rape

[tabbybaby]

(You haven't seen me around here before, this is my first post. I'm Tabby. Hi! )

My boyfriend and I love to experiment with bondage and domination (him always being dominant). I'm his first sexual partner but he is quite a fast learner and is eager to try new things, just a tad lost. It's endearing, really. I've expressed to him that I would really enjoy being raped, however, neither of us are really sure how to go about that. I know this is an extremely vauge question, but I would really appreciate any words of advice or experiences you've had.

Thanks so much! I look forward to learning a lot from this community.

 

[Acanthus]

You simply can't rape the willing...

 

[tabbybaby]

You simply can't rape the willing...

Well, of course not, but it wouldn't be the sort of situation where it were planned. Just things to discuss between him and I about it.

Maybe it was a bit of a dumb question, I apologize.

 

[slippedhalo]

no such thing as a dumb question.
Maybe just let him know you'd like to be taken by surprise one time, that may be what you mean, yeah?

 

[silverwhisper]

you're talking about roleplaying rape, i trust, not an actual, literal rape?

ed

 

[wolf2002]

Maybe it was a bit of a dumb question, I apologize.

Not at all... Acathus' reply was dumb and I hope it didnt give you a bad first impression of this forum...

I love rape play. I think it depends how far you're willing to go. Once you have discussed the possibility its up to your bf to pick a right moment, I guess... though you could give some hints by wearing some slutty clothes... preferably old ones, so they can be ripped apart... after that its up to you how hard you struggle... though he might decide to tie you down...

One fantasy I still havent lived out is to take it outside... leaving her in some dark street, then drive by and drag her into the car...

Have fun!

 

[Let_it_come]

Good Question

Hi Tabby!

Rape is a really powerful fantasy and, for roleplay, can make for a really hot session.
You're honest enough to admit that you'd like to be raped - that is a big step forward & you obviously have the kind of relationship with your b/f where you can both talk about these things together. Fantastic!
Can I ask if he would like you to be raped too?
I only ask because I find the idea really hot that a b/f would like his g/f to be raped!
Some force should come in to it I think along with a little verbal & physical abuse. Being held down, clothes being torn - all of that.
Gang rape is a nice fantasy too... *daydreaming* ...
Most importantly the rapist should really go for it. No 'lovemaking' or foreplay, it should really be a very physical sexual assault. It has to feel like the crime it is.
Good Luck!

Jen

 

[tabbybaby]

you're talking about roleplaying rape, i trust, not an actual, literal rape?

ed

absolutely.

 

[tabbybaby]

Thanks for all the responses guys, I'll definitely remember what you've all said and talk it over with my boyfriend.

And to let_it_come, he didn't really seem to be for or against it. He's pretty willing to experiment though, so we'll see.

 

[silverwhisper]

rape fantasies are not that uncommon, i understand.

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

So, my suggestion would be - think of what your ideal fantasy would involve. Should he pick you up somewhere? Should he blindfold you or should he be wearing a mask? Will there be a weapon involved?

Then, decide whats practical, and whats safe.

Do not forget to have a safeword (or code word) for either of you to use if you become uncomfortable.

 

[Vixandra]

Safe words are a must.

One of the common sets:

Green- full speed ahead.
Yellow- slow down, I'm starting to not like this...
Red- STOP. All games stop and an "out of character" check on the other's wellbeing is done.

In a role play that has a violent nature, such as a rape one, safety is a big issue. If he things your screams of "no, don't!" are all for fun, how will he know to stop? So decide upon easy to remember safe words a head of time.
Trust me, it could save your relationship from something horrible.


Okay, that out of the way- might want to invest in a pair of fur-lined hand cuffs or wide leather cuffs. Wear old cloths you don't mind loosing.
A man grabs you in your home.
Throws you onto the bed, handcuffs you there and proceeds to methodically cut off every bit of clothing you're wearing with a pair of scissors (preferably emt style safety scissors so they don't cut you).
Insert rapey goodness and life's 'fun.'

And make sure you don't yell loud enough to scare the neighbors.

 

[Magic_Dick]

I know someone who claims to have played out the rape fantasy. He said that his girlfriend fantasized about being raped, so he actually put on a mask and broke into her house and raped her. She told him about it the next day, and although she never asked him, it was pretty obvious she suspected he was the rapist. After that, she started telling him about all the other wild stuff she wanted to try, so it must have been really good for her.

 

[Let_it_come]

Thanks for all the responses guys, I'll definitely remember what you've all said and talk it over with my boyfriend.

And to let_it_come, he didn't really seem to be for or against it. He's pretty willing to experiment though, so we'll see.

Lovely -
I hope he rapes you beautifully!
Jen

 

[Wyldfire]

(You haven't seen me around here before, this is my first post. I'm Tabby. Hi! )

My boyfriend and I love to experiment with bondage and domination (him always being dominant). I'm his first sexual partner but he is quite a fast learner and is eager to try new things, just a tad lost. It's endearing, really. I've expressed to him that I would really enjoy being raped, however, neither of us are really sure how to go about that. I know this is an extremely vauge question, but I would really appreciate any words of advice or experiences you've had.

Thanks so much! I look forward to learning a lot from this community.

The way I've always done this particular fantasy is to let your attacker know what you want and you arrange a time period, no hard fast time, just a period of time that you will leave your front door open. Then you proceed to do whatever it is you normally do. Lounge around, take a bath, whatever. His job is to get into your place quietly and to make the assault. Not knowing exactly when he's coming adds something to the experience.

 

[Moxon4]

So, my suggestion would be - think of what your ideal fantasy would involve. Should he pick you up somewhere? Should he blindfold you or should he be wearing a mask? Will there be a weapon involved?

Then, decide whats practical, and whats safe.

Do not forget to have a safeword (or code word) for either of you to use if you become uncomfortable.

I totally agree with what was said above, Try to figure out a time or night when it can happen, the anticipation of not knowing when it will happen will be more than enough to get you going. Have a safe word if it goes too far, but the two of you should just set a few ground rules first and make sure he understands your fantasy.

It's actually a pretty common fantasy I think

 

[Wyldfire]

I totally agree with what was said above, Try to figure out a time or night when it can happen, the anticipation of not knowing when it will happen will be more than enough to get you going. Have a safe word if it goes too far, but the two of you should just set a few ground rules first and make sure he understands your fantasy.

It's actually a pretty common fantasy I think

It is. A lot of women have that fantasy. I actually even know a man or two with the same fantasy.

 

[Moxon4]

It is. A lot of women have that fantasy. I actually even know a man or two with the same fantasy.

Raped by a woman? or a man?

 

[Wyldfire]

Raped by a woman? or a man?

One of them's gay and wants a woman to get a hold of him. The other's straight and wants a man. .

 

[M's girl]

One of them's gay and wants a woman to get a hold of him. The other's straight and wants a man. .

And then they say women are complicated....

 

[Wyldfire]

And then they say women are complicated....

I think it has something to do with the whole being forced thing. They want what they don't prefer to take them.

 

[tabbybaby]

And then they say women are complicated....

Hahahaha

 

[M's girl]

I think it has something to do with the whole being forced thing. They want what they don't prefer to take them.

Probably so.....

 

[SweetErika]

Welcome, Tabby. I don't know about your guy, but mine would be totally lost and recoil if I said I wanted to be raped -- that's a powerful word we equate with a lot of pain and he would never dream of doing anything against my will and hurting me. So, if we wanted to act out that type of fantasy, we'd do the following:

-- Discuss what I meant and wanted thoroughly. Some of the stories in the Nonconsent/Reluctance and BDSM categories really get me going, so I'd give him some of those to get ideas from.

-- Define clear boundaries/limits, safe words and signals (a necessary back up if there's a possibility of not being able to speak or heard due to a gag, hand over the mouth, or whatever).

-- Consider and gather any props, toys or tools that might add to the excitement and safety.

-- Have a few smaller, trial sessions, then talk about how they went and what we might change.

That might seem like overkill to some, but we'd rather err on the side of caution than risk fantasies turning into nightmares.

Not at all... Acathus' reply was dumb and I hope it didnt give you a bad first impression of this forum...

No, Acathus' reply was far from dumb -- it was right on the mark. A big part of the definition of 'rape' is unwilling/without consent. Therefore, when acts are requested and all participants are willing, it can't possibly be rape. No one feels the emotional pain of a rape when the acts are consensual. "Rape play/fantasies" is an oxymoron for everyone apart from the sick fucks who enjoy brutalizing others; reluctance, forceful, rough sex, nonconsent roleplay, BDSM, etc., can be better descriptors for fantasies and play.

A good analogy might be spanking. If I ask my partner to spank me, it'll be an exciting, satisfying event. However, if they were to spank me out of anger or when I didn't consent to it, it'd be assault, and I'd be very hurt, angry and likely to press charges. I couldn't call the spanking I requested and enjoyed assault because I was a willing, active participant, and it'd be asinine to suggest my partner had assaulted me upon request and with my full consent, right?

It's impossible to violate someone --assault, rape or otherwise-- with their consent.

And I can't imagine seeing a member call a reply 'dumb' gives a newbie a particularly good impression of the forum either.

 

[wolf2002]

It was right on the mark

:sigh: I guess I just have to live with the fact that every discussion about rape play has to start with several posts stressing it is wrong to take someone against her will... reminds me why I dont frequent the GB very much... better go before I scare off any newcomers...