Question about setting a scene

[Oblimo]

The only real reason they're in the nightclub is to introduce the dress one of the characters is wearing. There is some intent to illustrate the different personality styles of the characters - but mostly its about the dress.

If that's the case, and you aren't feeling the vibe with the club scene and are having troubles getting them from Club A to Bedroom B, why not skip Club A? Perhaps they're about to go to Club A, and the story starts in Ms. Dress' living room, where her and her dress makes it first appearance to the waiting friends, and they wind up skipping the club.

Or somethin'.

 

[cantdog]

Put it in feedback-- but update here to say that you have, how's that?

I like yourobservation; "it was interesting to me but I cut it."

I do that a LOT. I think that even though it doesn't get used in the final cut, it's very he;pful to the writer, making the personalities and actions that much more immediate.

King refers to that action, cutting stuff you really dig but you know does nothing for the story "killing your children." (On Writing)

The phrase makes it stick in the mind, so you'll remember to do it.

Mark Twain had his fourteen rules, too. Killing your children isn't in there explicitly, but Twain is very clear about trimming the fat and writing what makes sense to be there.

 

[emap]

Oh my, I feel like such a fish out of water.

I don't cut things out of my stories, well until I send it to snoopy and he decides that should look like this or whatever. I spend alot of time working the story out in my head before I right it. Why I tend to just up and start a story instead of this other story. Like right now I am doing a horror instead of working on a sci fi. The horror finished cooking before the sci fi.

Well Ok to be honest I wasn't really thinking about it until a comment someone said and it struck a cord and bam, I got a horror in my head screaming to come out. Not exactly an experience I would recommend.

Hmmm, ya know I have no idea what this has to do with the discussion really so I shall wander off now.

 

[Bonniehart]

Here it is at last - the highly massaged and mostly cut nightclub scene. (Gad. That sounds a lot naughtier than it really is).

I had a tough time getting this one posted - spelling! Arg!

Seeing the story posted, the spelling, dropped words, and gramatical mishaps positively leap off the page at me. Why couldn't I see them before? I SWEAR they weren't there when I posted! Anyone else have that same kind of blind spot before submitting, and then find it tough to go back and read your own story because the errors are just too embarrasing? Are any readers here secretly editors in their spare time and willing to take me on?

At any rate, thanks to all who had suggestions for getting my characters out of the bar in which they were stuck.

Special thanks to Boxlicker for throwing out the "Let's leave before we get thrown out" idea; and Slyc for making me laugh so hard milk squirted out my nose.

Treasure & Jewels - Chapter 3
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=342724

 

[Weird Harold]

Seeing the story posted, the spelling, dropped words, and gramatical mishaps positively leap off the page at me. Why couldn't I see them before? I SWEAR they weren't there when I posted! Anyone else have that same kind of blind spot before submitting,

Everybody has that blind spot and it requires some effort to overcome it without a second set of eyes to spot them.

There are several tricks to make the errors stand out as if you had already posted the story, but the simplest is the same thing that makes them noticeable after posting -- make your story look different than when you originally typed it (or last edited it.)

You can change the font, font size, margins, background color, text color, or any combination therof but changing the look releases your mind from the preconception that it knows what's on the screen because it knows what it told your fingers to type.

Additonally, when you do your final proofread, start with the last paragraph and proofread each paragraph independently from back to front.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Everybody has that blind spot and it requires some effort to overcome it without a second set of eyes to spot them.

There are several tricks to make the errors stand out as if you had already posted the story, but the simplest is the same thing that makes them noticeable after posting -- make your story look different than when you originally typed it (or last edited it.)

You can change the font, font size, margins, background color, text color, or any combination therof but changing the look releases your mind from the preconception that it knows what's on the screen because it knows what it told your fingers to type.

Additonally, when you do your final proofread, start with the last paragraph and proofread each paragraph independently from back to front.

The problem I would have with that last sentence is that I edit and proofread at the same time. I wouldn't be able to edit going backward like that, and would probably get a bit disoriented.

 

[Weird Harold]

The problem I would have with that last sentence is that I edit and proofread at the same time. I wouldn't be able to edit going backward like that, and would probably get a bit disoriented.

That's really the point of going backwards -- the disorientation makes you look at what is really on the screen instead of seeing what you know is there. It is a technique that is pure proofread and intended to supress the urge to edit content.

If most people try to proof and edit at the same time they wind up doing neither very well; it takes a special kind of mind to multi-tasks those two elements without skimping one or the other.

 

[Boxlicker101]

That's really the point of going backwards -- the disorientation makes you look at what is really on the screen instead of seeing what you know is there. It is a technique that is pure proofread and intended to supress the urge to edit content.

If most people try to proof and edit at the same time they wind up doing neither very well; it takes a special kind of mind to multi-tasks those two elements without skimping one or the other.

Well, I ceertainly have a dirty enough mind.