Release

[kittiGoddess]

deleted

 

[SpunThings]

I have become increasingly unhappy with my Dom to the point of demanding release. But deep down I still feel connected to him, can anyone give advice on how to deal with this. Last time, with a different Master I got sub frenzy and want to avoid the same mistakes this time

Only you can decide when it's time to end a relationship for yourself.

 

[YoungToy]

Remember that as a sub you still have power, if not more power. If theres something you really dont want to do then you dont have to. If somethings wrong, then dont be afraid to talk it out, communication is everything.

If its really not for you then try and find someone else. Its always hard to leave someone that you have built up a relationship with over time. Good luck.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

End of the day it is still a relationship of sorts. If you feel like you are putting up with things just because it is "kink related" that you would never put up with or be happy with in a vanilla relationship then discuss the issues with him or end it.

 

[Algos_Idoni]

I have become increasingly unhappy with my Dom to the point of demanding release. But deep down I still feel connected to him, can anyone give advice on how to deal with this. Last time, with a different Master I got sub frenzy and want to avoid the same mistakes this time

After care is very important, and hopefully something the both of you had discussed in some detail, but probably not as I don't think it happens as often as it should. Is this a real-life in person relationship or online? Not that one is necessarily easier to breakup with over the other.

What is misunderstood in BDSM (in my opinion) or Dom/sub relationships is who really has the power. It isn't the Dom, but the sub. The submissive owns her submission and gives it as a gift to the Dom. In a sense lends it to the Dom to be nurtured and grown and respected. When that is happening , the submission is being abused, or it just doesn't feel right anymore, the submissive has every right to her submission and to end the relationship.

Male it a clean break. Don't do it slowly. That way the Dom can't turn it into abuse or guilt. If he is a true Dom, he should recognize that it is working and part ways cleanly.

 

[MeekMe]

I have become increasingly unhappy with my Dom to the point of demanding release. But deep down I still feel connected to him, can anyone give advice on how to deal with this. Last time, with a different Master I got sub frenzy and want to avoid the same mistakes this time

If you don't want to stay, don't. Rip the bandaid off and move on. Would you continue to stay in a non-d/s relationship if you were unhappy? To the bold part: are you saying you are demanding he release you? Or that you're thinking about it? You don't have to wait to get permission, if that's the case. You're a person before you're a pyl (pick your label).

I didn't respond to the other thread, sorry (I forget sometimes). I'm happy that you didn't go through with something that might have caused you mental/emotional harm, but it sounds like the two of you aren't compatible. He wants things that you aren't comfortable with and can't bring yourself to do. That isn't a bad thing, he can want those things just as you can not want to do those things. It's probably better if you both find a more suitable match. You'll both be happier in the end.

I'm not going to even get into the "submission is a gift" or "twue dom" stuff because I think that's BS. Just remember that the relationship is just that, it's a relationship. Like any other, it's not some mystical deeper connection. It still takes hard work, honesty, communication and compromise (sometimes less of this depending on the power exchange involved).

If you really don't want to stay, go and eventually find someone that is interested in the same things as you. Let him find someone that wants to do all the things he likes. It sucks to break up and you'll both feel bad for a bit, but it sure beats staying in a relationship that makes you both miserable and resentful.

I hope things work out for you.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I have become increasingly unhappy with my Dom to the point of demanding release. But deep down I still feel connected to him, can anyone give advice on how to deal with this. Last time, with a different Master I got sub frenzy and want to avoid the same mistakes this time

I think it is important to remember that you are in control of your thoughts about this.
If you tell yourself that this will be difficult and that you will "get sub frenzy", it very easily becomes self-fullfilling.
Keep an eye on what you are telling yourself and I think you will notice when you start working yourself up to something that could end in frenzy or other behaviour that you want to avoid, while you still have the possibility to stop it from spiraling out of control.
Have a plan for how you want that inner dialogue to sound and steer back to that when needed.

I agree with Kiwi and Meeks that this is much like other relations and other breakups.