Puns

[dashie33]

Oh, you want me to knit an effigy?

I darn you!

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/20953665_1611801578838680_8916280896398497020_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_eui2=AeEQhAYOONRzD96dzaCla1cZ9m_CocBt-Voyjfmps-M0HlIl9YEXK-aiz-N-AOKBaXCZS_LHurJ2CHZNBqKuCkm5vZ9RhcRaOvIrFUvElIAzmg&_nc_oc=AQne5Q6MoPF6Djs4ROuBssZRpoktI8ZkM2fzNIA8nhx6Z3dRuxLA_EcXskUW9V5BrFurg1tTlY4Ta6HT-fmgSh1l&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=d4040edb66c41f631ab8cb8a795189b8&oe=5DD8D6E8

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/68842619_2669698146387789_6523254650525712384_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_eui2=AeHG5sWtMM416ECXCoIWp4ZG2yUumNrq4A5otBdDd7P8kD9iMkJytH1DJp-GDjlzQLi_n1xiSMHYPi7TGiYiF2zwdQTPI513y6Q50CbXskVhWQ&_nc_oc=AQmw5tz1KDvJcXJnW4eY59VQyZQgZt2EJYMqNRvAk027_XCGrt5PUSxiTTsAZ1IxK3Ruduirnjk1e7HZut1Qxt_m&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=8f5e72d43fa6684c2df5a726e1705d10&oe=5E0BE92D


A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

 

[done_got_old]

My rival with a girl was a physician. So I gave her an apple every day.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/68949194_2413443602068810_4028497758200528896_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_oc=AQn7YGBUyeN-59NGE2p50voQcJdU08gbATqNguYxcAzLk93I9VmJ-vsN2WHNi1Ktn_wQ1IpHEiz8wtNFYpQfOGsx&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=be124683ab9e622231e2ba8c11078caf&oe=5DD57F29

 

[done_got_old]

Last night I dreamed I was a muffler.
When I woke up I was exhausted!​

 

[mnbreastluver]

Blowing a seal can get you fired from your job as a mechanic or a zookeeper.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69848718_2338460996274919_6104723389044228096_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_eui2=AeGxsa64vVpYiV2f37s_kLI-7rFkv9TNEVCt_4u59FKm9rPuQxeQcDWJSsocTPOvn1vWSxYdLl9wyCXRt6t7N7jLHrPdJNm97s-ugWqXVrklag&_nc_oc=AQloKwgj9uVYFCgG1YD2h9rvvr1IjLpNeUH4PObLu59wW_FUAfU768I1XHUeY13sYZCq7fCQlZ5mf9eiDYH0MRok&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=dea0265aba4b7a673c84c25aa0298256&oe=5E132E3A

 

[done_got_old]

Being half man and half horse, he enjoyed being the centaur of attention.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69797765_358991798338694_6338199357443014656_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_eui2=AeGOZAqiZJHlnPbXpN6aLHo6Dilg7VdW3I3tOJ_ADDLBMOCQUsM38YsYVeukH2RCi0O_nw3gOcEdn0o0_FIPZZWG2ai2brVrPvRMmb1mM3Oe8g&_nc_oc=AQmqt_tHuJwKw36RUSJeUsSRwE0Qkjwt9ga9ST_EE1gMOm3pyGxZw-W5ICkp2ellH75Vx0m-dd1plHI3K-wb-bAR&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=58b918741b3f58de8172922302bed010&oe=5E0712CA

 

[Ask For More]

My friend was born in a car on the way to the hospital. His father named him Carson.

 

[done_got_old]

My pet rock doesn't look a bit well today.....I think it's stoned.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If a vampire bit a zombie would the zombie become a vampire or would the vampire become a zombie.

 

[done_got_old]

Is there reason why bra shouldn't be called a booby trap?

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69771021_2455309034529100_4232954234603044864_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_eui2=AeHj_sNRABC1uEvczn8bklrk1TUrLepF6ZVCtCgWyVMMUzWAghMdVHZMio-yizfJ88bQibV5kPRlcuM-7_kfwssSK4r6Cz5QG7PkjoRyQK29VQ&_nc_oc=AQmvAGxZGwvJPQBfA1Vz0LMNXJbZCzf0T7_8k_AXvYhQ7lBaJ_LJ89kWm8FKwhBw3kcUBionm2u2F2GOcfj_OsAm&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=7d8599ee38b1197b4fb5120ae296d9ea&oe=5E028BD9

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69209324_2343798689074483_3366472993843707904_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_eui2=AeGQUhobyyuTiXdLSE3oie6t2_Jm93YoLfqJavPn2jZizjQMrvEM-xzElvHD7MkgHGce_vkM8uCn1hTjvN4PnFkMtlb3alNKZbvR78J_HCbO0Q&_nc_oc=AQnhlcdYtLYdKXFFJ-LjEV_McVPQmkmRYBDpiKyiymEaQRpo0nlHUIcRxXlmC9LIYs49WcEWbLpX44quHh-u86UR&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=60c10dbc6df456ce9e5085d8d2ece574&oe=5DD3FC71

 

[mnbreastluver]

The person who coined the term "coined the term", coined the term "coined the term".

 

[done_got_old]

https://oi468.photobucket.com/albums/rr47/done-got-old/69492396_10215151270999656_8951075757442990080_n_zpsmfkhixun.jpg

 

[done_got_old]

Buying a new toilet was a big expense for me, so I decided to sit on it for a while.

 

[done_got_old]

Have you got bills to pay?
If you do, please give it back.
He looks silly bald.

 

[Eisranac]

Have you got bills to pay?
If you do, please give it back.
He looks silly bald.

I do have it. Hair it is.

Is debt enough, or do I need to do more?

 

[done_got_old]

I do have it. Hair it is.

Is debt enough, or do I need to do more?

 

[mnbreastluver]

If Pornhub is planting a tree for every video watched, men are literally spreading their seeds.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69708380_10215572653569420_4760643679050268672_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_eui2=AeHY0jQPy6Vh3u1-T9KVeYReQhr1F7-9OZu_m6ioqJU20jtnxvr5iTPQemNrMK1Qkc6PM1-2joJv0XnmXek2lW6VEyhBrLSBgzgWOwT6o23jHw&_nc_oc=AQkNQ2aFXMUwXS0qP8h1OH3LMqAgArt0PsbMqNzCWuplCaMLrl-mag9l4bJcbPXjfkCKuhDG3eTXAvTx2-T6jpEW&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=817fb2bd8ef160bb704f199adc57d186&oe=5E0C3026

 

[Eisranac]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69708380_10215572653569420_4760643679050268672_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_eui2=AeHY0jQPy6Vh3u1-T9KVeYReQhr1F7-9OZu_m6ioqJU20jtnxvr5iTPQemNrMK1Qkc6PM1-2joJv0XnmXek2lW6VEyhBrLSBgzgWOwT6o23jHw&_nc_oc=AQkNQ2aFXMUwXS0qP8h1OH3LMqAgArt0PsbMqNzCWuplCaMLrl-mag9l4bJcbPXjfkCKuhDG3eTXAvTx2-T6jpEW&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=817fb2bd8ef160bb704f199adc57d186&oe=5E0C3026

Sorry, but I must draw the line on this one: that sign unfortunately paints all artists with one broad stroke, and I could not brush past that.