Red's Thread - come in and read a bit, post a bit, and lick a bit... okay... alot!!!

[RedHairedandFriendly]

i can improve the harassment if you would give me more ammo to work with. i cant harass you unless youre harassable......

Hmm... I haven't seen you in a while. I'm pretty sure you had already found me unharassable.

 

[Callmetim]

I just meant beds in general. Are we on a bed?

You're at your desk as usual, the beds around the room beginning to fill up with the regulars. Your bed, the canopy king size bed with sturdy and well worn posts from numerous types of bondage, crimson jersey knit sheets and flowing silken tulle across the top, lies pristine. Walking over to your desk, I lean down and whisper, "Your bed looks far to neat dear," fluttering away without so much as a look behind me ... yet I feel your chocolate eyes peer at me through thinning eyelids and a smirk which matches my own.

 

[sereneone4u]

I'll expound on what Red has finished with in her comment. Each and every stalker/troll that comes in here and looks to harrass women, or men, is looking for attention. To them, negative attention, is just as good as positive attention. Ignoring them is the most effective way of dealing with them, alomng with the ignore feature. It's what we call, 'Pulling an Amish' on them. They are shunned and considered invisible.

When they are found out and return with another Alt, they will indeed try to return and harrass and intimidate people. If you feel someone is doing that to you, don't respond to their PM's and report it to the site owners. IP addresses can be checked by them easily enough and know who it is.

Currently, I know of 3 men in the PG who are using different Alts and have returned to the PG to harrass and disrupt. I always thought calling them out pubically in a thread was the best way. If anyone receives unwarranted and unwanted PM's and feel the person sending them is harrassing them, post the person's name and we are all aware and watch them carefully.

I received a couple of PM's last night from a newer member, who came to me for advice on someone PM'ing her. I read the exchange and saw who was PM'ing and told her to tell him to fuck off. Ravi was back to his old ways, despite his new Alt.

This is a community of people, who want to come together and share good times, not face more problems than they do in RL already. No one should have to be subjected to that kind of treatment here. No one

Lance is a good one to speak on this.

I was having a problem with someone on here a couple of years ago and he handle it for me.

Thanks again, Lance.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

The thing to remember, is that these are sick and twisted individuals who do this for kicks. We could make a profile of each kind of stalker, troll, abuser and see that these guys and women, are shunned in the real world for one reason or another and have no social interaction skills. Many try to live out fantasies and don't care if there is consent or not.
Their only goal is to fulfil whatever drives them and no one is safe. Think of it as having a sex offender living next door and all the kids play in the yard unattended. No one is watching them and no one knows anything has happened, until after the fact and someone's been hurt.
Newbies should be given a chance to protect themselves, by having a heads up thread, a sticky, so it's always there up top to see and they should be directed to it at the beginning. It's a shame that this is what it comes to, but we have no other choice to protect ourselves.

But to wrongfully accuse a newbie is bad too. So you have to be 100% positive without a doubt you're judging correctly. Can you do that all the time? Point the finger at a newbie and without a shred of doubt, not even a sliver, condemn them?

No one but the admin. is the judge and jury on this forum. No one. You aren't. I'm not.

I just recalled a second time I had to deal very publicly with a stalker. It was a woman who had overstepped her place here in the Playground, and then came back and posted in the AH and she was a lesbian and she was harassing me sexually in my PM box and then tried to slip in one of the AH threads. I ripped her up one side and down another. She was gone and I never was bothered by her again, and I did out her and her PMing ways on the thread she was bothering me in. If she's around, I don't know her as who she was and again, that's cool with me.

 

[sereneone4u]

Not responding really is the best route. When I came online one morning ( a long time ago ) I was "slapped" virtually in the face by someone I had thought was a Lit. friend or at least a good acquaintance. I have no clue what had transpired to make that happen, and still don't know for sure. Any-who, it was shocking and blew my mind at the hostility I felt behind the words and yes it was all written. But the words still hurt.

I tried to discover what had happened, but could not. So I placed the person on ignore and for the longest time I feared posting on any threads we had posted on before with each other. Eventually though I did and I never was forced to interact with the person. I never saw the words they posted because I never went looking for them. It was hard to not feed the curiosity bug, but in the long run that was what was best for me.

If that person is still at Lit. -- don't know, don't care.

Sometimes ignoring does not work, it just makes them bolder. I had an issue with someone like that this past summer.

It just kept esculating and many Litsters noticed it, it was that appalling. I think eventually a Lit man or two did something about it because it finally stopped cold.

Thank you to who ever took care of it, I am grateful

I have been here for six years and I have had a few instances of bullying both covert and overt.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

You're at your desk as usual, the beds around the room beginning to fill up with the regulars. Your bed, the canopy king size bed with sturdy and well worn posts from numerous types of bondage, crimson jersey knit sheets and flowing silken tulle across the top, lies pristine. Walking over to your desk, I lean down and whisper, "Your bed looks far to neat dear," fluttering away without so much as a look behind me ... yet I feel your chocolate eyes peer at me through thinning eyelids and a smirk which matches my own.

~ Grins ~ I have a lovely bed, thank-you.


( I need to write to that thread, I know. )

I shouldn't even be here right now, it's Friday and I have a ton of stuff to buy for this graduation party.


----


And with that my loves I bid you farewell. Kisses for all.

 

[lance gt]

Lance is a good one to speak on this.

I was having a problem with someone on here a couple of years ago and he handle it for me.

Thanks again, Lance.

You're very welcome, Serene and I trust there's been no further incidents.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Sometimes ignoring does not work, it just makes them bolder. I had an issue with someone like that this past summer.

It just kept esculating and many Litsters noticed it, it was that appalling. I think eventually a Lit man or two did something about it because it finally stopped cold.

Thank you to who ever took care of it, I am grateful

I have been here for six years and I have had a few instances of bullying both covert and overt.

I know that sometimes ignore doesn't work --- I don't understand why though. If all the folks you are friends with agree not to quote the person and you don't see what they are saying than you don't see it. You don't get their PMs. If they step into your real world you can take more legal actions.

I'm not trying to make light of this subject, I'm not. I know it is a serious one. I just don't see how not responding/ignoring/blocking emails/chat etc. doesn't work.

Where else are they able to harass you?

 

[creaman_nsa]

Harassment is like a mental rape. If you say no, and ask for it to stop it should immediately stop. If it continues it is then brought into your RL because of the mental anguish felt by the person.

I cannot remember who but I saw a person has in the sig line, remembering that words here are real... it is so true. Words are words, it doesnt matter if they are kind or hurtful, they are felt and they are real.

I am so glad for Red that her words are kind and loving and offer us a place to be with like people.

 

[Scentofawoman]

I think Red and Tim might remember how I came to be on this thread.

I was being harassed by a man. he started out very sweet. then there was a misunderstanding and everything stopped. Weeks later he apologized. I forgave him, but this time the emails were harassing. I felt guilty because yes, some of the things he was accusing me of might have been perceived as the way he was interpreting it.
I wrote out this very logical and polite email telling him my rational and to stop talking to me. Then the name calling started, and the whining. I was amazed at how far this guy was going. I knew he was following all my posts so I posted to Red about bullying on the boards.



It worked. The man freaked out, thought I was going to get him banned, called me all sorts of names, and I never got another email. I followed him very closely after that. I figured if I could see him do it to another woman I'd call him out publicly. He did. Luckily he chose the wrong thread to show his true colors. If he has come back as another alt i don't know, but he colors will show through again.

 

[lance gt]

But to wrongfully accuse a newbie is bad too. So you have to be 100% positive without a doubt you're judging correctly. Can you do that all the time? Point the finger at a newbie and without a shred of doubt, not even a sliver, condemn them?

No one but the admin. is the judge and jury on this forum. No one. You aren't. I'm not.

I just recalled a second time I had to deal very publicly with a stalker. It was a woman who had overstepped her place here in the Playground, and then came back and posted in the AH and she was a lesbian and she was harassing me sexually in my PM box and then tried to slip in one of the AH threads. I ripped her up one side and down another. She was gone and I never was bothered by her again, and I did out her and her PMing ways on the thread she was bothering me in. If she's around, I don't know her as who she was and again, that's cool with me.

You have that backwards Dear. I'm talking about a sticky at the top of each forum, explaining about harrassment and stalking/trolls. It's to give Newbies a chance to prepare for what might happen, because we have an infestation and it's hard to get rid of the critters. If they know about them, they know to be on guard and what to watch for. Ounce of prevention, instead of the pound of cure thing.

 

[Callmetim]

I think Red and Tim might remember how I came to be on this thread.

I was being harassed by a man. he started out very sweet. then there was a misunderstanding and everything stopped. Weeks later he apologized. I forgave him, but this time the emails were harassing. I felt guilty because yes, some of the things he was accusing me of might have been perceived as the way he was interpreting it.
I wrote out this very logical and polite email telling him my rational and to stop talking to me. Then the name calling started, and the whining. I was amazed at how far this guy was going. I knew he was following all my posts so I posted to Red about bullying on the boards.



It worked. The man freaked out, thought I was going to get him banned, called me all sorts of names, and I never got another email. I followed him very closely after that. I figured if I could see him do it to another woman I'd call him out publicly. He did. Luckily he chose the wrong thread to show his true colors. If he has come back as another alt i don't know, but he colors will show through again.

I'm glad there were good folks to help you out, dear. Don't be afraid to show those claws sometimes

 

[winepleasures]

I guess I've been very fortunate. I've never had an issue with any bizarre or strange stalker activity. From online, real life or phone friends, everyone has been cool thus far.

You all have some horror stories and I'm sorry that you had to go through them.

Glad this room is a safer place.

 

[Scentofawoman]

I guess I've been very fortunate. I've never had an issue with any bizarre or strange stalker activity. From online, real life or phone friends, everyone has been cool thus far.

You all have some horror stories and I'm sorry that you had to go through them.

Glad this room is a safer place.

Really any Thread on the playground is a good place.. I would trust any of those people if I came to them at that time to do the same exact thing Red said and did.

 

[lance gt]

I guess I've been very fortunate. I've never had an issue with any bizarre or strange stalker activity. From online, real life or phone friends, everyone has been cool thus far.

You all have some horror stories and I'm sorry that you had to go through them.

Glad this room is a safer place.

We ALL have the intention of keeping this room stalker proof and harrassment free. Kind of like Neighbourhood Watch. I love coming to Red's and having fun. I know I just showed up out of the blue one night and sort of made myself known, but I was welcomed by everyone and have enjoyed making friends with everyone. This thread gets 5x as many views to posts, so many people just watch what goes on and many enjoy the wickedness that we get into. They also come and read the discussions we have, much like this one and know that they can find answers to questions. They also know that everyone here, is worth knowing and that they will be treated respectfully in here and all the other threads we post in.

Yeah, this subject really annoys me to no end and I despise what happens to the victims of it. No one should have to feel uneasy, or suspicious about coming in or posting and PM'ing with someone, but they do. I just try to do my part to see that it doesn't happen, or stop it immediately.

 

[Scentofawoman]

Ok I am changing the subject.


About those 50 words. Is there a deadline? Lol!

 

[lance gt]

Ok I am changing the subject.


About those 50 words. Is there a deadline? Lol!

It was set for 6am EST today. If no more have come in, you can chose from the ones posted and make your choice from them.

 

[BlueEyedGent]

Morning!

I am in a killing mood this morning.
So another woman... who I will not say, is falling victim to a male bully. Of course she is telling him no,and to stop. and now he's on ignore. The problem is, then he just moves on tho the next woman, who may not be strong enough.

Makes my blood boil. really it does. when it happened to me, if i didn't have such other wonderful friends to fall back on I think I would have been devastated.


Grrr

Hello all...
I have been a Lit member since this past March and so far I can say that I have met some awesome individuals.....It has been quite fun to participate in the threads, especially the Playground.... have received some wonderful messages from females , however , I did receive a few messages from a woman who was mad as hell because I wouldn't " fuck " her..............


I wrote about it in a post that explains what happened....fortunately, she cooled off and never messaged me again....

We live in a world where people feel the urgency to be in control, who want their esteem to be heightened by deflating some one elses....it happens online and in real life as everyone knows. It's all around us...children are abused at the hands of their parents, teens are bullied at school from other teens, spouses are verbally and physically hurt by their spouses words and hands, elders are abused by their children.....I could go on and on...

My sig says that I always treat women with RESPECT , whether it"s online or offline....and I get hot under the collar if I hear that a woman has been treated poorly. I believe that we as humans should all treat one another with respect...no excuse not to....
We definitely ALL need to be one another's eyes and ears in this world...but, we must always remember that we need to be our very own advocate and not allow ourselves to become a bullie's victim.

Yes, I agree...words hurt....whether it's online or offline...but, when they are coming from someone who doesn't have an ounce of decency then let it go and don't look back.

Online activity is entertaining and indeed friendships are made, that have just as much substance as out in the real world...however, always remember ....keep your guard up and be cautious on how much you reveal to someone...

Having said that...this is my very first post in this thread and I like it very much. Scent is a great gal and she recommended that I read the posts that transpired today.

Looking forward to coming in more often.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

 

[lance gt]

Hello all...
I have been a Lit member since this past March and so far I can say that I have met some awesome individuals.....It has been quite fun to participate in the threads, especially the Playground.... have received some wonderful messages from females , however , I did receive a few messages from a woman who was mad as hell because I wouldn't " fuck " her..............


I wrote about it in one of my thread posts,that explains what happened....fortunately, she cooled off and never messaged me again....

We live in a world where people feel the urgency to be in control, who want their esteem to be heightened by deflating some one elses....it happens online and in real life as everyone knows. It's all around us...children are abused at the hands of their parents, teens are bullied at school from other teens, spouses are verbally and physically hurt by their spouses words and hands, elders are abused by their children.....I could go on and on...

My sig says that I always treat women with RESPECT , whether it"s online or offline....and I get hot under the collar if I hear that a woman has been treated poorly. I believe that we as humans should all treat one another with respect...no excuse not to....
We definitely ALL need to be one another's eyes and ears in this world...but, we must always remember that we need to be our very own advocate and not allow ourselves to become a bullie's victim.

Yes, I agree...words hurt....whether it's online or offline...but, when they are coming from someone who doesn't have an ounce of decency then let it go and don't look back.

Online activity is entertaining and indeed friendships are made, that have just as much substance as out in the real world...however, always remember ....keep your guard up and be cautious on how much you reveal to someone...

Having said that...this is my very first post in this thread and I like it very much. Scent is a great gal and she recommended that I read the posts that transpired today.

Looking forward to coming in more often.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Welcome BEG, nice to have you join us. You'll find the fun and topics unteresting and the play can get wild and crazy.

I'll disagree with only one thing you said. "words hurt". They don't. It's impossible for them to. They are only letters on a screen. It's how you let them affect you, is how they make you hurt. We worry endlessly that our friends and others in here will judge us on those posts. How could we? We know they aren't true, so why think we would believe them?
Ignore the words, they mean nothing. Ignore the posters, they mean nothing.

 

[winepleasures]

Welcome BEG. Nice to have you here!

Hello all...
I have been a Lit member since this past March and so far I can say that I have met some awesome individuals.....It has been quite fun to participate in the threads, especially the Playground.... have received some wonderful messages from females , however , I did receive a few messages from a woman who was mad as hell because I wouldn't " fuck " her..............


I wrote about it in a post that explains what happened....fortunately, she cooled off and never messaged me again....

We live in a world where people feel the urgency to be in control, who want their esteem to be heightened by deflating some one elses....it happens online and in real life as everyone knows. It's all around us...children are abused at the hands of their parents, teens are bullied at school from other teens, spouses are verbally and physically hurt by their spouses words and hands, elders are abused by their children.....I could go on and on...

My sig says that I always treat women with RESPECT , whether it"s online or offline....and I get hot under the collar if I hear that a woman has been treated poorly. I believe that we as humans should all treat one another with respect...no excuse not to....
We definitely ALL need to be one another's eyes and ears in this world...but, we must always remember that we need to be our very own advocate and not allow ourselves to become a bullie's victim.

Yes, I agree...words hurt....whether it's online or offline...but, when they are coming from someone who doesn't have an ounce of decency then let it go and don't look back.

Online activity is entertaining and indeed friendships are made, that have just as much substance as out in the real world...however, always remember ....keep your guard up and be cautious on how much you reveal to someone...

Having said that...this is my very first post in this thread and I like it very much. Scent is a great gal and she recommended that I read the posts that transpired today.

Looking forward to coming in more often.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

 

[BlueEyedGent]

Welcome BEG, nice to have you join us. You'll find the fun and topics unteresting and the play can get wild and crazy.

I'll disagree with only one thing you said. "words hurt". They don't. It's impossible for them to. They are only letters on a screen. It's how you let them affect you, is how they make you hurt. We worry endlessly that our friends and others in here will judge us on those posts. How could we? We know they aren't true, so why think we would believe them?
Ignore the words, they mean nothing. Ignore the posters, they mean nothing.

Thank you Lance for the welcome...

To surmise it all...take negativity with a grain of salt and go on about your day and be the best person that you can be...

 

[BlueEyedGent]

Welcome BEG. Nice to have you here!

Thank you Winepleasures!

 

[Scentofawoman]

Thank you Lance for the welcome...

To surmise it all...take negativity with a grain of salt and go on about your day and be the best person that you can be...

Yep yep.


So a guy started in the fetish thread a "name your price" if someone came up to you and asked for sex.

I gave a snarky answer. But makes me think. Hummmmm. Lol!!

 

[VioletFlame]

There has only been one guy who really crossed a line with me, and, fortunately he chose to leave as a result realizing he messed up bad and wasn't interested in being tempted again. I wonder if he has come back occasionally, but if he has he's acting completely differently.

There are a few guys who have been obnoxious but ignoring them has been easy enough to do in my experience. There's one guy who got a talking to from a friend of mine who actually liked him but it wasn't particularly effective. Mostly, guys who don't understand my boundaries eventually get it and leave me alone, one of them today stepped over a line in an unfortunate (for him) way and will not get another chance but that's really rare.

These are very rare circumstances... so many of the guys here are wonderful both in the public parts of the Playground and in PM. At least, that's been my experience... I'm glad for guys like Lance who keeps an eye out for troublemakers.

 

[BlueEyedGent]

Yep yep.


So a guy started in the fetish thread a "name your price" if someone came up to you and asked for sex.

I gave a snarky answer. But makes me think. Hummmmm. Lol!!

Stroking my chin and pondering what the snarky answer was......