Raven's Beak: Knobby knee'd knight kan't dance...

[Ravenloft]

The room is large and dark... Silent and still, nothing moves, nothing can be seen, only the sence that all around is nothing but space. From the distance can be heard a heavy clanging sound, as of metal on concrete. A spot light beams from out of nowhere, illuminating a single figure clad in armor, visor down, the front plate is rounded for a rather rotuned indivudual... It is a comical sight even now. Suddenly, from an unseen sound system can be heard the nutcracker suite. The man in armor does his best to reinact a balette routine, but it is overtly clumsy, to all who's eyes peer at this seen unfold, it seems they are watching one of the hipos from fantasia trying to dance while stoned out of their minds... *clunk, clink, clang* And as the finally, this man in armor, lifts his visor, reveiling himself to be Ravenloft, as he slides on his armor clad knees, up to none other than... Beaker. A single red rose between his teeth.

Beaker only stares in horror at this...

Ravenloft spits out the rose, his arms out in a perfect "finally" stance, he says... "Im back baby!"

 

[Beaker]

Beaker watches this comical scene of stageplay thinking it was for his amusement. Unfortunately it is, just not in the way he expected. After banishing Ravenloft to the pits of the dungeon before, he never expected a return. So what does he do, he returns... with the nutcracker suite, a bad ballet impersonation and in full armour and...

he's here with a fuckin rose! Doesnt he know I'm allergic... and that I put him in the dungeon in the first place... Oh dear.

"Raven, what do you want from me?"

 

[Ravenloft]

Ravenlofts lips curl up in an angelic smile.

"Your felt, I want your felt... Felt felt felt! MMMM!"

Was all he said, over and over and over again, its started out as a chant then slipped into a rap, then a four man quartet, however he pulled that one off is a mystery, he was the only one singing after all.

 

[Beaker]

Raven an angel? Never

He has come back to stalk me all over again... I don't want him to have my felt.. let him have a pelt but not my precious felt.

"GUARDS! Take the four man quartet away... and that evil feltophile RAVEN... look at him drooling.. take him away take him awayyyyyyyyy."

 

[Ravenloft]

Shrieking as the guards step forward to man handle Ravenloft away from his prescious Beaker, he whips out a wicked looking peiring knife and flashes the edge in the spot light. "Just stay back you fucks! Beaker's felt is mine and I won't hesitate to skin him for it! Bwahahahahah!!!!! Do you hear me! St-stay back!" Ravenlofts eye starts to twitch as he licks at the knifes edge, glaring at Beaker intently.

 

[Beaker]

This is not good, Raven the rotund rebound has a knife. What are the use of guards, if not to stop slimy sleasy feltophilic fornictaors like him.

Fuck the guards, will anyone take this god-forsaken Raven away and leave me alone... is it really too much to ask.

"Goodbye Raven"

Beaker runs like hell to Dr Bunsen Honeydew

 

[Ravenloft]

As the poor defenceless Beaker bursts into Honeydews lab, he comes to a screeching halt, only to find poor poor Dr Bunsen dead, stuffed into a muppet sized jar of framaldahide. Not far behind, Ravenloft can be heard. "I am coming for you my little wonderkins... And when I get you... Im gonna hug you and squeeze you and love you and take you home as my very, very own... Yup, yup..."

 

[Beaker]

Beaker is not yet beaten... he sees a broken beaker and grabs it arming himself for the fight that must be coming.
There are more than one set of footsteps clattering down the hall ouside.
"Guards, guards, in here. HELP"

There muct be something else I can do... oh the door! *SLAM* There we go...

Beaker looks around... um what do I do now?

 

[Ravenloft]

"I am bleeding for you! Oooh god, let me in! Oh gggggggggod!!!" Ravenloft shrieks as he beats at the closed door, not even concidering using the nob... The guards come up to him, nervously watching Ravenloft as he claws at the closed door. One speaks up. "We have to take you back to the dungeon now Raven..." Raven whirls about, making one of them jump out of his skin. "I will NOT leave without my precious beaker... Just you stay the fuck back!" Raven shouts, his peiring knifed whiping wildly about him, fending the two guards to a distance.

 

[Beaker]

"GUARDS Seize him, or you will join him in Mistress Hecate's dungeon. And you KNOW what goes on there... dont you!"

Beaker retrieves Dr Bunsen Honeydew from the jar and hangs him on the windowsill to dry out... and waits for the guards to retrieve the sorry feltophile from the labatory entrance.

And then remembers the door is just closed, so he ventures towards the door hearing the bangs and screams of Raven as he tries to beg his way through.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Toting a large pizza box and a fully locked and loaded 60 (surplus ya know?), KillerMuffin, the Psychotic Pizza DeliveryMuffin, enters the dungeon.

"Who ordered the extra pepperoni with a side of breadsticks and a file?"

 

[Ravenloft]

"That would be me..." Ravenloft chirps as he waves his arms franticly about to get the psychotic pizza woman's attention.

His eyes go all dark and evil like as he speaks in a low menacing voice. "Finally... the day will come where I can have Beaker all to myself... Muahahah!!! But FIRST! How about that pizza!?"

 

[KillerMuffin]

"Cool. That'll be $38.50. Files ain't cheap, ya know? And you know I had to walk around Home Depot for an hour before I found the damned thing? The hot pizza garauntee doesn't apply cause of that whole file thing." PsychoticPizzaDeliveryMuffin stops to think for a moment. "Need some Chloraseptic for that throat problem? Maybe Sucrets? I can swing by the pharmacy and get some for an extra $20."

 

[Ravenloft]

Blinking once, twice, three times, Ravenloft thinks. "Put it on Beakers tab... He owes me one... Muahahahh! And, yes, I would like a losenge very much! But first... The pizza! MMM!" Looking up to see just how sexy and psychotic the pizza girl looks, Ravenloft reaches out for the pizza but instead brings the entire girl into the dungeon cell with him. He looks from the pizza box to her, once, twice, three times... For some reason, dice comes to his mind. He looks at her again, and smiles.

 

[KillerMuffin]

"Uh uh, buddy. No credit. Cash only. BigJohnson would have a fit if I don't come back with cash. No cash, no pizza, no breadsticks, no file."

 

[Ravenloft]

*Standing slack jawed, Ravenloft can't believe his ears.*

I never had this much trouble with you pizza people before! *He grumbled.* Here... Here's a fifty! Can you break it?