Reach an orgasm

[SweetAsSuga]

So I'm 23 year old female, a virgin, and have been masturbating since I was a teen. The problem is, I've never been able to make myself have an orgasm and I would really love to have one. Any advice? Most often I just use my fingers and alternate between rubbing my clit and fingering myself. I don't have any toys and am open to suggestions on those as well.

 

[Satyriasis]

So I'm 23 year old female, a virgin, and have been masturbating since I was a teen. The problem is, I've never been able to make myself have an orgasm and I would really love to have one. Any advice? Most often I just use my fingers and alternate between rubbing my clit and fingering myself. I don't have any toys and am open to suggestions on those as well.

So, do you mean that you've never had an orgasm while masturbating or do you mean you've never had an orgasm at all? Some people have orgasms in their sleep without even trying!

As for toys, it doesn't hurt to try. My GF likes a vibrating egg which goes against her clitoris or inside her vagina. She really enjoys that. Of course another choice is something to insert way down your vagina.... you don't even need to buy something. Some ladies use hair brush handles and the like with great success. Sometimes I wish I was a woman.... I'd like to know how that feels.

Anyway, good luck. Even when you don't succeed, masturbation still feels good. As long as you enjoy the sensation, you'll succeed eventually.

 

[TexasWife25]

its as much mental as physical.

when you are masturbating are you just doing the motions or are your using your imagination too?
put on a porn, or read a lit story while you play.

I would just play with your clit and not try penetration, since you are a virgin

you just have to find what works for you.
gl

 

[StrayKat]

I used a shower head pointed right at my clit, it was the only way I could orgasm when I first started. Later I learned to use my finger but I remember it took a really long time until I got it right. Gets easier with practice, just be persistent.

 

[SweetAsSuga]

its as much mental as physical.

when you are masturbating are you just doing the motions or are your using your imagination too?
put on a porn, or read a lit story while you play.

I would just play with your clit and not try penetration, since you are a virgin

you just have to find what works for you.
gl

I use my imagination all the time. Sometimes I'll watch porn, but reading an erotic story gets me going even more than porn does.

When I can, I like to take my time and enjoy myself. Doing a little strip tease for myself and caressing my body before going for my clit. I guess I'm just too in my head and too caught up in trying to reach orgasm instead of letting it happen naturally.

 

[NaturistLouise]

Fantasy

I agree that using your imagination is a big part of the orgasm. Think about some fantasies and read some erotic stories to help get the imagination rolling. My fantasies often include BBC and having 3 guys gently carressing me and pleasuring me at the same time.

 

[BongoGal]

I'm probably not the best person to advise someone on how to have an orgasm if they are finding it difficult. (That's because orgasms come quickly and easily for me and have since I was in junior high.) I will say, though, that practice will surely help it become easier. More important, I suspect, is finding out as soon as possible what an orgasm feels like so that you know how the path to it feels and how it feels when you actually have one. To achieve this, I'd recommend using a vibrator on yourself. You'll find yourself getting beyond where your fingers have taken you before, and you'll find yourself building towards something, and soon that feeling will take on an aura of inevitability that something is close. Don't tense up to avoid what's around the corner; just let it happen. When it hits, you'll know it. Nothing else feels quite like it. My main caveat for this is that I recommend using a vibrator just as a starting point. A vibrator can be quick and easy, but you will be better off if you take what you learned with it and applied that knowledge to getting the job done with your fingers. If you learn to do it with your fingers, you are much more likely to achieve an orgasm with a lover. As fun and useful as vibrators can be, it is definitely better to not be reliant on them to have an orgasm.

 

[SweetAsSuga]

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has offered suggestions, both in this thread and through PMs. As of right now...still no orgasm.

A few of you have suggested using a vibrator to help me reach climax and I was wondering if there are any ones in particular that you all have used and enjoy.

 

[Dom4uinLvNv]

I hate to sound like a salesman here.. but if a Hitachi Magic Wand won't do the job. You need to seek an expert for advice...as in M.D.
Some women have been known to have a medical issue in regards to a climax.The percentage is very low. I truly hope this advice helps you...

 

[BongoGal]

A Magic Wand is an amazing tool and will get just about anyone there, but I think it would be too expensive and too powerful for a newbie. (Heck, I can go from 0 to Orgasm in under a minute with a Magic Wand.) I'd recommend something less intense. The thing is that you want to learn how to do it yourself, how to build yourself up until your dam bursts.

I was friends with a girl who thought she knew what an orgasm was, but it turned out that what she thought was an orgasm was really just being really turned-on. She would apparently stop before she came, somehow thinking that she already did. It was only when her boyfriend was going down on her and did not stop when she said she was done that she actually went over the edge and had an actual orgasm.

 

[SweetAsSuga]

I, again, just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and encouragement. And...I am happy to say that I FINALLY achieved orgasm! Two days ago I went out, bought a vibrator and played with it until I came.

Thanks again everyone. All the advice was extremely helpful.

 

[basic_desires]

I, again, just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and encouragement. And...I am happy to say that I FINALLY achieved orgasm! Two days ago I went out, bought a vibrator and played with it until I came.

Thanks again everyone. All the advice was extremely helpful.

Now of course you'll have to keep at it, you know....only practise makes perfect...

 

[SweetAsSuga]

Now of course you'll have to keep at it, you know....only practise makes perfect...

But of course. I am nothing if not a perfectionist.

 

[basic_desires]

But of course. I am nothing if not a perfectionist.

Glad to hear it. Of course you will have to face a panel of judges before you can reach expert status...

 

[Satyriasis]

I, again, just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and encouragement. And...I am happy to say that I FINALLY achieved orgasm! Two days ago I went out, bought a vibrator and played with it until I came.

Thanks again everyone. All the advice was extremely helpful.

Fantastic! Well done. What type of vibrator did you pick?

 

[RockHardKP]

Congratulations Suga!

A few days have passed since your first O......you have a lot of catching up to do......would love an update on your total, if you can leave your pussy alone for long enough that is!!

 

[Friendly_Guy]

The key to orgasm is relaxing and not focussing on it. You can overthink the process.

Of course, now that you've hit the big one and gotten through that barrier, it's always easier. Sort of like riding a bike....after the first few feet it's easy.

But if the problem comes back (so to speak) just remember not to try an force it. Relax and let yourself go in the moment.

And yes, guys can have this issue too.

 

[sammiluvscock]

Get a vibe and just use it on ur clit. I remember when I was a virgin I was able to masturbate to achieve an O, but maybe you need further stimulation??

 

[JackVettriano]

No pressure is the key

Just take your time and enjoy the feeling you are having. If you are thinking if how long it takes or what your missing or if your doing it right then you are going to struggle. Don't try to hard, just take your time and don't worry to much about it. If you are chasing an orgasm it may just get further away. Take it easy tease yourself and just enjoy the feelings you are having, then it may sneak up on you when you least expect it.

I hope this helps, and good luck. We are all behind you

 

[fisherman62051]

Suga... I think you need to have your lover direct you hand as you masturbate... you watch that person get aroused, you'll be more aroused.... more likely to cum... then when you're alone, you'll remember the heat of the experience... Good Luck!!

 

[Rikki_13]

A glass dildo is what helped me to really get over the edge with plenty of lube. If I want a quickie, intense orgasm I use the Hitachi Magic Wand. You can find it on amazon for about $40.

 

[joyride3441]

my G/F loves the vibrating bullet on her clit while i Fuck her

http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/bullet-egg-vibrators/impulse-pocket-paks-bullet