Really Bad Pop Songs

[Artina Heartflash]

Ringo Starr's "You're Sixteen" makes me want to taste diiner a second time...YUCK!

You come on like a dream, peaches and cream
Lips like strawberry wine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine

You're all ribbons and curls, ooh, what a girl
Eyes that sparkle and shine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine

You're my baby, you're my pet
We fell in love on the night we met
You touched my hand, my heart went pop
Ooh, when we kissed I could not stop

You walked out of my dreams and into my arms
Now you're my angel divine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine

[break]

You're my baby, you're my pet
We fell in love on the night we met
You touched my hand, my heart went pop
Ooh, when we kissed I could not stop

You walked out of my dreams, and into my car
Now you're my angel divine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're mine
You're sixteen, so beautiful, and you're mine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're mine
All mine, all mine, all mine
All mine, all mine, all mine

Look at the credits who wrote that. I think it was a Robert Sherman, AKA Bobby Sherman ( "Here Come The Brides" TV show). What do you expect from a teeneybop idol?

 

[dr.bong]

I don't think I have heard that one

 

[alwaysawake]

Look at the credits who wrote that. I think it was a Robert Sherman, AKA Bobby Sherman ( "Here Come The Brides" TV show). What do you expect from a teeneybop idol?

OMG...no wonder--thanks for that background! Bobby Sherman did another one--think it was like La La La (If I Had You) that was drivel along the lines of You're Sixteen, so it makes sense!

 

[dr.bong]

Bobby Sherman UGH

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Now wait a minute. That song ("16, Beautiful, & you're mine") was covered by Ringo. The original version came out way ahead of the Beatles. I can't tell you the year, late 50's early 60's I would guess, and I think it was done by someone like Bobby Rydell or one of the Philly Sleazeballs. So I don't think it's the same Bobby Sherman as the bubble-gum idol.

Ringo of course made a brief career out of covering camp classics in a camp way. For the record, he changed the lyric to "out of my dreams, into my car." In the original it was "out of my dreams, into my heart". A small difference, but a typical Ringo joke.

---dr.M.

 

[alwaysawake]

Another bubblegum 'yuck song' was by a group called Ohio Express (I think)...called Yummy; Yummy; Yummy (I've got Love In My Tummy) ...placing two fingers down my throat and gagging!

 

[tendril]

Another bubblegum 'yuck song' was by a group called Ohio Express (I think)...called Yummy; Yummy; Yummy (I've got Love In My Tummy) ...placing two fingers down my throat and gagging!

Hell...that would be way up there in my 10 most hated songs!

Havent thought of it in years..thanks.....I think

 

[Artina Heartflash]

Now wait a minute. That song ("16, Beautiful, & you're mine") was covered by Ringo. The original version came out way ahead of the Beatles. I can't tell you the year, late 50's early 60's I would guess, and I think it was done by someone like Bobby Rydell or one of the Philly Sleazeballs. So I don't think it's the same Bobby Sherman as the bubble-gum idol.

Ringo of course made a brief career out of covering camp classics in a camp way. For the record, he changed the lyric to "out of my dreams, into my car." In the original it was "out of my dreams, into my heart". A small difference, but a typical Ringo joke.

---dr.M.

You're probably right. The rumor that Bobby Sherman is the author was passed to me in hearsay. The credited name being Robert Sherman, it made sense. Robert Sherman did the music for Mary Poppins anyway...that was sixties. Johnny Burnette did a version of " Sixteen" and he died in 1964.

Anyway, we've listed other worse songs here that would cause us to double-bag our barfs, before "Sixteen" would...Are we ready to vote yet?

 

[tonitits]

Another bubblegum 'yuck song' was by a group called Ohio Express (I think)...called Yummy; Yummy; Yummy (I've got Love In My Tummy) ...placing two fingers down my throat and gagging!

Hey now!!! Me and my cousins used to always sing that song when we were about 5-6 yrs old. It was great.

Just like the name game!

And my cousin Desi favorite, and it matches her personality, Dizzy, I'm so dizzy my head is spinning!

 

[dr.bong]

is there going to be a vote

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Important News!

If you want to hear some astonishingly bad pop music--the very worst of the the worst, music so incredibly bad that it's good--go to Miserable Melodies:

http://www.miserablemelodies.com/

What's great about this site is you can hear pieces of these songs quickly and easily and--Dear God In Heaven--are they bad!

William Shatner, obviously and definitely drunk, doing "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man", Attorney General John Ashcroft singing some patriotic pap called "Fly Eagle Fly", and the truly incredible Portsmouth Sinfonia.

I'm happy to report that Richard Harris is well represented there, and judging from the votes he's received, "MacArthur Park" is a very popular barfer. Check it out.

---dr.M.

 

[jubileeslave]

RosAnna Barr singing anything is bad

 

[Master1stgirl]

BooBoo Jones singing Dreaming

Dreaming of the land
that floats beyond the sea
dreaming of the baby
that is coming home to me

Dreaming dreaming dreaming
waiting out to see
will that pretty baby
make it out and back to me

Dreaming of the day
that brings reddenness from the sea
dreaming of that bitch
that is coming home to me

Dreaming dreaming dreaming
waiting out to see
will that pretty baby
make it out and back to me

dreaming of the moment
that brings the buzz from the speed
dreaming of the high
that makes the life want to receed

Dreaming dreaming dreaming
waiting out to see
will that pretty baby
make it out and back to me

*hospital sounds* (woman's voice very monotoned)
I'm sorry to inform you that you son died... a drug called LSD

 

[alwaysawake]

This one was overplayed so much in it's day that I can't stand it anymore!

Undercover Angel (Alan O'Day) 1977

Yeah yeah
Cryin' on my pillow
Lonely in my bed
Then I heard a voice beside me
And she softly said
"Thunder is your night light
Magic is your dream"
And as I held her she said, "See what I mean?"

Chorus 1:
I said "Whaaaat?"
She said "Ooo-ooo-ooo-wee"
I said "All right!"
She said "Love me, love me, love me"

Chorus 2:
Undercover angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel
The answer to my prayer
You made me know that there's a love for me out there
(Somewhere)
Yeah, somewhere

Heavenly surrender
Sweet afterglow (Undercover)
Givin' up my heart to you
Now, angel, don't go
She said, "Go find the right one
Love her and then
When you look into her eyes
You'll see me again"

Chorus 1

Chorus 2

Now you know my story
And girl, if it's right
I'm gonna take you in my arms
And love you tonight
Underneath the covers
The answer lies
Lookin' for my angel
In your sweet lovin' eyes

Chorus 1

Chorus 2

Undercover angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel
The answer to my prayer
Love me, love me, love me
Undercover angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel
The answer to my prayer
You made me know that there's a love for me out there

 

[jubileeslave]

but it was a cute song the first ten times


Muskrat Love was aggatating

 

[alwaysawake]

but it was a cute song the first ten times


Muskrat Love was aggatating

Muskrat Love and Barry Manilow's Mandy are on the same level...ewwwwwwww!

 

[jubileeslave]

I can't think of the name

I used to work in Chicgo
in a department store
thought I did a damne d good job
but I don't work there anymore

that was the chorus and the lines were very vulgar

the one that sticks out is this one

A lady came in for a drink one day
I asked her what she'd adore
Liqour she said
and that's what I did
but I don't work there anymore

 

[tonitits]

This one was overplayed so much in it's day that I can't stand it anymore!

Undercover Angel (Alan O'Day) 1977

Yeah yeah
Cryin' on my pillow
Lonely in my bed
Then I heard a voice beside me
And she softly said
"Thunder is your night light
Magic is your dream"
And as I held her she said, "See what I mean?"

Chorus 1:
I said "Whaaaat?"
She said "Ooo-ooo-ooo-wee"
I said "All right!"
She said "Love me, love me, love me"

Chorus 2:
Undercover angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel
The answer to my prayer
You made me know that there's a love for me out there
(Somewhere)
Yeah, somewhere

Heavenly surrender
Sweet afterglow (Undercover)
Givin' up my heart to you
Now, angel, don't go
She said, "Go find the right one
Love her and then
When you look into her eyes
You'll see me again"

Chorus 1

Chorus 2

Now you know my story
And girl, if it's right
I'm gonna take you in my arms
And love you tonight
Underneath the covers
The answer lies
Lookin' for my angel
In your sweet lovin' eyes

Chorus 1

Chorus 2

Undercover angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel
The answer to my prayer
Love me, love me, love me
Undercover angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel
The answer to my prayer
You made me know that there's a love for me out there

I LOVED that song, but I will agree that it was overplayed!!!!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

but it was a cute song the first ten times


Muskrat Love was aggatating

Muskrat Love!! How on earth could I have forgotten that execrable pile of juvenile slush? WIth that truly creepy rodent-chirping in the background?!

Look, there might have been worse songs recorded in human history, but was there EVER an example of a worse choice of a follow-up song to a mega-blockbuster? From the top to the sewer in one, unebelievable bad career move.

For those too young to know, The Captain and Tenielle went from who-cares Hollywood hang-abouts (the Captain's old man was Carmen Draggon, the conductor and leader of the LA Philharmonic, a very well-respected orchestra) to the King & Queen of pop on the strength of "Love Will Keep Us Together", penned by had-been 50's teen nerd Neil Sedaka (also classically trained, by the way), which just took over the radio for a summer like King Kong squatting on the empire state building. When the smoke and TV shows cleared, the pop world waited for their follow-up.

What they chose to record was a gaggingly sweet piece of treacle called "Muskrat Love", also by Sedaka (I think. Not absolutely sure), about the love between, I don't know, Muskrat Sally and Muskrat Jim or something, living in their muskrat house and all. It even had these chirring noises that I guess were supposed to be muskrats nuzzling each other in the backghround while a tinkly celeste twinkled in the background.

It was just astonishingly bad. Some music people I knew at the time were certain their must be a drug message hidden in the lyrics, or maybe a satanic spell recorded backwards in that muskratic burbling; there was no way two rational adults would foist that kind of nauseating smarm on the listening public, but there it was. The song was embarrassing to all who had anything to do with it--or even those unfortunate enough to hear it. It really made you ashamed to be a human being--and it sank like a stone, dealing the Cap'n & Tenielle a body blow they never recovered from. They made a few more half-hearted effort at pop respectabity but they were done for.

A classic. Worst career move ever. I second it.

---dr.M.

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Important News!

If you want to hear some astonishingly bad pop music--the very worst of the the worst, music so incredibly bad that it's good--go to Miserable Melodies:

http://www.miserablemelodies.com/

What's great about this site is you can hear pieces of these songs quickly and easily and--Dear God In Heaven--are they bad!

William Shatner, obviously and definitely drunk, doing "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man", Attorney General John Ashcroft singing some patriotic pap called "Fly Eagle Fly", and the truly incredible Portsmouth Sinfonia.

I'm happy to report that Richard Harris is well represented there, and judging from the votes he's received, "MacArthur Park" is a very popular barfer. Check it out.

---dr.M.

OMG..ty dr_m......I could stay here all day.

 

[jubileeslave]

found another one

Along came Jones by
Conway Twitty
(barfs)

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Re: Re: Important News!

OMG..ty dr_m......I could stay here all day.

Enrique Iglesias! He's represented here by an astonishing version of whatever-it-was that was his big hit. What's amazing is that it's a live-in-Concert recording, and they isolate his mike so you can hear what he sounds like after he's been singing his tits off for 90 minutes or so but just has to do this one last encore. His voice is just shot. He doesn't even try. He just kind of half shouts-half grunts the words. I'm no Iglesias fan, but the guy earns his money here. God help him.

In a concert like this, everything is so well mixed that you often don't even hear what the singer is doing, or if he's doing anything at all. This recording separates his vocal track out and it's unbelievable.

The same kind of trick was used to isolate Linda McCartney's jaw-dropping background track in Hey Jude. It's not nice to speak ill of the dead, but telling the truth isn't speaking ill, and the truth is that the woman couldn't carry a tune in a dump truck.

---dr.M.

 

[Master1stgirl]

I recall that one Juju
the back side of the 45 is called
"Letter to MY Ex-Wife"

 

[jubileeslave]

*laughes*

yeah that is right. Wish I could find it again

 

[alwaysawake]

Puppy Love by Donny Osmond was positively putrid! Yuck--ewwwwwww--gag!