I AM LOOKING FOR ANY COMMENTS ON THE STORY. Good, bad, or ugly. I do know about the typos. Those were my fault--I sent the wrong version to the editors. I apologize and will not let it happen again.
Well - I don't usually like first person narrative, but in this case I think it works. I don't mean to generalize, but a lot of first person stories are short on plot and quick to the sex. This story was pretty quick to the sex but then it moved around a bit, developed the characters some, and then went back to the sex. I like a story to have some plot, but of course I enjoy the sex too, and your sex was great. All of the details made it seem real and kept my interest throughout. Thanks for writing it for us to read and keep the pen to the paper!
I usually write in third person, but in this case it worked better since I based it on a fantasy I had while diving with a lovely woman last summer. Alas, no I did not get a chance to act on it--except in my mind. I enjoyed the dream so much I thought I would share it.
I wrote and submitted another story (I am afraid that is in in first person also--but it is true confession genre so I hope it works) and hope it is posted soon. I am currently working on a series of stories to string together as an erotic novel (back to 3rd person) and hope to have the first chapter or two up in the near future. classes let out in a week so I will have more time to write soon.
