Rants

[Calamity Jane]

The son of a bitch (my father-in-law) hit my daughter! I heard about it after the fact, and was ready to just fucking kill him. THEN my sister-in-law was giggling about it to my husband... about how the kids just have to learn that when grandpa says no, he means it.

This is after they've been in my house for 4 days... and my SIL has insulted my weight, my cooking, the condition of my kitchen, my kid's hair, and commented countless times on how hard my poor husband works to 'keep it all together'.

I am so fucking glad that they're leaving in the morning! But I get to look forward to them coming to stay with us for 2 weeks in January!

The worst part is, when I was trying to tell my husband that they were driving me insane, and I was thinking about killing his father, he said "Just deal with it, and leave me alone, I put up with your family too." My family, who never comes to visit, and who he hasn't accompanied me to see in 6 months...

i'm thinking of changing my name and joining the circus...

this has been a random rant by PCG... we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming

 

[modest mouse]

Family strife is one thing but hitting your daughter is an entirely different thing. You have every right to be steaming mad, absolutley fucking livid in fact.

 

[Laurel]

Absolutely. If I were you, I would put the pressure on. It's unfair of your husband to allow his relatives to be abusive & rude to you, yet expect you to sit and smile. Take your FIL to task for hitting your child! Tell your SIL to take her weight comments and shove em! Tell her to go eat out if she doesn't like your cooking! It sucks to be confrontational, I know, but you should not have to put aside your self-respect for your husband's comfort. YOU should be his #1. If he, a grown man, can't stand up to his own family, then you need to be the one to defend yourself. Because that is just plain wrong for him - your life love - to not protect you from that nonsense.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[morninggirl5]

I don't have a father-in-law, but I've been in a similar position with an uncle regarding my nephew. For the past three years, I have not been in the same room as him and I won't be until he respects my wishes regarding my nephew.

Simply tell your father-in-law that if he ever hits one of your children again, he will not be welcome in your home. It won't make you many friends in the family, but you will have protected your child. It sounds like your husband doesn't approve of his families' actions but doesn't want to be the one to rock the boat. Fuck that. This is his child, too. Grandpa needs to learn that when you say No in your house, you mean it.

 

[Laurel]

It sounds like your husband doesn't approve of his families' actions but doesn't want to be the one to rock the boat. Fuck that. This is his child, too.

Amen and Hallelujah!

I think people get stuck in this trap where they feel like they have to put up with utter bullshit in the name of "family". Abusers and jerks within your sphere will use this to their advantage. This is why child abuse is so pervasive and insidious.

I have always been of the opinion that blood relatives must be held to many of the same standards to which we hold non-relatives. Respect must ALWAYS be earned. And children must be protected at all costs - period.

 

[Moridin187]

They're right PCG, this isn't a random or pointless rant. You've got the right, nay, the obligation to be pissed here. People have no right to come into your home and start insulting you and it. And if anyone ever touched my child (scary thought... Moridin spawn..) they'd wind up with broken hands, FIL or no FIL

 

[Rubyfruit]

Girl, you have every right to be mad. If anybody took a hand to one of my kids, I'd have a hard time not smacking them right back (out of sight of the kids, of course).

I feel for you. My in-laws are annoying, but they don't seem as bad as yours. Two weeks in January? Hon, come for a visit. We have a lovely guest suite and your kids could play with mine. Plus, I'll roll you one mother of a joint.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Calamity Jane]

Girl, you have every right to be mad. If anybody took a hand to one of my kids, I'd have a hard time not smacking them right back (out of sight of the kids, of course).

I feel for you. My in-laws are annoying, but they don't seem as bad as yours. Two weeks in January? Hon, come for a visit. We have a lovely guest suite and your kids could play with mine. Plus, I'll roll you one mother of a joint.

Reno huh?

My kids may scare the living hell out of yours though, they make thing one and thing two seem tame!

but ohhh... does that joint sound good! i think i rediscovered my stoner roots last night!

 

[Rubyfruit]

Reno huh?

My kids may scare the living hell out of yours though, they make thing one and thing two seem tame!

but ohhh... does that joint sound good! i think i rediscovered my stoner roots last night!

I rediscovered my stoner roots at the Santana concert, Hollywood Bowl, October 1999 (I think - it's all a blur now).

Sweetheart, there is no way your kids could scare mine. My adorable little heathens would be pleased as punch to have other littles ones to teach their naughty ways to.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

as for 2 cents, I'll put mine up.


Do talk to FiL about it. I don't know how discipline goes in your house, but if my FiL told my kids 'No', and they continued, ther'd be consequences. So talk to him about appropriate consequencs, and about consulting you.

By the same token, rip shit out of Husband. In all things he must be one with you to all the world (alone, you can work out your differences), not standing up to his family can tear you apart, I've seen it. He may love them, and fear them, but he chose you, and he chose children. Those choices make you number one priority. And if he has a problem with your family, he needs to talk about it so you can return the favour.

Back to your regularly scheduled programme.

 

[Rubyfruit]

By the same token, rip shit out of Husband. In all things he must be one with you to all the world (alone, you can work out your differences), not standing up to his family can tear you apart, I've seen it. He may love them, and fear them, but he chose you, and he chose children. Those choices make you number one priority. And if he has a problem with your family, he needs to talk about it so you can return the favour.

Thank you Juspar. That was inspired, truly.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

*humbled* my pleasure m'am

 

[Laurel]

My family makes your husband's family look like the Cleavers. My dad used to absolutely terrorize my dates and friends, to the point where I quit bringing anyone home. My relatives were catty, evil monsters. When I moved out, I told myself I would NEVER put my SO in a position where they had to deal with those evil people. I haven't talked to any of them for nearly 10 years, and I don't regret it.

I'm not saying your husband should cut ties with his family. I AM saying that, like Juspar & Ruby & everyone already so eloquently said, he has to put you first. And if he won't tell them where to go, you should.

 

[Cheyenne]

Is this "hit" as in hauled off and sailed your kid against the wall? Took a belt to him/her? Spanked the child? What? The opening of the thread sounds like the child was really hurt.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Is this "hit" as in hauled off and sailed your kid against the wall? Took a belt to him/her? Spanked the child? What? The opening of the thread sounds like the child was really hurt.

no, she wasn't thrown against the wall... or even injured. but that isn't really the point.

she's 21 months old. and she opened her older sister's birthday present when she found it sitting on the kitchen table. i wasn't around, but apparently, she'd picked it up a few minutes before, and grandpa had said 'no' and then put it back down in exactly the same place... so she opened it.

he saw her with the package again, saw that it was partially opened, picked her up, swatted her butt, yelled at her, threw the gift across the room, and stomped out of the house. Unruly was terrified, and her screaming woke me up.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Canabalism perhaps?............

The son of a bitch (my father-in-law) hit my daughter! I heard about it after the fact, and was ready to just fucking kill him. THEN my sister-in-law was giggling about it to my husband... about how the kids just have to learn that when grandpa says no, he means it.

This is after they've been in my house for 4 days... and my SIL has insulted my weight, my cooking, the condition of my kitchen, my kid's hair, and commented countless times on how hard my poor husband works to 'keep it all together'.

I am so fucking glad that they're leaving in the morning! But I get to look forward to them coming to stay with us for 2 weeks in January!

The worst part is, when I was trying to tell my husband that they were driving me insane, and I was thinking about killing his father, he said "Just deal with it, and leave me alone, I put up with your family too." My family, who never comes to visit, and who he hasn't accompanied me to see in 6 months...

i'm thinking of changing my name and joining the circus...

this has been a random rant by PCG... we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming

Er, um, is it really canabalism if they DON'T catch you eating your in-laws? (Don't forget the Chianti)

Just a suggestion.........

Phantom

 

[Rubyfruit]

he saw her with the package again, saw that it was partially opened, picked her up, swatted her butt, yelled at her, threw the gift across the room, and stomped out of the house. Unruly was terrified, and her screaming woke me up.

I am so fucking sick of people, mainly "older" people who've raised their kids their way thinking they know everything.

A not-quite 2 year old child does not have the self-control to leave an unopened gift alone. Should she be told no? Sure. Should she be redirected? Yep. Should the fucking gift be put out of her sight and reach? Absolutely. Should the cranky old fart be shot? That's up to you, Girl.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Okay. A helpful suggestion....

no, she wasn't thrown against the wall... or even injured. but that isn't really the point.

she's 21 months old. and she opened her older sister's birthday present when she found it sitting on the kitchen table. i wasn't around, but apparently, she'd picked it up a few minutes before, and grandpa had said 'no' and then put it back down in exactly the same place... so she opened it.

he saw her with the package again, saw that it was partially opened, picked her up, swatted her butt, yelled at her, threw the gift across the room, and stomped out of the house. Unruly was terrified, and her screaming woke me up.

I had a similar situation many years ago with one of my relatives and one of the kids where corporal punishment was administered to one of mine for a truly trivial thing (to an experienced parent).

So what I did was the VERY same thing to the relative. I NEVER had another incident after that and it was never discussed as well, ever! They GOT the point!

So, here's what you do. Sneak up on the relative. SWAT the hell out of their ass. YELL at the top of your lungs. Throw the SAME present (partially opened again, of course) against a handy wall. Storm out of the house.

Come back 10 minutes later and act like nothing has happened.

I bet you anything, they won't mention it and that behaviour will not reoccur.

Just a thought...............

Phantom.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Re: Okay. A helpful suggestion....

So, here's what you do. Sneak up on the relative. SWAT the hell out of their ass. YELL at the top of your lungs. Throw the SAME present (partially opened again, of course) against a handy wall. Storm out of the house.

Come back 10 minutes later and act like nothing has happened.

LMFAO

Gods, if they weren't leaving in the morning (hopefully before i drag my lazy ass out of bed) i'd be so tempted to do exactly that!

 

[miles]

pagancowgirl

Sounds like grandpa is working with a room temp IQ and is hauling a suitcase full of issues. He set a trap for the child so he could "discipline" her. A geriatric fucktard.

I'd kick the old fart in the balls and tell him when you say hands off your child, you mean it.

Seriously, you may want to consider someone outside the family to help you work through this. And never leave your child alone with him.

 

[Problem Child]

I'll make your whole family go away. Seriously.

I'll tell them they're all going to be on the Springer show, and then put them on a plane to Bolivia.

 

[seXieleXie]

My relatives were catty, evil monsters

does no one else see the irony?

 

[Rubyfruit]

I'll make your whole family go away. Seriously.

I'll tell them they're all going to be on the Springer show, and then put them on a plane to Bolivia.

Me, in Bolivia at age 2. I'm the blond.

 

[Laurel]

does no one else see the irony?

LOL!