Quotes, italics, or none of the above?

[GodBlessTexas]

Hey all. Once again, I need assistance. I am writing in third-person-omniscient, and I'm not sure how to handle the thoughts of the characters. Here are the three ways I've contemplated:

1. "Fuck that," he thought to himself.

2. Fuck that, he thought to himself.

3. Fuck that, he thought to himself.

Is one of these ways grammatically correct? Is it optional? I'm in the middle of the third chapter of my first series, and I just now realized I probably haven't used a standard method for handling these "quoted thoughts."

Any help would be great!

 

[Guest]

Number 2. No, I'm not being rude.

I always put my character's internal thoughts in italics. However, do you need to have the phrase "he thought to himself"? If you do, because otherwise it would be vague, cool. If not, and it is clear that he is thinking to himself, leave that out entirely.

Lou

 

[Guest]

#1 will always work. I use italics, but in your example #2 it's difficult to tell if "he thought" is necessary w/o the rest of the para. #3 can work too. I think you need only be consistent throughout the text.

P.

edited cos I addressed the wrong poster, D'oh!

 

[GodBlessTexas]

Many thanks to both of you! I imagined that it was indeed a matter of preference and consistency. But those of us that have a small obsession problem with proper grammar are compelled to ask such things!

 

[Guest]

#1 will always work. I use italics, but in your example #2 it's difficult to tell if "he thought" is necessary w/o the rest of the para. #3 can work too. I think you need only be consistent throughout the text.

P.

Yeah, you're probably right, but as I said, that's just how I do it. It's also how I see it done in most books I read. However, most novels I read are contemporary horror, so I don't know if the conventions are different in "mainstream" writing.

I recently read a Simon Clark book (Vampirrhic Rites) and he had a lot of internal thinking of characters going on. It was also written in 3PO. He used italics and never once stated "he/she thought" at any point. He made it clear in other ways, most notably by setting out the italicised thoughts in a paragraph of their own each time. I was never in any doubt as to who was having the thoughts. Also, he's a very skilled writer.

Lou

Edited Perdita's quote. See above.

 

[tiger_smurf]

I'd use the italics, but not the he thought part. That adds more drama, and if you use it throughout the text it sounds very cool, and flows well. I've always considered writing thoughts out like dialogue to be boring to read.

-ck

 

[Boota]

I would either use - Fuck that - in italics by itself, or if you use - he thought to himself - with it, I would use Fuck that in italics with single quotes. I'm not sure if it's exactly right, but I've seen it that way and it works for me. I guess as long as it is established that he inded thought Fuck that to himself, all is well.

 

[NoJo]

Agree with tiger about the "he thought" being redundant.

I use 2 without the "he/she thought" in my own stuff.

I've started writing a story recently after almost a year's break, having spent most of my writing time on screenplays. It's tough going back to it.

In screenplays, internal dialog is obviously not possible. You also use the present tense. I'm trying to write my story in this way. I've ended up using 3, but without the "he thought to himself".

"He thought to himself" is doubly redundant: There's no other way to think other than to yourself. (Unless you're contrasting it with "he thought out loud").

This is the first para of my story:


The Knife-Thrower appraises his face in the mirror as he pees noisily. What else could he have become with a face like that? A bad guy in a Western, perhaps. The make-up artists wouldn’t need to add the scar. But they didn’t make Westerns anymore. A gigolo, then. But Gigolos went out in the nineteen thirties. Maybe a bartender. He does up his fly.

 

[gauchecritic]

Unless it's mind control or Sci-fi then there isn't really anyone else he can be thinking it to, other than himself. So you can have the "Fuck that." he thought. or "Fuck that.".

I think the convention is that italics in quotes are thoughts.

So then you have a different kind of qualifier to add 'drama'

"Fuck that." He thought, hedging his bets.

or

"Fuck that." Hedging his bets.

Well that's what I do anyway.

Gauche

 

[SnoopDog]

Here in germany the correct way is No.1. But I always think the 2nd way is the best in making it clear. Then again if you have a lot of stream of conscience or have to emphasize a lot of things then it would be better to do that in italics and use quotes for speeches.

Snoopy

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Hey all. Once again, I need assistance. I am writing in third-person-omniscient, and I'm not sure how to handle the thoughts of the characters. Here are the three ways I've contemplated:

1. "Fuck that," he thought to himself.

2. Fuck that, he thought to himself.

3. Fuck that, he thought to himself.

Is one of these ways grammatically correct? Is it optional? I'm in the middle of the third chapter of my first series, and I just now realized I probably haven't used a standard method for handling these "quoted thoughts."

Any help would be great!

GBT,

Please permit me to quote from the Good Book, The Chicago Manual of Style: "The choice--in fiction especially, but in other writing as well--should be the author's, but consistency ought to be observed within a single work."

Just another fine service of No Hope Enterprises

Rumple Foreskin, prop.

 

[Weird Harold]

"He thought to himself" is doubly redundant: There's no other way to think other than to yourself. (Unless you're contrasting it with "he thought out loud").

This is the first para of my story:


The Knife-Thrower appraises his face in the mirror as he pees noisily. What else could he have become with a face like that? A bad guy in a Western, perhaps. The make-up artists wouldn’t need to add the scar. But they didn’t make Westerns anymore. A gigolo, then. But Gigolos went out in the nineteen thirties. Maybe a bartender. He does up his fly.

"To himself" is one of my pet peeves. I ca't recll any time I've ever seen it used that it added anything to the story except words -- even inthe few cases where it's marginally appropriate.

I quoted the first paragrah of your story toraise anther point about using internal dialogue -- no matter what tense your story is in, character tend to think in present tense.

In your example, without Italics, you're reporting the knife throwers thoughts instead of showing them. I would use Italics and show his thoughts:

The Knife-Thrower appraises his face in the mirror as he pees noisily. What else could I be with a face like that? A bad guy in a Western, perhaps. The make-up artists wouldn’t need to add the scar. But they don’t make Westerns anymore. A gigolo, then. But Gigolos went out in the nineteen thirties. Maybe a bartender. He does up his fly.

 

[NoJo]

My rule of thumb is to use as little as possible, weird. Which is why no italics are probably necessary in the paragraph. You knew what was thinking and what was action. If it ended up confusing, I'd have put them in. Personally I think you can get a good effect when you conflate action and thought to the same level: I like fucking with reality.

 

[Weird Harold]

My rule of thumb is to use as little as possible, weird. Which is why no italics are probably necessary in the paragraph. You knew what was thinking and what was action. If it ended up confusing, I'd have put them in. Personally I think you can get a good effect when you conflate action and thought to the same level: I like fucking with reality.

Either way works.

You just provided an example to show what the difference between telling thought and showing literal thoughts is.

I tend to prefer literal thoughts and lots of regular dialogue becaue thepresent tense makes them more "immediate" without having to tell the entire story in present tense.

 

[snooper]

... So you can have the "Fuck that." he thought. ...

"Fuck that." He thought, hedging his bets.
...

"Fuck that." Hedging his bets.

In each of these cases the purist would object to the full stop immediately before the ". It should be a comma, and then the "He" or "Hedging" is not capitalised.