Question for (male?) submissives

[onyxfader]

I’m working on a series of stories involving a loving female-led, straight couple and BDSM. I’m curious to learn from submissives (males in particular, but if you otherwise identify and have something to contribute feel free) as to what kinds of activities were limits when you first started but that you eventually came to enjoy. Basically, I’m looking for ways in which my submissive male character can grow.

Thanks in advance for anything you’re willing to share.

 

[gaius7]

I started out very very concerned about my privacy but over time we found other people who we could be open with, play in front of and finally play with.

 

[SissySalina]

I’m working on a series of stories involving a loving female-led, straight couple and BDSM. I’m curious to learn from submissives (males in particular, but if you otherwise identify and have something to contribute feel free) as to what kinds of activities were limits when you first started but that you eventually came to enjoy. Basically, I’m looking for ways in which my submissive male character can grow.

Thanks in advance for anything you’re willing to share.

Taking the BDSM from the privacy of the home into the public. Shopping with various BDSM items on, collars, wrist restraints, hoods, etc. Having others control actives while She watches.

 

[cubbyfire04]

Early on, I found the hardest part in my first FLR (now ex-wife for unrelated issues) to be being honest about what I WAS willing to do out of shame or embarrassment. I would place limits on things like chastity, denial, and light/moderate humiliation because I was unable to let go of my ego. Once I eased into those things, I found my true limits. After my divorce, I've found myself in a FLR with my fiance. I was open and honest from the start with my limits (cannot recommend enough). My hard limits are now CBT, sounding, heavy pain, extreme restraint, and humiliation if it implies disrespect. Often times we must pause and discuss that line if it is crossed because even for me it can be vague. Although harder to define, I've found mental/emotional limits to be more of a priority than anything.

 

[onyxfader]

Really helpful so far - thank you all. Looking forward to hearing more.

 

[Wonderer67]

As for me, it was a mix of psychological and physical. Pretty much everything we engage in, I would have thought of as bad, weird or at the least “not for me.”

If you asked me 20 yo about chastity devices, I would have been immediately turned off. “Why? I see no reason for that?” Since then we’ve been in long term periods of chastity. And orgasm control. “Why would I allow myself not to cum?” Now, I love having my orgasm controlled (or mostly denied) by Miss Conduct. I’ve learned that it’s about her pleasure, not mine.

One that comes to mind as a hard limit was piss play and water sports. Not in a million years would I have thought of that as desirable, but now I love catching Miss Conducts pee in my face, or having her pee all over my body. It turns me on immensely.

I could go on and on. It’s been a real sexual transition for me in many respects over the last 10-15 years.

 

[Wonderer67]

Hit a hard limit this morning.

Miss Conduct wanted me to fill the two bird feeders naked on Monday morning before work. It was 21° (f) out.

Plus my neighbors were all going to work.

We negotiated and I did it at Monday night under the cover of darkness. It was not any warmer tho!!!

 

[Curiousphoenix]

At first (and in order), I was not into kissing after a blowjob, enemas, anal, creampies, shaving chest, cum eating, mfm play, ff play, her working at strip club, being dressed in stockings, being taken outside wearing said stockings, then adding a skirt, shaving legs, cuckold, the snowballing her with his cum, then collars and leashes and crop and her in domme attire, then adding dresses and heels, then going outside dressed to get mail.

 

[onyxfader]

It was not any warmer tho!!!

Lol.

 

[MotherloverSon]

I’m working on a series of stories involving a loving female-led, straight couple and BDSM. I’m curious to learn from submissives (males in particular, but if you otherwise identify and have something to contribute feel free) as to what kinds of activities were limits when you first started but that you eventually came to enjoy. Basically, I’m looking for ways in which my submissive male character can grow.

Thanks in advance for anything you’re willing to share.

That sounds like a great series. Have you found any good stories featuring a male submissive?

 

[onyxfader]

Honestly, not many.

 

[surferjake]

I’m working on a series of stories involving a loving female-led, straight couple and BDSM. I’m curious to learn from submissives (males in particular, but if you otherwise identify and have something to contribute feel free) as to what kinds of activities were limits when you first started but that you eventually came to enjoy. Basically, I’m looking for ways in which my submissive male character can grow.

Thanks in advance for anything you’re willing to share.

I think there is always an element of the male having to learn to not top from the bottom.

 

[Lvncreampies]

I don't know if you call this limits but we are just interested in her doing CBT , telling me to lick her pussy and tits clean of my cum and her making me cum on my own face and in my own mouth. Nothing else

 

[onyxfader]

All: this has been very helpful, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for sharing. Be well.

 

[Subsy]

I only partially identified as male……80 or more percent fem. So humiliation is alien to my thinking…..hrt breasts,revealing thin top with nipples detectable and wearing short shorts? That was bait….made me happy to flirt while seemingly unaware…more interested in reading a book it would seem.
Cross dressing for me in men’s clothes would not embarrass……I would be more dizzily disoriented than humiliated. Bitch, girl, cunt, slut, slave….all names I love to hear so I never feel humiliated.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Ooo, nice thread!

 

[Goldenfinger]

My relationship with my wife was pretty much a flr from the get go. The kinky stuff came later. I wanted a strong s/o because I was in the military and I wanted someone who was confident in her abilities to get things done so it would not pile up for me when I got home. I had see many a relationship not work out. So I tried hard for that not to happen to us. So when I got home I didn’t change all the things she had done. It was her command, and thats how it was. Then after I retired I was more than happy to be her submissive and she was happy as the dominant.

 

[Gln1517]

Anal was a hard limit but I came to like it.

 

[Erosfan]

Public activity is something that brings my fiancé great shame. In sub mode or otherwise, he couldn't perform, not even in a club/ dungeon setting. he has fantasies about it in general, but the idea of actually doing it just embarrasses him and doesn't make him feel sexy or subby or anything like that. Just bad. I think it is less to do with identifying as a guy and more to do with his upbringing. He no longer believes it, but I think that still lives with him-- the idea that sex and masturbation is shameful. So, he can't share it in more 'public' spaces like an enclosed, private dungeon event. Too many eyes.

I have been interested in CFNM for most of my adult life. Add some public activity, discretely, and I'm all in. Ours was a very loving relationship. My wife knew my fantasies completely and did her best to make some of them come true. She made sure we (I) were seen on occasion. She was keen to the fact that she was the one the had to be cautious so we wouldn't get caught or get in trouble. She was a master at pushing my limits farther than I might have otherwise been willing to go. Again, she was good at keeping us out of trouble. There were a couple of times that I was so wound up that I wanted to get really crazy, such as go walking, naked, in our neighborhood at night. She would reel me back in so we (I) didn't offend our neighbors. When I am sexually charged, I tend to lose a lot of my self control.
Early in our relationship, I told her I would do anything she wanted, any time, anywhere. I was hers and she knew it.

 

[CWinKtown]

I guess the mark of a true submissive is allowing ourselves to be humiliated or used for the soul pleasure of serving. I have served and been of service to a few dominant women and I will admit I've done things I ordinarily wouldn't allow myself to admit to.
I suppose when you admit to dislikes you have. You're sub consiously hoping for them to happen. This way you had no choice in the matter.
One woman I admitted to that my biggest fears was always getting bad haircuts. A few days later, she sat me down and shaved my head, not just a buzz, but lathered it up and shaved me with a razor.
I was not tied down. I could have easily stood up and walked or should I say "ran away" Yet I let her do it.

 

[Will527]

There always fears some has when they submit control to someone else, volunteering or otherwise. The real excitement comes when the sub is made to do things that are beyond the established parameters. Surprise without too much humiliation or degradation, is uplifting.

 

[Dearelliot]

I'm a male sub and have been for many years, probably, 50 years. I believe, A good dominatrix can stretch a subs envelope.
My first pro mistress was one of the best! I recall her saying, "I Can do anything I want with you, I could have you eating dog poop If I wanted." That was around 1970 I don't know if what she said was true because NO she didn't make me.

 

[Dearelliot]

This reminds me of one of my wife’s friends. Would be slaves would approach her, declaring they had no limits. She liked to reply, “So… I can kill you?”

Maybe not as extreme but even she knew, no limits didn't mean, "Like mow my lawn rake the leaves, paint the house, then go home and jerk off."

 

[lowcollar]

In the early going in a relationship, the hardest part was being trusting and vulnerable enough to say what I was into for fear of judgement. After I learned that I was a switch, but preferred being submissive, I had to reveal things to my next partner. Scary at first. Early on, the thought of fisting was out of the question. I could barely take a small dildo. Now I absolutely love it. I also thought nipples were out. Now I love my nipples being bit, the sensation goes straight to my penis.

 

[Cardinal]

I started out very very concerned about my privacy but over time we found other people who we could be open with, play in front of and finally play with.

Where and how did you meet them?