Quick Question
- Thread starter Dar~
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elsol
I'm still sleeepy!
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Dar~ said:
First person...
I walked into the diner.
Second person...
You walked into the diner.
Third Person
He/she/Robert walked into the diner.
---In narrative, it's more focussed on who the narrator 'is'.
Passive voice.
I was walking around the park last night.
Active Voice
I walked around the park last night.
Sincerely,
ElSol
TheEarl
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Oh, and passive voice:
Active voice is where the subject of a sentence performs the action. In this case, the subject is I.
I fucked Katie.
The hammer hit the nail
Passive voice is where the subject of a sentence has the action performed to it:
I was fucked by Katie
The nail was hit by the hammer
It's indirect and it reads in a convoluted fashion. Best to avoid if you can or unless you have a good reason; it can read like word salad.
The Earl
Active voice is where the subject of a sentence performs the action. In this case, the subject is I.
I fucked Katie.
The hammer hit the nail
Passive voice is where the subject of a sentence has the action performed to it:
I was fucked by Katie
The nail was hit by the hammer
It's indirect and it reads in a convoluted fashion. Best to avoid if you can or unless you have a good reason; it can read like word salad.
The Earl
TheEarl
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Easily confused ElSol. It took me a second to find what the actual passive was and had to change the sentence slightly. I think closer might have been I was walked around the park
I think I've found a rule: was then past tense is passive.
The Earl
I think I've found a rule: was then past tense is passive.
The Earl
TheEarl
Occasional visitor
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Dar~ said:Looks like they freed willy only to allow him to be captured by elsol's dog, Earl. Thank you so much. I am prparing towrite my next story and didn't wan tto mes it up.
To my mind, it's not a hard and fast rule. You don't have to never use passive. Rules are there to be broken, like the fact I just used a double negative to make a point. Just keeping it to a minimum is of the good.
The Earl
carsonshepherd
comeback kid
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TheEarl said:
Passive voice distances the reader from the action. This has its place... but in an erotic story, the closer the reader is to the action, the better
The action should be fast paced and direct, wouldn't you say? So passive voice is best left alone in this case. Feel free to PM me with specific passages if you want examples, Dar. Sorry I don't have time to offer an edit... but once you see it pointed out, you should be on your way.
dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
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Passive voice often contains the word "by". Normal sentences are "Subject verbed the Object". Passive voice is "The object was verbed by the subject".
"Joe and Al carried the body into the basement" is active voice.
"The body was carried into the basement by Joe and Al." is passive voice.
"I screwed the goose" (sorry, Min) is active.
"The goose was screwed by me." is passive.
"Fergus committed the murder." is active
"The murder was committed by Fergus." is passive
This last example of passive shows how it can be used for dramatic emphasis, but, as others have said, too much passive makes the story seem distant and stuffy.
"Joe and Al carried the body into the basement" is active voice.
"The body was carried into the basement by Joe and Al." is passive voice.
"I screwed the goose" (sorry, Min) is active.
"The goose was screwed by me." is passive.
"Fergus committed the murder." is active
"The murder was committed by Fergus." is passive
This last example of passive shows how it can be used for dramatic emphasis, but, as others have said, too much passive makes the story seem distant and stuffy.
