Question for subs/slaves: What makes a good Dom(me)/Master/Mistress ?

[SilkVelvet]

As a newbie, I need the best possible advice to help me in my journey to find the right One to submit to IRL.

So subs and slaves, what makes a GOOD Dom(me), Master or Mistress ?

When you talk with or meet someone are there warning signs that make you think uh-oh ?

Have you learned lessons from previous experiences ?

If your Dom(me)/Master/Mistress is in your view exceptional, what makes him/her so ?

Thanking you in advance
Velvet xx

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

For me I would say just take a great deal of care never meet in a secluded place before you think you know them,always let someone know where you will be.It may not be exactly what you are asking for but that must be the highest priority first.

I wish you luck my lady

 

[catalina_francisco]

On our way out so will likely review my answer later but here goes. I think one of the most important aspects is you share the same or similar views on what a D/s relationship is, and means. Also a good D will IMO be understanding, patient, nurturing, honest, and strong enough to push your limits, but know how far that pushing can go before becoming unsafe. He should be concerned about your emotional, mental, physical,and spiritual well being as you are to be his property, and as such, one would hope that would mean he wanted to care for you.

On communication with a prospective D, I think caution is required if they start to push to meet immediately, especially if they deliver their demands in an ultimatum type of response. Caution if they tell you they will decide always what is right for you even before meeting and getting to know you and irrespective of your wellbeing; demand you give up friends and family to prove loyalty; give a miss if they try and patronise and make you feel childish or inadequate; demand sex before anything; and appear to want to remodel you into a totally different person to who you are.

Also not a good sign if they only want to talk about them and are not overly interested in you; if they tell you everything you own will be theirs even if it doesn't work out; big sign to give a miss is if in communicating you begin to catch them out on lies. So as this is quick I will see what I think when I get home.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Mmmm..so what makes Master exceptional.....here's some of it:

* his love for me which is like no other and is the first time
I have never felt insecure about another's professed
love...as my love is for him also

* his incredible ability to be there when I need him most

* his endless patience

* his deep understanding

* his strength

* his own security in who he is which allows him to admit
when he is wrong

* his self control

* his incredible insight into emotions

* his compassion and empathy for others, and his way of
giving himself unconditionally to his friends and family

* his sense of humour

* his honesty

* his loyalty

* his incredible mind which never bores me, his intellect always
keeping me on my toes

* his ability to tease me just enough

* his respect for me

* his trust in me

* his ability to make me feel special even when at my worst

* his desire to encourage me to remain essentially me

* his pride in owning me, and appreciation of my abilities

* his joy in nurturing and protecting me

* his nature which compliments mine almost perfectly

* his interest in knowing my thoughts, my pain, my fears

* his generosity

* the way he values my opinion and does not feel threatened
by my mind, nor does he feel slighted when we differ

* his politics....the fact he feels strongly about political
issues is so welcome!!

* his incredible cooking skills which is another thing we like to
do together often

* his beautiful smile and laughter which makes me weak at
the knees

* that look in his eyes when he looks at me

* the tender way he dries my tears

* the way the most innocent of touches with his fingertips on
bare skin or through clothing has the power to make my
body vibrate inside and out, suffused in a warm glow

* his voice which is music to my ears

* his need to give pain as much as I need to receive it

* his way of making me feel complete at last

* his insatiable sexual appetite which for the first time I have
found matches my own and has lead us to break some
records of what is humanly possible in prescribed periods
of time I think


Mmmmm...perhaps I better stop at that before I have a million subs knocking at our door...LOL

Catalina

 

[SilkVelvet]

Mmmmm...perhaps I better stop at that before I have a million subs knocking at our door...LOL

Catalina [/B]

Does Francisco have a brother ???

 

[catalina_francisco]

Does Francisco have a brother ???

A lot older in his 50ties.

Edited by Francisco.

 

[redelicious]

Good Doms are not a one size fits all, each has their own strengths and weaknesses. Your first step should be to figure out exactly what it is you are looking for and hope to gain in D/s. Once you have done that, do not settle for less.

I would phrase your questions to him in such a way that he can't read what the correct answer should be. Ask questions about what he perceives are his weaknesses and areas for improvement.

Make sure you know what your rights are in the event of disagreements and differences in opinion and that you can live with it.

Don't let anyone rush you before you are ready. You are worth waiting for.

Good luck to you!