to pray the dead out of there, money making scheme}

 

[freescorfr]

and there is how the catholic cult holds its power from cradle to the grave and well after{purgatory and mass to pray the dead out of there, money making scheme}

No quibble about that. Indulgences were simply a tax - like you pay on cigarettes - to fight the infidel in the crusades and then to build St. Peter's.

No Catholic would disagree with you though, Todd, that it is God who forgives and the priest who absolves.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

No quibble about that. Indulgences were simply a tax - like you pay on cigarettes - to fight the infidel in the crusades and then to build St. Peter's.

No Catholic would disagree with you though, Todd, that it is God who forgives and the priest who absolves.

See thats where I differ if God can forgive the sin, if God can wash away the sin, God can alos absolve the sin. The priest wants his cut so he can jerk his rocks off on a confession of a sex sin.

 

[freescorfr]

See thats where I differ if God can forgive the sin, if God can wash away the sin, God can alos absolve the sin. The priest wants his cut so he can jerk his rocks off on a confession of a sex sin.

Absolve in this case, Todd, means simply that the priest is confirming, reassuring the penitent that God has forgiven the sin. I do feel it's probably a bit redundant these days but the notion is one from earlier social structures, where there would be an intermediary between a Lord and a pleb. - i.e. a priest.

They've more or less had their day since we have a totally different concept of authority these days. It's as if we've all grown up a bit and are ready to take more responsibility for our own lives and actions. This step towards autonomy and independence seems to me fairly natural and evolutionary and if priests are our dinosaurs, then so be it - part of our history but nothing to get worked up about.

Except that abuses leave wounds and they do need to be dealt with - by our taking steps to view ourselves as authors of our lives not as victims.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I've never much liked Cafeteria Catholicism ("I'll take a little of the Sacrements, but none of the Trilogy stuff for me, today thanks. Oh! Let me have a side helping of absolution! And can I get the faith, hope and charity, without the faith? Thanks!") You can squeeze and shove the sqaure-peg rules to fit your round hole life if you like, but eventually you no longer have religion in your life, you have a custom made life manual.

I very much suggest that you talk to a Priest, very candidly. If he's worth his salt he won't let you off the hook too easily, and will suggest that dogma is dogma, and that you will have to make certain life choices.

Which isn't neccesarily a bad thing. My wife left the Catholic Church long ago and found a sect she agrees with more. Maybe there's another Church for you. Good luck.

 

[fillmup]

Religion is nothing more than a crutch! If I needed a crutch I'd buy one!

It's just an incidious way of controlling people and gaining their money.

 

[JazzManJim]

Yes, yes...religion is horrible..blah, blah,blah.

What I'm reading from what you've said is that you have a couple problems. None of them are insurmountable problems and you've gotten a couple pieces of great advice in among the religion squishing.


I've been where you are, though. I've doubted the doctrines of my religion and I've doubted my faith. There's only one answer for that: find your faith again. How do you do that? Well, you're Catholic and that's not too awfully far removed in practice from the Baptists (though don't tell that to either of them). The first thing is to get into your Bible. Read up on the subjects which are bothering you and see what the book itself has to say. Then, take what you've found to your priest. Talk to him about it. show him what you've found. Discuss where what you've found stands with him. Often he can help you by showing you other passages you may not have seen. Above all in this, if something doesn't make sense to you - if it doesn't ring true - then ask questions. Get clarification. Get explanations so that when you leave, you have a good understanding about the subjects. Then, spend some time in prayer. Take what you've learned and talk to God about it. Ask him where the truth lies and listen to that little voice inside you. You have good common sense and you know when you're on the right track. That's where prayer helps. It guides that sense to the right ways.

There's nothing wrong with guilt. Guilt is your beliefs telling you that you're straying form them. Guilt given by going against what you've been taught isn't necessarily bad either. What is bad is when you have a moment like this when obviously you need to learn more about where this comes from and where you think you should stand on the issue and you do nothing affirmative about it.

Find your answers, then stick to them. You'll be just fine.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Religion is nothing more than a crutch! If I needed a crutch I'd buy one!

It's just an incidious way of controlling people and gaining their money.

Oh come on, don't you think you're being a little bit too "15 year old" about this? The complexities of relgious institutionalism and faith are complex, and merit more regard than a puerile "They suck, man!" You're not helping here. I'll start another thread for you called "Jesus was a hippie freak", okay?