Pussy issues?

[EJFan]

eilan... this thread is HYSTERICAL!!!!

i only wish i hadn't been so busy last week so i could have gotten in on the ground floor. it definitely deserves to be in your "best of 2005" list!

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

Perhaps while you are in there you could attach a small sensing device (similar to the reversing sensors available on some cars) that will give off an audible signal as the approach to the G-spot is made, that should help people find the little sucker.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Perhaps while you are in there you could attach a small sensing device (similar to the reversing sensors available on some cars) that will give off an audible signal as the approach to the G-spot is made, that should help people find the little sucker.

Ahhhh Like a homing beacon!!

That's another great idea, but again, not one that matches the current problem.

We're now getting into sonic pleasure devices. This has real potential. Perhaps we shoudl start a new thread.

 

[TBKahuna123]

then i guess i don't understand what the microphone is for.

My original idea was a microphonewould recieve the sonic waves and return them. As Yank pointed out though, that's not really necessary, as simple white noise would work just as well and require fewer components.

 

[Eilan]

Assuming your serious...what? Good thing I couldn't care less about this. Did someone bring this up to you? Who the hell even thinks about this stuff? Maybe it doesn't matter to me because I have only had one partner and we fit. Just think it's a weird topic.

Well, you could always try substituting "cock" for "pussy" and see if that's any less weird or annoying.

Hehe, it took me a second to figure out this was a parody thread. Well played.

 

[M's girl]

I do like the idea of a remote control device which could operate much like a variable oscillation white noise machine. Now who on earth can we get to manufacture such a device? The one person who originally came to mind was Q, who so admirably outfitted Mr. Bond with all those elegant little devices. Since M has now taken his position (I do have this right, don't I?), perhaps M's Girl would be willing to get us a good rate on the design and production.

What do you think?

Sorry I did not come back on this one earlier. But M and I haven been VERY busy developing and testing the new device M has come up with as per your request.

We've tried everything and M has been pretty busy. At one point our whole bedroom had changed into a soud- and recording studio. Finally admitting this scenario was not very doable he went back to the drawing table and came back with this (see picture). It is pattented already (always need to be careful with those simple though advanced new technique findings) and we called it "M Audio Nova"...

The device comes with a fancy é-tui and tripod attachment accessory, and get this: that also double features as the new state of the art cockring/clit-stimulator ornament. Remember it's a prototype and we'll need some more time to fine-tune the whole apparatus. Also, we are still testing on using both the microphone and tripod attachment (in it's second usage-mode) at the same time. But since we are frequently utilizing the Pussymaster 5000 device there is only a problem of logistics as in who/what gets in first rather than there being not enough room for both

To be continued....

 

[TBKahuna123]

Sorry I did not come back on this one earlier. But M and I haven been VERY busy developing and testing the new device M has come up with as per your request.

We've tried everything and M has been pretty busy. At one point our whole bedroom had changed into a soud- and recording studio. Finally admitting this scenario was not very doable he went back to the drawing table and came back with this (see picture). It is pattented already (always need to be careful with those simple though advanced new technique findings) and we called it "M Audio Nova"...

The device comes with a fancy é-tui and tripod attachment accessory, and get this: that also double features as the new state of the art cockring/clit-stimulator ornament. Remember it's a prototype and we'll need some more time to fine-tune the whole apparatus. Also, we are still testing on using both the microphone and tripod attachment (in it's second usage-mode) at the same time. But since we are frequently utilizing the Pussymaster 5000 device there is only a problem of logistics as in who/what gets in first rather than there being not enough room for both

To be continued....

Alrighty, now I think we needs some usage diagrams, or better yet photos. hint hint.

 

[midwestyankee]

Alrighty, now I think we needs some usage diagrams, or better yet photos. hint hint.

Photos? Yeah, sure. But what I need in order to complete my research would be the audio files. Lots of them; as you know, the larger the sample size, the better the research results.

You see, Eilan, sometimes size really does matter.

 

[Eilan]

Photos? Yeah, sure. But what I need in order to complete my research would be the audio files. Lots of them; as you know, the larger the sample size, the better the research results.

You see, Eilan, sometimes size really does matter.

I'm hanging my head in shame.

 

[M's girl]

Alrighty, now I think we needs some usage diagrams, or better yet photos. hint hint.

Ooooohw.... you know how hard it is to take pictures while you are juggling the M Audio Microphone device, PLUS the cockring-attachment-thing AND M at the same time?! Patience my dear....

As for the soundfiles.... recording machine failed us (had nothing to do with M's invention) so we are now interviewing our neighbors for real life witness accounts of the first sessions. Well.... we're trying to get a hold of them anyway but they seem to have disappeared, leaving all their belongings behind.

It's weird...

 

[M's girl]

I'm hanging my head in shame.

Eilan, sweetie, don't let MWY upset you. You know, he can be a bit harsh sometimes.

 

[Nightbird]

Eilan you know I think it's great that you are so willing to conversate with your friends about your Pussy issues. I mean there are so many people with the same issues... Your truly doing a public service here.

 

[Guest]

 

[Nightbird]

Come on Scalywag you don't come here for the same reason you read porn magazines? For the Articles??

 

[Guest]

 

[M's girl]

You freaking pervert, you should be ashamed of yourself. This fine young lady has bared her soul to us (but not much else), and all you can think of is pictures? Sheesh. This is an erotic literature site you freak!

We allow this to happen, and the next thing you know, there'll be an amateur photo forum on this site. What is this world coming too?

Thanks for your concerns Scaly .... But what do you know? I would be more than happy to include pictures but we're still juggling the mike and cockring-tripod-attachment-device-thing (sigh) and need some furher Pussymaster work done on me first to be able to accomodate the camera inside

 

[Guest]

 

[TBKahuna123]

I think MWY is right though, we will need some audio samples to fine tune the frequencies. Eilan, do you happen to have a microphone laying around? Preferably one of those with a bulbous removable fuzzy ball on the top? You know, like one of those Karaoke machines?

 

[Eilan]

Eilan you know I think it's great that you are so willing to conversate with your friends about your Pussy issues. I mean there are so many people with the same issues... Your truly doing a public service here.

I consider it more of a pubic service.

Eilan, do you happen to have a microphone laying around? Preferably one of those with a bulbous removable fuzzy ball on the top? You know, like one of those Karaoke machines?

Um, no. Does it help if I tell you that I'm 5'6"?

 

[Raine D8]

This is probably a "female" thing, but I'm quite sensitive about the whole pussy depth issue. I'm not positive because I've never measured or anything, but I'm pretty sure that I'm average. Would most men have any complaints about fucking a pussy that's only average depth?

My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're quite attracted to each other, we have regular sex, and we communicate openly and honestly. I've voiced my concerns to him, and he thinks that a deep pussy is more important to women than it is to men. However, I think that he's bound by our marriage vows to be nice about stuff like this. My other partners have had no complaints, either, but I was wondering if they could be have trying to placate or reassure me just so they could get in my pants.

Does anybody know of methods that would help increase vagina depth? Are there any techniques or pills or any methods of stretching or lengthening the vaginal canal? I'm willing to try just about anything at this point, as long as I don't have to insert objects that go through, past, or beyond my cervix.

Please help me. I consider a deep pussy to be a status symbol of sorts, and I worry about how my pussy "measures up" to all the other pussies out there. I've considered withholding sex from my husband because I don't feel that my pussy can satisfy him enough, even though I know there's probably nothing wrong with it.

Thanks in advance.

Deep pussy? Quite frankly a dick can only reach so far and most of them are average, and can't even scrape the cervix. A hand has it's own pleasures, safely. A deep pussy as a status symbol? If this is a serious concern, then I must ask ... is it a fetish of yours? Or your husbands? Certainly, you are the first person I know of who has ever been concerned with the depth of a pussy, so I have no experience in this matter, just questions.

 

[Eilan]

Deep pussy? Quite frankly a dick can only reach so far and most of them are average, and can't even scrape the cervix. A hand has it's own pleasures, safely. A deep pussy as a status symbol? If this is a serious concern, then I must ask ... is it a fetish of yours? Or your husbands? Certainly, you are the first person I know of who has ever been concerned with the depth of a pussy, so I have no experience in this matter, just questions.

LMAO!

If that sounds absurd, check out post #31 in this thread.

 

[manofsteel52]

This is probably a "female" thing, but I'm quite sensitive about the whole pussy depth issue. I'm not positive because I've never measured or anything, but I'm pretty sure that I'm average. Would most men have any complaints about fucking a pussy that's only average depth?

My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're quite attracted to each other, we have regular sex, and we communicate openly and honestly. I've voiced my concerns to him, and he thinks that a deep pussy is more important to women than it is to men. However, I think that he's bound by our marriage vows to be nice about stuff like this. My other partners have had no complaints, either, but I was wondering if they could be have trying to placate or reassure me just so they could get in my pants.

Does anybody know of methods that would help increase vagina depth? Are there any techniques or pills or any methods of stretching or lengthening the vaginal canal? I'm willing to try just about anything at this point, as long as I don't have to insert objects that go through, past, or beyond my cervix.

Please help me. I consider a deep pussy to be a status symbol of sorts, and I worry about how my pussy "measures up" to all the other pussies out there. I've considered withholding sex from my husband because I don't feel that my pussy can satisfy him enough, even though I know there's probably nothing wrong with it.

Thanks in advance.

Will you women please stop this!
You don't see men posting threads asking "is my cock big enough", do you?
Of course not. You need to realize, it's not the size that counts, but how you use it...


This is really hysterical!

 

[Eilan]

Will you women please stop this!
You don't see men posting threads asking "is my cock big enough", do you?
Of course not. You need to realize, it's not the size that counts, but how you use it...


This is really hysterical!

 

[DyerStr8ts]

I happen to have my internet penis ruler handy. It may also work with vagina depth, give it a try...



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