question about character development

[thatlonewolf]

hello everyone, got a little question

i'm trying to write a story, where my main character is a ice cold bitch. She doesn't really care for most people. She's friendly with most of her friends or people she often meets, but doesn't give a fuck about a random citizens. Near the end of my story i'd have her meet another person who she totally opens up to and she gets really sweet for that person.
It all went fairly well, until i got to my first sex scene. I tend to write romantic, sweet kind of stuff in my sex scenes. But i actually wanted more raw, pure lust kind of sex, to get yourself and maybe the other one as well off. though it more ended up like the former.
then i decided to modify the lead up to the sex a bit, so the sweet sex would make sense, but i think i'd prefer some raw sex.

do you have any suggestions?
like i said, every time i try something i want to make it sweet and loving, romantic-ish

 

[lovecraft68]

I like the idea of the raw sex. If she's the "frigid bitch" type the readership would get more of a kick out of her cutting loose than something along the sweet lines. Cold leads to lust easier than love.

My suggestion to lead up and "justify" something lewd and raunchy is add some alcohol. They're at the bar she has a few, she's feeling good, she has a few more, she gets back to his(or her) place and she is just out of control

Throw in the touch of even as she is going to town so to speak she has the thought of "Even as I dropped to my knees and practically ripped his cock from his pants, I wondered where the hell did this come from?

Or, a classic "I had forgotten how much fun it was to just throw caution to the wind" or "I couldn't remember ever being this wanton"

Just a few quick ideas.

Also if you want to go ahead and have some romance that is what chapter two is for.

They wake up the next morning-perhaps he wakes up first-and suprises her by kissing her softly and then slowly making love to her, she is caught off guard, but fins herself responding to and enjoying his touch.

Best of both.

 

[thatlonewolf]

Thanks for the suggestions.
I think i'll give some more details if you don't mind. In the beginning of the story i vaguely said the character doesn't have a shortage of sex. She's a leader figure in a gang and basically has a lot of money and power, so no problem getting laid.

I have her do a job. For the job she went to person A, who sends her to retrieve something of person B. (500kg drugs for example)
main character meets person B and they talk it over shortly. they strike a deal, person B gets to keep 50 kg or so in return for sex between the 2 of them.
Is that enough detail or still to vague?

 

[lovecraft68]

Thanks for the suggestions.
I think i'll give some more details if you don't mind. In the beginning of the story i vaguely said the character doesn't have a shortage of sex. She's a leader figure in a gang and basically has a lot of money and power, so no problem getting laid.

I have her do a job. For the job she went to person A, who sends her to retrieve something of person B. (500kg drugs for example)
main character meets person B and they talk it over shortly. they strike a deal, person B gets to keep 50 kg or so in return for sex between the 2 of them.
Is that enough detail or still to vague?

Hmmm, well its your story of course, but if this woman has no shortage of sex where does frigid come in?

But in that light, I guess romance would be more shocking than lewd. She sounds like the type to be wild, but not sweet so if you're looking for contrast then go with sweet.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Get the bitch a bottle of booze and let her rip.

 

[thatlonewolf]

i'm willing to discuss a bit, no problem. I'd like my story to make sense.
I didn't really intend my character to be frigid or short of sex. I want her to have plenty of it, sort of a girl who meets N fucks a lot.

But you're right about the romance being shocking. I'm writing right now and i'm making her cold hearted, distanced to anything serious. She isn't looking for a serious relationship, she just wants to have fun in her life. life her life.

right now, main character and person B have negotiated a bit. They end up having some rather good sex, also because person B's partner isn't around much and main character is pretty 'good' at the act.
main character asks for oral sex and gets it. Afterwards she's so satisfied, she lets person B keep a bit more as it wouldn't make that much difference for person A, who she doesn't care for anyway.
as she walks out person B asks main character to go have a drink sometime, but main character says no, much to B's disappointment

 

[lovecraft68]

i'm willing to discuss a bit, no problem. I'd like my story to make sense.
I didn't really intend my character to be frigid or short of sex. I want her to have plenty of it, sort of a girl who meets N fucks a lot.

But you're right about the romance being shocking. I'm writing right now and i'm making her cold hearted, distanced to anything serious. She isn't looking for a serious relationship, she just wants to have fun in her life. life her life.

right now, main character and person B have negotiated a bit. They end up having some rather good sex, also because person B's partner isn't around much and main character is pretty 'good' at the act.
main character asks for oral sex and gets it. Afterwards she's so satisfied, she lets person B keep a bit more as it wouldn't make that much difference for person A, who she doesn't care for anyway.
as she walks out person B asks main character to go have a drink sometime, but main character says no, much to B's disappointment

Wow this sounds like an Algebra problem. If A says this then B does this and....

Okay so A is more impressed than she would normally be. A finds herself thinking quite a bit about b. This is where you throw in a slow sexy masturbation session with her thinking of B.

After some debate she gives B a call and they go at it like wild cats and she is enjoying it far more then usual. Perhaps there is a brief moment in the middle of the hardcore action where a quick kiss turns into a lingering one and she is surprised at how much she enjoys it.

When they finish this time to B's delight A spends the night.

In the morning B wakes her up and catches her off guard with some sweet love making.

Whew.

 

[thatlonewolf]

in my opinion, now you're making it complicated
i'm assuming your B = my person B
and your A = my main character

i think i'm following you, but i should probably say and have said it earlier, but i don't intend the two of them to get together. This is just an encouter pure for business and in the extend of that sex as well. The one whom my main character falls in love with will be introduced later on.

 

[thatlonewolf]

sorry for the confusion by the way. when i read your idea again, it actually seems like a wonderful idea, my description to you just wasn't complete enough. my sincere apologies.

like i said, i wanna make them have some raw sex to get them off and sweet, loving sex simply isn't a part of that as it's more something for people in love or a loving couple. that part comes later, but until now i'd need some more primal, lustful sex.
Any ideas or small suggestions maybe?

i might use the idea for something else though, i like it

 

[PennLady]

Often what happens in stories with cold characters is that some major life event shakes them up and makes them reorganize their priorities -- see Scrooge, Ebeneezer.

I'm not sure exactly what you're going for here, but for example, suppose after the raw, lusty sex, she walks away from the guy and is then blindsided, or at least surprised, by how much she misses him, and not necessarily just for sex. He could give her something she didn't know she was missing, like understanding, or stability or reliability.

That might get you both your raw sex and romantic elements.

But if that's not what you're going for, if she's just out for sex, she could just be an assertive, maybe aggressive woman who wants sex. Perhaps she's had a bad day at work and wants release. Or there's a lot of family pressure, or both.

Not sure if that helps but I hope so.

 

[HeyAll]

Maybe she's rigid because she got burned in a few relationships.

Perhaps the new guy she meets has had the same thing happen to him a few times in his life, so he feels her pain.

He tells her about letting go and the importance of TRUST.

She agrees. Perhaps then he blindfolds her, turns her around, and screws her doggy style.

 

[JackLuis]

Maybe she's uncaring because of a former experience and when she meets B she let's it all hang out. He fucks her silly and she starts to get softer, until she finds out that he's a Narc?

There is a gunfight and she and he are the only ones left standing, She looks at him, he looks at her and they go at it like rabbits one last time before the ferry can bring new troops to the island to carry her off?

 

[slyc_willie]

I like the idea of the Ice Princess. To me, that sparks the thought of, here's a woman too self-conscious to really let herself go. So she keeps the upper hand when with her sexual partners, doing things such as making them "earn" her favor, then teasing them mercilessly.

I see her sitting in a chair in the bedroom as she tells her lover (male or female) to strip seductively and masturbate. This keeps her in control and places the spotlight on them. Then, at some point, she takes over and satisfies herself, with or without the lover reaching orgasm.

But then, eventually, something simply clicks with the right person. Someone who is as self-conscious as she who also keeps people at arm's length. Upon subconscious realization that this person is the right one for her, she finally allows herself to give in.

. . . or something like that.

If you're writing a complex character, you have to get inside their head and figure out why they are the way they are. Even if little or none of it is revealed to the reader, the more you udnerstand the character, the more easily and realistically you can write her.

 

[NaokoSmith]

It's common for people to become very sexually active but unable to have intimacy following earlier traumatic experiences, even to become what some call 'sex addicts'. Maybe if you have her highly competent sexually and proud of that but Nice Romantic Person is saying, You seem to have a problem letting go - he means emotionally and she doesn't know what he means. Then perhaps something could remind her of whatever she went through, she falls apart, turns to him, this leads to romance and emotional involvement - a different kind of sex.

Actually you have to have serious therapy not just some lovely nice guy to give you a cuddle for such a transformation, LOL, but hey, the cuddly guy option makes for a better, more erotic story.

I've seen a blogpost around on the Ice Princess character, sorry I didn't bookmark it, but you could google.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I like the idea of the Ice Princess. To me, that sparks the thought of, here's a woman too self-conscious to really let herself go. So she keeps the upper hand when with her sexual partners, doing things such as making them "earn" her favor, then teasing them mercilessly.

I see her sitting in a chair in the bedroom as she tells her lover (male or female) to strip seductively and masturbate. This keeps her in control and places the spotlight on them. Then, at some point, she takes over and satisfies herself, with or without the lover reaching orgasm.

But then, eventually, something simply clicks with the right person. Someone who is as self-conscious as she who also keeps people at arm's length. Upon subconscious realization that this person is the right one for her, she finally allows herself to give in.

. . . or something like that.

If you're writing a complex character, you have to get inside their head and figure out why they are the way they are. Even if little or none of it is revealed to the reader, the more you udnerstand the character, the more easily and realistically you can write her.

Professionally speaking, the person we're speaking of is what we call a CEREBRAL NARCISSIST. Hitler was one. Narcissists have all the problems with sex and other intimacies. Sociopaths, too. And you can be both.

You make an excellent point about clicking with the right person. I know from experience that when the right woman crosses my path Ima goner. I worked with lotsa teens years ago, and teens dont appeal to me, but one day a 16 year old came to the office and I woulda fucked up royally if she had winked at me. That lone girl coulda been my sickness. Steinbeck had one in EAST OF EDEN who ruined her school teacher.

I like to stress my characters so that their default traits erupt. I'm thinking of Paul Fussells World War 2 memoir. At the end women offered themselves and their daughters for food, protection, blankets, cigarettes etc. Stress brings out the personality.

Might make a good series.

 

[thatlonewolf]

thanks for the suggestions everyone
well no offense but i think i'll re explain the situation, i kinda feel like most don't really get it
my main character fucks a few people throughout the story, just simple sex to get off, no further strings attached.
Then at the end i want her to meet someone special who makes her heart beat faster.
I was thinking of letting them get together, with a little difficulty and when they've declared their love to each other or something like that, they make long, passionate love, doing all the things they want to.

 

[PennLady]

Your basic idea sounds fine, but I'm still not sure what you're looking for. If you're looking for ways to describe the sex, you might try shorter, more urgent sentences. Both people might be more aggressive -- there might be more nipping with teeth, fighting for the upper hand (?), that sort of thing. I'd go for words that get those ideas across.

If you're looking for ideas on developing your heroine, that's different. Sounds like you want to draw a line; you don't want her to be so hard or indifferent that she's unsympathetic. A serious hurt in her past might help with that, something that has damaged her trust, her faith in other people, or her ability to place that faith. For as loyal as she is, does she give second chances? If she perceives someone has crossed her, does she give them the benefit of the doubt, or does she cut them off right away?

Seems to me that if you're setting her up as kind of aloof and cool, then whoever you're going to have her end up with has to give her something she wants, but maybe even that she doesn't know she's missing, or wants.

 

[thatlonewolf]

Your basic idea sounds fine, but I'm still not sure what you're looking for. If you're looking for ways to describe the sex, you might try shorter, more urgent sentences. Both people might be more aggressive -- there might be more nipping with teeth, fighting for the upper hand (?), that sort of thing. I'd go for words that get those ideas across.


If you're looking for ideas on developing your heroine, that's different. Sounds like you want to draw a line; you don't want her to be so hard or indifferent that she's unsympathetic. A serious hurt in her past might help with that, something that has damaged her trust, her faith in other people, or her ability to place that faith. For as loyal as she is, does she give second chances? If she perceives someone has crossed her, does she give them the benefit of the doubt, or does she cut them off right away?
Seems to me that if you're setting her up as kind of aloof and cool, then whoever you're going to have her end up with has to give her something she wants, but maybe even that she doesn't know she's missing, or wants.

yes, the first part was sort of the thing i'm looking for. Though right now, i'm a little unsure where exactly the line is between good, raw sex that gets my characters off or just a simple and quick fuck, where neither of the 2 cares that much about the other one and it's over in a handful of sentences. I want my readers to enjoy it fully, so i'll have to think about that a bit

your second part seems right as well. I'm thinking of a few things, but i'm still not sure.
When do you think it would be a good time to tell the readers about past experiences? about the invisible scars?
my first thought would be after that first Meet N Fuck, where she rejects the offer for a serious date.

 

[NaokoSmith]

y
When do you think it would be a good time to tell the readers about past experiences? about the invisible scars?
my first thought would be after that first Meet N Fuck, where she rejects the offer for a serious date.

I think that sounds like a good moment, if you're keeping the story quite tight and not letting it go on for a lot of chapters of raw sex. A little bit of teasing can be good, 'nobody knew the pain at the core of her heart' although not as corny as that LOL.

You might also want to think about having a couple of encounters where she cuts off at the end and doesn't explain why, then it comes out more when she meets the person who makes her more tender - building up the tension towards the revelation. That could explain why that special man has that effect on her.

 

[thatlonewolf]

thanks for the advice NaokoSmith
i plan for the story to be somewhat long, a few encounters, about 4 sex scenes or so in total

but what do you mean with "a couple of encounters where she cuts off at the end and doesn't explain why" could you reformulate that sentence? i'm afraid english isn't my first language, so that causes some inconveniences every once in a while

 

[PennLady]

yes, the first part was sort of the thing i'm looking for. Though right now, i'm a little unsure where exactly the line is between good, raw sex that gets my characters off or just a simple and quick fuck, where neither of the 2 cares that much about the other one and it's over in a handful of sentences. I want my readers to enjoy it fully, so i'll have to think about that a bit

Don't worry quite so much about the readers -- write what works for you, what you like. Do you want them to have an enjoyable one night stand? No problem. Just because she doesn't form instant relationships doesn't mean she can't enjoy sex and have a good time. Does she just want release? No problem. (Although, side note: if all she wants is release, why not use a vibrator or other toy? Then she doesn't have to worry about connecting with a person.)

The line might be where you as the author describe how they enjoy things. Or not. Not how much, but how. Is she concentrating on herself, not caring what he's doing except for what he's doing to her? Does she want to get him off, perhaps to know that she excites him to that level? Or does she not care? Or does she enjoy sex better when both people take some time to please the other? Is she watching the clock, so to speak, or relaxing into it?

your second part seems right as well. I'm thinking of a few things, but i'm still not sure.
When do you think it would be a good time to tell the readers about past experiences? about the invisible scars?
my first thought would be after that first Meet N Fuck, where she rejects the offer for a serious date.

Again, the time to tell the readers is when you think it's right. After her first MnF might be fine; perhaps it triggers something in her. She could be reflecting on the experience, she could be talking about it with a friend of hers, whatever.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

thanks for the advice NaokoSmith
i plan for the story to be somewhat long, a few encounters, about 4 sex scenes or so in total

but what do you mean with "a couple of encounters where she cuts off at the end and doesn't explain why" could you reformulate that sentence? i'm afraid english isn't my first language, so that causes some inconveniences every once in a while

Maybe although she fucks a lot, she's only in it for getting herself off. When she doesn't feel like using toys or fingers. Once she's had one or two, she's done, but this Guy B she meets is different. They are more or less in the same occupation and he just does something, she thinks she can play on what she perceives as a weakness or insecurity- till in bed and although never really letting down her wall, she enjoys it.

 

[Ironiclaconic]

This shouldn't be that hard. If you want a raw, lusty sex scene, write her as someone who wants and needs a raw lusty sex scene. Lots of ways to do this -- sex with men who are intimidated by her isn't fulfilling but then HE comes into her life. Something gives her the freedom and safety to explore a fantasy. Emotional trauma, etc. Get into her head. What makes her WANT this.

Typically if your character doesn't want to do what you want, you haven't laid the groundwork as the author.