Red Meat for Readers

[ScrappyPaperDoodler]

I'm in a tricky spot where I want to write a sex scene without actually having any sex happen. The scene in question is really about two people getting started, having second thoughts, and pulling back.

Here's my fear: you start building the tension, you get the foreplay going, things get steamy then, suddenly, everything falls flat! The reader is literally left with their dick in their hand... So, I want to throw a bone — get to an orgasm without changing the story. One option that I've cut off is some kind of mutual masturbation scene because I've got such a scene planned as a pretty significant 'event' down the line.

I suppose I could write some kind of dry-humping/grinding scene. Outercourse is a thing... Still, that almost feels too much like sex for my purposes. (God, I'm whining a lot. Apologies for being difficult, really)

A very hot kiss? Maybe... It would be a tall order but hey, I've got time to try and make it work.

Regular masturbation is tricky to write even though I've seen it happen in lots of stories that face the same pacing issue. It's from a male-POV and my readers are mainly male, so I'm not sure if they'll find that a turn-on. Personally, I could dig it but I might be an anomaly and my sex scenes are super long. If I write it I'd want to make it vivid and detailed, and yeah, not so sure people are into that...

Essentially, I'm wondering what other writers have experienced. How have you handled cases where the sexual tension didn't reach boiling point? How have you kept things erotic even during long narrative sections?

 

[lovecraft68]

Is there eventually a sex scene? Like is this a first attempt, cold feet, back off, but get together later in the story?

If that's the case just leave it as no sex. Keep in mind readers are different and some will be pissed, ready to get wound up only to get the door shut in their face, others see it as realistic that people could get nervous and be more patient.

 

[magic_knirf]

I'm in a tricky spot where I want to write a sex scene without actually having any sex happen. The scene in question is really about two people getting started, having second thoughts, and pulling back.

Here's my fear: you start building the tension, you get the foreplay going, things get steamy then, suddenly, everything falls flat! The reader is literally left with their dick in their hand... So, I want to throw a bone — get to an orgasm without changing the story. One option that I've cut off is some kind of mutual masturbation scene because I've got such a scene planned as a pretty significant 'event' down the line.

I suppose I could write some kind of dry-humping/grinding scene. Outercourse is a thing... Still, that almost feels too much like sex for my purposes. (God, I'm whining a lot. Apologies for being difficult, really)

A very hot kiss? Maybe... It would be a tall order but hey, I've got time to try and make it work.

Regular masturbation is tricky to write even though I've seen it happen in lots of stories that face the same pacing issue. It's from a male-POV and my readers are mainly male, so I'm not sure if they'll find that a turn-on. Personally, I could dig it but I might be an anomaly and my sex scenes are super long. If I write it I'd want to make it vivid and detailed, and yeah, not so sure people are into that...

Essentially, I'm wondering what other writers have experienced. How have you handled cases where the sexual tension didn't reach boiling point? How have you kept things erotic even during long narrative sections?

I ended my so far only story with an "interruptus" and the comments and ratings were encouraging. If it leaves the reader craving for more, let them edge with the characters.

Look me up if you like...

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Well that is an interesting thing though... 'They have second thoughts and pull back.'

Why, why do they have 'second thoughts?'

I suppose that is something you deal with in your story context though, right?

Can I ask you what is the specific reason in the story that you want them to 'not have sex' (at that time, because it looks like you're saying they do have it later)?

Is this pause to create story tension - or for some other reason?

 

[SimonDoom]

I think this is hard to answer without knowing more about the type of story and what you want to achieve with it. Do you want to achieve something OTHER than just leaving your readers hanging? I can't tell.

I wrote an 8-chapter mom-son incest story where sex did not happen until the last chapter. Before that, each chapter featured a greater degree of contact between Mom and Son, but they'd pull back somewhat at the end of each chapter. For most readers, it was enough, and they liked it. Some readers got fed up and bowed out of the story. There's no way to please everybody. The story was told from the point of view of the son and a key element is that in every chapter he achieves orgasm, even if it isn't through actual intercourse until the last chapter. I knew exactly how I wanted to write the story before I started it -- with the knowledge that there would eventually be a satisfying payoff and resolution, but that until that happened each chapter would be a cliffhanger and, hopefully, provide some degree of satisfaction to the reader while also leaving the reader to want more. For a lot of readers, but not all, it worked.

I think it really helps to have a good overall idea what you want to achieve and then work on the details of HOW you achieve that later.

 

[ScrappyPaperDoodler]

Is there eventually a sex scene? Like is this a first attempt, cold feet, back off, but get together later in the story?

If that's the case just leave it as no sex. Keep in mind readers are different and some will be pissed, ready to get wound up only to get the door shut in their face, others see it as realistic that people could get nervous and be more patient.

There will eventually be a sex scene. At first, it's going to happen in the context of a threesome. The intention behind that is to keep this theme going of the characters being crazy about each other but always needing an 'excuse' or some kind of qualifier.

Eventually, they end up together in a monogamous relationship. That's the story in a nutshell.

Look me up if you like...

I will, thanks!

Well that is an interesting thing though... 'They have second thoughts and pull back.'

Why, why do they have 'second thoughts?'

I suppose that is something you deal with in your story context though, right?

Can I ask you what is the specific reason in the story that you want them to 'not have sex' (at that time, because it looks like you're saying they do have it later)?

Is this pause to create story tension - or for some other reason?

The second thoughts are simply doubts about compatibility and because one character is far more committed than the other. The latter is more of a thrill-seeker, the former wants to settle.

Not wanting them to have sex is so that the first full-on sexual encounter occurs within the context of a threesome. The story itself is basically about two people who only act on their feelings when they get caught up with a third — much more sexually adventurous — character. That love eventually develops into something more traditional.

I think this is hard to answer without knowing more about the type of story and what you want to achieve with it. Do you want to achieve something OTHER than just leaving your readers hanging? I can't tell.

I've covered a lot of this above, but I'll get a tad more specific on what I want to achieve with this particular 'moment.'

There's a bit of me that wants the reader frustrated with the protagonist. He's a bit of an asshole, to say the least, and his lack of commitment boils down to him not 'knowing what he wants even when it's staring him in the face.' BUT, I also want the partner to come across as uncertain, albeit in a different way. She's sure she wants a relationship but she's approaching things the wrong way (at this stage).

 

[NotWise]

I think you should write the story you want to write instead of the story that you think some future, unknown reader wants you to write.

If you take your characters into the act before they back out, then some one-handed readers may complain. Let them complain. That is a tool for building tension, and you should use it if you want to--and without having to add a gratuitous orgasm that may not placate the one-handed anyway.

Just how far you take the characters into the act before they back out could make a big difference. Their age, experience and level of excitement might also make a difference.

 

[KeithD]

There will eventually be a sex scene. At first, it's going to happen in the context of a threesome.

I think it's important you have an eventual payoff. In the short term, the sexual tension is still there, unrequited by the sex scene, if it doesn't happen, so you could (and I have) have your protagonist take care of himself with thoughts of how the original scene could have played out.

 

[Emirus]

You could always write what you want and see what happens. You might be surprised by your reader’s response.

I have a story in Romance (in which several people were murdered - which people might seem strange for that category) which runs to 6 Lit pages so about 22k words. This is the explanation I put at the beginning of the story:

“This being Romance the ending is inevitable, although you do have to wait a while for the sex, because I've tried to write an interesting story in which the sex is integral, and hopefully after reading the story, you will feel I've succeeded.”

It looked as if they were going to have sex after 11k words, but there was an unexpected intervention, and it was another 6k words before it actually happened.

The story’s done okay. More than okay to my way of thinking.

 

[JGittes]

My nude day 2021 story has something happen like you are describing. The first date for the main couple happens to be a nude, figure drawing session (sounds far fetched, but it has happened to me). They connect, really connect, but can't consumate on the model stand the first session. On the way out to their cars, clearly heading to one or the other's apartments for the mutually desired frolic, the woman asks about the man's divorce. It was due to possible childhood abuse of the ex-wife by an uncle which triggers the current woman's response to her abusive trauma and shuts down the excitement from the modeling session. Hilartiy ensues and six weeks later they do consumate their lust on the model stand.

The story is longer than the old testament, although not quite as gory, but I am happy with its reception. I would recommend plowing ahead with your plan to not plow, ahead.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Essentially, I'm wondering what other writers have experienced. How have you handled cases where the sexual tension didn't reach boiling point? How have you kept things erotic even during long narrative sections?

Focus on their emotions. Intimacy is more about emotions and feelings, less about sex. Write them as real people, not porn tropes (not saying you're doing that).

Do what I do, write endless scenes in cafés, and then have them meet on the street. Go check out my The Floating World as a story that starts slowly then sizzles, or my A Girl on the Bus, which started out as a 750 word vignette.

 

[ScrappyPaperDoodler]

As always, the community’s input is wonderfully helpful! Taking it on board, I’m going to avoid trying to shoe-horn in a sex/sex-like scene in the middle. I’ll have the characters kiss and cuddle, before expressing doubts, and then the big payoff will be down the line.

 

[gordo12]

As always, the community’s input is wonderfully helpful! Taking it on board, I’m going to avoid trying to shoe-horn in a sex/sex-like scene in the middle. I’ll have the characters kiss and cuddle, before expressing doubts, and then the big payoff will be down the line.

I have several stories now where NO SEX occurs, and even in Loving Wives, the readers have accepted that. I know this is a sex site, but it seems they'll accept good stories without it.

Save it till it's appropriate.