question about females

[rambling man]

I will readily admit both my intense fascination and ignorance on this subject, but im here to learn and be turned on

Anyway, it seems as if this board is "dominated" so to speak by females in terms of numbers. Does this reflect the bdsm lifestyle, too?

By the way, I wouldnt mind being dominated by large numbers of females myself
Have fun y'all!

 

[SweetBrat73]

No I don't believe that because there seems to be more women here that the BDSM lifestyle is dominated by women. I think women just need a place to express their interest in the lifestyle and to meet other women (and men) who share their interest. It's hard for women to express sexual interests in things "not normal". If she's a sub some ppl tend to think she's a "freak" for wanting a man to have that much control over her, and if she's a Domme then she's also a "freak". Pretty much a no win situation unless you live somewhere where you can go and be open about such things. If you live in a small town you surely can't go about talking about such "evil" and "impure" acts. Small towns suck sometimes. I don't know about men...but they seem to be able to express their sexual sides more easily in situations such as these...they are men after all. It's that double standards thing.


Brat

 

[Hecate]

More females then men into BDSM?

More females then men into BDSM?

I am pretty sure the "more females" on this BB is a matter of communicative disposition of us women. I think generally speaking us girls are more comfortable talking about intimate matters thus we may seem to outnumber the males in these discussions (not only on the BDSM board I would think but on most boards with more general topics).

As for the "reality", I don't know. I always had the impression that there are more submissives than dominants. Seeing that there are more confessing female submissive than male subs may still push the numbers to appear in a plus for females in general.

My personal opinion though is that we have a larger number of male dominats than female dominants (there goes your dream about being dominated by numbers of women - you usually find the male subs in desperate search for a fitting Domme, to not overuse the "lining up" image). There seem to be increasing numbers recently of confessing male submissives, but I still think on the sub side the females outnumber the men.

 

[cymbidia]

My personal opinion, based only on my observations in both everylife situations and online places, that MHetDom/fbisub BDSM'ers seem to outnumber any other kind, (with FBiDommes coming in really closely behind those two groups). Online, though, with the anonimity it provides, many people feel safe confessing to our kind of "unnatural" needs. Consequently, there are more mbisubs/mhetsubs making an appearance in online places than one sees overall.

Having said that, i have to add this: i just joined my local Munch group and have been to two of thier munches so far. At them, i've sat (quite by chance) near the same people. So far, surrounding me have been a Domme and her collared mslave, one man who told me he was a bottom, another who i think is probably a bottom (but we all know how dangerous it is to make assumptions about people's sexuality so i'm trying not to do that), the munch organizers (one is a mbottom the other is a MDominant) and another woman who i think is a Domme, too (again, with some real hesitations on guessing).

Are there LOTS more Dommes and male bottoms represented than one would anticipate in my so-small sampling or is the proportion of Dommes/msubs involved in this lifestyle underrepresented in the popular conception of who is a BDSM pervert?

I know from personal experience that many MDom's are reluctant to get involved in organized Munch type activities, at least the ones i've known over the years. I've never understood that, either, outside the fact that many of them had pretty high-powered careers and might have been worried about someone recognizing them.

Very interesting subject, this one of social dynamics in our small (relative to worldwide population) community of BDSM'er around the world.

 

[Ebonyfire]

FEmdom, etc.

I think that many femdoms keep their activities limited to femdoms groups. many use Alt.com , but that can lead to lots of unwanted attention. I do not worry about being outed cause I am not from the area where I lvie, and I keep my personal and professionial lives separate.

I agree there are more female submissives than female dominants. As for males subs, they have their way of making themselves known.

Ebony

 

[James Blandings]

I think that the Internet gives one a skewed perspective as to who participates in BDSM, because women tend to be more communicative about erotic behaviors and hence more likely to be discussing them online.
In the pre-Internet days, it was often stated that the population of people into S&M was consisted of 90% male bottoms,a nd 10% eveyone else. One club I belonged to in the 1980s had a ratio damn close to that. When we had parties, the single sub men would stand along the walls 3 deep hoping to catch some Tops attention.
The Internet seems to have changed that, with many more women coming into the scene, but I continue to believe that there are far more men involved, they are just more underground about it.

 

[rambling man]

thanks for all of the replies. I am learning quite a bit on this board and hopefully someday I can help my sig other help us both pur this to some real exciting use!

 

[cymbidia]

In the pre-Internet days, it was often stated that the population of people into S&M was consisted of 90% male bottoms,a nd 10% eveyone else. One club I belonged to in the 1980s had a ratio damn close to that. When we had parties, the single sub men would stand along the walls 3 deep hoping to catch some Tops attention.

My experience was very different in pre-internet days, James, though i'm certain yours was as you say. Perhaps there's a difference in the kinds of clubs we went to, or a geogrpahical difference with respect to who was more out with it? Additionally, in the pre-internet days, we had to be much more careful about allowing others to find out about our BDSM needs and that kept people playing in private houses far more than is common today.

However, in my experience, there have always been a lot of fsubs around, internet or no internet, and a correspondingly large number of MDoms. Maybe those were the kinds of lifestylers and clubs to which i gravitated?

 

[Sandy Balls]

I have been interested in the lifestyle for awhile now. Interested being, I have thought about it and like to look at pics, but have never done anything about it.

How would one go about finding your city's clubs? Since discreet is the mainstay.

I am interested in the Tulsa, OK.

Thanks.

 

[cymbidia]

I did a quick Google search using "Tulsa, OK" munch as my parameters and got 4 pages of hits. From that group i found this info in the link:

http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/TulsaDungeon/
Tulsa Dungeon Society

This is your local munch group. You can contact them for more specific info relating to munches/clubs/lifestyle events in your area.


With the parameterTulsa Oklahoma bdsm, i got more than 10 pages of hits, including these:

http://dmoz.org/Adult/Regional/North_America/United_States/Oklahoma/Society/BDSM/
All BDSM organizations in Oklahoma


There's a lot of very good and pertinent lifestyle info on the net for any specific geographic area for all who look. We're everywhere.

 

[James Blandings]

My experience was very different in pre-internet days, James, though i'm certain yours was as you say. Perhaps there's a difference in the kinds of clubs we went to, or a geogrpahical difference with respect to who was more out with it? Additionally, in the pre-internet days, we had to be much more careful about allowing others to find out about our BDSM needs and that kept people playing in private houses far more than is common today.

However, in my experience, there have always been a lot of fsubs around, internet or no internet, and a correspondingly large number of MDoms. Maybe those were the kinds of lifestylers and clubs to which i gravitated?

The difference may be geographic, I live in a big city where perhaps things were more open than in other areas, I don't know if that applies as to your experience. Also, the clubs I belonged to in the eighties and early nineties just were not the kinds of places that single women were likely to go.
I find it interesting when talking to people involved in BDSM to learn of how varied their experiences of the scene are. To me, that is so healthy, that we are not a tightly heterogenous bunch, but bring in such a variety of experience.