Question about moving back and forth between man and woman's viewpoint

[LovesDancing]

The last three stories I've posted have moved back and forth between the man's viewpoint and the woman's viewpoint. That seems to be somewhat unusual, is this an effective way to tell a story of two people?

 

[SimonDoom]

It can be, but it's tricky, and if handled badly it can spoil the story. A few thoughts:

1. The paramount concern is clarity. The reader should be clear on whose point of view is being described. Confusion can spoil things for the reader.
2. The standard way to do this is to switch POV at a scene/chapter change. This is what I usually do.
3. Even so, sometimes it works to switch POV within a scene. I did this in one story in particular, and it seemed to work, because it's by far my most popular story.
4. Always think about WHY you want to switch. What story purpose does it serve? In the case of my story I wanted to show how both the man and woman were caught up in the passion of a scene. Usually, though, I prefer one POV per scene. I think it usually comes across better this way.
5. Some may disagree, but I dislike switching first person point of view from one person to another. It seems contrived to me. So if you are going to switch I recommend choosing third person POV.

 

[Voboy]

To an extent, the answer to this question is bound to be reader-specific. Which is just a way of saying you can't please everybody.

This is why I often repeat to people that the best move is to write the story you'd like to read. If you spend too much time chasing fads, or trying to parse your way through the minefield of "what people think is effective," you risk paralysis and a false pursuit of a voice that is not your own.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into your question? But those viewpoint shifts strike me, personally, as lazy storytelling. You'll read other replies here that think they're the cat's ass. So? Take your pick and write what pleases you.

 

[oncemorewithfeeling]

I've done it my story, the man as narrative prose, the woman as a diary. I used the different styles, an extra line of white and fonts (one normal, the diary in italics) to keep them apart.

 

[djrip]

I recently found myself dipping into two character's thoughts in a single 3rd person scene. After realizing what I'd done in horror, I started to wonder, might it actually be okay? Where's the line between omniscient 3rd person and close 3rd with unacceptable head hopping?

 

[LovesDancing]

Thank you for your input, it seems like since I started posting my own stories that ideas for new stories have been bombarding me. For my first story it's a role playing/blackmail theme, and I wanted to get both sides of the opposite relationship. One of my ideas for a future story will probably use your second point, that POV changes only at certain points. I'm using normal lettering and italics lettering to deliniate which is which on my first one.

 

[Djmac1031]

I did it once in the second chapter of a father / daughter incest story, so I could get both points of view.

It worked out well enough, but as others have suggested just make sure it's really clear for readers when you switch perspectives.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I do it in many stories, usually with close third person narration. The key, I think, is to stay with one pov for a good chunk of time, and very clearly identify when you change pov.

Doing it too often without good sign posting is as bad as quick head hopping, and confuses a narrative rather than strengthens it. Have a good reason to change, and have a good head to change into.

 

[KeithD]

It can be effective when sectioned off and marked in large sections. Not so effective if it switches from one line of dialogue to the next.

 

[SimonDoom]

One other suggestion: If you decide to do this, do it early in the story, to establish it in the mind of the reader. Otherwise it will be jarring and annoying.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I tried it early on, as an experiment, with the POV changing between a couple and deliberately without notice; it was all context and had to be read carefully to stay on track. It worked, sort of, but brought the expected (probably deserved) comments and I wont I will try it again.

https://literotica.com/s/house-of-feathers-ch-03-a-contest

 

[ronde]

I suppose it depends which POV with which you begin the story. If the story starts out in first person POV, it should stay with that character. That character can and does interpret what the other characters say based upon what he or she "hears", but the story should be told by that single person. In other words, the first person narrator can relate another characters spoken words, but not their thoughts because he/she can't know what those thoughts are. A first person narrator would typically say, "She said" or "What I heard was...". There is really no clean way to switch between which character is the first person narrator in a single story without breaking the continuity of the story.

In third person POV the narrator is a third party privy to the thoughts of all the characters and as such can relate their words, feelings, and thoughts as individual points of view. The operative word here is "relate". The third person narrator can not interpret a meaning to those words, feelings, and thoughts because the third person narrator is only that, a person who relates the words, thoughts, and feelings of the character to the reader. Any interpretation is left up to the reader.

 

[KeithD]

Sabb and I write here (as Shabbu) in alternating first-person POV sections. We seem to do it well enough--we won a Vantine's Day contest once doing that.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

IMO it works well in first person if you stay with one viewpoint for a good length of time (say 1000+ words), and have a clear reason to change, eg because the other person wants to relate stuff only they know and is relevant to moving the story on.

If you want both characters thoughts to be integral to the story then third person is likely easier. Some say third person feels less intimate but I don't really hold with that.

 

[yukonnights]

I know that yukonnights (link to his storylist: https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=838252&page=submissions) has been experimenting with constant head-hopping (like, changing with almost every new paragraph), especially in his later stories. It's something called Deep POV.

It... kind of works, but not all readers appreciate it. If you do it wrong, it will be very confusing. If you do it right, this style may feel natural (to some).

Thanks for the mention Ruben. FWIW, Ruben and I share in beta-reading so he's seen the style. If anyone is interested in exploring this style, have a look at some of mine. Not all are in the Close POV, so you'll have to poke around a bit. At the end of the day, I gauge the quality of my efforts by the rating it gets. I can write in any POV, but the close first with alternating point of views tends to be my favorite. It's not easy to pull off, but the effort is worth it IMO.

 

[poehasatoe]

The last three stories I've posted have moved back and forth between the man's viewpoint and the woman's viewpoint. That seems to be somewhat unusual, is this an effective way to tell a story of two people?

For Me, it works as a cuck. Anne described what she felt from the woman's standpoint and it really went very far in terms of our understanding. Okies for me, I'll check your writing out.

 

[PandemicReader8]

I have a friend who writes and publishes Romance and Erotica, all in first person. When she wants to show multiple perspectives - the MMC and the FNC - she changes by chapter and calls out the character speaking under the chapter heading.

 

[Jmanchu]

The last three stories I've posted have moved back and forth between the man's viewpoint and the woman's viewpoint. That seems to be somewhat unusual, is this an effective way to tell a story of two people?

I don't see a problem with it. If it's effective or not depends on how effectively you work it into the story flow. If the narration is fluid, if it's done in a way that's not jarring as in the story hasn't suddenly shifted on you forcing you to pause a little to get your bearings, people might not even be distracted by it or even really notice. Some people still might, though, even if the writing is very fluid. But then again, I'm speaking as a guy whose stories tend to headhop a lot more than most people would recommend.