Question

[BellaDonna1]

I am new to this site and I have a few questions.

How do you know that someone from here is telling you their right age? Do you just take their word for it?

What is a doormat?

If you get involved with a married Dom/Master is that just asking for trouble?

 

[CutieMouse]

I am new to this site and I have a few questions.

How do you know that someone from here is telling you their right age? Do you just take their word for it?

What is a doormat?

If you get involved with a married Dom/Master is that just asking for trouble?

Famous quote from a New Yorker cartoon:

"On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

There is no way to know someone online is telling the truth about anything- age or otherwise.

A "doormat" in BDSM slang, is a submissive with no backbone, who just bows down and lets people walk all over her.

I'm not even touching the marriage question- not enough caffeine, yet.

 

[bashfull]

BellaDonna,

You don't know if anyone is telling the truth. It helps, though, if you get to know the person more. Search their posts, see how they interact. This is true not just about age, but in most facets. While a person can be "fronting", hopefull some glimmer of their real personality shows in the consistancy of their posting.

As for the doormat...well, that's a decision for you to make. Personally, I prefer backbone. I have to respect someone.

The marriage question...Hmmm....Hey Cutie...got any coffee?

 

[bronntanas]

If you get involved with a married Dom/Master is that just asking for trouble?

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: depends.

If their spouse is aware of and okay with him going outside the marriage to meet his needs, then it's fine, as long as you don't expect him to put you in front of his marriage. The spouse comes first in this case, because she predates you in the relationship. If they have kids, you're even lower on the totem pole. If you have designs on breaking them up and keeping him for yourself, don't even go there. First off, it probably won't work. I'm in a poly relationship, and if either one of the subs gets possessive and tries to squeeze the other one out in any way, they get dumped. Second, if he does leaver her for you, he'll probably demand the right to poly relationships with you. What's to stop the next possessive sub from deposing you? He's already demonstrated (with you) that he's susceptible to that sort of thing.

If their spouse is unaware of the kink, or unaware that he's interested in seeing other people, don't go there. Cheating isn't right, and you'll be just as guilty as he is.

The problem with the second scenario is that a lot of less honest Dom/mes will lie to you about this. They'll say the spouse knows, but they'll still act as if you're a big huge secret. If he says "My wife and I have an agreement to keep our outside interests separate, but here's my phone number in case of an emergency.", you're probably okay. If he says "Oh sure my wife knows, but never ever call my job and never call my house, always use my cell phone." then he's probably not being honest with you. There's no full proof way to tell if he's being honest with you and his wife, so you have to ask questions, and think with your head, not your body. If he says one thing (my wife knows) and acts different (like your relationship is the biggest secret since Watergate) that would be a red flag to me.

 

[Kajira Callista]

90% of the men you meet online are married and using you instead of their spouse to get off.

The other 10%? Well they post on the bdsm forums of course.
*bats lashes innocently*

 

[bashfull]

90% of the men you meet online are married and using you instead of their spouse to get off.

The other 10%? Well they post on the bdsm forums of course.
*bats lashes innocently*

**not falling for the innocent batting of lashes**

 

[Kajira Callista]

**not falling for the innocent batting of lashes**

thats impossible....everyone falls for it. *bites lip and looks up at you*

 

[bashfull]

thats impossible....everyone falls for it. *bites lip and looks up at you*

Only when accompanied by breathless want, busom rising and falling, heart pulsing with desire, lips parted with wanton pleading...

 

[Kajira Callista]

Only when accompanied by breathless want, busom rising and falling, heart pulsing with desire, lips parted with wanton pleading...

lol those are all part of how KC acts all the time. Since you are new here i will forgive you for not knowing that. *smiles sweetly*

 

[bashfull]

lol those are all part of how KC acts all the time. Since you are new here i will forgive you for not knowing that. *smiles sweetly*

Hmmm...actions, darlin', speak volumnes. And I believe that is a wicked, not sweet, smile. Though those lips certainly look succulent.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Hmmm...actions, darlin', speak volumnes. And I believe that is a wicked, not sweet, smile. Though those lips certainly look succulent.

 

[bashfull]

Ahhh...speechless, are we, darlin'?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Ahhh...speechless, are we, darlin'?

lol usually. im kinda quiet a lot

 

[bashfull]

lol usually. im kinda quiet a lot

but are you noisy when appropriate?

 

[Kajira Callista]

but are you noisy when appropriate?

is it ever appropriate to be noisy?

 

[bashfull]

is it ever appropriate to be noisy?

yes...when enraptured, back arching, biting lips, toes curling, chest heaving, thighs quivering, eyes rolling, and you are pleading with me for release...

 

[Kajira Callista]

yes...when enraptured, back arching, biting lips, toes curling, chest heaving, thighs quivering, eyes rolling, and you are pleading with me for release...

i do that quietly also. sorry.

 

[bashfull]

i do that quietly also. sorry.

that's a shame.

 

[Kajira Callista]

that's a shame.

it is only a shame if you are wanting noise.

 

[bashfull]

it is only a shame if you are wanting noise.

I want pleasure. Noise is merely an indication of pleasure. Do you have other indications? <weg>

 

[Kajira Callista]

I want pleasure. Noise is merely an indication of pleasure. Do you have other indications? <weg>

maybe.

 

[bashfull]

maybe.

Hmmm...care to share?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Hmmm...care to share?

lol nope.

 

[bashfull]

lol nope.

Very well, darlin'.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Very well, darlin'.