Reflections on Gentleman Doms

[MessierObject]

I figured I'd throw in my $.02 on the discussion. I think of relationships like dancing.

With some partners we'd take to the floor together, or at the request of one or the other. We'd take turns leading depending on the style or the mood. I could pull her on to the floor only to have her turn around and treat my body like a pole, while I tried to keep up without daring to disrupt her rhythm. We would rock out at one arms distance, neither of us leading, but still dancing together. And while at almost any time one of us was leading, there was a balance and never a submission to the other.

In my D/S relationships I would always lead, I would always be the one pulling her to floor. She would follow my hands, and hips, and movement directing the rhythm, direction, and flow of the dance. I would know what she wanted, whether it be the fun and flirty swing or the romantic and sensual bachata. Sometimes I would make her wait to dance, or tease her with distance between us and half steps to slow things down. I would make her yearn to be spun across the room or pulled tightly up against me. She would wait knowing not only that she had to, but that it would be worth the build up.

She submitted to me leading not because I was more powerful or a better dancer but because she trusted. She trusted that with my hands on her hips, her body against mine, and her back to the world, that I would lead her across the floor. I would navigate the dance floor spinning her and turning her, pushing and pulling her up against me and never drop her or run her into someone or something.

Being a dom isn't telling someone when and how they're going to dance. It's earning the trust and submission of someone to have the responsibility and honor of leading them around the dance floor from song to song.

Back to being a wallflower for me.

 

[Mrtenant]

I figured I'd throw in my $.02 on the discussion. I think of relationships like dancing.

With some partners we'd take to the floor together, or at the request of one or the other. We'd take turns leading depending on the style or the mood. I could pull her on to the floor only to have her turn around and treat my body like a pole, while I tried to keep up without daring to disrupt her rhythm. We would rock out at one arms distance, neither of us leading, but still dancing together. And while at almost any time one of us was leading, there was a balance and never a submission to the other.

In my D/S relationships I would always lead, I would always be the one pulling her to floor. She would follow my hands, and hips, and movement directing the rhythm, direction, and flow of the dance. I would know what she wanted, whether it be the fun and flirty swing or the romantic and sensual bachata. Sometimes I would make her wait to dance, or tease her with distance between us and half steps to slow things down. I would make her yearn to be spun across the room or pulled tightly up against me. She would wait knowing not only that she had to, but that it would be worth the build up.

She submitted to me leading not because I was more powerful or a better dancer but because she trusted. She trusted that with my hands on her hips, her body against mine, and her back to the world, that I would lead her across the floor. I would navigate the dance floor spinning her and turning her, pushing and pulling her up against me and never drop her or run her into someone or something.

Being a dom isn't telling someone when and how they're going to dance. It's earning the trust and submission of someone to have the responsibility and honor of leading them around the dance floor from song to song.

Back to being a wallflower for me.

Nice ....I like your illustration. Being fond of dancing, I can relate to that. Well done.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I figured I'd throw in my $.02 on the discussion. I think of relationships like dancing.

With some partners we'd take to the floor together, or at the request of one or the other. We'd take turns leading depending on the style or the mood. I could pull her on to the floor only to have her turn around and treat my body like a pole, while I tried to keep up without daring to disrupt her rhythm. We would rock out at one arms distance, neither of us leading, but still dancing together. And while at almost any time one of us was leading, there was a balance and never a submission to the other.

In my D/S relationships I would always lead, I would always be the one pulling her to floor. She would follow my hands, and hips, and movement directing the rhythm, direction, and flow of the dance. I would know what she wanted, whether it be the fun and flirty swing or the romantic and sensual bachata. Sometimes I would make her wait to dance, or tease her with distance between us and half steps to slow things down. I would make her yearn to be spun across the room or pulled tightly up against me. She would wait knowing not only that she had to, but that it would be worth the build up.

She submitted to me leading not because I was more powerful or a better dancer but because she trusted. She trusted that with my hands on her hips, her body against mine, and her back to the world, that I would lead her across the floor. I would navigate the dance floor spinning her and turning her, pushing and pulling her up against me and never drop her or run her into someone or something.

Being a dom isn't telling someone when and how they're going to dance. It's earning the trust and submission of someone to have the responsibility and honor of leading them around the dance floor from song to song.

Back to being a wallflower for me.

I love this.

 

[cascadiabound]

I figured I'd throw in my $.02 on the discussion. I think of relationships like dancing.

[.....]

Being a dom isn't telling someone when and how they're going to dance. It's earning the trust and submission of someone to have the responsibility and honor of leading them around the dance floor from song to song.

Back to being a wallflower for me.

Nice ....I like your illustration. Being fond of dancing, I can relate to that. Well done.

ditto

I love this.

me too - me too

Messier Object ~ I really hope you don't return to being a wallflower... your illustration is lovely and a great add to the discussion. Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[DarkSimian]

Labels I think sometimes have limited usefulness​. DS? Did you have a good time? Did you feel a tug and pull with the power exchange/ possession/ control play? Or was it all meh for you?

I think that my statement answered your questions. Because in the end, I don't have the power, I don't have possession, I don't have control. They may "submit", but in the end, most women are perfectly willing to take their ball and go home if the game doesn't go their way.

At least in my experience.....

 

[cascadiabound]

I think that my statement answered your questions. Because in the end, I don't have the power, I don't have possession, I don't have control. They may "submit", but in the end, most women are perfectly willing to take their ball and go home if the game doesn't go their way.

At least in my experience.....

Well DS... I am pretty sure they were just playing at submission then. Not actually submitting...

My guess..

And maybe you don't want need, crave or get off on someone submitting to you. If that is the case, it matters not at all.

 

[WildViolet]

I figured I'd throw in my $.02 on the discussion. I think of relationships like dancing.

(...)

Being a dom isn't telling someone when and how they're going to dance. It's earning the trust and submission of someone to have the responsibility and honor of leading around the dance floor from song to song.

Back to being a wallflower for me.

That is beautifully said

 

[MessierObject]

Nice ....I like your illustration. Being fond of dancing, I can relate to that. Well done.

Thank you. I'm no professional dancer, but I do it enjoy it as a hobby and the occasional analogy.

I love this.

I'm glad

Messier Object ~ I really hope you don't return to being a wallflower... your illustration is lovely and a great add to the discussion. Thank you for your thoughts.

Thank you. I won't disappear completely into the background. I hope we can keep this thread going

That is beautifully said

Thank you!

 

[cascadiabound]

Just want to say a few words about what may be the flipside Gentleman Doms.

What I have read about most recently is about the Warrior Princess. (Yet another label! ) I'll say a little about her first and provide a link....

https://warriorprincesssub.com/

This female submissive, who is badass, physically, emotionally, mentally, and in spirit. Watch her while she takes on issues important to her, be it family, career, politics, environment, community, social justice, and many others.*

Her fierceness of spirit with which she tackles these issues is not to be taken lightly. She is sharp, driven, energetic, compassionate, breathtaking and more.*

Stand in her way and she will shred you agregiously. She will also notice, with clarity, when you go to battle yourself, either on your own, or with her. She adores the man whose cause is as passionate to him as her own. A man she can count on in battle.*

And for the right Dom that inspires her respect, she will set the warrior aside and enjoin her submissive proclivity to him. The submissiveness that she aches to release.

She'll savor, crave, and maybe even love the man who sees her. Enjoys her. Respects her. Consumes her. She will give him the keys to her inner kingdom that she has won all on her own by the skill of her sword. Trusting him fully, the Gentleman, more than can be imagined.


To my mind, she is the perfect flipside to the Gentleman Dom.

For myself, I find the idea intensely and mysteriously erotic in that twisty swirly kind of way of being that flipside dominant to a warrior princess' submissiveness.

She who bends to no one and takes on the world so effectively and yet, will join with me in exploring this side of ourselves. [.....]

I have been thinking about labels today (discussion on another thread)... both how they are useful and how they box me/ us / you in. I predominantly identify as a submissive..I am definitely not a switch. But I find I get uncomfortable with the presumptions that sometimes seem tied to women who are subs. (Seems like there is frequently confusion between the difference between a submissive noun and being submissive adjective.)

I very much like some of the things that seem associated with Warrior Princess... feels more like me than a lot of things. Not perfect, but...yeah. interesting.

I'm sure that the Warrior Princess type feels like a good fit for some Gentleman Doms, but may not fit at all for other men who might think of themselves as Gentleman Doms.

I wonder how easily the Dom label sits with some of the Gentlemen...does it feel right? Or do you chaff under it?

An interesting contribution to the thread and has given me food for thought.

cb

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Ooooo, discussion!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I figured I'd throw in my $.02 on the dicoincidencethink of relationships like dancing.

With some partners we'd take to the floor together, or at the request of one or the other. We'd take turns leading depending on the style or the mood. I could pull her on to the floor only to have her turn around and treat my body like a pole, while I tried to keep up without daring to disrupt her rhythm. We would rock out at one arms distance, neither of us leading, but still dancing together. And while at almost any time one of us was leading, there was a balance and never a submission to the other.

In my D/S relationships I would always lead, I would always be the one pulling her to floor. She would follow my hands, and hips, and movement directing the rhythm, direction, and flow of the dance. I would know what she wanted, whether it be the fun and flirty swing or the romantic and sensual bachata. Sometimes I would make her wait to dance, or tease her with distance between us and half steps to slow things down. I would make her yearn to be spun across the room or pulled tightly up against me. She would wait knowing not only that she had to, but that it would be worth the build up.

She submitted to me leading not because I was more powerful or a better dancer but because she trusted. She trusted that with my hands on her hips, her body against mine, and her back to the world, that I would lead her across the floor. I would navigate the dance floor spinning her and turning her, pushing and pulling her up against me and never drop her or run her into someone or something.

Being a dom isn't telling someone when and how they're going to dance. It's earning the trust and submission of someone to have the responsibility and honor of leading them around the dance floor from song to song.

Back to being a wallflower for me.

This was just lovely!

I learned English country dancing a couple of years ago, and by happy coincindence, my partner most often was a young man who clearly had natural dominant tendencies. He was a wonderful dance partner. He said not to look at my feet, or worry about the steps, but to look at him. He told me to follow where he led with his hands, and I would get to where I needed to be. He maintained eye contact with me as much as was practical, and - the most charming thing! - he softly sang the steps to me as we danced.

I was a complete novice, but in his arms I felt like a seasoned dancer. I trusted him and let him lead, and we had a marvelous time together.

 

[Nzerxx]

I have spent my spare time in the last few days reading this entire thread. Being new to this I am seeking to understand myself and everyone's views. I hope it continues

I love this quote
I love the dance analogy
And I have seen my D in the caring nurturing role in these posts
Now I just hope to give back in the way he needs

 

[LucianaGrace]

 

[cascadiabound]

http://68.media.tumblr.com/4e4dc96d94b5f5003ccfc5b1a4ad2968/tumblr_oq2qmrBwzs1w2e5qyo1_500.jpg​

 

[Mrtenant]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b3/90/1e/b3901e9fb30d1f99250032b2c49a493d.jpg


A time and place for everything

 

[LucianaGrace]

 

[OldUncleJack]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b3/90/1e/b3901e9fb30d1f99250032b2c49a493d.jpg


A time and place for everything

Exactly right...

 

[mickyp123]

http://68.media.tumblr.com/4e4dc96d94b5f5003ccfc5b1a4ad2968/tumblr_oq2qmrBwzs1w2e5qyo1_500.jpg​

He's referring to a mistress, its something one screws onto a bed and it fits in between a Mister and a mattress

 

[cascadiabound]

He's referring to a mistress, its something one screws onto a bed and it fits in between a Mister and a mattress

I guess my brain wasn't firing on all cylinders when I posted that quote on this thread. Apologies. Though I am not sure I agree with your read of it Micky.

 

[cascadiabound]

Original image removed

"Find someone who loves you well.
Someone who never belittles you. Even
in the heat of an argument. Someone
who is gentle with you, but does not treat
you like you are fragile. Someone who
knows what you are capable of, and
celebrates those pieces of you. Not
someone who is intimated by your
strength. Someone who can call you out
for being a brat, but doesn’t make you
feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s
job to punish you. And remember the
person you love is just as broken as you
are when they fall short. No one is
perfect – do not hold them to this
standard. Find someone who is patient,
forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who
practices forgiveness freely and often.
Love someone who is humble, kind and
empathetic. Not only with you, but with a
beggar on the street, or a stranger in the
supermarket. Common courtesy is
important. Compassion is important.
Kindness is important."
​

This I love. . (although I am not really in need of being called out for being a brat...the rest is perfect)

 

[mickyp123]

I guess my brain wasn't firing on all cylinders when I posted that quote on this thread. Apologies. Though I am not sure I agree with your read of it Micky.

Tis merely my attempt at humour lol

 

[cascadiabound]

Tis merely my attempt at humour lol

Grins*
I must admit...I did that head cocked to one side thing as I read and reread your post.
It was before coffee. Always a bad idea.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This I love. . (although I am not really in need of being called out for being a brat...the rest is perfect)

I bristle at the thought of being called a brat. In my mind, a brat is a sub who willfully and knowingly rebels against their authority for no good reason, which isn't submission at all.

Brattish behavior is different from playful, saucy behavior meant to tease, please, and engage a partner. Different too, from a sub who is petulant or out-of-sorts due to stress or illness or not having their needs met.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

and in other news...

'How To Get More Out Of Your Dom'



I'm kidding, of course. My experience tells me that the best way to get what i want or need isn't through manipulation (which would be topping from the bottom, whether intentionally or subconciously), but simply by asking.

What does that conversation typically look like for you?

 

[barefootgirl69]

I bristle at the thought of being called a brat. In my mind, a brat is a sub who willfully and knowingly rebels against their authority for no good reason, which isn't submission at all.

Brattish behavior is different from playful, saucy behavior meant to tease, please, and engage a partner. Different too, from a sub who is petulant or out-of-sorts due to stress or illness or not having their needs met.

I agree with this so much! I never want to willful or bratty, I want to tease and have fun, within limits. I want to please Him.