Questions need some advice

[Kinkybytch]

Okay heres the thing I have always been a very dominant bitch in bed open for almost anything and everything since i been with my husband however i made him become the dominant one there is something within me that loves to be controlled and over powered sometimes he is however not as aggressive as i would like him to be example we got involved in breath play and he had a real hard time wrapping his hands around my neck because he said he didnt want to put his hands on me in that manner but i eventually convinced him otherwise by manipulation...lol.
Lately for the past few months since i gave birth i have wanted him to become even more so aggresive pushing things to the limit he obviously was not going to take part in any S&M type play while I was pregnant which I just wanted to be reassured that it was safe to take part in alot of acts while pregnant.
See I will give a scenario sometimes i like to start a arguement for no apparent reason to make him pull me by my hair throw me against the wall pin my hands down and rip my clothes off and literally fuck me as hard as he can.
I also like to bite and be bitten to the point blood is drawn.....so i already asked first question is all this safe during pregnancy for future referance and second what other ideas can you give me that we can try in the future to spice it up?????

 

[unregistered]

Ummm....

 

[CutieMouse]

Search is being a **** tonight, but I knew there had been threads on the subject in the past... most are linked within the postings of this thread.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Homburg]

I'm not going to get to deeply into this. Breathplay has a whole slew of BAD associated with it, for VERY good reasons. It is, simply put, impossible to fully mitigate the danger of something bad happening. We do a lot of frikken dangerous stuff, but it works because we accept the possible consequences, know how to avoid them (within reason), and practice the skills needed to control the risks.

You can't do that with hands-around-the-throat breathplay. Period.

Blood vessel damage - If you aren't already clear on how many blood vessels run through the neck, and how important they are to your continued existence, you are not fit to put your hands on anyone else's throat, or have one put on yours. It is VERY easy to damage those blood vessels, and while it may not cause catastrophic failure now, it can cause microtears. Microtears can form scabs. Scabs can break off. What happens when scabs, aka blood clots, get loose in the throat and make their way to the brain? Strokes. That's some sexy fun.

Nerve damage - the throat has a shitload of VERY important nerves running through it, and some are close enough to the surface to be harmed.

Brain damage - If you play to the point of passing out, you can and will cause brain damage. there is exactly zero way of predicting or preventing when a loss of conwsciousness will result in a simple blackout, or when it will become brain damage. No way to know. And that point can change for no reason. What might cause a blackout fifty-five times may cause brain damage on the fifty-sixth.

Suppression of cardiac function - breath play depresses cardiac function and rate. Yes, it fucks with the heart, both through natural arrythmia due to blackout and to compression of various nerves. If you fuck with the vagus nerve, you can serious mangle the person's heart rate for a time. For some people, this is BAD.

Breath Control is mildly more safe, and involves hoods, bags, hands over the MOUTH AND NOSE, all with an eye towards restricting the avilability of oxygen. None of these cause neck trauma, and, assuming the top is smart enough, they can be released long before consciousness is lost, thus generally preventing brain damage.

I would link to Jay Wiseman's excellent "Medical Realities of Breath Play" column, but the site I used to link to has been shut down. No, strike that, I found another source. Here, read this. It is useful.

And for fuck's sake read Industrial Bondage's comments regarding consent and pregnancy. While spanking, fucking, nipple play, etc won't affect your fetus all that much, Erotic Asphyxiation is a *systemic* effect, and can affect the fetus as it hampers the supply of oxygen in your bloodstream.

 

[marieR19]

Completely agree with JtohisPB here. If the guy isn't a dom, that's it. Really, all you are doing in manipulating him and trying to force what you want, is possibly driving a very big wedge in your relationship... and is it really submission at all, if you are manipulating him and he doesn't really want to? No, it isn't.

Leave it alone. Believe me, I *know*, trying to make someone be a dom when they aren't? NOT a good idea.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Completely agree with JtohisPB here. If the guy isn't a dom, that's it. Really, all you are doing in manipulating him and trying to force what you want, is possibly driving a very big wedge in your relationship... and is it really submission at all, if you are manipulating him and he doesn't really want to? No, it isn't.

Leave it alone. Believe me, I *know*, trying to make someone be a dom when they aren't? NOT a good idea.

Quoted for truth.

When you have successfully coerced him into really hurting you, he will never forgive you for it.

What makes you think that coercing him into sexual play he doesn't want is somehow less wrong and abusive because he's a guy?