Question from a bi guy

[ak2002usa]

There was a recent thread about liking the cock but not necessairly the man. That's me. I'm married. I'm not attracted to men, I just like what they can do with their mouths and cocks. I don't care much for giving head though I will if for no other reason than to satisfy my own sense of fairness. What I like are long slow blow jobs with lots of ball and rim attention. Also, I'm not into fucking some guys ass but I do like to get fucked. Call it passive if you like. Are there others out there like me? What do the gay guys think of us?

 

[Reshbod]

Originally that was me, though I consider myself somewhat bi curious rather than bi. I wanted to know what it was like to suck off another guy. I did not want anything else like touching, kissing etc. When I got into that mood, I would occasionally look at gay porn, mostly of men posing and in their underwear. The more I looked I began to consider doing other things like those mentioned above. Not sure I will ever actually go through with it, but it is fun to fantasize about.

 

[sseg]

yick...

Originally that was me, though I consider myself somewhat bi curious rather than bi. I wanted to know what it was like to suck off another guy. I did not want anything else like touching, kissing etc. When I got into that mood, I would occasionally look at gay porn, mostly of men posing and in their underwear. The more I looked I began to consider doing other things like those mentioned above. Not sure I will ever actually go through with it, but it is fun to fantasize about.

What I, as a fully acknowledged bisexual with both sexual and emotional attractions to men, women, and all variations in between, shudder at are the ads from otherwise straight people wanting to "explore their bi side." It tends to turn me off. Just say it, "I want to explore sex with a MOTSS (member of the same sex)!" It's easy. There's nothing wrong with wanting to experiment sexually, it's part of being human. Heck, I'm perfectly happy to help someone explore their sexuality if I find them attractive. What I don't want is it cloaked in code words which really mean "I want to cheat on my spouse and feel better about doing it with another MOTSS rather than a MOTOS." I'm not sure what it is about those specific words ""explore my bi side" that sets my teeth on edge. It sounds so... so proletarian.

There's nothing wrong with fun, sweaty sex with no emotional attachment, as long as both (or more!) parties know that's all that is expected

This rant brought to you by sponsorship from the Toast Marketing Board. Remember to eat more toast!

 

[PredatorSmile]

I think you're a bi-curious man with bottom-tendencies ?

 

[neonflux]

From a truly bi girl

...who loves bi men, I would suggest that your sexual identity is yours to define. Of course, can't respond to your question about how gay men might perceive you

 

[LoboBoy]

Here’s something to confuse you even more:

My guy and I are both (obviously) gay.
We can look at guys together and he can (hypothetically) suggest someone who makes me cringe.

The difference: he can separate the cock from the man and make it all about sex or his oral fetish.

I cannot. I see the whole guy and the whole package has to do it for me or I don’t even get aroused.

 

[ak2002usa]

I am attracted to TS girls, she males, chicks with dicks, whatever. I know they are men with female features but I want to kiss, hug and suck tits and be physical beyond just the cock. I have such no such interest with regular men; I' just in it for the cock.

 

[tenor1]

sounds familiar

hey, i'm a new guy here.......i understand how you feel......i've been virtually the same for a while....not into guys...don't see a man and think how hot he is and all that....BUT i do love a nice hard cock from time to time......i love to play with shemales/transexuals, whatever you want to call them.....a beautiful woman with a nice, hard cock is heaven......delicious breasts (large or small!) and sweet ass to play with, and a firm cock in my mouth....i haven't played with many men, mostly with a couple where she love to see him with a guy, usually for the first time.....we suck each other....then take turns with her.....

 

[neonflux]

Term she-male...

Just an educational note in consideration of my trans sisters, not a criticism -

Every trans person that I know dislikes terms like she-male and "chicks with dick," considering same degrading... If you don't want to use something as clinical as transsexual, how about trans woman or something along that vein?

 

[none2_none2]

There was a recent thread about liking the cock but not necessairly the man. That's me. I'm married. I'm not attracted to men, I just like what they can do with their mouths and cocks. I don't care much for giving head though I will if for no other reason than to satisfy my own sense of fairness. What I like are long slow blow jobs with lots of ball and rim attention. Also, I'm not into fucking some guys ass but I do like to get fucked. Call it passive if you like. Are there others out there like me? What do the gay guys think of us?

I think sexual desire varies like one's finger prints. I crave fucking masculine, muscular, hairy men. I don't care for penises; I don't ignore them, it's just that they don't do anything for me. I'm happily in a monogamous relationship, and I am very happy that he loves being a bottom. i wouldn't change him because I love him as he is.

That being said.. If I had been the creator, my perfect creation would have been a creature that was a man in every way -- except one. He would have a vagina and a womb instead of a penis. The opposite of a chick-with-dick, a stud-with-honeypot. It would be one more way to be inside a guy, and personally my only regret about homosexulality is the impossibility of reproduction with the person that you love.

As to what you describe, I have been with guys like you when I was younger, single, and very horny. I normally wouldn't have turned down a guy who let me fuck him. However, if the guy had absolutely no level of emotional attachment to guys, it would most likely be a one time thing. (I don't mean a weding ring, but if the guy treats you like a dildo or a mouth after the umpteenth encounter, it gets pretty boreing.)

I would add that several that fit your description normally change as they get older. i've known some guys who were of that "love-dick-dislike-men" mentality. Eventually, they too needed to integrate what they love physically with what they love emotionally. Some of them gave up cock. On the other hand, several of them would find a guy (usually a lot younger) and all of a sudden they felt an emotional longing. My only guess to this change of behavior was that because the younger man wasn't from their generation where we nomrally think of man/man relationships of any type as being competitive, they felt no threat to however they defined their sexuality. They also felt a longing for their own lost youth, and felt so alive through the eyes of the younger guy.

My partner is only 5 months older than me, so our relationship isn't that way. He typically was with younger guys, and I was typically with older guys. I think the nicest thing is that we are on a journey in life together. We are at the same point in that journey. It is different being loved for who I am, and not because of some youthful, attractiveness that can be fleeting. (Note; I don't mean to imply that I was ever a GQ model.)

Anyway, your sexuality is yours to define however you want. Just be aware that for some it is more fluid over time than you might think.

 

[sardonic]

Very interesting thread. I have several friends who are in transgender relationships. One is a guy who is attracted to male to female transsexuals, either pre or post-op. When I asked him what he really finds attrative about transsexuals, he said it was their ultra-femininity. I then asked him who he'd have sex with if he was in a situation where there were no transsexuals around, and he says he sleeps with women in that case. He also stated that he feels no attraction to men. He is a very handsome, muscular working-class guy who has gay men throwing themselves at him all the time, but it just doesn't do it for him. He's not straight, but he's certainly not gay either. If there's gender-fuck, then there's sexuality-fuck too.

Another friend is a woman who was married, but separated a couple of years ago. Following the end of her relationship, she started looking at women and is now in a relationship with a male to female transgender person. Again, completely screws the straight/lesbian dynamis. It's great.

 

[LoboBoy]

They also felt a longing for their own lost youth, and felt so alive through the eyes of the younger guy.

Yeah...I understand that. My guy is 12years younger than me...I'm not sure that I see things through his eyes...but he is 22 and I do get to do things with him that I wished I had done at 22...had I not been in a hetro marriage. I don't regret the marriage, but there is an element of catching up that I feel i do from time to time. He's incredibly intelligent and articulate and MOST of the time I forget the age difference. Luckily he's always been into older guys. *whew*

I still...even when fantasising, find it impossible to make it all about the cock. I can't look at porn fr example and get off if the guys do nothing for me...even if it's a swollen, sexy 10" cock...if the guy turns me off...the cock won't save him.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Very interesting thread. I have several friends who are in transgender relationships. One is a guy who is attracted to male to female transsexuals, either pre or post-op. When I asked him what he really finds attrative about transsexuals, he said it was their ultra-femininity. I then asked him who he'd have sex with if he was in a situation where there were no transsexuals around, and he says he sleeps with women in that case. He also stated that he feels no attraction to men. He is a very handsome, muscular working-class guy who has gay men throwing themselves at him all the time, but it just doesn't do it for him. He's not straight, but he's certainly not gay either. If there's gender-fuck, then there's sexuality-fuck too.

Another friend is a woman who was married, but separated a couple of years ago. Following the end of her relationship, she started looking at women and is now in a relationship with a male to female transgender person. Again, completely screws the straight/lesbian dynamis. It's great.

Hmmm your friend would be called in my mind for a "strange straight" man . untill recently I saw myself as that.
But now I just call myself bi, of some sort.

 

[conntom2002]

im all about the dick


the biggest problem with dick - its attached to a man.

most men are jerks

 

[PredatorSmile]

im all about the dick


the biggest problem with dick - its attached to a man.

most men are jerks

That's just about the only problem I have with bisexual guys. They like dick, but don't like the man. They never get emotionally involved. I find that...unsettling. My guy is bi and had a long, and true, relationship with a guy before he met me. They were in a relation together, not just fuck buddies. To me, that makes him seem all the more human and trustworthy in my eyes. If he can have a casual thing with a guy and just fuck him, that would make him seem like a sleazy, sex-hungry maniac to me. But if he can care about someone and love anyone regardless of gender, then I consider myself fortunate to be with such a man. Because if a guy can be just a fuck to him, then I ( his girl) can someday become just a fuck to him too and that doesn't appeal to me at all.

 

[sseg]

That's just about the only problem I have with bisexual guys. They like dick, but don't like the man. They never get emotionally involved. I find that...unsettling. My guy is bi and had a long, and true, relationship with a guy before he met me. They were in a relation together, not just fuck buddies. To me, that makes him seem all the more human and trustworthy in my eyes. If he can have a casual thing with a guy and just fuck him, that would make him seem like a sleazy, sex-hungry maniac to me. But if he can care about someone and love anyone regardless of gender, then I consider myself fortunate to be with such a man. Because if a guy can be just a fuck to him, then I ( his girl) can someday become just a fuck to him too and that doesn't appeal to me at all.

Careful there, quite a lot of us bisexual men are bisexual not only because we like playing with cock as well as pussy, but because we fall in love with a person, not with their plumbing. You get a skewed view of these sorts of things because the most obvious ones are the horndogs who are only looking for sex, they have to advertise loudly in order to be able to hook up.

Personally, I see men, women, and all those identified as other, as being a whole hell of a lot more alike than they are different. I see far more variation in individuals than I do between genders.

 

[PredatorSmile]

Careful there, quite a lot of us bisexual men are bisexual not only because we like playing with cock as well as pussy, but because we fall in love with a person, not with their plumbing. You get a skewed view of these sorts of things because the most obvious ones are the horndogs who are only looking for sex, they have to advertise loudly in order to be able to hook up.

Personally, I see men, women, and all those identified as other, as being a whole hell of a lot more alike than they are different. I see far more variation in individuals than I do between genders.

Sorry about that. I didn't mean to generalize. It's just that I have loved people of both sexes and I fell for them, not their genitals. Personality, smile, hobbies, loyalty, those are the things that attracted me to my current boyfriend and my last girlfriend. I shake my head when I read so many bisexual guys on Literotica saying that all they want from a man is the dick and not the person. If that's what they do, i think they're missing out.

 

[sseg]

Sorry about that. I didn't mean to generalize. It's just that I have loved people of both sexes and I fell for them, not their genitals. Personality, smile, hobbies, loyalty, those are the things that attracted me to my current boyfriend and my last girlfriend. I shake my head when I read so many bisexual guys on Literotica saying that all they want from a man is the dick and not the person. If that's what they do, i think they're missing out.

Well, that's literotica too, this is an environment where sex and sexuality is more emphasized, so I think it's natural we'll see a lot more of that kind of people.

I tend to think there's a difference between someone looking for sex and someone who identifies as bisexual. Unfortunately we don't have a word to distinguish someone who is bi-romantic and someone who is bi-sexual.

I ran a campus bisexual support group for a while when I was in school and I found plenty of men who were not interested at all in casual sex but in a relationship. Not that I think there's anything wrong with casual sex, mind you.

 

[MatthewMarcus2099]

Good to know that ! I'm bi and I've had relationships with both women and men. It's never just about sex with me.

 

[CJontherocks]

Sorry about that. I didn't mean to generalize. It's just that I have loved people of both sexes and I fell for them, not their genitals. Personality, smile, hobbies, loyalty, those are the things that attracted me to my current boyfriend and my last girlfriend. I shake my head when I read so many bisexual guys on Literotica saying that all they want from a man is the dick and not the person. If that's what they do, i think they're missing out.

I think you're absolutely right. People... men and women... have so much more to offer than sex.

And I used to be one of those guys.

(Edited to add: ... but don't get me wrong. We do love the sex.)

 

[human_male]

There always seems to be a thread like this so don't worry, you're not alone. With me, in fantasy anyway, it's sucking and getting fucked but like you I'm not attracted to guys. A big fantasy is glory holes, because you're dealing with just this disembodied dick. It's just a fantasy thing I think. Even if I had the opportunity I doubt I'd do anything. But if I did I'd rather have a freind, a fuck buddy I suppose, but a good friend I could trust and care about, not just some strange guy. With women it's totally different. I crave intimacy and a relationship, sex comes second.

I think most gay guys wouldn't have a problem with guys like us, but I doubt many of them would bother with us either.

Just as a side note, I may have had an opportunity recently. I was at my barber waiting my turn and a young guy came in and sat down next to me. He was kinda chatty so if I'd have made an effort we might have hit it off. I don't know if he was gay though. But the odd thing is I wasn't even tempted. I'm not a overly freindly, chatty person by nature so that may have been it, but at the time I wouldn't have responded even if he had initiated. But now, when I'm horny I wish he was right here. Maybe I have issues, who knows. Or maybe it just is what it is... a fantasy thing, and I should just leave it at that.