~qp~ Dominating your own mother

[Primalex]

When I visit my mother, she occassionally pushes some paper money into my hands in an attempted secretive gesture and mumbles something like "here, so you can buy something nice". I always get the urge to reply:"Mom, I'm not 16 anymore - for quite some time. I earn twice as much money as you and dad together. I don't need your money and it makes me feel awkward. So keep your stupid money."

It usually goes more like:
"Mom, this is really not necessary. Keep it."
"No, no, you take it and..."
<5 minutes later>
"*sighs* Yes, Mom."

Or the latest discussion regarding the restaurant after civil registry:
"Oh hello mom. Yes, preparations are going fine. I also picked the restaurant now."
"Restaurant? What restaurant? I thought we head to the pizzeria."
"Pizzeria? What pizzeria?"
"Oh, next to the registry is this nice pizzeria, I thought we just walk there."
"Pizzeria? For my guests, on my wedding day?"
"Yes, I checked it out there, the pizzas are really cheap."
"Mom? You don't really think I will go to a pizzeria on my wedding day, do you?"
"But why not, it's just over the corner and cheap."
"Mom!"

I wouldn't have a problem to put my girl in line if she would pull such stunts. But.. I just can't do it with my mom, usually it's merely resignation on my part (no, we will not go to a pizzeria though!). So..is there a way to dominate your own mother, to get her to do the things you want, to teach her that you are grown up? Should you be able to dominate your own mother as _true_ dominant?

 

[Netzach]

No.


I can't even herd mine.

 

[the captians wench]

I just don't have this problem with my mom.

Sure she'll express an opionion often that I don't like nor agree with, and I'll tell her then of my dissatisfaction, but she never pushes anything on me.

If it were up to here I would not have made a trip to Ireland by myself to meet a man I met online three years ago. Or at the very least she would have recieved information that I just felt was not nessisary for her to have. I just told her, I'm going and she knew nothing would stop me. The info I had a lot of guilt with, I wanted to make her happy but I didn't feel it was nessisary for her to have, and Jounar didn't like the idea of giving it to her, so I stuck by my guns and gave her all kinds of other information that I felt was acceptable. Eventually she caved, but expressed her own dissatisfaction in the way it went.

 

[Lady_Midnight]

Lol...can you dominate your own mother? Well that's given me a laugh

I might be dominant, but when it comes to my mother, I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always be her little girl.

 

[FurryFury]

Given that I've always been the adult and my mom the child, yes I can dominate her. I simply don't want to.

She is too damn much trouble. I find a certain distance to be best or I start to get depressed.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Me and my mom have very nice relationship. She's my mom and my best friend as well, but when it comes to decisions, theres NOTHING that can change my mind. When I want something, I do it "MY" way and I am going nuclear when she's trying to break me to do it "HER" way, LOL. Doesn't work with me! I or want it myself, or I don't. Easy as that. Not much she can do about that. Thats how it works with me.

She might not agree with me sometimes, but I always do things the way "I" want. I mean, I am 30 geezzzz!!!! I listen to her and her opinions, but when it comes to decisions, thank you but I got MY OWN head!

But hey I am hard headed chick and kind of a brat too. lol

 

[Netzach]

I do what I want, too.

The impossible seems to be getting HER to do what I want. Oy.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I do what I want, too.

The impossible seems to be getting HER to do what I want. Oy.

I can make my mom do what I want. And I must admit I made her do things my way few times.

Not proude of that.

 

[Primalex]

I do what I want, too.

The impossible seems to be getting HER to do what I want. Oy.

Nice said.

Just got another example. She was asking my girl about christmas gifts. She replied that we could use some new towels (because the color of those we have doesn't really match to the bathroom right now). I said that it's silly to buy us new towels now, as we move into a new home next year anyway and then we will again have towels that don't match the bathroom.

I already know that we will get towels for christmas.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Nice said.

Just got another example. She was asking my girl about christmas gifts. She replied that we could use some new towels (because the color of those we have doesn't really match to the bathroom right now). I said that it's silly to buy us new towels now, as we move into a new home next year anyway and then we will again have towels that don't match the bathroom.

I already know that we will get towels for christmas.

Well you can always find a new home acording your towels ya know!! lol

 

[Netzach]

Nice said.

Just got another example. She was asking my girl about christmas gifts. She replied that we could use some new towels (because the color of those we have doesn't really match to the bathroom right now). I said that it's silly to buy us new towels now, as we move into a new home next year anyway and then we will again have towels that don't match the bathroom.

I already know that we will get towels for christmas.

Undoubtedly.

I have a set of dishes that we've never used once.

 

[intothewoods]

Nice said.

Just got another example. She was asking my girl about christmas gifts. She replied that we could use some new towels (because the color of those we have doesn't really match to the bathroom right now). I said that it's silly to buy us new towels now, as we move into a new home next year anyway and then we will again have towels that don't match the bathroom.

I already know that we will get towels for christmas.

Is this like her baby is finally growing up (getting married), or has she always been like this?

I'm embarassed to admit that a real selling point for my PYL is that he sort of keeps his mother at arm's length. I haven't even met her yet (I keep dodging it). I do horribly with guys' mothers.

 

[Primalex]

Is this like her baby is finally growing up (getting married), or has she always been like this?

I would say always.

I'm embarassed to admit that a real selling point for my PYL is that he sort of keeps his mother at arm's length. I haven't even met her yet (I keep dodging it). I do horribly with guys' mothers.

Well, I usually do keep my whole family at arm's length, but unfortunately (?) my girl gets along very well with my mother. My mom isn't the kind of person that tries to dominate me anyway (which would fail), not that you get the wrong impression. She doesn't try to tell me anything at all what I should do (except to give subtle hints who in the family has birthday and should get at least a phone call) and she isn't the nosey kind and is basically the perfect (step)mother. Her point of view of who/how I am is just so irritating.

 

[Harmony_1985]

You wouldn't dominate my mother, she would dominate you.

You'd slap her on the ass and she'd lay you out with one punch.

 

[BlueEyesEternal]

I had no idea so many people had trouble controlling their mothers. I can't control my dad for anything, but my mother controls him and I control her, so it all works out as it should in the end

 

[LilyBart]

I had no idea so many people had trouble controlling their mothers. I can't control my dad for anything, but my mother controls him and I control her, so it all works out as it should in the end

As it should be.

Wait! I meant your mother controls your father. Not you controlling your mother.

*Frown* You should not be controlling her.

Truthfully, my mother tries to get the upper hand most of the time. Even after all these years, I honestly don't mind; knowing that she is the one person who will always love me forever, no matter how I screw up. So I generally let her do her thing. I just take a lot of deep breaths. But really, what keeps me going, is that she will always love me. Whatever happens. That only comes from a parent, I think.

Seriously, if giving you a bit of money, or whatever, makes her happy, its really not a bad thing. When someone gives you unconditional love, its worth acknowledging and appreciating. Domination really doesn't figure into it. My approach is, my mother, (and ymmv) sacrificed a lot for me. I don't mind giving back.

And I am not a submissive...but I get just like Primalex's Mom when it comes to my own more or less adult children. Is it the natural order of things? Who knows...

My 2 cents.

~LB

 

[Kajira Callista]

Both my children dominate me totally and daily. Ask anyone around here who really knows me.
It's not in a bad way but I truly am their slavegirl lol.

 

[lesliejones]

I've never been able to dominate my mother. But I did have a friend growing up whose family had a rather weird kind of thing going on. My friend's mother was quite the domineering type and she was totally in control of her husband, even going so far as to discipline him in front of the rest of the family. My friend succeeded in convincing everyone that her mom needed to be disciplined too and that she was the one to do it. There was a family conference and it was agreed that the husband could punish the younger daughter, the younger daughter could punish the older one (my friend), my friend could punish her mom, and her mom could discipline her dad. This often occurred in front of the rest of the family. It is quite weird, of course, but sounds quite delicious to me as well.

 

[MasterTennessee]

What a perverted thread.

 

[FurryFury]

What a perverted thread.

Thanks! that's our specialty!