Quirky Limits

[midwestyankee]

<snip>


I just remembered one other very hard (perhaps quirky limit) My husband is from Boston and he is very open to let me do what I want, but absolutely under no circumstance am I to ever have sex or enter into a relationship with a NY Yankee fan.

I firmly believe that this would be a hard limit for me as well (it's presently untested by temptation). No Yankee or Mets fans, thank you very much.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yes and no. The [abandonment] monsters still bang at the doors of their cage, and it takes conscious awareness and "work" on my part to make sure they stay locked up, even if I've been warned that XYZ will leave little or no time for me for ___ number of days. A 2 line email or 5 minute phone call every 48 hours? The fear dissapates; the monsters curl up and take a nap. 3 days of silence? The monsters start trying to pick the lock and escape.

ETA - that I have to remain aware of it, and it shows up enough to need my control over it, even if I know in advance that I'll drop off the priorities list, is why I consider it quirky.

(Baggage? Did someone around here mention baggage? Mine is all tucked up in a fabulous matching set of vintage hardside alligator luggage, complete with steamer trunk. )

I get this one completely. Sure, folks get busy. But come on, how freaking long does it take to type ILY into your phone every few days and hit the send button? What are we talking about, here? Thirty seconds? Sorry, but I just don't buy the "I just won't have time for you for a week, honey" argument at all.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Yes and no. The [abandonment] monsters still bang at the doors of their cage, and it takes conscious awareness and "work" on my part to make sure they stay locked up, even if I've been warned that XYZ will leave little or no time for me for ___ number of days. A 2 line email or 5 minute phone call every 48 hours? The fear dissapates; the monsters curl up and take a nap. 3 days of silence? The monsters start trying to pick the lock and escape.

ETA - that I have to remain aware of it, and it shows up enough to need my control over it, even if I know in advance that I'll drop off the priorities list, is why I consider it quirky.

(Baggage? Did someone around here mention baggage? Mine is all tucked up in a fabulous matching set of vintage hardside alligator luggage, complete with steamer trunk. )

I don't like silence either. It makes me crazy, it doesn't help the relationship in any way for me.

As far as being too busy to email, even my husband when deployed would email me tiny one liners "I love you, I'm busy, kiss the kids for me" every other day or so. Of course the bad part about that is when some legitimate reason came up and he couldn't email me for a week I immediately thought the worse.

 

[HottieMama]

Does it affect you that way if you are given advance notice? If it does, yeah, quirky. If it doesn't, nah, not in my opinion. If am in a relationship with someone, regular contact is a given. If contact from them fails for a while, I get widgey too.

I just don't find this quirky, or even something that a "grown woman" should feel poorly about herself for having trouble with. I would say that it is common. The only difference between you and the rest is that you have the strength and emotional werewithal to remove yourself from a situation in which a pattern of emotional neglect becomes obvious.

Then again, it could just be that our quirks are on the same frequency, and thus yours seems normal to me. *shrug*

It doesn't affect me AS MUCH if i am given advanced noticed. FOR ME, i have also noticed that how much is affects me is based on how secure i am in the relationship to begin with. In my relationship now, the effects are extremely minimal. i'm usually just really excited when he is home and back in contact. With my ex, it was extremely difficult because i was VERY insecure about our relationship and always doubted him. (Shoulda followed my instincts on that one.)

 

[Recidiva]

I get this one completely. Sure, folks get busy. But come on, how freaking long does it take to type ILY into your phone every few days and hit the send button? What are we talking about, here? Thirty seconds? Sorry, but I just don't buy the "I just won't have time for you for a week, honey" argument at all.

This ruined more than one relationship for me.

I can understand being busy. I can't understand not taking a moment in a day to celebrate each other.

I can't imagine being an inconvenience, I never want to be considered to be one.

 

[HottieMama]

I get this one completely. Sure, folks get busy. But come on, how freaking long does it take to type ILY into your phone every few days and hit the send button? What are we talking about, here? Thirty seconds? Sorry, but I just don't buy the "I just won't have time for you for a week, honey" argument at all.

Exactly...

 

[midwestyankee]

This ruined more than one relationship for me.

I can understand being busy. I can't understand not taking a moment in a day to celebrate each other.

I can't imagine being an inconvenience, I never want to be considered to be one.

Exactly.

It's not as if communicating your celebration of the relationship these days requires you to shoot down a turkey with a bow and arrow, pull out a feather, sharpen the quill of the feather, brew some ink out of pig's knuckles, make your own parchment, and compose seven pages of flowery prose written in a script that would make a fourteenth century monk jealous.

Though a nicely written note on good paper from a fine pen does have its charms.

 

[Recidiva]

Exactly.

It's not as if communicating your celebration of the relationship these days requires you to shoot down a turkey with a bow and arrow, pull out a feather, sharpen the quill of the feather, brew some ink out of pig's knuckles, make your own parchment, and compose seven pages of flowery prose written in a script that would make a fourteenth century monk jealous.

Though a nicely written note on good paper from a fine pen does have its charms.

This is one of my needs, and it's really not about abandonment, it's about joy.

I'm a truly hopeless romantic and so much of my day is in that Agape state of "You're So Cool"

If I'm not with someone like that, I feel like they've been shortchanged by karma and I should cut them loose for their own good.

I'm SO doing the pig's knuckle thing.

 

[Homburg]

Meh, again, I fail to consider it quirky. And I think that anyone considerate enough to be worthy would not have a problem with such contact needs. There's nothing onerous there at all.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[midwestyankee]

It's a combination of romance and fear for me... I try to focus on the romantic side, but have to acknowledge the fear, too.

BTW, Boiling oak galls (the little papery thin airy things that sometimes show up on trees in the fall - they're actually the result of a weird insect which "stings" the tree), makes a decent ink... it's what they really used in the 14th century.

Why did I know that you'd come in with the correct reference?

 

[HottieMama]

Meh, again, I fail to consider it quirky. And I think that anyone considerate enough to be worthy would not have a problem with such contact needs. There's nothing onerous there at all.

[hijack]

i just have to say that the more i read your posts, the more i like you. i love the perspective you have on a lot of issues and the fact that you aren't afraid to seem vulnerable. It's an endearing trait.

[/hijack]

 

[Recidiva]

It's a combination of romance and fear for me... I try to focus on the romantic side, but have to acknowledge the fear, too.

BTW, Boiling oak galls (the little papery thin airy things that sometimes show up on trees in the fall - they're actually the result of a weird insect which "stings" the tree), makes a decent ink... it's what they really used in the 14th century.

There really needs to be more ink from flowers. It's more romantic than "pig knuckle" or "oak gall" or "distillation of my own blood."

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Recidiva]

[book geek hijack]

I would imagine if you looked into vegetable/plant based dyes, you'd find flowers that would make good ink.

[/book geek hijack]

Or even Murex. Then I could get that cool purple.

But where would I get the glitter. Oh well.

 

[Homburg]

[hijack]

i just have to say that the more i read your posts, the more i like you. i love the perspective you have on a lot of issues and the fact that you aren't afraid to seem vulnerable. It's an endearing trait.

[/hijack]

*blush*

I'm not sure what to say to this. Thank you.

If there is anything I've learned in my time, it is to be unfailingly honest in matters of the heart. Nothing does more harm than a well-intentioned lie in this context.

*bows*

 

[shy slave]

I hate the silence as well. Like recidiva my need to have communication has broken up more than one relationship.
I have been called everything from 'difficult' to 'needy'
I don't need a call every ten minutes, but touching base once a day seems reasonable. Even if it is a two minute call before sleep.

I like the idea that a text message means that person has thought about me, for at least the time it takes to type a message. I am not that romantic, but I do like to know I crossed their mind at some point during a day.

This new person I am slowly getting to know is ok about communication. We talk everyday even if it is for a brief amount of time. That may not sound a great deal, but all my previous BDSM relationships and most of my vanilla ones have been LDR. It is weird to find he wants to see me more than every few weeks. Equally weird to spend time together and then go home, as oppose to staying the night due to the time it takes to travel to see each other.

Even more odd, he doesn't think I am 'difficult.' He thinks I am other things, but not that lol

In many ways this relationship is a whole new country.

 

[Homburg]

CutieMouse, I think it's official. It's just not that quirky. Not one solitary soul has piped up with a "Oh yeah, that inside of the elbow issue? Me too, all day!", but a pile of people have been sounding off in agreement with your limit.

*feels exposed and crosses his arms*

No touching. Off limits. Do not want.

 

[myinnerslut]

bugs


you bring one near me and i WILL shriek. you bring one near me while i am unable to move and youu better pray your faster then me when i get untied.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[bholderman]

A second male, sorry, I try to but the second guy thing stops me in my tracks. I think its a competition thing and I know I'll lose.

 

[Homburg]

CM - Okay, the back is a bit quirky.

Brad - A lot of men feel that way.


quirk·y /ˈkwɜrki/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kwur-kee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective, quirk·i·er, quirk·i·est.
having or full of quirks.
[Origin: 1800–10; quirk + -y1]

—Related forms
quirk·i·ly, adverb
quirk·i·ness, noun


quirk (kwûrk) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy: "Every man had his own quirks and twists" (Harriet Beecher Stowe).
2. An unpredictable or unaccountable act or event; a vagary: a quirk of fate.
3. A sudden sharp turn or twist.
4. An equivocation; a quibble.
5. Architecture A lengthwise groove on a molding between the convex upper part and the soffit.

Quirky = not normal

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[FungiUg]

My number one, huge, ginormous, really-good-way-to-cause-serious-emotional-damage-and-risk-me-walking-away-forever limit, is silence/ignoring me.

Agreed with others. Not quirky, that's a real serious honest-to-god hard limit.

I hate hate HATE people touching my back. It creeps me out.

Yeah, that one's quirky. Of course, now I will have to break up with you CM, because I love touching (and seeing) backs. One of the under-appreciated parts of the female body, I think.

What? What do you mean we were never together? Hrumph!

 

[Homburg]

I wanna be THAT definition.

(Which probably makes no sense to anyone else... I'm playing with words in my head.)

I sat there thinking that it would be #4 that caught your eye, if anything did...