Red Headed Step-Child....

[HeavyStick]

Were you beaten like one.... or do you beat kids like that?


What's your opinion on child abuse and the people who do it?

 

[glamorilla]

people who take advantage of children should be punished to the full extent of the law.

 

[sorority_girl]

I, fortunately, was never abused. I did get the occasional swat on the rear - once I decided that climbing into a 350 degree oven was a good idea; once I decided that lying about breaking a window was the prudent course; stuff like that got me about five smacks to the rear end and a timeout to go 'think about what I did'. I now see that it was as much a cooloff time for my parents as it was for me. I have no idea how they handled me.

on to my story:
Growing up, I lived in a three-flat. The kids above us were regularly hit by their policeman father, as was their mother. Frequently, my sister and I took the blame for their minor misdemeanors in the common backyard because we knew that he couldn't hit us, and our parents never punished us for doing so.

We felt totally helpless as a family, because he was a policeman; my parents told me in later years that they didn't see the point of calling the cops when they heard screams and crashes. They thought the abusive husband's coworkers would show, the abused wife would lie and say that nothing was happening, everyone would know what was really going on, and the abused wife would get beaten more.

I remember lying in bed hearing Corinne (the wife) pleading and screaming for Luke (the husband) not to hit her, that she was sorry, etc. I was so angry. I couldn't've been more than five, and I wanted my father to go upstairs with a baseball bat and show Luke what it felt like to be the powerless one.

Fortunately, Corinne took the kids and now lives on the opposite coast; her kids turned out to be a photographer and an astrophysicist.

I think that beating a child is one of the ultimate expressions of cowardice and pure self-hatred that can exist.
There is no way that any of Luke's kids could have done anything at all to warrant the punches, open-handed slaps, hair pulling, shoving into furniture and walls, etc. that he gave them. Anything. I don't think that Luke was beating them. He was beating whoever treated him this way. He attempted to exorcise his own demons by showing himself that he was the one in control; he was finally on the other end of the stick, sometimes literally.

In general, I have no respect for those who have so little self-worth that they need to abuse and degrade a truly innocent person to feel temporarily better about their own pathetic psyches.

I haven't thought about Corinne and Luke for years. I'm angry and sad all over again. I cannot believe that I'd forgotten it. It's a good topic to discuss, especially on Lit (one of the more open boards I've visited), so that it's not forgotten generally.

 

[nitelite33]

I will actively intervene in any public child abuse I witness and have done so.

You harm women and children you deal with me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Abuse is one thing, a good ass-whippin' is quite another. Instills a little bit of fear, which IMO is an excellent thing for a kid to feel in these permissive buddy-buddy-parent times.

 

[Ladyhawke]

I had a step-mother who was abusive physically and emotionally. I never told anyone because I didn't want to get in more trouble, very stupid I know now. She once hit me with one of those brush type curling irons hard enough to make holes in my arm. I don't remember what we told my dad but it sure wasn't the truth. I think anyone who would abuse a child is the worst type of coward there is and they should rot in hell.

 

[loveyamon]

Were you beaten like one.... or do you beat kids like that?


What's your opinion on child abuse and the people who do it?

Get a rope........find a really big tree.

 

[Guest]

 

[JazzManJim]

I will actively intervene in any public child abuse I witness and have done so.

You harm women and children you deal with me.

Both of these statements sum it up for me perfectly.

 

[sorority_girl]

just wondering

What prompted the original post?

 

[HeavyStick]

Ouch Heavy, I have a red headed child. Dont care for the title here.

No relation, between your child and the thread was intended.

 

[Guest]

.

 

[Guest]

 

[sorority_girl]

I assumed that.


But why are red heads considered problem children? Mine is the most peaceful, happy, well mannered child Ive ever seen.

No, they're not considered problems as far as I am aware.

I just thought the title of the thread came from a phrase, "... beaten like a red-headed stepchild", which I always assumed was the product of an adulterous liason which the non-straying partner hated or the unloved product of a first marriage.

Ah, the useless information I accrete, like oysters creating pearls... or that's what I tell myself, anyway.

 

[HeavyStick]

I assumed that.


But why are red heads considered problem children? Mine is the most peaceful, happy, well mannered child Ive ever seen.

I don't know..... It may have been that old saying, "I'll beat you like a red-haired step child."


Besides, it's the person doing the hitting and not the abused who's at fault.

 

[nitelite33]

Its based on the old saying "Beaten like a red-headed stepchild".

Which probably references something some uptight Puritans did once...

Those wacky Puritans! Always finding the devil in such kooky places!

 

[sanjuaneros]

My step son is a red head, but I don't beat him like one. ;-)

 

[*Eve*]

Abuse is one thing, a good ass-whippin' is quite another. Instills a little bit of fear, which IMO is an excellent thing for a kid to feel in these permissive buddy-buddy-parent times.

you've touched on a good point. I was spanked as a child and 80 % of the time I deserved it. I can't say that I was abused because my parents were fair and spanking was always a last resort. It does sicken me to see the way kids treat their parents, with that tantrum, back talk and down right deliquent behavior. I don't know if I would spank my kids when I have them as I have never been put in that situation yet, however to leave bruises and scars on a child is disgusting. Anyone who would abuse a child should be beat up by someone much bigger than them, so they know how it feels.

 

[Richard49]

I will actively intervene in any public child abuse I witness and have done so.

You harm women and children you deal with me.

or animals

I do not understand how teachers etc. have missed the facts that indicate that a child abused and/or abuses animals is headed for big trouble

 

[sorority_girl]

...to leave bruises and scars on a child is disgusting. Anyone who would abuse a child should be beat up by someone much bigger than them, so they know how it feels.

I agree with you. But I think the problem is that most abusers *were* beaten as children.

 

[glamorilla]

Its based on the old saying "Beaten like a red-headed stepchild".

Which probably references something some uptight Puritans did once...

Those wacky Puritans! Always finding the devil in such kooky places!

i forget which one but it a catch phrase from a john waters movie.

 

[*Eve*]

I agree with you. But I think the problem is that most abusers *were* beaten as children.

Probably a lot of them are but maybe not most, as achoholism and drug abuse sometimes triggers that behavior, as well as having a parent who abused the other parent (not all abusers abuse their children) and also a chemical imbalance. Regardless it's not tit for tat, no abuse is justified.

 

[HeavyStick]

tit

So much for keeping this a serious discussion.

 

[nitelite33]

Ooooo tits...

 

[*Eve*]

So much for keeping this a serious discussion.

I can't help myself when you're around